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jhart297
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Feeling left out: mother-in-law speaks different language
jhart297
member
Hey community,
Looking for some advice on how to handle this situation, or if I even should at all.
My MIL speaks primarily Spanish, I do not and my BF only speaks it to her. Although Spanish is her primary language, she does know English.. at least to an extent, but she ONLY speaks Spanish when she's in our home. Now, of course I want our daughter growing up knowing Spanish (she is half Puerto Rican), but whenever MIL comes over, I feel extremely left out and have no idea what she's even saying to our daughter.. I'm almost practically ignored in my own home.
My SIL lives across the street, so we can't have one visitor without the other, and then the 3 of them are just speaking and conversing while I usually just sit there, totally unaware of what's going on. I honestly feel that my BF is just oblivious to it and I don't really know how to bring it up without sounding like a bitch, but I'd like to feel included during these visits (at least) in my own home.
What also urks me is that our daughter usn't wicked familiar with them yet (she's 10 weeks), so she gets pretty fussy pretty quickly and although I'm sitting RIGHT THERE, MIL and SIL will talk with each other and try to soothe her without asking me how to calm the babe and because she doesn't know them real well, she just gets fussier.
Again, I do want my daughter to be able to embrace her fathers heritage, but I also want to feel included in my own home.
My MIL speaks primarily Spanish, I do not and my BF only speaks it to her. Although Spanish is her primary language, she does know English.. at least to an extent, but she ONLY speaks Spanish when she's in our home. Now, of course I want our daughter growing up knowing Spanish (she is half Puerto Rican), but whenever MIL comes over, I feel extremely left out and have no idea what she's even saying to our daughter.. I'm almost practically ignored in my own home.
My SIL lives across the street, so we can't have one visitor without the other, and then the 3 of them are just speaking and conversing while I usually just sit there, totally unaware of what's going on. I honestly feel that my BF is just oblivious to it and I don't really know how to bring it up without sounding like a bitch, but I'd like to feel included during these visits (at least) in my own home.
What also urks me is that our daughter usn't wicked familiar with them yet (she's 10 weeks), so she gets pretty fussy pretty quickly and although I'm sitting RIGHT THERE, MIL and SIL will talk with each other and try to soothe her without asking me how to calm the babe and because she doesn't know them real well, she just gets fussier.
Again, I do want my daughter to be able to embrace her fathers heritage, but I also want to feel included in my own home.
Advice? Suggestions? Comments? Thank you!! Xo
Re: Feeling left out: mother-in-law speaks different language
Duolingo is free and great for learning languages! I would use that and then practice with your SO so that hopefully one day, you'll be able to keep up with the Spanish and not have rely on English
"Hey, I'd like to talk to you all too. Would you mind speaking English?" is not at all bad to say or "bitchy."
To the bolded, I think most people who hold a baby do this. My own mother does it! If she doesn't settle down, I will ultimately say, "here, maybe she needs to nurse" and will take her, or I'll say, "you can keep holding her if you want but if you get tired of a fussy baby, I can take her."
I'm not saying that's your only solution... I def think the other ladies had some great ideas... just wanted to tell you what I did to deal with the problem. Its actually cool because sometimes when I'm in Germany and we are out to eat, other tables will ask me where in Germany I come from. When I tell them I'm from New York they are blown away....
PS I actually decided to learn when I thought about what it would be like for my kid to be able to speak german but not me!