May 2018 Moms

I know we all just want a healthy baby but if you had to pick- boy or girl?

2

Re: I know we all just want a healthy baby but if you had to pick- boy or girl?

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  • kpc914kpc914 member
    edited October 2017
    This is our first child. I would obviously be happy with either and we are team green. However, I know my husband really longs to have at least one daughter. Since we only plan on having two, it might be nice to have a daughter first so the pressure is off :-). 

    My husband actually finds it really interesting that so many of his male friends wants sons so they can "bond" with them. But he sees the relationships in my family and almost all of my female cousins are super close to their dads, but the boys not so much. (I have 27 first cousins.....so it's quite a sample size)I think he pictures himself with that same father daughter bond. I know he would bond well with a boy, but I think he just sees something special there with the father/daughter relationship. . 
  • I am hoping this little one is a girl. With 2 boys and this being our last, it's my only hope for a girl. I would love a third boy for the pack too of course! 
    We are currently debating room sharing. Each of our boys has a room now, but they could easily share. We have bunk beds in the smaller room, so it'd be a pain to move them and create a nursery. If this baby is a boy, we may be able to adapt one of the current themes so it's less work.  Poor third child!!

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  • I'm hoping for a boy - this is likely our only child we'll have and my SO would love to pass on the family name. I always thought I would want a girl since I was close with my mom but I feel so much differently now that I'm pregnant. It'll be a while before we find out but that's what I'm hoping for!
  • bumpemmabumpemma member
    edited October 2017
    @nanifrog do they really seem more violent or just physically inclined? I notice boys seem to physically independent earlier, climbing, throwing etc. But girls seem to be more advanced verbally. So, with my DS, he gets frustrated more easily bc he cannot communicate as well. He throws everything, but he doesn't mean it in a violent way. I am sure there are kids who are more violent (I know I have seen some pretty violent girls!) but it may just be general differences. There are plenty of shows and toys that are non violent. And I honestly could not care less about what other people say in regards to gender norms. If my son wants to play with dolls, I encourage that. Wants to watch princess movies, I encourage that. It's all a balance, and I wouldn't stress too much. 
    There really are general differences between the genders, it all has to do with the increased testosterone that starts to be released when baby is about 14 weeks in the whom. However as we all know there are people on both scales of male and female who have personalities that differ, nature and nurture! There can be sweet boys who love hugs, language. And girls who are wild and love risk! But in general the impact testosterone makes has been researched and known in both brain scans, brain function and behaviour. 

    Netflix has a doco called The 9 Months That Made You, episode 2 the 2nd trimester has info on gender. 
    It may not be everyones cup of tea - but the Bringing up Boys and Bringing up Girls by Jame Dobson a child psychologist - are good books, written awhile ago and conservative Christian but give them a shot, I value the psych background and info on genders that are not based on social things but rather a psych and behaviour point of view. 

    I'm preparing myself for a boy - knowing even my sweet natured husband loves taking physical risks...  :# 
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  •  Follow up question…  I see a lot of comments regarding room sharing. Does it really matter sex of siblings for room sharing? I mean at least while they're a little? 
    Fun random fact about Florida, children of the opposit sex cannot share a bedroom past the age of five. No idea WHY that's a thing but I'd speculate that it keeps poor people from having multiple children. Also worth pointing out, that it's rarely enforced.
  • We have a 2yo son so my husband would LOVE a baby girl this time. I could go either way, I got my 1st born boy so mama is content. :)
  • @ivyvines6 :| wow..... We make some really dumb laws in this country... 
  • @mommabmb @yesthisiskim0401 I always assume people mean physically healthy. Then again I get incredibly pissy when people assume shit about what I say, so I'm sure it isn't the best turn of phrase. I'm looking forward to having a baby in my arms to cuddle and love until they grow up. 
  • mommabmb said:
    ivyvines6 said:
    @mommabmb @yesthisiskim0401 I always assume people mean physically healthy. Then again I get incredibly pissy when people assume shit about what I say, so I'm sure it isn't the best turn of phrase. I'm looking forward to having a baby in my arms to cuddle and love until they grow up. 
    I understand the well-meaning part of it. I don't get upset when others say it- it isn't meant to be hurtful. (Admittedly- I'm also not always good at being "PC"). This is just one area that hits close to home. The trauma experienced by my kids is neurological, but a child born without an arm or with a genetic physical disorder should also be celebrated as a beautiful new life.
    I get it. I mean, who DOESNT want a healthy kid, kwim? I just avoid saying it because you never know what someone is going through. With my second we always said "as long as it's healthy" and her immune system is great and she is relatively healthy. But she had delays no test could have shown us and when we started our journey with her we got a lot of "omg I'm so sorry". I'm not sorry for her or I, or our family. So I'm just sensitive to the "healthy" comments. And I try to be as sensitive to others. Not at all an attack on people who say it or wish it. 

  • @Shima42 yes!! So much yes!
  • kpc914kpc914 member
    edited October 2017
    @ivyvines6 great way of doing things and really should be the norm. Nothing wrong with gender specific pronouns until your child tells you otherwise.
  • @bumpemma *sex, not gender. 
  • @ivyvines6 totally agree with you.  I'll use the pronouns he/she until they tell me otherwise.  Don't know why people have to make everything so hard these days 
    *Married 7/29/11
    BFP 10/2/13, EDD 6/3/14
    Gave birth to my beautiful son, Owen Robert on 6/4/14!
    BFP #2 8/28/15, EDD 5/5/16


  • @MrsPrice519 I wouldn't necessarily say that things are so hard these days, but it isn't the cultural norm yet. It could be that in fifteen or twenty years gender neutral pronouns are the standard. Who knows?
  • @Ambermom043 I think something has been engrained in our culture that men are convinced that they need a son so they can do the sports and "manly" things. But, in practice, you will have a special and different bond with any child. 
  • It took me so long to conceive this one (2 years) I honestly will be thrilled for anything. I guess boy if I HAD to choose, simply because it would make my mom overjoyed (she is extremely traditional and having a first born boy is typically a great outcome).
    My TTC journey:
    Me and DH: 30-35
    Unexplained infertility
    TTC #1 since 2015
    11/2015 - BFP!     12/2015 - MC  :'(
    IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal)
    FET #1 TBD  Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!

    Pregnancy Ticker


  • marina926marina926 member
    edited October 2017
    I'm out. Disregard.
  • I really feel like there is a little girl waiting to join our family.  I was so happy to have Viking first because I've always wished I had a big brother.  Hubby wants a girl really really bad.  I'm hoping to eventually have 2 of each.  Though I will say I am really hoping we don't have to decide on another boy name.  Hubby wants a Jr and I...don't.  He also loves the name Daniel.  I love the sound/meaning but hate how common it is.
    Jana Lynn
     Happily married since 5/24/2015  Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
  • I have three boys, I would love for a little girl, but I feel like it's another boy. On team Green, and one of the reasons was the gender disappointment with my third pregnancy. (I know how horrible that sounds) 
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