FFFC 12/8

sandbar517 · December 2017

lincbeesmom · December 2017

DS eats way more sugar than I’d like to admit. I just don’t know how to say no to him and I guilt myself about it all the time.

sandbar517 · December 2017

@lincbeesmom I've dealt with so much guilt over what my girls eat, and I'm really trying to not be so hard on myself. The other night for dinner, I gave them pickles (because that's what they asked for) and when I asked what they wanted to eat for "actual" dinner, they said baby oranges. So that was their dinner. Pickles and clementines. Then before bed we had some tortilla chips. I'm at the point where I'm not going to waste my time (or theirs) making something that they won't eat and then having it end in a shouting/crying match when they don't eat it. Granted, I don't do this every night, and I usually compare notes with hubby to see what/how well they ate for lunch, but I just don't kill myself with guilt over it anymore. My pediatrician is amazing, and every time I bring up the fact that I feel guilty over what they are or aren't eating, he says, they're still growing, that's all that matters. I give them a multivitamin and don't let them dictate every meal, but I also don't go my p-words in a bunch over it anymore, either. Pick your battles. Maybe that's my FFFC?

lincbeesmom · December 2017

@sandbar517 last night, his dinner was ramen noodles (no broth), a slice of provolone, and some pretzel sticks. It kind of plays into what i was saying about marriage and social media yesterday. Instagram and moms on Facebook want you to believe that their kids are eating the well put together balanced meals all the time and it stresses me out so much!!!

sandbar517 · December 2017

Yeah, that happens to all of us, I think. I posted on facebook about giving my kids cereal for dinner one night and one of my good friends that, to me, always seems to have her shit together (even though she never goes out of her way to make it seem that way, she just gives off that organized "with-it" vibe) posted that they have cereal at least once a week in their house. It made me feel SO much better about myself, and was just this invisible weight lifting off my shoulders, knowing that a. other people do it, too, b. no one (at least not the people I care about) are going to judge me over it, and c. that I'm finally at the point in both my life and my motherhood that I just don't give a good goddamn about what other people think of me or how I raise my kids. It's so freeing! LOL

mileswithmyles · December 2017

@sandbar517 DS often eats just fruit for dinner sometimes. I know he eats a balanced meal and two snacks at school and I just can’t make it my hill to die on at this point. I feel like it all balances out.

mileswithmyles · December 2017

AFM, I can literally never successfully pee in the cup at the doctor’s office. I always feel like I have my shit together until I have to do that.

cups4 · December 2017

Yes to the eating. I also don't want dinner time to be a stress inducing time for everyone and become an issue in our house. The toddler had strawberries and popcorn last night.

lincbeesmom · December 2017

mileswithmyles said:

AFM, I can literally never successfully pee in the cup at the doctor’s office. I always feel like I have my shit together until I have to do that.

At my last appointment, DS said, “Mom I see your little butt!” Haha

cups4 · December 2017

We are making the downstairs room, below our bedroom the nursery, and family members have made comments about that. You want me to move the mobile, stair climbing toddler, who will already have to transition to a toddler bed without the crib cage downstairs to our only other bedroom, out of his room, and force him to have a sibling on top of it? NOPE. The baby is going downstairs where she will be protected in a crib and know no difference. I am that mom, putting the baby in the (finished) basement, to save the sanity of the toddler and myself.

charlestonchew · December 2017

I often forget I'm pregnant or think it's just been me being crazy. I had in the back of my head the genetic counselor would call me and say sorry you're not actually pregnant.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

DS rarely eats a balanced meal for dinner. It's a fight every night and he's so picky. I just let him eat what he wants and try to introduce other things. I at least know he eats at daycare, so try to not worry about it too much.

tincupchalice · December 2017

DS1 ate so many sweets yesterday that he puked.

I wore PJ pants to costco and I don't care.

I always pee all over myself at the midwife's office. Last time DS1 asked if that was juice in the cup and could he have some.

cups4 · December 2017

I have a TA during my class that coincides with lunch. I just gave her money to bring us back smoothies and popcorn from the snack store...

suchaglencoco · December 2017

I have had to pee in so many cups with all of our pregnancy struggles that it is FINALLY one of my strengths! I push that bad boy way too hard against my downstairs that I'm sure there is a ring around my vagina. I'm waiting for them to comment on it during a pelvic exam.

Our kids definitely don't eat balanced meals every day. DH recently got upset at DS for not eating something DH made that he had eaten and liked before. I asked DH "when I cook something because I'm hungry for it, are you always excited to eat it? Or do you eat it sometimes because you know it's not a big deal to eat one meal you're not craving ad you know it'll spare my feelings?" When he responded that of course he doesn't always want what's been made, but eats it anyway I reminded him that he's an adult and gets that logic. Our kids are toddlers. They won't always want what we want to eat and they aren't old enough to understand they need to eat what's been made. So yup, some nights their played ate filled with fruit or with chips or with cereal because they need to eat!! I too also only eat cereal for dinner because I'm an adult and that's a luxury we have as adults!!!

My fffc is I'm trying to convince dh to go into the office tomorrow instead of working from home to get caught up at work. When he works from home, the dogs or kids hear him in the office and then whine or cry for him and then I have to deal with the aftermath of tantrums. Or he'll come out to eat or pee and I'll want to smack him, haha.
I'd rather have him gone for a few hours.

Ceridwen77 · December 2017

I think I’m the other end of the FFFC spectrum here with my toddler and mealtime. If she doesn’t eat what we all eat for dinner, then she doesn’t eat anything. Only exception is if she asks for vegetables or fruit in addition to what she has on her plate. I probably sound evil but I am serving food that she likes. I do push it sometimes (like this week I made vegetarian pad Thai which she hasn’t had before, but she loves almost all Asian food and likes most of the veggies I put in it, so I think that’s fair game). She did eat most of it. I just don’t have time to make two meals and I believe if she’s really hungry she’ll eat.

Also she doesn’t get sweets or snacks when she’s home (she does at grandma’s house), unless it’s a special occasion.

Flame away.

lincbeesmom · December 2017

@Ceridwen77 haha I don’t think you’ll get flamed for feeding your child a well balanced meal and not letting her dictate the household menu.

Ceridwen77 · December 2017

lincbeesmom said:

@Ceridwen77 haha I don’t think you’ll get flamed for feeding your child a well balanced meal and not letting her dictate the household menu.

Haha maybe im just hoping for something controversial to pop up here because these threads are always so tame and lovely. Needs more drama. But I can’t think of any really dramatic confessions myself

ivyvines6 · December 2017

So... I guess my fffc is if J doesn’t eat what we’re having he doesn’t eat... I will say that I do not have a picky eater though so this is usually an extremely rare issue for us. When he is having a no day we don’t make a big deal out of it and move on. I do give him extra at the next meal to make up for it. AND he eats a lot of quick foods throughout the day that I hobble together to call a meal, like pbj and yogurt, or a cheese stick with mixed berries, mac and cheese with tomatoes, etc. (Sometimes I even give him sugar (a cookie) to make him behave while we’re out shopping! which is one of those FTM things I swore would never happen)

Ftr I’m not showing off my kid with his want to eat me out of house and home, I’m more saying that everyone makes concessions with the “perfect” meals in their homes behind closed doors. If I liked cereal we would probably have it once every couple of weeks for dinner too! Our go to lazy meals are order in pizza, and grilled cheese with soup.

cups4 · December 2017

@Ceridwen21 I don't make separate meals often either, he just ate only the strawberries on his plate and when we made popcorn later he had that, too. But he also has a tomato allergy, so if I want pizza or anything with a tomato based sauce, I have to make something different.

Ceridwen77 · December 2017

@cups4 allergies would make meals very tough! I feel for anyone with a child with allergies.

mileswithmyles · December 2017

I don't make DS separate meals, but he does like fruit, so if he asks for it in addition to what we are eating, he gets it.

We used to just have him eat what we are eating, but HG has caused cooking to go out the window for the most part for me, so we are all eating random/weird stuff for dinner. He's getting chicken nuggets most nights while I eat soup or a bowl of cereal because everything else sounds terrible.

suchaglencoco · December 2017

@Ceridwen21, how old is your toddler? We've tried the "eat this meal or eat nothing" but we've had several nights with each kid where they wake up hungry at 2 am and need something to eat or they can't go back to sleep. Has this ever happened?
Our plan is to shift to eating whatever is on the table, but I don't know when we can do this without issue.

cups4 · December 2017

@Ceridwen21 I'm right there with you though. I use to babysit for a kid and his mom made a separate meal every night for him. Unless it's something I really want and am craving and know he can't have it, I'm not making 2 dinners.

charlestonchew · December 2017

@suchaglencoco FTM so I'm telling someone else's story but I had someone once tell me if their child refused to eat they would save the leftovers and serve it to them until they ate it.

suchaglencoco · December 2017

charlestonchew said:

@suchaglencoco FTM so I'm telling someone else's story but I had someone once tell me if their child refused to eat they would save the leftovers and serve it to them until they ate it.

We've tried that as well, but it doesn't work well since bedtime is less than an hour after dinner ends. So they don't get hungry enough to eat again before bed.
Ugh. Kids are hard.

charlestonchew · December 2017

@suchaglencoco oh I even meant, hungry for breakfast? Here's your chicken breast you wouldn't eat.

suchaglencoco · December 2017

@charlestonchew, they're too young yet to understand that breakfast is what dinner was.
We will eventually be more strict with food, but DD is legit 0 percentile for weight. So some nights she just needs to eat.

lincbeesmom · December 2017

suchaglencoco said:

@charlestonchew, they're too young yet to understand that breakfast is what dinner was.
We will eventually be more strict with food, but DD is legit 0 percentile for weight. So some nights she just needs to eat.

That’s one of the reasons I stress about it. He’s always been at or below the 10th percentile for weight and he’s extremely active so I always worry that he’s too small. He seems to be going through a growth spurt and he’s wearing 4T clothes so I think I just need to relax.

He also must have sensed my stress because he just polished off 3 slices of pizza haha

lincbeesmom · December 2017

I wish we were on fb so I could share this picture I took of him eating haha

Ceridwen77 · December 2017

@suchaglencoco she just turned 2 in November. She is a good eater, so I don’t have percentiles to watch. I’m sure that would cause me to just feed her whatever she wanted. I’d be too anxious not to. She has never woken up in the middle of the night hungry after not eating dinner. She will always eat a good breakfast in the morning though (usually egg, toast and fruit or plain Cheerios with milk and fruit).

charlestonchew · December 2017

@suchaglencoco I understand. I definitely didn't mean that you should do that specifically. All kids are different and that parent that I was talking to must have felt that was the most appropriate discipline for their child.

dem068a · December 2017

My almost 2 year old had four munchkins from Dunkin’ Donuts and apple sauce for dinner the other night. Then another night he had chicken, pasta and broccoli. You win some, you lose some

suchaglencoco · December 2017

@lincbeesmom, that happens all the time! I'll tell DH "your kid wouldn't do this all day" and then boom, they'll do it to prove me wrong.

@Ceridwen77, that's great. Maybe we should try the eat this or nothing again sometime soon. It's just such a hard line to figure out "are they old/mature enough to understand this?"

@charlestonchew, no worries. It's always good to try and bring up new ideas to other parents since it is all different for each child.

nanifrog · December 2017

@suchaglencoco we also make dinner and if someone won't eat she will be hungry. DD2 often skips dinner, which we don't like. 1st first, we were giving her anything else at 2am just so we child go back to sleep. Then I started re-heating her leftovers and after 2 times, she's staying asleep. I don't bring it back out if it's breakfast though.

We also have a rule that you have to try 1 bite of something even if it doesn't look great. I have no tolerance for picky eaters, but I do think everyone is allowed to have a couple of things they don't like. Unfortunately, the result is that we all have different things that fall into that category.

Finally, I'll let them put ketchup on anything. Some of the combos are gross, but they'll eat it. I don't love the sugar side of it, but I think it's better than other options.

suchaglencoco · December 2017

@nanifrog, we've tried ketchup, bbq, ranch- neither kid will get into anything enough to make them eat it. Or they just lick it off and redip.

sandbar517 · December 2017

@ceridwen77 my girls were like that, too, until recently (they're 3.5 now). They were always really good eaters, and now they just don't eat a lot of anything. They always eat a lot of fruit, but will eat the hell out of some pepperoni and pickles, too. And I'm with @dem068a, sometimes they eat nothing, sometimes they eat really well. I've just tried to stop stressing too much about it. I definitely don't make them a separate meal, I just agree with @mileswithmyles that since being pregnant, I haven't had much of an appetite either, so sometimes all I want is chips and salsa, or cereal, too (I guess I'm guilty of that not pregnant, too). I don't want people to think I just let them eat whatever they want whenever they want it, I'm definitely more strict than that! And, they're also 3.5 and still wearing 2T clothes, so I'm kinda with @suchaglencoco on this, too, that sometimes I'm more worried about them eating anything than what they're eating, if that makes sense.

nanifrog · December 2017

Yeah, we've had the "I'll just eat my ketchup with a spoon" situation. I give it to them in small portions. If you only eat ketchup, you don't get more until you eat other food.

We also give food magical names and tell them the good things it does for them. Stuff like how spinach builds strong muscles. So between bites my 4 year old has us check how strong she's getting. We can things turtle soup or dinosaur snacks. Whatever fun name...to a toddler.

theletlers · December 2017

@suchaglencoco DS is usually a decent eater with a few foods he just doesn't like which is okay. But I did have to start a rule of no snacks after about 4:30 in the afternoon. We usually eat dinner between 6 and 6:30 and that actually helped a lot. He could have water in between but no other snacks.
I also put ground flax seeds in a shaker and let DS put "sprinkles" on everything. Sometimes if I'm trying something new too I just put a little in a bowl for me or DH and then say it's momma or dadda's food but if he asks he can try a bite. That can usually prompt him to want his own bowl too. Or letting him pick which plate or bowl he is having.

gildah · December 2017

There’s a bowl of free lollipops at my children’s swim school. My 2 year old son runs over there and grabs lollipop after lollipop. Yesterday he ate 4 I think? I just pretend not to notice. I’m out of f*cks to give. Taking four kids swimming class in 20 degree weather is effing stressful. If lollipops keep DS entertained, so be it.

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