@maplemom18 & @mileswithmyles, thank you for responding. I think it's tough too because it's so far. If he has a hard time, I can't just go get him. I think I'm going to accept the help when baby comes but only if they're staying here.
@JNCPro3130 I agree with PP. We've left our girls with my in-laws a few times for days at a time (when they were much younger than 2.5), but they live 15 mins from us and see them almost every day. Quick question, for someone living 8 hours away, how would your DS get there? I don't know how I would feel letting someone else take my kid on a long distance drive like that, and definitely wouldn't want to drive/fly that far just to drop him off. Just a thought. And I would definitely not let them take him for when you have the baby, I would want him close so he could see his brother/sister and not feel like he's being abandoned because of the new baby. If they want to help with him when the baby is born, make them come to you. As far as letting him go to Disney or the ocean without you for the first time, I also agree with PP. I was even a little irritated that my MIL wanted to take my girls to the zoo for the first time without me. I said no. Now, on that note, my nephew who is almost 18, has never seen the ocean because my SIL HATES the beach. And she flipped out when we offered to take him with us on vacation because she wanted to be there the first time he sees the ocean. Ok, so great, then take him! But she won't, because as I mentioned before, she hates the beach. That I find a little ridiculous. But at 2.5, definitely not. Special things with Disney and the ocean should be shared with you first.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@JNCPro3130 I dont think you are being selfish at all I still would want to experience those firsts with my child. I also have anxiety about leaving my child with family while I am in the hospital. It most likely would be my mother and I love and trust her. HOWEVER!!! That woman is a shopping addict and cannot go a day without shopping and she is such a distracted driver. She is prone to accidents. I am worried that the 3 days I will be in the hospital for a C- section she will have run my child all over town and not paid attention and leave my child in the car or take her around people I dont know or want her around. I am sure I am stressing more than I should but my mom definitely likes to show my daughter off and it worries me she will take her to her house which is 30-45 min away from the hospital. I know my mom enough to know she will not respect my wishes. I dont trust my in laws at all so that is out the question for them to watch her.
@knw007, you say your trust your mom, but then spend a paragraph explaining why you don't trust her, and explicitly say she won't respect your wishes. She doesn't sound like the type of person I would want to leave my kids with. Do you have any friends/siblings, etc that would be able to stay with your daughter?
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@JNCPro3130 I don't think it's unreasonable to want to do those firsts with your LO. Nor do I think you're overreacting to the distance from you. I feel completely different about that type of situation with my IL's and I'm hoping they'll take J with them to PA this summer for a cousin's wedding.
I still haven’t left my 3.5yo with anyone else overnight! Nevermind the 2yo... twice someone else stayed at my house overnight, but that’s it. Probably my mom will stay at my house again while I am in labor this time, but the birth center has super fast turnover, so hopefully that’s one night, or less!!
@sandbar517 Yea my sister but she is a teacher and lives 30 or so minutes away and also has a 2 YO son. That would be my preference. Obviously that is not a convo I have had with my mom or sister. I just know my sister refused to take time off after having her son (she had him in July and went back like 4 weeks later) so I doubt she would want to take time off to care for my daughter while I am in the hospital.
Thank you everyone! I really appreciate your thoughts! DS is my first and only LO (until this one arrives, of course). I try to keep an open mind about things but it makes me really anxious. I feel like the last thing I'm going to need after giving birth and while taking care of a newborn is to be worrying about DS and if he's okay.
@sandbar517, they've talked about coming to me, spending a few days and taking him back with them. They've also said we're welcome to go see them and let him stay when we leave. They've also said we could meet halfway. They're so sweet and trying to make it easy. They can't wait to have grandkids visit and he's the only one they have right now! I also had the same thought as far as the baby being born and then sending DS off. My in-laws, of course, want to meet the new baby and said DS should bond too. They aren't trying to take that from us. They just thought it would be nice for DH and I to have alone time with the new baby. DS is so excited about the baby. I worry he'd feel replaced.
Re: STM+ Check In 10/25
As far as letting him go to Disney or the ocean without you for the first time, I also agree with PP. I was even a little irritated that my MIL wanted to take my girls to the zoo for the first time without me. I said no. Now, on that note, my nephew who is almost 18, has never seen the ocean because my SIL HATES the beach. And she flipped out when we offered to take him with us on vacation because she wanted to be there the first time he sees the ocean. Ok, so great, then take him! But she won't, because as I mentioned before, she hates the beach. That I find a little ridiculous. But at 2.5, definitely not. Special things with Disney and the ocean should be shared with you first.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@sandbar517, they've talked about coming to me, spending a few days and taking him back with them. They've also said we're welcome to go see them and let him stay when we leave. They've also said we could meet halfway. They're so sweet and trying to make it easy. They can't wait to have grandkids visit and he's the only one they have right now! I also had the same thought as far as the baby being born and then sending DS off. My in-laws, of course, want to meet the new baby and said DS should bond too. They aren't trying to take that from us. They just thought it would be nice for DH and I to have alone time with the new baby. DS is so excited about the baby. I worry he'd feel replaced.