October - Introduce Yourself — The Bump

October - Introduce Yourself

If you're new to the boards and / or have been lurking for a while, please introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about you so we can get to know you! No judgement here regardless of which group you would fall into (adopted / adopting / fostered / fostering / placed a child, etc).
Me:28 | DH: 28
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
     due to previous issues.
BFP: 11/4/2016
 BabyFruit Ticker

Re: October - Introduce Yourself

  • {TW: kids in signature}

    Hi, I've introduced myself before but I'm still lurking and still hoping to eventually adopt.  My husband isn't quite ready to take the plunge, but we are getting our house ready (safety-wise, and extra bedroom-wise), little by little.

    The latest development with us is that we've actually been asked to adopt a child we already know (very long story involving knowing this child's family).  They first asked us over two years ago, but we were pregnant and had to say no (though I always really hoped we could eventually do so).  They asked us again a few months ago.

    I know this is kind of a strange situation and I guess I'm just looking for a little bit of reassurance that we are probably going about this the right way.

    Without putting too much of this child's private info "out there", he's a school-age child who has been adopted by his great-grandma after being in foster care as an infant.  The way we met is actually kind of interesting; we were waiting to pick up our kids (well, her great-grandkid) from school and I happened to remark about how much this kid looks just like my husband did as a child (based on photos).  I had no idea that she was his legal parent and only caregiver, or that I would get to know them.

     G-Gma is now really wanting to find him a new family with two parents and some siblings, because she is getting older and slowing down physically.  She (and one of her family members who isn't able to adopt him) offered to put us in contact with their lawyer, which is the same person who helped them finalize the initial adoption.--I guess this is where I'm confused; I wonder why they had a lawyer if it the adoption was through DFCS?--  Anyway, they were saying they didn't even think we'd need a home study (I kind of feel weird about them saying that).  I'm saying we'd need a home study for sure and we would want to go through all of the right avenues legally, if my husband is ultimately 100% on board (he is getting close).

    I guess I am worried that something seems off about this.  He is the sweetest kid and I would be so honored to bring him into our family, but I am a tiny bit scared GGma isn't telling me everything.

    Anyone have any thoughts about this (apparently kind of rare) independent-type situation?  Should I be worried that this is too good to be true?  Will it be devastating for this kid to leave the only parent he's ever known (obviously), even if we have visits with her?  Thanks.
    Laura, mom of:
    James (14)
    William (13)
    Elise (11)
    Zachary (5)
    George (3)

    www.letterstoauntkay.com [making the blog private.  PM me if you want to subscribe]
  • @mill1020  I'm pretty sure lawyers are involved even if adoptions are through DCFS because there is still a lot of legal paperwork and such. So s/he is probably a lawyer who works with DCFS cases. Also, if you're doing it all privately it's possible you don't need a home study. I'm 99% sure the home study is a requirement by adoption agencies and DCFS, not a legal requirement for all adoptions (but that could vary by state and someone correct me if I'm wrong). Of course, that's something that you should ask the lawyer because s/he would know the legal requirements in your state.
    Me: 27   H: 26
    Foster Care process
    Licensed: June 2017
    FS 1 placed with us: January 2018
    FS 2 placed with us: March 2019
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  • @britters, thank you so much for the clarification.  
    Laura, mom of:
    James (14)
    William (13)
    Elise (11)
    Zachary (5)
    George (3)

    www.letterstoauntkay.com [making the blog private.  PM me if you want to subscribe]
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