Trying to Get Pregnant

Mental Health Check-in for the First Half of October

***This thread has a general trigger warning.*** 
This thread is a safe place for members to discuss their mental health, struggles, and successes while on the TTGP Board. This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!

Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort. 
If you need help getting started, try filling out the form below:

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):

How are you feeling?

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)

Re: Mental Health Check-in for the First Half of October

  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Major Depressive Disorder

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW

    How are you feeling?: Meh... It's nearing the end of the TWW, my beta is scheduled for Wed and I'm still getting BFNs on HPTs. I know this is only the first cycle we are trying this round (we've been trying on and off for 4 years) but it was our last sperm sample we have and if it doesn't happen this month, it almost feels like we're starting over.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)  I'm in counseling and on meds. I have been for almost a year. Our flight home got cancelled yesterday so I had to cancel my therapy appointment today. It was rescheduled to a week from now, which will be good because I'll know for sure if this round worked or not. Just feeling blah
    Me: 29 |  DW: 30
    Married: May 2013
    TTC #1 Since: June 2013
    IUI 1-6: BFN
    IUI 7: TWW
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  • @luckypandas So sorry for your struggles, and for your vacation finally coming to an end. Are you and DW able to attempt more cycles in the near future? I'm FX that this round worked though, and it's just too early still for you to turn a test. Be kind to yourself, this journey can really suck sometimes

    @darkstar42 Thanks for getting this thread posted....It popped up at a good time :)

    AFM...

    Mental Health Diagnosis: Anxiety/Depression

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW and then benched if it's not our cycle

    How are you feeling? I'm feeling a little bit better than last month honestly. I have an appointment on the books for the 16th. I really hope that I can make some progress, and possible start medication for at least my anxiety issues/panic attacks. I'm going to ask about a therapy referral too. I've never tried it, but i'm willing to see if it will help. Though talking to a strangers about myself seems a bit weird, and off putting.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? See above :)
    Siggy Challenge - Summer Movie Scenes


  • Oh I am glad this is here. Today (and really the last two days) has been a struggle for me, and I am sorry to hear that others are having struggles too (but glad to have a space to share!). @luckypandas flight delays are the WORST and it sounds like the cherry on top of some other things going on. HUgs to you! @josie12367 I was skeptical with therapy too but it was helpful! As I have told others...you can tell everything you never want to say out loud to those you see everyday to this person because...eventually you hope to NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. Its kind of liberating. And if you find the right fit, they don't tiptoe like other people in your life around issues they see.

    AFM...
    Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Anxiety and situational depression. The anxiety has been there for the last few years but the situational depression is from TW losing my daughter shortly after birth in December end TW.

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW. Holla!

    How are you feeling? ABout TTGP? Much better. The last few months I have been down in the dumps every BFN because I thought by controlling the situation I would make it happen. NOT HAPPENING. I really let go this cycle. Just because I am "supposed" to have a baby doesn't mean its going to happen when I want to to fill some imaginary void. So, as of now I am feeling ok. 

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) I am incredibly emotional pre AF and its showing today. Everything is harder than it needs to be and making me mad. I did Upper fix today while yelling out loud how much I hate scissor crunches (SERIOUSLY EFF THEM). Overall, I was on meds after my loss for about 8 months and went of to TTGP because TW there is a stupid small increased chance of heart defects which is what was wrong with my daughter end TW so I just couldn't keep it up during this time. I was also seeing a therapist, but am no longer. I totally found that there are moments now, off meds, that I start to spiral, and recognize that I didn't do that before when on meds, and so I can tell myself.."ok, that's the anxiety. No your husband doesn't hate your cooking and has been lying to you for years to make you feel better. No calm down." lol. Its been great being able to identify and use self talk in those moments rather than give in.



  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: depression/suicidal ideation/self-harm

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WTO

    How are you feeling? Good, this month. We are trying some new treatment for the first time, so I feel hopeful. Overall the past two years of TTC have been very challenging for me, mental-health-wise, however. I've seriously considered going back into therapy again, but I did not find therapy that helpful when I've been in it previously. (I think therapy can be very helpful, but my therapists were not very good.)

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) I've struggled with depression all my life (seriously remember being depressed as a 10 year old), but hit a crisis point (escalating self-harm and a suicide attempt) in my early twenties that led to me seeking professional help (AKA my then-bf now-hubby gave me an ultimatum that I had to). I was in therapy and on a few different meds for a while, ultimately on one antidepressant for about a year before I decided to stop going to therapy and weaned myself off the drug. That was super rough. In the short term, it had been very helpful and I absolutely needed it at that point. But at least for me, antidepressants were not a long-term solution. So the past decade has been a journey for me in self-help and slowly learning healthy coping mechanisms that will work for me. Reading The Depression Cure was life-changing for me - the chapter on recognizing and halting rumination in its path, alone, has been the single greatest step I took toward emotional health. Now in my early thirties, I have good and bad days/weeks, and especially have had setbacks with all of the stress and grief of 2 years of infertility, but overall I know what I need to do to take care of myself and I am emotionally stronger and more content now than I've ever been and that feels wonderful. So I guess I just wanted to post here as a reminder to myself, for when I'm back in the hole, and for anyone else who is down in the hole right now themselves....you will get out of it. It WILL get better. It takes time...and you'll fall back in it again...but you'll get out of it again, too. <3


    I have a question: Has anyone joined an IRL support group for infertility, or for mental health or other issues? I've never tried group therapy or a support group before...curious if anyone who has would be willing to share if they thought it was helpful or not.
  • jrm_14jrm_14 member
    edited October 2017
    @sapphire86. Hi :)  You displayed so much courage to post here!  (As has @luckypandas @josie12367 and @SmashJam ). Your message about it does get better was really great to read. The awesome part (Mental illness is such a double edged sword) is that you acknowledged ‘when I get down.’  Part of staying on top of MI is recognizing no one is immune from relapses or future issues. People who stay on top of it can typically seek out support sooner. Early intervention is always best, though it is never too late. 

    I have have been on both sides of group therapy- as a group member and as a facilitator.   As with individual therapy, it really depends on the culture of of the group as to how it goes. I’ve been in groups that I learned more creative ways to harm myself and more disordered eating behaviors than anything helpful. I’ve been in groups that are mainly for everybody venting. I’ve been in groups where it is an open conversation, facilitated by a therapist, though focused on relevant topics and is a supportive/non-judgemental, encouraging environment to grow and sustain change. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman!).   If you have any specific questions, feel free to PM me!!  
    ETA:  Regardless of the overall group culture, one great thing about group therapy or support is recognizing that you are not alone, and that others are going through similar things, too. The power of human connection can be so peaceful to the hurting heart. 
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