@darkrose88 this would have happened to me. I was really frustrated with my job while we were TTC and had made the decision that if I wasn't pregnant after that cycle that we were done and I was going to start looking. I ended up pregnant, so I decided to stay and suck it up and reevaluate things once I'm back. I do have some great perks like the ability to work from home 2-3 days a week and be home working when my kid is sick, which DS was sick so much his first year so I will have to consider all things when I go back in April.
My situation is really up in the air. Like many of you stated, my student loans are astronomical. In fact, without the income based repayment option, my loan payment is more than I take home in a month! Thank you law school. So I don't really expect to stop working, although things with my leave are a bit dicey, I hope the decision won't be made for me. I love my job and my benefits are really good.
My company currently offers 40 hours paid parental leave + 6 weeks of STD at 60% pay, so I've been banking on being out 7 weeks (or 9 weeks if I wind up needing a C section, because STD covers 8 weeks in that event.) I can't take additional unpaid time because I've used a lot of my 12 weeks of FMLA earlier in the year for other medical needs (I can't take migraine meds while pregnant, and I have about 2-3 migraine days a month.)
But 2018s benefit information is supposed to be available next Monday, and there's a very credible rumor that they may begin offering 6 weeks of fully paid parental leave starting in January, and that it may not have to be taken concurrently with the FMLA/STD time, so if that's the case, it would be amazing to be able to take 12 full weeks.
Considering we're planning an induction around the new year I should have the ability to basically choose to be induced December 2017 or January 2018, and a lot is riding on how those benefits come out. It sucks to be so unsettled!
Edit to add: hubby has access to 4 weeks paid leave also, I think he's going to take 2 weeks when baby is born, and then 2 weeks when I go back to work. After that, my mother will be our daytime caregiver 3-4 days a week. Hubby has a rotating schedule so he has every Sunday and Monday and alternate Tuesdays off, and I have all Saturdays and Sundays off.
Since it's been mentioned a couple times, what does everybody's SO's leave look like?
DH only got 1 week paternity leave with DD but took an extra week of vacation time. This time around, he gets 2 weeks. I do wish SOs got more time as well-it's a hard adjustment for everybody.
@schaze my DH does not get any official paternity leave at his job. He will be taking off the first week/10 days or so with me, but he will have to use his own PTO to take that time off. And because his employer has been a bit sketchy with some recent "acquisitions" of other companies I'm making sure he fills out all of his FMLA paperwork to ensure he's covered and safe in taking off that long.
Jan '18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
DH is 100% up in the air....he's been in school to do court reporting (voice writing not stenography) and takes his certification tests this month. So its really possible he will be starting a brand new job and won't have any paid leave (while interviewing he plans to ask about taking unpaid time for a week or two after the baby gets here), OR he could still be at Jason's Deli and will be able to take PTO for the beginning of the year. I can't decide which one I think would be harder for him, to be in a brand new job during the newborn phase and trying to figure out a whole new industry etc, OR to do the newborn thing, still work 50 hours a week and find time to practice the voice writing so that when he does find a new job he is still qualified for it......
DH doesn't get any paternity leave but currently has unlimited PTO (changing back to accrued leave in January, but since they will be here by the end of Dec we will get lucky here...) He will be taking ABOUT two weeks once they arrive. He's a gov't contractor and in charge of the proposal and it should be coming out around the same time so I fully imagine he will be doing some WFH or going into the office for a few hours here and there (its <2 miles from our house).
My DH doesn't get specific paternity leave, but with DS he "took off" a week, which ended up being him at home constantly taking phone calls and responding to email. This time I requested that he take a full real week at least, potentially more depending on how smoothly or transition from one to two kids goes.
I forgot to mention that DH is on call the week that this c-section will be scheduled or the week after. So that should be fun. Thankfully he can do all his on call stuff from his computer at home and at first I was pissed but at the same time its not like we'll be getting much sleep anyway sooo it'll be fine.
DH does not get any leave. He's a chef, and that's not a profession where you can just not be there. He can take a day off here and there (rare) but in that instance the other cooks have to pick up the slack, and it's not something that can be done long term. But I do have a lot of support. My sister lives nearby and does not work, and while my MIL works full-time during the day, she will be coming over quite a lot in the beginning.
I just started with a new company in July after (9) years with my last. But it was a move that was totally necessary if I ever wanted work/life balance. I am a federal contractor on a government base running the facilities operations and I seriously love my job. My hours of 7-3:30/4pm and off every other Friday aren't bad either, so I will definitely be returning to work after the baby (plus I didn't kill myself in an accelerated MBA program for nothing). I am blessed to make an amazing salary for work that I find fun and rewarding. It took me a full (7) months to get my foot in the door out here after my FI pushed me and told me how nice I would have it (he's been out here at the North location for a little over 12 years).
While I am not eligible technically for FMLA, I am eligible for (12) weeks unpaid maternity leave per our company guidelines. They are allowing me to use STD as well, which will pay 60% of my salary and then I am going to work from home a few days a week as well to get the full 100% of my pay. I will probably drive in from time to time too and just bring the babe with me. As for right now, I am thinking I will take about 3-4 weeks where I am not doing any work at all to get adjusted and then dive right back in with everything else. It is super laid back though for the most part so I will probably answer my texts and e-mails anyway. Both grandmas will share babysitting responsibility when I go back full-time on-site, which is really nice too.
With Ds, I returned full time after 12 week leave and was honestly refreshed and more excited about my job than I had been in years. I spent about a year ft before going part time. Was a tough decision, but what works best with DH's frequent travel. The pay and benefits are negligible, but otherwise pt has turned out to be perfect for us.
Me-37, DH-38
Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012
Baby Boy born June 1, 2015
He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)
With DD, DH got ZERO paternity leave and used 2 weeks of PTO. With his new company he gets 3 weeks paid paternity leave and doesn't have to touch PTO. His plant is also closed from Christmas through new years. So depending on timing he could have up to 4 weeks off.
I'd like to not be induced like last go around but if I have to be I'm thinking about asking for Dec. 28th, if be 37 + 4. It would have a lot of financial benefits but we will see how the next 10 or so weeks go
I went back to work after 13 weeks last time, and DH had been hurt at work 1 week after DS was born, so he was home with me during my full maternity leave (yikes), and stayed with DS when I went back to work for another 4 months, which was great.
This time around, I get 13 weeks of FMLA (1 week paid in full from work, 6 weeks of TDI from the state (or 8 for a c section) -which pays about 80% of my salary, and then 7 weeks of STD from work that pays at 60%) and then an additional 4 weeks of something called TCI (temporary caregivers insurance) from the state, so i will be home for 17 weeks, which is awesome.
DH will also be eligible for TCI (can be used at anytime during the child's first year of life), so he will most likely use that when the baby is born. He currently works for my dad in the concrete industry, so the timing should work out ok for him to be out in January when it is slow.
Ideally, I'd love to be a SAHM but financially it just doesn't add up since we are equal breadwinners in our house.
DH gets 2 weeks of paid maternity leave. I was a wreck when he went back to work after we had DD, and will probably be a wreck this time too. Thankfully I have a LOT of family close by, so I know I'll get help...I just like having DH home with me. I would love to be a SAHM, but like @karacc18, DH and I have pretty equal salaries. He makes a bit more than me (and a LOT more when he works OT), but we depend on my salary to be reasonably comfortable in the life that we have established. If I didn't work, we would STRUGGLE (and definitely wouldn't be able to afford our house)!
@schaze When DS was born, DH got 40 hours paternity leave, which on a swing shift and the timing of when DS was born equaled about 2 weeks off and that was perfect for us to adjust. Now they have changed the policy and offer 120 hours paternity leave, meaning with the way his schedule works he could potentially be off for 6 weeks (3 weeks paid, other is just regular scheduled days off). I'm not sure if he'll take the full 120 hours. 2 weeks was a good amount of time before he started going a bit stir crazy and in turn driving me crazy! Maybe he should take the full leave (just in case shit hits the fan and I can't juggle two like I want to think/hope I can, haha) and suggest he get a few overtime days here and there on the scheduled off days.
@burnsmommy27 Dec 28th is when we’re scheduling me for (I’ll be 39 weeks), to just try a ripening agent on my cervix, that day or the day before they’re also going to strip my membranes to see if that will jump start things too. It’ll be elective so we’ll see if we get bumped but I’m hoping we can get this little guy out before the end of the year lol. My due date is Jan 3 so I’m not too worried about him coming a few days early.
DH is one of the owners at his company and I was telling him he needs to offer paternity leave for his guys. Its such a great way to support families/new moms! Because of his position, he'll be able to come and go as needed. It'll be nice to have him more available for several weeks. He travels a lot for work and is planning to be local for at least a month. With DS, he would go to work a few hours latee than normal and help the kids get dressed and breakfast. Then he'd come home and help with lunch, etc. That was super nice for several weeks.
I'm still a full timer at the same company I was at when I had DD. I'll get 10 weeks, with 2 weeks at full pay, and then 6 weeks at 65%. DH will be getting 6 weeks of paternal leave AKA- his vacation time, and some of his holiday vacation that accrues since he can't take off the actual holidays (he's a nurse in the ER).
DH gets 12 weeks unpaid through FMLA, but if he wants to get paid he has to use PTO which he doesn't have a ton of. He can also get 6 weeks Paid Family Leave through the state which pays at 55%. We've been discussing this, and i want him to take 2 weeks when the baby is born, but then after that he can take what he wants. We'll see.
DH gets no paternity leave. He is at a different company since we had DD where he had two weeks. This time around he's planning on taking a week of vacation time right after the baby is born and then will most likely take some more vacation time at the end of my leave/beginning of when I have to go back to work to give us another week or so before this baby has to head in to daycare.
My husband is currently sponsoring me to live in Canada with him (I am American), so I am not working and won't be working until baby is at least a year old (need paperwork to go thru before I can work). I keep myself busy now but it does get quite lonely! I am excited for baby girl to be born so I have someone to spend my days with! I am very thankful and fortunate to be able to stay home, especially for the length of time after she is born.
I am so thankful for this thread! It has given me this brief window of appreciation after simmering in work resentment for various reasons (some justified more than others). Essentially, when LO comes I will get 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid (so I'll be off January/February/March) and come back April. When I come back, DD and LO (omg DS! So hard to wrap my mind around--SO excited), will be with my mom and dad M/W and at daycare on the campus where I work T/Tr (which is awesome b/c I can take breaks and go breastfeed which is > pumping). And, get this, even though I just completely trashed him in another thread, and he's on my sh*t list, my supervisor is letting me essentially take Fridays off (there will be situations where I may need to come in etc), but I am still a full time employee. He's more or less doing that without approval and I genuinely appreciate it. I have an hour commute to get to work... so two hours a day in the car (and that's if I'm lucky). Four days of that is much more manageable than five somehow. I also think knowing I'll get three FULL days with my children will help me transition back to work. I'm dreading leaving a baby that small. It's hard enough for me to leave DD some days.
I was a SAHM with DD for 9 months, and I truly believe that was the absolute perfect amount of time for her. She was ready to go to daycare and interact with other babies and adults. No way is a three month old going to be ready, but our stupid credit card debt (we're dumb!) necessitates that I work... and (even though I haven't said it lately) I do find some aspects of my job genuinely rewarding.
@leeeahyo Thank you for sharing your post. I think a lot of
the issues you address could benefit a lot of women—people will ask you
questions about when/if you are going back to work etc. and you may sense that
some people don’t respect what you are doing. But all SAHMs are rock stars in
my book. I think it is important to be confident in whatever decision you make.
@lmmjd I too have concerns over how many work related calls
I’ll get over my time away. I’m considering not accepting any from the get go
just to set a precedent.
@KatieEl that is so awesome your DH values what you do. I
think that can make ALL the difference between the situation working/not
working. Also, I think you’ll be an awesome doula when that time arrices.
DH's firm offers a fair amount of paternity leave (by waving the number of hours he's required to meet; he's an attorney so they bill hourly)....but a) it's mostly in name only b) he works so much throughout the year he's always hundreds of hours over anyway so it doesn't really matter for us, and c) we're hoping he'll be made partner this fall and the hour requirements won't really apply in the same way for him. With DS1 he was at a different firm (and knew he was planning on leaving) so he took two full weeks off and worked limited hours for another 4-6 or so. With DS2 he took a full week off...and got the norovirus. So he wasn't as much help as we were both hoping. This time he'll plan to take a few days off, but it's going to depend what his trial schedule looks like. Which is why my mom will be coming out to help!
DS1: Nov. 2013 DS2: Jan. 2016 DS3: Dec. 2017 Baby #4 on the way!
@auntieraindrop that's so awful! I basically locked him in a room and told him he had to cover his hands with clorox wipes when he trekked to the bathroom and not to touch anything.
DS1: Nov. 2013 DS2: Jan. 2016 DS3: Dec. 2017 Baby #4 on the way!
I have a bit of a unique situation. I am working up until Christmas break 12/22 - I will be 38 weeks and we don't think it makes sense to go back for 5 days before my due date. It will be my last day as I will not be returning to my current position and I will be taking off from any work for 12 weeks (unpaid unfortunately). My mom is a very successful wedding florist and it has always been in the plan for me to partner with her and eventually take over; so after the 12 weeks, wedding season starts back up and I will be working with her Weds-Sat. The plan is to bring LO with me on Weds and Thurs, Friday she will be with my MIL, and Saturday my DH will be home with her. I'm hoping and praying it works out the way we have it planned!
@EmilyLove25 yes! Thank you for acknowledging. I wondered if I was writing too much in my post, but figured sharing my personal experience could maybe help anyone teetering on that decision making process (and if anyone is, please let me know if you need any support or advice or have questions!). For me, it came with tons of researching, second guessing, and it's silly but I worried what people would think of me (again, the non-support came mostly from family for me, which made me feel so insecure during that time--and also, hormones and first time momness). It truly and ultimately comes down to being confident in what is best for your new/growing family, and no one else!
All of you mamas are amazing and do amazing things every day for your families and little ones! I'm so happy to be a part of this community where we can all support each other. It means a lot!
ETA: @schaze, I am interested to learn about some of the surveys you do! I've heard of this and looked into it briefly before, but it never lead anywhere!
I will have 6 weeks of unpaid leave, then I'll start back at my PT nannying job. Baby will be with my mom or MIL. It's usually only a few hours a day, so I'm not too worried. Hoping and praying that my husband finishes his degree in the spring and has a new job by the summer so I can become a SAHM.
We made the decision that I'd quit teaching a SAH before we decided to start TTC DD1. We had a number of financial goals we wanted to meet prior to becoming a single income household. DH and I both have advanced degrees, so we basically have a second mortgage in student loan payments.
I taught up until the day before DD1 arrived- that was my last day there, though I still coach swimming and run a summer rec program for the city. So while I no longer work full time I do still work, some. Six months out of the year it means I'm walking out of the door as DH is walking in the door, but it means we don't have to rely on anyone for childcare, I'm available for running the kids pretty much anywhere during the day and I still get to work some. Just enough to help me feel necessary.
DH doesn't get any paternity leave. Any time he takes comes out of his vacation pay. He usually takes the first week off. Being a SAHM for so long it's almost harder having him home. He's in my space, messing with my stuff. Being home is also difficult on him, he's a creature of habit and doesn't function well outside of his normal routine.
@leeeahyo I'm just heading to work, but I'll try to remember to send you a PM later! I make pretty decent money doing it as long as I set aside some time every day, usually during naptime!
I'm planning to be home for about three months -- entirely unpaid, unfortunately. I'm going to start job hunting when the wee magikarp is about six- to eight- weeks old, and then hopefully be gainfully employed again by April. I'm finishing up my degree and know that I'm happier and more functional when I work.
I've given serious thought to looking for work that allows me to work from home (either freelance or something that works that way, but working from home was really hard on me when my son was a baby. (I did it until he was almost five.) We've gotten so lucky with a provider whose quoted weekly rate isn't astronomical -- but it'd eat three-quarters of the part-time paycheck I bring home now, and it wouldn't work for our financial situation.
It sucks because I love my department and I love my job, but it's neither in the field I want to end up in nor is there any growth opportunity in it. And I'm terrified of being unemployed, and also of trying to find a job in my field fresh out of school. We have money in savings to help us make it through about three months of me being unemployed, and if it starts to look like the job hunt is going to go on longer than that, then I'm going to start applying for any service job with hours opposite my husband's until we can afford daycare. (This is the worst-case scenario, in our opinion, but the option is there.)
I have SO MANY FEELINGS about our post-partum plans. I'm most eager because my husband is going to stay home for two or three weeks when the baby comes. He's going to have to burn most or all of his PTO to do it, which sucks, but I'm so glad to have that time available to us.
No paternity leave for my FI either as he’s also a federal contractor and we all know the government lacks a bit in this department. But he can rollover every year, so before we got pregnant he was already banking it for a vacation we wanted to take and as soon as we found out we were expecting, he has kept accruing. So he’s looking at taking (2-3) weeks and then my mom is driving down for (2) weeks as well.
I so badly wanted to participate in this last night but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open!
I’m taking 12 weeks off (6 paid/6 unpaid). I have 5 days of banked PTO that they will pay out to me per company policy. Taking off starting 21Dec to 29Dec because I have PTO I have to use also per company rules. I may not make it back if DD decides to come early, otherwise I’ll be training my backup in early Jan until I go into labor.
I will be returning back to work after the 12 weeks. I make too much to stay home and honestly, I enjoy working. I would not be a sane person as a SAHM although I would like to stay home for the first 9 months or so as I think that’s about the time that nursing slows down and baby seems to be ready for daycare in my opinion. I’m lucky because I get to WFH full time. My company allows me to be flexible with my hours when I need to which I am very grateful for.
Our company gives us a ton of PTO and no paternity leave. DH plans to use 2 weeks for when DD gets here. He could take a month or more but he’s a workaholic and will have cabin fever after two weeks. When DS was born, he took two weeks off and didn’t know what to do with himself. He ended up revamping the back yard instead of helping me with a newborn and I was one pissed off FTM. It was his way of dealing with the huge life change I think. It’s like he was in shock. We laugh about it now, but he’s been warned he’s not allowed to desert me this time.
@jakobaby I LOLed about your DH. Mine is the same! He loves loves to work and he would go crazy being home all day for more than a few days. I mentioned above how he was able to work shorter days, popping in and out. It worked really well for both of us.
Re: GTKY: Post Partum Life
edit:words are hard.
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
My company currently offers 40 hours paid parental leave + 6 weeks of STD at 60% pay, so I've been banking on being out 7 weeks (or 9 weeks if I wind up needing a C section, because STD covers 8 weeks in that event.) I can't take additional unpaid time because I've used a lot of my 12 weeks of FMLA earlier in the year for other medical needs (I can't take migraine meds while pregnant, and I have about 2-3 migraine days a month.)
But 2018s benefit information is supposed to be available next Monday, and there's a very credible rumor that they may begin offering 6 weeks of fully paid parental leave starting in January, and that it may not have to be taken concurrently with the FMLA/STD time, so if that's the case, it would be amazing to be able to take 12 full weeks.
Considering we're planning an induction around the new year I should have the ability to basically choose to be induced December 2017 or January 2018, and a lot is riding on how those benefits come out. It sucks to be so unsettled!
Edit to add: hubby has access to 4 weeks paid leave also, I think he's going to take 2 weeks when baby is born, and then 2 weeks when I go back to work. After that, my mother will be our daytime caregiver 3-4 days a week. Hubby has a rotating schedule so he has every Sunday and Monday and alternate Tuesdays off, and I have all Saturdays and Sundays off.
DH only got 1 week paternity leave with DD but took an extra week of vacation time. This time around, he gets 2 weeks. I do wish SOs got more time as well-it's a hard adjustment for everybody.
Jan '18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
I can't decide which one I think would be harder for him, to be in a brand new job during the newborn phase and trying to figure out a whole new industry etc, OR to do the newborn thing, still work 50 hours a week and find time to practice the voice writing so that when he does find a new job he is still qualified for it......
Together Let Us Seek the Heights
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
While I am not eligible technically for FMLA, I am eligible for (12) weeks unpaid maternity leave per our company guidelines. They are allowing me to use STD as well, which will pay 60% of my salary and then I am going to work from home a few days a week as well to get the full 100% of my pay. I will probably drive in from time to time too and just bring the babe with me. As for right now, I am thinking I will take about 3-4 weeks where I am not doing any work at all to get adjusted and then dive right back in with everything else. It is super laid back though for the most part so I will probably answer my texts and e-mails anyway. Both grandmas will share babysitting responsibility when I go back full-time on-site, which is really nice too.
With Ds, I returned full time after 12 week leave and was honestly refreshed and more excited about my job than I had been in years. I spent about a year ft before going part time. Was a tough decision, but what works best with DH's frequent travel.
The pay and benefits are negligible, but otherwise pt has turned out to be perfect for us.
With DD, DH got ZERO paternity leave and used 2 weeks of PTO. With his new company he gets 3 weeks paid paternity leave and doesn't have to touch PTO. His plant is also closed from Christmas through new years. So depending on timing he could have up to 4 weeks off.
I'd like to not be induced like last go around but if I have to be I'm thinking about asking for Dec. 28th, if be 37 + 4. It would have a lot of financial benefits but we will see how the next 10 or so weeks go
This time around, I get 13 weeks of FMLA (1 week paid in full from work, 6 weeks of TDI from the state (or 8 for a c section) -which pays about 80% of my salary, and then 7 weeks of STD from work that pays at 60%) and then an additional 4 weeks of something called TCI (temporary caregivers insurance) from the state, so i will be home for 17 weeks, which is awesome.
DH will also be eligible for TCI (can be used at anytime during the child's first year of life), so he will most likely use that when the baby is born. He currently works for my dad in the concrete industry, so the timing should work out ok for him to be out in January when it is slow.
Ideally, I'd love to be a SAHM but financially it just doesn't add up since we are equal breadwinners in our house.
I would love to be a SAHM, but like @karacc18, DH and I have pretty equal salaries. He makes a bit more than me (and a LOT more when he works OT), but we depend on my salary to be reasonably comfortable in the life that we have established. If I didn't work, we would STRUGGLE (and definitely wouldn't be able to afford our house)!
Together Let Us Seek the Heights
Because of his position, he'll be able to come and go as needed. It'll be nice to have him more available for several weeks. He travels a lot for work and is planning to be local for at least a month. With DS, he would go to work a few hours latee than normal and help the kids get dressed and breakfast. Then he'd come home and help with lunch, etc. That was super nice for several weeks.
I am so thankful for this thread! It has given me this brief window of appreciation after simmering in work resentment for various reasons (some justified more than others). Essentially, when LO comes I will get 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid (so I'll be off January/February/March) and come back April. When I come back, DD and LO (omg DS! So hard to wrap my mind around--SO excited), will be with my mom and dad M/W and at daycare on the campus where I work T/Tr (which is awesome b/c I can take breaks and go breastfeed which is > pumping). And, get this, even though I just completely trashed him in another thread, and he's on my sh*t list, my supervisor is letting me essentially take Fridays off (there will be situations where I may need to come in etc), but I am still a full time employee. He's more or less doing that without approval and I genuinely appreciate it. I have an hour commute to get to work... so two hours a day in the car (and that's if I'm lucky). Four days of that is much more manageable than five somehow. I also think knowing I'll get three FULL days with my children will help me transition back to work. I'm dreading leaving a baby that small. It's hard enough for me to leave DD some days.
I was a SAHM with DD for 9 months, and I truly believe that was the absolute perfect amount of time for her. She was ready to go to daycare and interact with other babies and adults. No way is a three month old going to be ready, but our stupid credit card debt (we're dumb!) necessitates that I work... and (even though I haven't said it lately) I do find some aspects of my job genuinely rewarding.
@leeeahyo Thank you for sharing your post. I think a lot of the issues you address could benefit a lot of women—people will ask you questions about when/if you are going back to work etc. and you may sense that some people don’t respect what you are doing. But all SAHMs are rock stars in my book. I think it is important to be confident in whatever decision you make.
@lmmjd I too have concerns over how many work related calls I’ll get over my time away. I’m considering not accepting any from the get go just to set a precedent.
@KatieEl that is so awesome your DH values what you do. I think that can make ALL the difference between the situation working/not working. Also, I think you’ll be an awesome doula when that time arrices.
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
DS2: Jan. 2016
DS3: Dec. 2017
Baby #4 on the way!
DS2: Jan. 2016
DS3: Dec. 2017
Baby #4 on the way!
All of you mamas are amazing and do amazing things every day for your families and little ones! I'm so happy to be a part of this community where we can all support each other. It means a lot!
ETA: @schaze, I am interested to learn about some of the surveys you do! I've heard of this and looked into it briefly before, but it never lead anywhere!
I taught up until the day before DD1 arrived- that was my last day there, though I still coach swimming and run a summer rec program for the city. So while I no longer work full time I do still work, some. Six months out of the year it means I'm walking out of the door as DH is walking in the door, but it means we don't have to rely on anyone for childcare, I'm available for running the kids pretty much anywhere during the day and I still get to work some. Just enough to help me feel necessary.
DH doesn't get any paternity leave. Any time he takes comes out of his vacation pay. He usually takes the first week off. Being a SAHM for so long it's almost harder having him home. He's in my space, messing with my stuff. Being home is also difficult on him, he's a creature of habit and doesn't function well outside of his normal routine.
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
I've given serious thought to looking for work that allows me to work from home (either freelance or something that works that way, but working from home was really hard on me when my son was a baby. (I did it until he was almost five.) We've gotten so lucky with a provider whose quoted weekly rate isn't astronomical -- but it'd eat three-quarters of the part-time paycheck I bring home now, and it wouldn't work for our financial situation.
It sucks because I love my department and I love my job, but it's neither in the field I want to end up in nor is there any growth opportunity in it. And I'm terrified of being unemployed, and also of trying to find a job in my field fresh out of school. We have money in savings to help us make it through about three months of me being unemployed, and if it starts to look like the job hunt is going to go on longer than that, then I'm going to start applying for any service job with hours opposite my husband's until we can afford daycare. (This is the worst-case scenario, in our opinion, but the option is there.)
I have SO MANY FEELINGS about our post-partum plans. I'm most eager because my husband is going to stay home for two or three weeks when the baby comes. He's going to have to burn most or all of his PTO to do it, which sucks, but I'm so glad to have that time available to us.
I’m taking 12 weeks off (6 paid/6 unpaid). I have 5 days of banked PTO that they will pay out to me per company policy. Taking off starting 21Dec to 29Dec because I have PTO I have to use also per company rules. I may not make it back if DD decides to come early, otherwise I’ll be training my backup in early Jan until I go into labor.
I will be returning back to work after the 12 weeks. I make too much to stay home and honestly, I enjoy working. I would not be a sane person as a SAHM although I would like to stay home for the first 9 months or so as I think that’s about the time that nursing slows down and baby seems to be ready for daycare in my opinion. I’m lucky because I get to WFH full time. My company allows me to be flexible with my hours when I need to which I am very grateful for.
Our company gives us a ton of PTO and no paternity leave. DH plans to use 2 weeks for when DD gets here. He could take a month or more but he’s a workaholic and will have cabin fever after two weeks. When DS was born, he took two weeks off and didn’t know what to do with himself. He ended up revamping the back yard instead of helping me with a newborn and I was one pissed off FTM. It was his way of dealing with the huge life change I think. It’s like he was in shock. We laugh about it now, but he’s been warned he’s not allowed to desert me this time.