Weekly Questions w/o Nov 6

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

Amphibious22 · November 2017

I guess I'll start us off this week. I've heard so many different opinions about this one, but Rock n Play.. okay for sleeping overnight or no?

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

I have a question that @Amphibious22 just spurred. So I know some moms really like the RnP for sleep because their babies have reflux.... but okay, how long does it take you to realize your baby has reflux? Like... (::struggles to word this in a way that makes me sound less like a moron::) IDK, babies on their backs + reflux sounds like a crazy choking situation, right...? But obv, you'll try that first before anything else... right

ETA: next week's Product Spotlight is on all things sleep surfaces, so v soon opportunity to go in depth on all those products

sunshineandwhiskey · November 2017

@Amphibious22 officially - you are not supposed to use it for sleep over night. Unofficially - I would not have survived without it. DD used it until she was 3 months I believe.

momlyfe29 · November 2017

@Amphibious22 we used it for every nap when our son was new up until about 4 months old.

Austenista · November 2017

@amphibious22 okay. *pulls up chair* The RNP is a double edged sword. My son slept in it beautifully for the first part of his life until I was able to transition him to the crib. He didn’t like the very expensive halo bassinet I provided but he did like that dang RNP.

Now, no, it is not an ideal sleeping environment because back is best. If you can get LO to sleep on their back, 100% that is what needs to be done.

I think my mistake was to introduce that RNP in the first place because OF COURSE he liked that better. It cuddles a baby, is soft, soothing, etc. He really needed to be on his back though for obvious reasons.

So baby #2 I don’t think I’m going to use that magical RNP. It’s so hard to take away and not the safest. I’m thinking I want to try to go straight to a crib this time.

sunshineandwhiskey · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 DD has reflux. My main clue was once she got done feeding she would arch her back, throw her head back, and scream in pain. Spitting up a lot, constantly, is a sign too. You could hear some gurgling too and the snotttt. So much.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey so did you figure it out then before you had any close calls with sleep vomit?

(I just keep picturing those joke videos that pretend all babies are just drunk adults, and how drunk adults should never sleep on their backs, but babies HAVE to sleep on their backs! lol)

tammy574 · November 2017

Mine used the rock n play all the time and I wish they were safer for nighttime because it gets you so much more sleep and is reeeeaaaally hard to not use at night. Which I think most of us crack and do.

sunshineandwhiskey · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 we had some initial encounters while we still in the hospital so the nurses recommend we at least propped her crib mattress up on one side.I think I was so hyper vigilant anyway (SIDS scares the bejeezus outta me) that any little noise she made I was checking on her anyway. It is still a sound to this day that wakes me out of a dead sleep.

Amphibious22 · November 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey yeah that seems to be the general consensus. I think my sanity might end up winning out though.

@Austenista that's good to know. We might register for one just in case. Like you said, best case scenario, the baby is fine with sleeping in the crib.

catlady1215 · November 2017

@amphibious22 I was a huuuge RnP fan. DS slept in it every night till he was 5 months old. It was nice cause it was the only thing that fit on my side of the bed. I didn't have to keep getting out of bed to tend to him. It folds up so nice so it was moved around the house. So over the years I've been saying I'll be getting a second for downstairs for #2. Now the other ladies have me concerned. But I'll prob still grab another.

edited cause I tagged wrong

dinodna3 · November 2017

RnP ftw for us. DD slept in it for until she was about 4 months old. She had reflux and our pedi was fine with letting her sleep in it. I love how portable it is and easy to collapse when need be. I agree the transition to the crib with DD was more challenging but she’s just a shitty sleeper. Even at 3, she hardly ever sleeps through the night. DS would sleep in it too but he seemed to prefer the newborn sleeper on our pnp and then the crib.

Per knowing when they have reflux, DDs reflux presented as back arching and crying. She never spit up, so it took longer to diagnose. With DS, I could smell the acid on his breath when he burped.

sunshineandwhiskey · November 2017

@dinodna3 does that mean once one kid has it it’s more likely for the next?? And I agree - my ped didn’t seem super concerned she was sleeping in the RnP.

abteamb · November 2017

I didn't use the RNP for DD1. I've heard good things about it. I might get one this time just to see if it helps. DD1 was already sleeping through the night by 3m. Hopefully this baby will be the same.

SN: I have a job interview tomorrow. Should I reveal that I'm pg? I work at a school so I'll already be off when it's born in June. I just don't know if it's courteous. Also, if this question has already been answered, then I'll go back and search. Thanks

sabby2 · November 2017

Does unisom have the opposite sleep effect on anyone? I'm going on over a week of absolute crap sleep. It can't be good for me or the baby. Its helping the ms a bit so I'd hat to stop but I need to sleep! I have no chance for 3 hour naps every day because I work full time.

sunshineandwhiskey · November 2017

@abteamb With DD I interviewed for a teaching job at 7 months pregnant. I disclosed that I was only because it was going to affect the start of the school year, and I personally didn't feel comfortable not telling them. I was still offered the job too. You, by no means, HAVE to tell them. They can't use it in their decision, and if they do, you can sue.

dinodna3 · November 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey Idk, my pedi didn’t mention anything about it being hereditary.

emiliadkay · November 2017

@abteamb I don't work in a school environment so it's a bit different, but, before my time, my office hired a woman who didn't mention she was pregnant until a couple weeks after she started (I think she was 3 or 4 months along by that time). Her supervisors and team members were fairly upset, and while she stayed through her pregnancy and maternity leave she ended up leaving the company not long after.

It sounds like you've already given a lot of thought to how your pregnancy could affect a new employer (i.e., it shouldn't, really) so I think it's totally your call. A middle-of-the-road approach would be to wait to mention it until a later round interview or before accepting an offer.

marcus7676 · November 2017

@Amphibious22 As others have said, officially, the only place for baby to sleep is flat on their back in an approved sleeping thing (bassinet, snoo, crib). However, the first few months is about survival. Some babies have reflux and need to be elevated. Some babies hate being on their back (mine). We tried everything, including the RNP, and ultimately, the only place he slept was a swing. One of the issues with certain versions of the RNP is that it has a hard piece behind the head, which can contribute to the flat head issue. There are certain RNPs with more padding. We put a thick burp cloth behind my son's head in the swing.

marcus7676 · November 2017

@sabby2 Yes to your unisom question. I take half a pill at 1 pm, which helps with my afternoon nausea but doesn't affect my sleep as much at night. I tried taking a half pill at 8 am and half a pill at 8 pm and I didn't sleep at all. I expected it to effect me though since Benadryl (which is the same as Unisom) also keeps me awake.

catlady1215 · November 2017

@amphibious22 I agree with @marcus7676 about the back of the head. after a bit we noticed the one side of ds' head was getting flatter cause he'd always turn his just alittle towards our bed. so through out the night, I would turn his head. and back then there were also issues where people would cut the fabric covering the plastic of the seat open and found mold inside from leaking diapers etc. you could take the covers off to wash them, but the fabric covering the plastic wasn't removable. after hearing that, we started really padding the seat with burp clothes etc. Now that I think of it, I think we cut ours after he was done with it and we didn't have the mold so guess the towels worked. They might have made it easier to clean now though cause this was 5 years ago.

sabby2 · November 2017

@marcus7676 benadryl is actually diphenhydramine which is a different antihistamine than unisom (doxylamine). I knew benadryl can have that effect (typically it doesn't for me). I may ask my ob about trying benadryl and b6 instead to see if it makes a difference.

marcus7676 · November 2017

@sabby2 maybe it's the fact that they are both antihistimines - - the pharmacist told me that they were effectively the same, so since benadryl kept me up, she expected unisom would (she was right). I also can't take melatonin, so it wasn't surprising to me to have that reaction. Do you take a full pill or half pill? What time of day? Maybe try changing the schedule?

PatientlyWaiting10 · November 2017

@abteamb I am starting a new job on the 14th. I did not tell them in my interview I was pregnant but before I fully accepted the position I told my new boss. I wanted to make sure I would have my position back when I got back from maternity leave.

If I were you, I would NOT tell them you were pregnant. I was very hesitant to apply for this position I took even but my husband told me, if GOD FORBID, something happened to the baby, would you be disappointed you didn't apply. AND what position do you want to go back to? I know you're already applying/interviewing, but I just think, if you tell them and they wrongly discriminate against you for it (or make up another reason for you to not get the position) how sad will you be?

@Amphibious22 @doxiemoxie212 DS developed reflux (or we discovered it) around 6 months. He slept in his crib with a blanket rolled up underneath one end to prop him up a bit but that didn't really help. (He ended up being medicated for a while and we noticed the difference within a few days.) I mainly did not have him or DD sleep in the RnP or anything else besides their cribs though because they cannot sleep in that at daycare and I wanted the transition to be as smooth and easy as possible. Just something else to consider.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@sabby2 unisom, Benadryl, anything that has drowsiness as a side effect can, for some, have a “hangover” quality. I used to take them in college when I had insomnia, but I literally had to make sure I could sleep 15 hours or I wouldn’t wake up rested, so it was sort of absurd. I find the “sleep” I have with them isn’t actually restful at all, but I’ve only ever struggled with falling asleep (not staying asleep) so they still worked sort of for me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve found I can’t take them anymore because I remain drowsy much longer than average.

MoonOverGoldsboro · November 2017

Re: RnP—if an incline is what you need, you can prop up one end of the crib. That’s what we did for my son, who didn’t have reflux, but tended to have nasty spit-ups through his nose when sleeping flat after feeding. We rolled a blanket into a u-shape and placed it under his crib sheet to create a little nest that kept him from sliding down the mattress. (Does that make sense?) It worked really well for us, and it was nice that we never had to make any transition to the crib.

kmurdock925 · November 2017

@abteamb - Such a fine line to walk. In a previous role one of my coworkers told my boss and the other interviewer she was preg in the interview and they actually gave her the job mostly because they appreciated her honesty (she was also qualified and did a great job)...but it could easily go the other way and there can be a million reasons to say you didn't hire someone even if the real reason is pregnancy. I would imagine that in a school setting, with teachers being primarily women it can't be an uncommon thing. Maybe feel them out during the interview then make the call as to when/if to tell them. In my current job a coworker told her boss on her 1st day and everyone was fine with it.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@abteamb I would tell them when/if you’re accepting the job. I would not tell, essentially, a stranger that you’re in the first trimester. It’s none of their business until further down the line.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

Does the anatomy scan look at different things than NIPT testing? Or are they more complementary?

PatientlyWaiting10 · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 I am probably partly wrong so someone can correct me, but the Anatomy scan looks at baby's cord, heart, organs, bones, how baby's measuring, etc. rather than the chromosomal abnormalities that will mostly likely only show up with blood work early on. I assume (since I've never had the NIPT testing done) that they look at the anatomy scan for any potential risks of the abnormalities found with the NIPT testing also.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@PatientlyWaiting10 right, so mostly complementary it sounds like aside from the placenta/cord things since most of those anatomy issues have associated chromosomal risks, right?

icecubeinthedesert · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212, not always. I think things like heart defects can be caught at the a/s, but those aren't usually associated with the large scale chromosomal abnormalities that are picked up by NIPT.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@icecubeinthedesert gotcha

catlady1215 · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 I believe the scan at 12 weeks/nipt mostly just measures the space behind the neck. the anatomy is evvverrrything they can measure/look at.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

@catlady1215 the 12 week is the NT scan right? Which only looks at down syndrome? And the NIPT is the like mat21/harmony/panorama/etc blood tests that look at chromosomal abnormalities?

cupcakeforme · November 2017

i am currently interviewing right now, although have not had any offers - I am NOT telling anybody I am pregnant. 1 - as much as it is illegal to not hire someone who is pregnant, I think silently they would lean towards other candidates 2. I am not showing and it is too early to tell as I haven't even told all my immediate family i figured my potential employer doesn't need to know yet either.

krash_ · November 2017

so on the topic of testing, I hadn't thought about it yet because a doctor told me that the conditions aren't genetic...but MH has a cleft lip/palate and had Amniotic Band Syndrome. His fingers were cut off by bands of amniotic tissue and then fused together. I don't know if the cleft and the bands were related. I always just thought they were birth defects that but not genetic. After doing more research the cleft could be genetic. I haven't asked his mom too much about it because I don't want it to sounds like I am questioning her pregnancy. It was also the 80's so they didn't do much prenatal testing anyway.

I wasn't planning on doing any genetic testing as we are both healthy and these conditions wouldn't change anything. Not even where we are giving birth because we are already planning a hospital birth at the hospital connected to the children's hospital.

Would any type of genetic testing even detect these types of abnormalities? It seems as though ultrasound at 13 wks + is the best way. I have an appointment on Thursday so I'm sure it will be discussed but should I push for it?

krash_ · November 2017

Also on the subject of job interviews...my friend was interviewing when she was about 5 months. Didn't tell them in the first few rounds of interviews but she did tell them when she got an offer and was negotiating so she could negotiate for FMLA and more PTO since she would be on maternity leave only 4 months after starting.

doxiemoxie212 · November 2017

I'm supposed to be folding laundry, so obviously I'm just researching baby stuff instead.

Any S+TMs have to deal with babies outgrowing things too quickly? I am really only trying to buy stuff for 0-6 months because we WILL be moving from NYC to either DC or CA before the baby is 6 months old, and our apartment is obviously smaller than ideal (we are not bazillionaires) so trying to reduce "stuff" overall. Ideally I'd like to basically sell all the infant-specific stuff when we move so we have less stuff to move, then buy more 6+ month stuff after the move, bla bla bla.

But I'm concerned about having a baby that outgrows things too quickly the more I look at length maximums? I know there's no way to know until we're going through it with a baby, but I was born 22 inches long, and DH was born 21 inches long, and while DH was probably always in the, like 75th percentile for height, I was firmly in the 99th percentile throughout all of my infant/toddler years. I remember because in California at the time, I didn't have to be in the carseat anymore if I was 4 feet tall, and I was 4 feet tall if not at my 4th birthday, very soon after (I effing HATED being in carseats, ugh, even just thinking about it now, they're so confining, lol). So, like, really tall for my age.

TL;DR - would love to hear from S+TMs who had really tall babies and what advice they have for purchases knowing it's a difficult thing to predict?

marcus7676 · November 2017

@doxiemoxie212 DS was 21 inches. He wore NB clothes for about two weeks, and then 0-3. He outgrew 0-3 in length quickly, but outgrew 3-6 months even faster. He spent more time in 6-9 and 9-12 and has been in 2T for a year now (he's 2). I don't know if you can predict the size of your baby based on your height or whether they are going to be early (and thus smaller). I also would be wary about limiting purchases of any one size because otherwise you'll be doing laundry ALL THE TIME. That said, I don't think you need to buy 6+ month clothing now by any means. You'll have time after the baby is born. Amazon Prime will be your best friend.

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