@mileswithmyles@ivyvines6 well that was 2 hours of my life left with no answers. That tops the list of the craziest shit I’ve read on the bump. Some of those psychos got off easy.
My sincere apologies if I offended anyone - hand on my heart that was not my intention.
I had a ceaserean birth (and I said c-section first time because I wasn’t sure if the spelling of ceaserean was correct - I’m sure I still got it wrong) first time around because I couldn’t have the home birth I wanted to (breech and overdue). My DS came out the safest way under the circumstances, and we would probably not be here had we not had access to the miracle that is modern medicine. However, giving birth via c-section did not feel “as nature intended” at any point, in fact I was quite traumatised by the whole thing. That was my own experience, and I envy those who completely make peace with it because I still can’t. The painful spinal, the operating theatre, the amount of people, the resus area for the baby right next to me, so different from how I had envisaged it.
Second time around I really tried to have my baby vaginally (VBAC) because I didn’t think I could cope with having to recover from major abdominal surgery (which took months first time) and look after two children. I’m thankful I was able to have my baby vaginally, the recovery time was nothing in comparison!!
Referring to vaginal birth as natural was a slip of the tongue purely because of my own experience and how I feel. I have taken note and will be more considerate to all the other mummies from now on - I promise! And once again, I genuinely didn’t meant to offend anyone. Xx
I'd love to have a home birth, we are 90 minutes from the hospital that you can deliver at on back roads that don't get cell service for most of the way. I'd feel safer having someone come to me than. My insurance won't cover a midwife for home birth unless they are certified in our state, go through our insurance plan, and have an office in our state. We'll I'm right on the border to another state and the midwife is certified for our state even though her office is in the other state. She goes through our insurance, but through that state not ours, so my insurance company says no to a home birth. I will be delivering in the other state with midwives who come under the insurance in their state, but at a hospital. I think it's so dumb they won't let someone just come to my home.
If natural isn’t meant to be a word with a positive connotation, then why do marketers use the word to promote positivity and trust in their products? The world natural on a product label actually means jack shit, but to say the word natural as an adjective isn’t mainly used with a positive intention is a bit of a stretch.
@Ceridwen77 as you’ve said those marketers are full of shit too. Just because it is common, doesn’t make it right.
I’d also like to add that all surgeries in a way are unnatural. I mean cutting someone open and moving things around - definatally not nature’s plan. But nature’s plan sucks for individuals sometimes, so we are lucky to be able to change it. I was born with a severe heart defect and had open heart surgery at 6 months. My life expectancy, without that surgery was 2-3 years at best. So I don’t take this lightly at all. I am only here because of modern medicine. I am glad my parents chose to do better than nature’s plan for me.
@motherof2monkeys, I'm sorry your c section was such a painful, both physically and mentally, experience for you. Unfortunately, that seems to be home it is for a lot of women who needed one.
Honestly, I loved my c section. I would have rather have given birth vaginally, but my only complaint was the anesthesiologist cracking Seinfeld jokes to make DH laugh. I hate Seinfeld. The rest of the staff were great. One nurse kept walking me through what was going on, was giving me updates on my kids, talked to me like I was a friend she was helping get through it. And I loved that there were 3 teams of doctors and nurses assigned to me and each child. I loved that there were so many medical instruments and machines at the ready. So much can go wrong at a birth and I was, and am, terrified of being that bad statistic. Yes, midwives are great and are trained for this purpose, but sometimes extreme cases happen that require much more than that. And that just isn't worth the risk to me. If this is the route you're taking, that's fantastic. I know of several women who have had successful home births and they're very happy they did them. And I was so happy they had no complications, but it did not make me want a home birth any more than before
@mileswithmyles, I haven't even GOTTEN to the C-section part and I'm already like, Holy drama, Batman! This is nuts.... ETA I couldn't finish it. It was just too much.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
I considered it, but doing birth center instead. I didn't want to cause anxiety for my son or my dogs (they would freak out even more) watching me in pain. I'm all for births outside of the hospital for normal, healthy pregnancies. But I'm also 100% for whatever gets the job done. Medicated or not, vaginal, or c section, etc etc. My birth center is 5 mins from the hospital, and my midwives have an abundance of caution. Any issues and I'll be sent to the hospital. But I much prefer the birth center setting and the relationship with midwives and doulas. I have had friends with very successful home births. If you are considering it, just meet with some midwives and make sure it's appropriate for you, and you are confident in your provider.
If natural isn’t meant to be a word with a positive connotation, then why do marketers use the word to promote positivity and trust in their products? The world natural on a product label actually means jack shit, but to say the word natural as an adjective isn’t mainly used with a positive intention is a bit of a stretch.
Just because it's used that way doesn't mean it's correct. Yes, it's used to make you feel "good" about it, but the association of natural=good unnatural=bad is still a stupid one. There's all sorts of things that are natural that will kill you.
@motherof2monkeys no harm done. Truly just was curious what your idea of "natural" was. that's all. I am sorry your c section still sits heavy on your mind. I hope you have a complication-free birth this time around!
If natural isn’t meant to be a word with a positive connotation, then why do marketers use the word to promote positivity and trust in their products? The world natural on a product label actually means jack shit, but to say the word natural as an adjective isn’t mainly used with a positive intention is a bit of a stretch.
Just because it's used that way doesn't mean it's correct. Yes, it's used to make you feel "good" about it, but the association of natural=good unnatural=bad is still a stupid one. There's all sorts of things that are natural that will kill you.
It's like the association of chemical=bad. No.
You got that right hun! My SO has worked in the pest control industry for 8years. some of the most dangerous chemicals they have used are labeled as natural because they are made from poisonous plants. Don't get me started on organics!
I’m not positive, but I think All this organic, natural, chemical free stuff started with Rudolf Steiner (the guy who established Waldorf schools). He had a whole philosophy around it. Interesting stuff.
@motherof2monkeys My own birth story is pretty upsetting. I understand how it is going into labor and having that unmedicated, vaginal birth plan and then having it ripped away for an emergency c/s. How I was able to reconcile it was by realizing that both myself and my son would have died without the c/s. It really made me greatful that I wasn't living 100yrs in the past. I don't know about you, but for me, the c/s wasn't a "cop-out" I went though 36hours of labor and 2 failed epidural. And like many other women who've had c/s can guarantee that it's not the easy way out. Heck I had the experience of labor along with mine. It sucked but I would be just another statistical maternity death without it. I am definitely not telling you to go have more c/s especially after a successful vbac(good job), and emergency c/s aren't exactly fun, but they arent the end of the world. You and your oldest baby might not have been here without it either. It's kind of a morbid silver lining but still it's a silver lining, don't regret what you couldn't control especially since it probably saved your life. Oh and most things aren't natural. having pierced ears or tattoos or even driving a car and watching tv isn't natural. The thing that's allowed humans to thrive this long is to adapt nature to our own needs :P . Not that it's a good thing for nature but that's another topic
@kendrajos It most certainly wasn’t a “cop-out” for me, quite the opposite, myself and my first son would most probably not be here today if it wasn’t for the fact that c-sections are available. I’m thankful for it, but I wouldn’t want to have one again!
Like other ladies have said, I loved my epidural with my first. I actually don’t mind being at the hospital. I’m one of those weirdos that actually likes being at the hospital. I like the sterility of everything. Comforts me haha.
Home birth is a definite no for me. Even if we weren't at a higher risk as we seem to be, you just can never know what's going to happen at the last minute. I know the chances of it going badly are low as long as you're a low risk pregnancy, but I don't want any added risk, even a small one!
Plus my house is tiny so I don't know where we'd even do it, so yeah.
I also dislike when people use "natural" about certain birth choices/results. One that drives me nuts is people saying their twins are "natural" to indicate they weren't conceived through IVF. Uh my IVF baby isn't some supernatural shadow baby, thanks, it is also a natural child! But I know most people don't really mean anything by it or think of the implications when using that term so usually let it go.
I do like the idea of it but as a FTM I'm uncomfortable since there is a lot of unknown.
Plenty of FTMs have done it! Definitely do what feels most comfortable but lots of research and finding a great midwife to talk to can really make the difference in comfort level
Also just wondering what those who call a vaginal birth a “natural” birth would call a c-section? Unnatural?
I would think vaginal birth is a baby coming out of a vagina with or without medication/intervention. Csection is one born by csection. Unmedicated would be vaginal and no interventions. I guess I would call that one “natural”.
I think it's all well and good to have an idea of a birth plan you want but also try and not let yourself get too down if and when things don't go according to plan. I mean we all know from the October 13 thread that there is a Higher Power (bahahahaha!!!!!) but seriously some of the plans will have to be made closer to the third trimester. You might have preeclampsia, a breech baby who refuses to turn over, strep B (in which case you have to be on IV antibiotics near time to push) a wrapped cord needing a c section, an unfortunate incredibly long labor and hours of pushing with no luck or you could have a perfect and easy labor and piss all of us off a little! We all will hopefully have amazing and probably funny moments to share and do so holding our LOs that we are all in love with in our arms. I like that we don't have all the drama and can voice opinions even if they differ while still remaining respectful. I hope that doesn't go away because this group has kept me sane these last few weeks.
I could just imagine how much my neighbors would appreciate me having a homebirth!!!! Everyone's dogs howling as I scream...my two year old coming in to see...it would at least be memorable! I'm sure if we really did it would be better planned out at least, but still!
I could just imagine how much my neighbors would appreciate me having a homebirth!!!! Everyone's dogs howling as I scream...my two year old coming in to see...it would at least be memorable! I'm sure if we really did it would be better planned out at least, but still!
The Amazon delivery guy coming with a package and being scarred for life.
@theletlers I’m impressed with the respect here too. Homebirth isn’t safe for anyone who isn’t comfortable with it. It isn’t for everyone. However some of the complications you mentioned can still be handled safely at home. I definitely won’t be so stubborn about my vision of labor and not transfer if needed. Safety is my priority wherever I find it
I could just imagine how much my neighbors would appreciate me having a homebirth!!!! Everyone's dogs howling as I scream...my two year old coming in to see...it would at least be memorable! I'm sure if we really did it would be better planned out at least, but still!
The Amazon delivery guy coming with a package and being scarred for life.
Some laboring mamas just sound like they’re having really good sex though... lol
A note about group B strep... I brought it up to my midwife because I tested positive for it with J, and she said they do a push IV instead of leaving you hooked up the entire time. It pissed me off to find out that's even an option because I had to have an IV in my arm during labor with J, and it broke in my arm. On top of that they forgot to even administer the second dose of the antibiotic. -.-
I've been strep B+ with both of mine. Every four hours they'd give me another dose of ABX with my first. My second I got the first dose but not the second so they took him for monitoring a little after he was born.
Just since I'm thinking about it, if you are going to need ABX during labor, I highly recommend a probiotic. I got thrush pretty quickly after my first birth and I think the ABX played a role in me getting it. And thrush is the worst.
A note about group B strep... I brought it up to my midwife because I tested positive for it with J, and she said they do a push IV instead of leaving you hooked up the entire time. It pissed me off to find out that's even an option because I had to have an IV in my arm during labor with J, and it broke in my arm. On top of that they forgot to even administer the second dose of the antibiotic. -.-
Broke in your arm?! Ouch!! I’ve tested positive for it twice but never had the time to get the antibiotics for it anyway. We just watch baby extra close for several days. From what I’ve heard, some midwives give you the option of having the antibiotic if you deliver at home. Testing positive at 37 weeks doesn’t mean you are still positive at delivery time. There are several things you can do to help change your positive status as well.
Re: Homebirth
I had a ceaserean birth (and I said c-section first time because I wasn’t sure if the spelling of ceaserean was correct - I’m sure I still got it wrong) first time around because I couldn’t have the home birth I wanted to (breech and overdue). My DS came out the safest way under the circumstances, and we would probably not be here had we not had access to the miracle that is modern medicine. However, giving birth via c-section did not feel “as nature intended” at any point, in fact I was quite traumatised by the whole thing. That was my own experience, and I envy those who completely make peace with it because I still can’t. The painful spinal, the operating theatre, the amount of people, the resus area for the baby right next to me, so different from how I had envisaged it.
Second time around I really tried to have my baby vaginally (VBAC) because I didn’t think I could cope with having to recover from major abdominal surgery (which took months first time) and look after two children. I’m thankful I was able to have my baby vaginally, the recovery time was nothing in comparison!!
Referring to vaginal birth as natural was a slip of the tongue purely because of my own experience and how I feel. I have taken note and will be more considerate to all the other mummies from now on - I promise! And once again, I genuinely didn’t meant to offend anyone. Xx
I’d also like to add that all surgeries in a way are unnatural. I mean cutting someone open and moving things around - definatally not nature’s plan. But nature’s plan sucks for individuals sometimes, so we are lucky to be able to change it. I was born with a severe heart defect and had open heart surgery at 6 months. My life expectancy, without that surgery was 2-3 years at best. So I don’t take this lightly at all. I am only here because of modern medicine. I am glad my parents chose to do better than nature’s plan for me.
Honestly, I loved my c section. I would have rather have given birth vaginally, but my only complaint was the anesthesiologist cracking Seinfeld jokes to make DH laugh. I hate Seinfeld. The rest of the staff were great. One nurse kept walking me through what was going on, was giving me updates on my kids, talked to me like I was a friend she was helping get through it. And I loved that there were 3 teams of doctors and nurses assigned to me and each child. I loved that there were so many medical instruments and machines at the ready.
So much can go wrong at a birth and I was, and am, terrified of being that bad statistic. Yes, midwives are great and are trained for this purpose, but sometimes extreme cases happen that require much more than that. And that just isn't worth the risk to me. If this is the route you're taking, that's fantastic. I know of several women who have had successful home births and they're very happy they did them. And I was so happy they had no complications, but it did not make me want a home birth any more than before
ETA I couldn't finish it. It was just too much.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
This time if I need to have another c section I hope it’s as positive an experience as yours was. Xx
I have had friends with very successful home births. If you are considering it, just meet with some midwives and make sure it's appropriate for you, and you are confident in your provider.
It's like the association of chemical=bad. No.
chemical free stuff started with Rudolf Steiner (the guy who established Waldorf schools). He had a whole philosophy around it. Interesting stuff.
My own birth story is pretty upsetting. I understand how it is going into labor and having that unmedicated, vaginal birth plan and then having it ripped away for an emergency c/s. How I was able to reconcile it was by realizing that both myself and my son would have died without the c/s. It really made me greatful that I wasn't living 100yrs in the past. I don't know about you, but for me, the c/s wasn't a "cop-out" I went though 36hours of labor and 2 failed epidural. And like many other women who've had c/s can guarantee that it's not the easy way out. Heck I had the experience of labor along with mine. It sucked but I would be just another statistical maternity death without it. I am definitely not telling you to go have more c/s especially after a successful vbac(good job), and emergency c/s aren't exactly fun, but they arent the end of the world. You and your oldest baby might not have been here without it either. It's kind of a morbid silver lining but still it's a silver lining, don't regret what you couldn't control especially since it probably saved your life. Oh and most things aren't natural.
Like other ladies have said, I loved my epidural with my first. I actually don’t mind being at the hospital. I’m one of those weirdos that actually likes being at the hospital. I like the sterility of everything. Comforts me haha.
Home birth is a definite no for me. Even if we weren't at a higher risk as we seem to be, you just can never know what's going to happen at the last minute. I know the chances of it going badly are low as long as you're a low risk pregnancy, but I don't want any added risk, even a small one!
Plus my house is tiny so I don't know where we'd even do it, so yeah.
I also dislike when people use "natural" about certain birth choices/results. One that drives me nuts is people saying their twins are "natural" to indicate they weren't conceived through IVF. Uh my IVF baby isn't some supernatural shadow baby, thanks, it is also a natural child! But I know most people don't really mean anything by it or think of the implications when using that term so usually let it go.
Just since I'm thinking about it, if you are going to need ABX during labor, I highly recommend a probiotic. I got thrush pretty quickly after my first birth and I think the ABX played a role in me getting it. And thrush is the worst.
Broke in your arm?! Ouch!! I’ve tested positive for it twice but never had the time to get the antibiotics for it anyway. We just watch baby extra close for several days. From what I’ve heard, some midwives give you the option of having the antibiotic if you deliver at home. Testing positive at 37 weeks doesn’t mean you are still positive at delivery time. There are several things you can do to help change your positive status as well.