FFFC 11/10

cups4 · November 2017

Not always flame free...

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cups4 · November 2017

I have an android so I don't have itunes. I went to WalMart before work (Target wasn't open yet) to buy the new Taylor Swift album that was released at midnight. I didn't see it and had to ask a woman (mortifying) and they didn't even have it out yet.

charlestonchew · November 2017

I hate Taylor Swift. Like even her personality. I dont trust "perfect" celebrities who seem to do no wrong.

cups4 · November 2017

@charlestonchew I get that, but it seems this past year she has done nothing but wrong. I like catchy songs that I can relate and think about my husband when I sing them.

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charlestonchew · November 2017

cups4 said:

@charlestonchew I get that, but it seems this past year she has done nothing but wrong. I like catchy songs that I can relate and think about my husband when I sing them.

That's why I much prefer Katy Perry. I like her as a person cause she seems more real and her songs are much more diverse and has a lot of empowerment songs.

charlestonchew · November 2017

I've had 3 days off and all I've done is swept the floor. I'll try to mop today. Meh.

abhphilly · November 2017

FFFC: I'm the first to say that the sex of my child won't matter to me, and I'm not gonna buy all blue/pink whatever or conform to gender stereotypes with toys and such...but I'm still really hoping we find out the sex at our 16 week ultrasound next week so I can pick out a rug for the nursery while there are Black Friday sales. It shouldn't matter, but some that I like seem so "girly." Ugh, I hate me.

sandbar517 · November 2017

I'm pretty "meh" about both, but I prefer Taylor Swift over Katy Perry.
Mine for today might stir things up a bit. I find it...amusing? strange? hypocritical? not sure of the adjective I'm looking for, so I'll just say amusing since that's the least offensive. I find it amusing that people on the bump (myself included) are super quick to jump down people's throats and flame them for using gender instead of sex when talking about their unborn or newborn babies because gender is a subjective, fluid trait that cannot be decided for someone else. However, when most of us find out if our babies are girls or boys, we automatically assign them gender specific names, and have nursery themes of blue, cars/trucks, sports, or astronauts/space for boys and pink/purple, ruffles/lace, and bunnies/butterflies for girls. So while we're going the right direction in getting rid of gender stereotypes, we are still in a lot of ways "assigning" a gender for our kids anyway.

charlestonchew · November 2017

@sandbar517 I 100% agree and actually hate boy/girl specific items and clothing. I LOVE gender neutral things and will continue to buy them even after I know what I'm having. I actually hate gender conformity for children as they're growing up and won't give a shit if my boy wants to wear a bow or a dress or play with dolls or vice versa. (Although I may discourage that from being worn to school because society is cruel). I've considered not sharing the sex with others because I don't want to be flooded with pink bows or sports items.

abhphilly · November 2017

@charlestonchew We're not sharing the sex with anyone for that reason. We're going to find out, mainly to narrow down names (and apparently pick out a rug), but also because it's just another part of the anatomy and it seems weird to me to be like "tell me about the lungs and kidneys and everything, but just skip that one body part."

@sandbar517 Agreed. That's why I hate me right now

.

mileswithmyles · November 2017

I went to the Starbucks BOGO yesterday afternoon and bought and drank both drinks for myself.

I totally plan what what to wear to the doctor based on how heavy it is. I wore ballet flats instead of boots yesterday for that reason.

fraufarbissina · November 2017

I hate Katy Perry!! I think her songs are so bad and the lyrics are so cringey. I'm ok with Taylor. I don't really like what I've heard of her new album so far but I'll give it a shot.

@sandbar517 I'm with you. I think in some ways things are getting worse.. baby girl things are getting more girly than they ever were (I have a girl so I can't speak about boys' stuff). I always hear older people saying that the baby clothes are so much cuter now than they were when their kids were young. And yeah maybe they are cute, but I never put my daughter in anything frilly or obnoxiously pink or girly.. I think it looks ridiculous. But it is a good thing that people are more aware of it so there's more of a demand for gender-neutral things and hopefully more companies start adjusting their products accordingly.

AFM, my boss is away this week so I've allowed myself to work from home 4 days instead of my normal 2. Yesterday I called in to a meeting from my bed. And not just sitting up nicely in bed. I was tucked under the covers with my head on the pillow.

cups4 · November 2017

@abhphilly apparently to pick out a rug lol

abhphilly · November 2017

@mileswithmyles I do the same thing! I also insist on taking my shoes off before getting on the scale.

sandbar517 · November 2017

I put that mainly because I'm guilty of it, too. My girls' room is baby blue and yellow, I've bought them tools and trucks, and don't care if they want to do "boy" things, but in the end I still gave them very obviously female names, dress them in dresses for special occasions and put bows in their hair. So that was my basic point. Even those of us who are socially progressive as far as gender goes, *usually* still assign our kids one way or another until they are old enough to decide for themselves, and I guess that's my actual FFFC-I don't have a problem with that. As a matter of fact, I read an article years ago about a couple who named their baby Storm and refused to tell anyone the baby's sex, except people like close relatives who were changing diapers and doctors who saw the genitalia, and to be perfectly honest, I found it a little strange, and thought it was overkill.

sparklingdiamond · November 2017

It annoys me when someone has a name that could be for either a girl or a boy. It's just NMS.

charlestonchew · November 2017

@sandbar517 I get what you're saying. Gender roles are probably always going to be a part of society and some of which boils down to biological (women take care of family, men hunt for food...I mean we are built differently for biological reasons.) As a progressive person its more important to advocate for acceptance of gender fluidity rather than trying to completely eliminate gender roles.

Ceridwen77 · November 2017

sandbar517 said:

I'm pretty "meh" about both, but I prefer Taylor Swift over Katy Perry.
Mine for today might stir things up a bit. I find it...amusing? strange? hypocritical? not sure of the adjective I'm looking for, so I'll just say amusing since that's the least offensive. I find it amusing that people on the bump (myself included) are super quick to jump down people's throats and flame them for using gender instead of sex when talking about their unborn or newborn babies because gender is a subjective, fluid trait that cannot be decided for someone else. However, when most of us find out if our babies are girls or boys, we automatically assign them gender specific names, and have nursery themes of blue, cars/trucks, sports, or astronauts/space for boys and pink/purple, ruffles/lace, and bunnies/butterflies for girls. So while we're going the right direction in getting rid of gender stereotypes, we are still in a lot of ways "assigning" a gender for our kids anyway.

I do gender specific names because if my child did change their gender identity they could also change their name. Wouldn’t the same argument apply that if I name my daughter a boys name I am trying to assign a male identity?

I completely agree with you on the stereotypical toys or themes. I am having a girl and am doing a space theme for her nursery. My daughter loves trucks and just got a ton of them for her birthday. Her room is Harry Potter themed. Kids should play with what they want and wear practical clothes in my opinion. I can’t stand when people stick huge bows on their newborn girls or dress them in ridiculous complicated outfits.

sandbar517 · November 2017

@charlestonchew Yes, thank you. I think that's basically what I'm trying to say. And along those lines, I think I'm also guilty of being much more accepting of girls breaking stereotypical gender roles than boys. If I have a son and he wants to wear dresses, I will be okay with it, but as you mentioned, it is seen in a MUCH more negative way than a girl playing with dinosaurs. And society as a whole is so obsessed with boys names for girls right now (even though I personally don't like the trend), but I'm sure any of us would be seriously side eyed for naming a boy Ashley. Even though it was originally a male name, and I happen to love it for a boy, I still probably wouldn't use it for that reason.

charlestonchew · November 2017

@sandbar517 I've always thought boys had it just as hard in different ways when it comes to gender roles. Women may not be taken seriously in male dominated fields but if males do something "girly" they're more at risk for even physical retaliation and are considered less of a man...told it's weak to cry...like what?

ETA and think about sexual assault. Men "can't be raped" so they hardly ever report it. WTF.

Tell me if this post needed a TW.

tincupchalice · November 2017

I know a male Ashley. /random.

My FFFC is related, I think it's kinda funny that people jump down other people's throats for saying "gender scan" or "gender reveal" rather than sex - but go right on to refer to their kid as boy or girl rather than male or female. If we're being technical about gender vs sex for the identification (to the point of flaming people), why are we not being technical about the rest of the terminology?

sandbar517 · November 2017

Yep, totally what I meant, too @tincupchalice. I DO however get angry when people refer to the anatomy scan as the gender scan OR sex scan. That's not the reason for the ultrasound, it's just a perk.

silverhope · November 2017

Katy Perry has done some weird stuff this year. She live-streamed her life for 24 hours to promote her album. I was gonna say that seems pretty narcissistic to think anyone would watch that, but then I realized I love the Kardashians (I don't watch, I just read about them online). So never mind.

And I really like cute girly clothes. If I have a girl, I would dress her as a dinosaur one day, but in a frilly pink tutu the next. I'm an engineer so I'm hoping if I have a daughter she will be into math/science and not being afraid to excel at what our stupid society deems masculine, but I think girl clothes are adorable.

ivyvines6 · November 2017

I’ve never been a huge fan of Taylor Swift anyway but my fandom of Katy Perry has dwindled over the past few years. I can’t really get behind anyone who uses cultural appropriation to further their brand.

sparklingdiamond · November 2017

I like Katy Perry's music, but not really a fan of her as a person. I don't really care about Taylor Swift.

onesmallcoconut · November 2017

Not a fan of TSwift and what I have heard from her lately feels like the songs were written to be performed by other artists. I think Gwen Stefani would completely blow her out of the water if she sang "Look what you made me do"

cups4 · November 2017

@onesmallcoconut oooh. I like that theory

theletlers · November 2017

Wow! It's amazing to me how many of you know both Taylor and Katy! KIDDING! Nah I just don't really follow any celebrities much so couldn't tell you even what they do outside of a few songs.
My DS absolutely loves the color pink. I think sometimes it bugs DH but he doesn't ever try and stop him. He prefers his purple sippy cup a lot of days and at the dentist last week he asked him what color toothbrush he wanted and DS said "hmmm (with his finger to his chin) PINK!" The dentist looked at me like, is that okay. It's a freaking toothbrush. Who cares what color it is!! I will say that I think as parents we do tend to go with the penis=male and vagina= female for clothing when they are little. But I don't really think that's all bad. I think when parents won't accept their child's choice when they are older is when it becomes a problem to me. I truly won't care if my kids are straight, gay, bi, transgender, or whatever other terms are out there as long as they are good people and have positive contributions to the world.

ivyvines6 · November 2017

The more I think about it the more narcissistic it is to try for a not so popular name for your kid. I was the only person I knew growing up named Ivy (until highschool) and I hated it.

DH was one of four Matthew’s in his grade so we have both ends of the spectrum. I want our LO’s to have common enough names that they’ll be able to find their name on a keychain (I’ve only ever found one in my entire existence) but not so common that they’ll have to go by Name Initial growing up.

This is might be better suited for a UO though...

ETA: I’m a little bitter today because we just found out a close friend of DH named his daughter Amelia and that was our number one pick, but DH won’t go for it now.

theletlers · November 2017

I forgot to add my own. I found out today that DH's husbands grandma not only paid about $5000 toward his cousin's wedding last week, but as their gift she is giving them a down payment for a house when they are ready. She also gave them a crap load of stuff at their shower. For DH and me she gave us a gift certificate for a couch to a local furniture shop in her town. It was an hour and a half away from where we lived. So we still had to pay the $150 for delivery. And then she gave us a card for our wedding and said since she gave us such a big shower gift it counted for both. I mean whatever. She also refuses to talk to us. And then complains that she never sees DS...wonder why...

silverhope · November 2017

@theletlers She sounds fun. At least you don't owe her anything

Don't have to go out of your way to see her.

sharkmama39 · November 2017

Piggy backing on what other have said and adding my own take. I strongly dislike when people push gender neutrality, and am much for, as someone called it, gender fluidity. If my kid wants to play with trucks, and barbies, and dinos, and paint their nails, have at it. Experience life the way you want.

I don't feel so strongly about clothes for babies before kids have their own likes and dislikes but once that happens and your kid wants to wear a tutu or a blaze and the monster machine shirt, let them.

Its all about being an individual.

suchaglencoco · November 2017

My fffc is most of the names on the baby name list are not my style at all. Not that there is anything wrong with them, they're not something I could ever ever imagine us naming our baby.

tacosandvirginmargaritas · November 2017

@suchaglencoco same!! I know my style and what I like isn't other people's style, but I think that's a good thing. I used to take some offense to it when I was naming my youngest daughter, but I got over that quick and I honestly don't care anymore. To each their own, otherwise everyone's children would all have the same names and what fun is that?

My FFFC - I hate when people post pictures of dead animals from hunting trips on facebook. Do I REALLY need to see a dead gutted deer hanging upside down in someone's garage? I wish there was a option it could be blurred. maybe this is more of an UO?

suchaglencoco · November 2017

@tacosandvirginmargaritas exactly. It's just so odd because my last bmb seemed to have more of the same style as me.

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