Birth Plans ~ Where to start

BurlapandLace · November 2017

Alright ladies!

We are all pregnant, and all these babies all have to come out one way or another sooner than some of us may be ready to accept.

So! Let’s talk birth, shall we? The topics of different kinds of birth, different intervention options, types of care providers, etc have come up a handful of times in different threads around the board. So I figured it would be good to have a dedicated thread for people to start asking questions, getting answers and flushing out ideas and opinions so we can all better help each other learn about all the differences in birth so some can make informed decisions on how they *wish* to birth.

Hospital birth? Birth center? Home birth? Unassisted? Natural? Epidural? VBAC? Repeat Cesarean? Hypnobirthing? Bradley Method? OBGYN? Medical practice Midwife? Independent midwife? With so many options out there, it can be a bit overwhelming to try and figure out what you *hope* your birth to be. So let’s chat and see if we can help each other come up with some answers for ourselves

*I use the words wish and hope since birth is inherently unpredictable and the end result may not be what we had initially hoped for. But being prepared and knowing what you want and how to advocate for it will help *most* of us achieve the best birth for ourselves.

Fire away ladies!

fulcher_mama · November 2017

This is my 5th pregnancy but will be our 4th child.
First child was induced and had an epidural. All was fine until the epidural wore off. Still, it was fine.
Second, also induced and the epidural made my heart rate drop dangerously low and they had to give me something to bring it back up.
Third, went into labor naturally. I tried to hold off and not get an epidural but I was in so much pain by the time we go to the hospital, that I changed my mind and got the epidural. Regretted it instantly. It pushed all the pain to my tail bone and made my heart rate jump into the 160s. My heart rate didn't drop until they took the epidural out.

So this time, I really want to stick with the no epidural thing. But I'm really scared.

Has anyone gone without an epidural and what are the best positions you've tried to keep the pressure off of your back?

bkrahn · November 2017

@fulcher_mama for me, the epidural was the only thing that kept pressure off of my back. I ONLY had back labor with DD, which was absolute hell. I felt nearly nothing in the front. After 30 hours of intense labor, and dealing with high blood pressure (thus dealing with constant monitoring of babys heart rate) I opted for the epidural which was pure heaven. Took a 6 hour nap until I was ready to push. My nurse let the epidural wear off a bit for pushing so I was able to still feel my contractions. I really wanted to go drug free.. but honestly, my body was in so much shock after 30 hours that my body stopped progressing all together. I was stuck at 7cm for hours. The epidural helped me relax, and before I knew it I was at 10 cm.

idk, I have so much respect and admiration for women who can go completely drug free. I would love to try for that this time again.. but if my labor is anything like last time (36+ hours) I'll be requesting the drugs a lot sooner. I plan on just going in with a complete open mind, and take it as it comes.

ffw0617 · November 2017

I have 3 huge fibroids (at this point all 3 are bigger than the baby right now). One is near the exit, so if that one grows anymore we'll have a C section bc it'll be blocking some of the path out which can be dangerous for a baby. Otherwise I'd like a drug free vaginal birth. There is a plus to the c section though, she says she'll take out the fibroid while in there. They'll likely grow back over time (my mom has one the size of a grapefruit, they told her to get a partial hysterectomy years ago and she refused now its too big to safely remove). But that'll buy me some space for baby #2, which right now will be the last one.

catlady1215 · November 2017

I doubt I'll have much info to give you ladies in this post. My first was a long, failed, induction. So I'll be doing a repeat csection. I have absolutely NO interest to do that again.

Buuut what I wanted to say is that I give anyone that considers drug free birth so much credit!!

sabby2 · November 2017

STM

Just the basics, do what needs to be done to keep me and baby safe.

I likely will not go with an epidural this time because last time I felt like I couldn't tell at all how or when to push. That got exhausting after 2 hours.

I would likely be willing to have iv pain meds and possibly nitrous oxide but want to research that more.

I want to breast feed. I want baby to get a paci. I want DH only in the room. I want DH to cut the cord (vaginal birth or csection). Give my baby his or her vitamin k shot.

Last time I labored until I felt I couldn't take it anymore. Midwife said put the epidural in and check her. I was 9 cm so I honestly wish I would have gone without.

dinodna3 · November 2017

Both my births were epidural free for no other reason than my fear of a shot in my spine was greater than the pain. They were both sunny side up and therefore I had back labor.

So with my first I was in labor for about 20 hours and I stalled at 6cm. They gave me pitocin and some sort of IV pain killer. Took another 6 hours or so but she finally came out face up and startled DH. I had to wear the baby heart rate monitor but I labored on my hands and knees, on a birth ball and standing. They nurses were super nice about it and didn’t try and fight me over any on the positions I labor in.

With my son, I went into labor at Target while we were shopping for a shelving unit for our outdoor storage room. I put that sucker together through my contractions (the hammering was quite therapeutic) and finally got to the point I couldn’t handle it. My parents picked up DD and we got to the hospital and DS was born 15 mins later. I didn’t even get to change out of my dress.

They were both born a 38+5 and both weighed 8#3oz.

ETA: My plan for this one is to labor at home again and maybe go to the hospital a bit earlier than last time.

katie121209 · November 2017

@catlady1215 I also had a 2 day failed induction at 41 weeks with GD. She started to go into distress so it was emergency c-section. As mentioned in the questions thread I'm so scared of another c-section bc of the botched pain control in the middle. The doctors in my practice say I'm not a candidate for VBAC and honestly I don't think I would want to try, because experiencing all those contractions and then still having a c-section sucked. I had to get an epidural really fast. Apparently pitocin contractions start out super painful and I was just sitting there crying. I commend you all who want to go all natural!!

BurlapandLace · November 2017

DS was a planned home birth.

For a few weeks before the 34 week mark, my midwife had suspicion that he was breach. At 34 weeks and change, we had an ultrasound to confirm and he was found to be frank breach (this was on Saturday morning). We made a plan with my midwife to make acupuncture and chiropractic appointments on Monday when those offices opened - and in the mean time I was doing positions on the spinning babies website. Basically we went into full “do everything we can to get baby to turn naturally” mode. And planned to go see a certain doctor at 37 weeks to perform an external version if we weren’t able to get him to turn on our own. Sunday afternoon I had my maternity photos taken. And at 12:30 that night/the next morning I was woken to contractions coming less than 10 minutes apart for over an hour. Preterm labor at 34 weeks and change. Called my midwife and headed into L&D at the hospital. They confirmed I was in preterm labor and that baby was breach and that if we couldn’t stop labor, he would be born via cesarean section. In a crazy set of circumstances, the doctor that we had planned to go see in a couple weeks was the doctor on call at the hospital that night (she is never ever on call and was only there that night covering for someone else). So we spoke to her and she agreed to perform the external version. We had to agree to an emergency c-section if DS did not handle the version well and went into distress. But if we didn’t get him turned and labor continued, I would have had a c-section anyways. So I agreed and she was able to successfully spin him with the version. Once he was in the correct position, my contractions became irregular and less frequent and we eventually figured out I had kidney stones and that was irritating my uterus. So I decided to go home and pass the stones on my own, since we knew it could take days. I was on “home rest” until I got baby to term at 37 weeks. Until then, I was taking a lot of natural supplements to keep my uterus calm in the mean time. Over the next 10 days, I passed two kidney stones. Literally the most miserable, painful experience of my life (I was pregnant and obviously tried to do it with as little medication as possible). But once the stones passed, all was good and I was able to take my pregnancy to term.

At 39 weeks and one day, I woke up to my water breaking at 7:30am. Contractions started at about 9:30am and my son was born in an at home (mostly) water birth at 4:02pm. It was absolutely amazing.

Home birth for a first birth wasn’t a decision I made lightly. But I did a ton of research on the “cascade of interventions” and read a ton of birth stories and I decided my best bet for ME for having the birth I wanted was to be out of hospital. Had we had a birth center near us, I probably would have birthed at the birth center. But we didn’t, so I opted for home birth. We took a very thorough birth class (1.5 hours a week for 10 weeks) that covered different births (hospital, home, etc), different types of interventions and their pros and cons, and may different pain coping techniques among many other things. I feel that class helped me be prepared in knowing what to expect and having many tools in my bag to pull from in labor. Without such a class, I don’t think I would have been as prepared. I highly recommend such a class to everyone.

We are planning a home birth again for this one. After I gave birth to DS, my midwife asked me if kidney stones or natural birth hurt more and I can tell you with 100% certainty that kidney stones we way worse. And I think if you want a natural birth and you prepare yourself for one, you are capable of having one. Obviously birth is inherently unpredictable and I know medical interventions exist for a reason and I am not against them - I consented to a c-section if necessary with DS and would do the same again if need be. But we are definitely planning on going the all natural route at home again this time.

BurlapandLace · November 2017

To touch on @katie121209 point - pitocin contractions are very painful and are not comparable to natural contractions. Natural contractions are like a mountain - they start out at the bottom, they slowly peak and then they go back down. There are breaks between them. pitocin contractions are more like a plain than a mountain - they rise very abruptly and they have a very loooooooong top and they don’t have very long breaks, if any between them.

This is is so say that if you tried to labor through pitocin contractions without an epidural and think you wouldn’t be able to handle natural contractions without an epidural, that’s not a fair comparison, and you probably can, if you want to

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@BurlapandLace if you can believe it, my mom's water broke when she was 42 weeks pregnant with me, but she didn't progress on her own at all, so the doctors put her on pitocin for 18 hours and didn't tell her an epidural was an option (this was the 80s in a hippie dippie bay area location, and with no internet and few friends with kids my mom was super clueless). When she told me that as an adult, I was like, GIRL WTF WHY! She didn't even know how crazy it was that she had to go through that until I gave her a bunch of isht to read. (And yes, she did end up with a c-section because duh at that point.)

If nothing else, I know I do not want my mom's experience, lol.

BurlapandLace · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 ~ Dang! When I hear of women doing pitocin without an epidural I am always in awe. Like DANG! That’s hard core. No thanks!

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@BurlapandLace the craziest thing was they wouldn't let her get out of bed at all, so 18 hours on pitocin strapped on her back to a bed. She didn't progress past 1cm (duh), and she had no idea there was any other way of doing things. But these hippie doctors didn't want her to get a c-section, which is great and all, but like, let the lady use gravity since she has no epidural! (BTW, I say hippie lovingly; my parents went to art school in San Francisco in the 60s, they are very much hippies themselves.)

momlyfe29 · November 2017

I was induced at 39 weeks because of preeclampsia. Luckily they didn’t use pitocin, they used some little pill they put on your cervix to kick start and soften your cervix (I can’t remember what it’s called). I went as far as I could without and epidural, but man my life was so much better once I got that sucker. I was deathly afraid of getting it before I went into labor, but I was in so much pain I didn’t even care they were sticking a needle In my spine. My epidural was perfect. I could still feel the pressure of my contractions, but no pain. It relaxed me enough that I could progress and once I was ready to push I pushed for 10 minites, but had to stop to wait 20 minutes for the doctor (eyeroll).

Ill be going to the hospital again for this birth and I 100% will be getting the epidural again because Im a chicken. Hopefully it goes as smooth as last time! But props to the mommas who do it without an pain meds!!

fitzandgiggles · November 2017

DS1 was an induction due to crazy hypertension. I was given cervadil first, with no progress after 12 hours so my midwife started me on a low but progressive drip of pitocin. I labored for about 12 hours without an epidural, and the closer I got to transition the more freaked my ex husband got. My BP got to a sustained 189/112 and he coaxed me into trying for an epidural (I had been steadfast against it, but by this point I legit thought I was dying). The anesthesiologist tried for over an hour and poked my spine at least 5 times but I just don't have the space for an epidural. I spent all of transition in the "c" position trying to get an epidural. He finally gave up when I started pushing involuntarily

I ended up pushing for like 5 minutes and then DS was born.

DS2 was much easier, I went into labor at home at 41 weeks, dealt with it until I could no longer sit down then we rushed to the hospital and he was born within 45 minutes of arriving.

Now, with these twins I'm a little scared. My midwife says so long as baby A isn't breach I have a good shot at vaginal birth, but there's a very real chance I'll need a c-sec. With my inability to get an epidural I'm terrified I'll be put under general if I need a c-sec and not get to experience their birth

katykat03 · November 2017

With DD I was induced due to high BP/borderline preeclampsia at 37+5. They started pitocin at 8:30, by 9:30ish I needed the epidural (I have no pain tolerance) and she was born at 4:48 after about 10 mins of pushing. The L & D nurses said I probably would have gone into labor myself by the weekend.

Who knows what will happen this time around. I’ll definitely do the epidural because I don’t do pain well.

catlady1215 · November 2017

@katie121209 I had my induction at 39 wks cause GD and being on insulin. They tried cervidil at midnight. No change by AM. Pitocin the whole next day... barely any contractions. Cytotec the next night at midnight. Woke up to NO change again. My cervix was closed shut like a steel trap door still after all of that. They gave me pitocin again the next AM. But by noon (and me begging) they decided by body wasn't going to do it and she called it a failed. I didn't go for my section till about 8pm cause of other emergencies that came in. They weren't in any rush to do mine. So i didn't get my spinal till I was in the OR. And I'll tell you that I was numb before they even laid me down, they had to help me or I was going to fall lol. So I feel like planned out csections would have less chances for things like that to happen.... I mean I'm not a doctor but that's what I tell myself, cause they're not in this big rush etc. So I wouldn't worry to much!
im more scared for the recovery room. I pretty much blacked out. Had to hand the baby off and I couldn't like move. I felt/saw them moving me around to clean me up. But I couldn't respond back really. No one seemed concerned! I felt so sooo drugged. I don't know if it was the last pain Med they said they were giving me at the end? Or if it was the fact I had so many meds in my body for 48 hrs and all I ate the whole time was half a turkey sandwich and a bag of m&ms one night.... and being an insulin dependent patient.

MaraJeanily · November 2017

I was induced at 39 weeks with DS due to preeclampsia. They did the thing where they basically inflate a balloon to open you up. (I don't remember what that's called... sorry.) They started that at 6:30 PM, and I had an epidural around 11pm I think. I got to 6cm when they realized DS was stuck and was not dropping. He was born at 11:13 AM via emergency c section.

This time around we're going for a repeat c section. I'm hoping that being prepared for it and not being in labor for 17 hours will make it a little easier. Not that birth is easy at all, but after laboring all night my body went crazy when they did the c section. Dr says they'll do that around 39 weeks, as long as baby doesn't try to come out sooner than that.

I also plan to talk to Dr next appointment about what they will do if baby decides to come early. I'm not opposed to trying for a vbac in that situation, but I just want to be prepared for whatever could happen.

katie121209 · November 2017

@catlady1215 I think you are right that a planned c section should go better. I hear you on the recovery. When I was screaming in the Or they kept pumping more pain meds in, which pretty much didn't take effect until it was over. By then they had to remind me to breath. I was so doped and I said some things to the nurses I would normally never say yikes!!
-Also, what's our likelihood of getting GD again lol. They are going to test me at 16 weeks. I'm trying to be healthy but at the same time I want to eat some stuff that I might not be able to have soon!!

marcus7676 · November 2017

I went into labor at work trying to finalize spreadsheets for an upcoming trial. I finally went home at 4 pm and active labor started around 6. I had solely back labor and my contractions were never 5:1:1. They were always closer together (every 2-3 minutes). I went to the hospital at 8 at 4cm and by 8:45, I was 8cm. My water broke around 9pm, but I didn't progress. Because my contractions were on top of each other, I asked for an epidural. What I didn't realize, was I was in transition at that time. The epidural took over 30 minutes (they told me it would take 7) and was horrendous to sit through during transition. The epidural didn't work so I needed several boosters. By the time it worked, my contractions were constant (like one continual contraction for 15+ minutes) and DS was having heart decels due to the stress. They had to give me something to actually stop my contractions. Despite having planned a midwife birth, the heart decels brought in two OBs, who insisted on vacuum delivery or emergency section. After one pull on the vacuum, DS popped out (hand above his head) on his own - - one doctor was turned around unprepared and the other had to drop the vacuum to catch him. I tore horribly and ended up needing a laser revision months later. DS was ultimately born on his due date.

I read prior to birth that dates can help women have shorter labor, head to the hospital with their water intact, etc. I'm not eating dates this time. My OB warned me yesterday that this labor will be much quicker (mine was only about 12-14 hours, including the time in which they stopped my labor from progressing) and that I should go to the hospital early on given how fast I progressed from 4cm-8cm last time.

I'm debating changing hospitals simply to have the benefit of nitrous oxide (my current hospital is the only one in the city that still does not offer it). I'm still hesitant on the epidural due to my bad experience (I ultimately couldn't feel anything after it didn't work for a while).

marcus7676 · November 2017

Also, I meant to add that while it is so important to be knowledgable (and have your SO be knowledgable) about birth and all of the different interventions / coping methods, etc., everyone's birth is different. Please do not get caught up in the need to have a "perfect" birth - birth is messy, it cannot be planned for, and ultimately, you need to do what's best for you and the baby (whether that is a vacuum, episiotomy, epidural or section). So many moms in my last BMB have regrets or are tramatized by things that happened during their LOs birth. Be knowledgeable, but flexible. Because ultimately, there is nothing (or at least very little) about birth in your control.

catlady1215 · November 2017

@katie121209 oh yikes! the recovery room stuff is kinda why i want to ask if i can be scheduled at night. so I can then sleep off the yuck again till the morning.. not deal with visitors all day. that helped!
I'm not to sure what the chances are, but I'm praying not to lol. I'm suppose to do the 1 hour at 16 weeks also. and i feel you!! at the moment I'm begging my body to just love sauce (for pasta), pizza and chocolate again before than so I can indulge alittle bit just incase! waaaah, but its not cooperating. following that diet and doing injections was rough for just that long, I can't even imagine doing it for more than half the pregnancy. i'll cry. it did help my weight gain though! lol

krash_ · November 2017

So FTM here. I have my general plan for what I do and don't want. I want to avoid pitocin, I would like to do it without an epidural but I want to keep the option on the table and I do not want an episiotomy. I want to be able to labor in a tub, on a ball, on all four, literally any way that feels comfortable and I doubt that will be on my back in a bed.

I'm not sure if I will hire a doula yet. The practice I am going through has OB's and Midwives but I would just end up with whomever is on call. I am not opposed to just having who is on call but I know their styles can vary on how much liberty they give you, how quick they are to push meds, or how "c-section happy" they are.

I feel like in my case I have to prepare myself for every possibility so that I am not in fear. If I am fearful of birth I know I will clam up and in turn so will my cervix.

I am going to look into the Bradley Method, but what other birth classes or resources did you use that really helped? I have watched The Business of Being Born, which I think is what lead me down the path I am on right now. I also have started reading Ina May's.

fitzandgiggles · November 2017

@krashke Ina May's book was a life changer for me. I even got to meet her at a conference while I was pregnant with DS2. She's a phenomenal human being!

knitsandgiggles · November 2017

So much yes to that @marcus7676. After two inductions (the first being nightmarish and the second being 5 hours, start to finish), I'm really just focusing on being knowledgeable and flexible. It is reassuring to have a plan, but things can change dramatically over the course of a pregnancy and even just hours in delivery. There is only so much one can control in that situation.

sunshineandwhiskey · November 2017

I am so torn as to what to do. DD was a scheduled c-section due to frank breech. I am a great candidate for a VBAC, but honestly, I don't know if I want to attempt one. Labor/delivery terrifies me, and my c-section recovery went so much better than I had ever hoped. Besides the pain meds in the hospital, I didn't even need to take any at home. But then part of me is torn with never knowing what labor is like. Ugh.

fantasticmrsfox · November 2017

As a third time mom I would recommend to anyone who is going to try to do it without an epidural to take a natural birthing class! With DS1 I made it to 5cm before getting an epi that didn’t fully work because I didn’t have any techniques for dealing with the pain.

With DS2 I labored at home in the shower till I was at 5cm then went in to the hospital and got in the shower there till I was at 9cm. It helped so much. After that DH Doing counterpressure on my back helped, but I ended up getting an epidural because they told me I was regressing back to 8cm (???). But that blessed epidural took away the pain completely and I swear I was smiling while pushing.

This time ill probably labor at home as long as possible again, but might get the epidural a bit earlier too. I’ll play it by ear.

MoonOverGoldsboro · November 2017

I prepared for a med-free vaginal birth with my first, and I surprised myself with how totally calm I felt about it. I'm a person who likes to have information, and doing the prep work really made me feel excited and empowered to attempt this thing. My husband and I had all these plans about how we'd work as team, particularly thanks to our doula, who was a great prenatal coach/cheerleader. Like others have said before--you can never know how your birth will go, but I think it pays to be informed and fully prepare for the kind of birth you do want. I found it to be a very positive feminist experience, if that makes sense. I loved Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and would also recommend.

Ultimately, at 35 weeks, I had a precipitous labor (which is defined as labor/delivery that takes place in 3 hours or less). My water broke at 5 pm, and my son was born at 7:20 pm. I got that med-free birth I wanted, but everything else was a complete clusterf*ck. I was home alone almost the whole time, and I had to call an ambulance to get me to hospital, because I felt the unstoppable urge to push. My husband arrived home from work just in time to hop in the back of the ambulance with me.

I am about a thousand times more nervous for labor with this one, because I'm worried about how I'm ever going to get to the hospital in time, especially now that I have a kid at home that I don't really want to tote along in the back of an ambulance. I'll be getting progesterone shots from weeks 16-36 to help prevent pre-term labor, but that won't have any effect on the length of labor once it starts. Maybe I'll just camp out outside the hospital from week 36 onward?! Seriously, though, this anxiety is real, and I do worry about how I'm going to manage it as I get further along.

krash_ · November 2017

Q: for those that labored at home...how long did you stay home? When did you know you had to go to the hospital? Did your water break at home?

I would like to labor at home but I'm under the impression that as soon as your water breaks you should be in the hospital because there is no longer a sterile environment for babe.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

yeah, jumping off @krashke, what are the scenarios where generally you MUST go to the hospital vs scenarios where you might want to go to the hospital but they might turn you away?

BurlapandLace · November 2017

@krashke - as long as you aren’t introducing things into the environment (putting things up your vagina) then it is still safe

This is why most care providers like to limit vaginal checks after the water has broken.

I mean if you hit like 24 hours with waters broken and nothing is happening, that starts to be a different story. But you definitely don’t have to go in as soon as your water breaks. It was 2 hours after my water broke before I even started having contractions

marcus7676 · November 2017

@krashke If you are Strep B positive and your water breaks, you need to head to the hospital to start antibiotics. I think 24 hours post-water breaking is typically when you need to be at the hospital.

My midwife made me stay at home until I couldn't talk through contractions. As I said previously, my contractions never were 5 minutes apart, which is typically the indicator of going to the hospital. I started at 2-3 minutes apart, increased to 4 and then went back down. I ultimately went in when they were 2:30 apart, lasting for a minute and I couldn't talk / was vocalizing through contractions. My water didn't break until later that night.

Any birth class you take will talk to you about how long to stay at home, what signs to look for, etc. Plus, when you go into labor, you will be calling your doctor / midwife to check in. I called every hour or two until I was told to go in.

dinodna3 · November 2017

I labored at home until I couldn’t speak through the contractions. My water never broke and was done for me once I got to the hospital.

aharv77 · November 2017

With DD, I was induced at 39+2 due to the onset of preeclampsia symptoms (high BP mostly). I had my water broken and pitocin started at 7 AM. I made great progress until about noon when contractions started getting stronger. I was offered stadol or an epidural. Since things had been going so smoothly, I opted for the stadol which was an awful choice for me. The only affect it had on me was making me feel drunk and out of it. After that wore off, I was 7cm and contractions were still very intense and I asked for an epidural. From what nurses said, I had the epidural as late as I possibly could have. The epidural was a LIFESAVER. I was able to feel all of my contractions but without pain. When it was time, I spent 20 minutes pushing and DD arrived at 4:29 PM!

This time around, I *hope* to avoid high BP & preeclampsia at the end and allow my body to go into labor on its own. I also plan to get an epidural earlier in the labor process. I also hope for another fairly "short" birthing process!

May14th2011 · November 2017

My water broke at 39 weeks with my daughter, but contractions never started. They ended up giving me pitocin to get me started but my body never figured out what to do. Ended up with an emergency csection to save baby (so scary!). I had a csection with my son, so I'll have another this time.
I'm at a new hospital this time though, so I'll find out their policies before I get close to having baby. If there is anything I don't like, I'll see what I can do about changing it.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@marcus7676 I have a question based on your specific experience. If you could go back in time and know that you and baby would survive either scenario, would you still opt for the vacuum assisted delivery since you tore badly? Or would you have done the emergency c section?

(I am not super nervous about minor tearing, but I am irrationally very very nervous about major tearing.)

marcus7676 · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 hands down I would do it again. An emergency section is so much more invasive. Most women tear. Second degree is the most common. I had a bad third degree. After my revision, I healed fine and without knowing, the nurse practitioner said she would have had no idea. I had no idea I tore until the next day. Recovery sucked (I couldn’t walk down the block for weeks and was limited on stairs) and wasn’t cleared for anything (exercise, sex, baths) until 12 weeks (most women are cleared at six). I’m absolutely convinced the speed of DS’s delivery, combined with the epidural drugs, impacted BFing. But without a doubt, I would do it again.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@marcus7676 That's good to hear. I think my fear with tearing badly is the unknown/unfamiliar. Although all the women in my family tried very hard to have vaginal births (v long labors), they all had c-sections (mom, aunt, MIL 4x, SIL, cousin, etc.) so none of them have any experience with what can happen with vaginal birth (and for some reason none of them did any research into it beforehand). I'm really hoping I can have a vaginal birth... just have to get over the fear of the unknown!

BurlapandLace · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 ~ I didn’t tear at all with DS (7lbs11oz). I didn’t have any interventions though, so who knows what would have happened if he needed to be vacuum assisted out or anything. It helped that I could feel everything and was able to go slowly and allow myself to stretch. I got to a point where I was on a roll and just wanted to push through the pain and my midwife reminded me to be patient and I’m glad she did.

Tearing is very normal though and usually NBD. But I understand the fear. You are pushing something the size of a watermelon
out if a home much smaller. Just remember your body was designed to do this, and it does stretch

TravelingCouple · November 2017

I had a birth plan with DS and it was definitely helpful to plan out what we hoped for. Of course, as PP have said, it's all hope and wish, there's so much that is unknown until after the fact.

I had a completely med-free birth with DS and I give credit to a few things that I think helped me immensely through his labor and delivery. We used a Doula and her services both before and during labor were absolutely priceless. DH was a great birthing coach, but it was so so helpful to have two people in the room that I knew were there to help me get through it. I had been going to acupuncture leading up the delivery, and my acupuncturist taught me, DH and our Doula some acupressure points to help induce labor when the time came, and then to ease pain throughout each stage. I had all back labor and those back pressure points helped so so much. I don't think I could've done it med free without that. Also, I did hypnobabies for months leading up to labor and used it during delivery and that helped a lot too. I ended up taking them out of my ears for pushing, but it was really helpful for every stage leading up to that. I drank Red Raspberry Leaf tea in the weeks prior to going into labor, like 3-4 cups daily, which is supposed to help tone the uterus in preparation for labor. Who knows if it helped, but I'll definitely be doing it again!

RE tearing: DS was 8lbs 1oz and I tore with him pretty darn bad. I had zero pain meds and I didn't feel the tear at all. After he was out, they numbed the area to stitch me back up, but since he was on my chest, I barely paid attention and didn't really care what they were doing down there. I was worried about tearing prior to giving birth too but the worst part of it was the recovery afterward. For any kind of birth I would say take some fiber like Metamucil or something like it to help make going to the bathroom after birth a lot easier.

I plan to have a similar plan to the one I used for DS' delivery, and all I can do is hope it goes as smoothly as his did. Every stage of parenthood is one big ol' question mark but all we can do is prep the best we can!

fantasticmrsfox · November 2017

@krashke also remember most women’s water doesn’t break on its own. Most of the time the break it for you at the hospital. I’d say stay at home until you can’t sit still anymore. With my first I went in right away and labored at the hospital for 21 hours. With DS2 I waited at home then only was at the hospital 6 hours before giving birth.

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