First I have to say this topic is not to ignite a battle because I know people get worked up over this topic. I just need some feedback and thoughts, if any of you are facing similar situations.
So with DS, we both got Tdaps and so did my parents and it was no issue. DH's parents lived on the other side of the country, so it was a non issue for them. Since then, they have moved back here and would presumably be around baby a lot. We informed them of the need get these updated based on our doctors' recs. I've never been a militant flu shot/germaphobe-type person but having a newborn during peak illness season, plus having a kindergartener bringing in germs, I feel extra strongly about it this time. Well, fits ensued. I was afraid of it since they are definitely in conspiracy theory/anti-vax territory. However, I was hoping the health of their grandchild/wanting to spend time with her might be more persuasive.
Of course I'm pissed and, to be honest, rather hurt too, that they would argue something we view as very important for the baby's health in those early months, especially since the things she kept mentioning are myths that have been debunked over and over. We basically told them it was a non-negotiable and left it at that. MIL said she'd "think about it." I think they might actually refuse. And of course they have the right to do so, but then don't act like we are the bad guys for limiting contact until baby is vaccinated. There is a pattern with them of questioning and/or arguing decisions we have made regarding DS, so I already have a short fuse as I anticipate these confrontations. I'm not used to this since my family have always been very reasonable and respectful of our parenting. Have any of you run into this issue? What did you do or what is your plan for handling it if you do?
Me: 36 DH: 41
DS: 07/03/11
TTC #2: July 2016
BFP: 4/19/17 EDD: 12/31/17
Re: Tdap and flu shots for family
Me: 36 DH: 41
Me: 36 DH: 41
@ameliabedelia-2 I think most of the kids in our family are vaccinated but I'm still uneasy about having them around, just because they're all in school/daycare and generally covered 24/7 in some sort of mucus layer. Is that weird of me to be worried about? I want them to be able to meet their cousin but I feel like the environment needs to be verrrry controlled. I am not even entertaining the idea of non-family kids being around baby for the first six weeks or so, and am thinking about requesting all visitors to have had flu shots.
Something tricky is stomach bugs that time of year-- you can actually be contagious for up to two WEEKS after a GI virus, and when people love to bring you homemade food...
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
I'm most worried about my brother, TBH. He and his wife are moving here from China on 12 Nov, so they won't have time to get their medical insurance set up and either immunization before our kid is born. I have no idea when he last had a physical state-side... I'm tempted to tell them I'll pay for their drugstore flu shots, but I don't know how to get walk-in Tdaps. =\
Me: 36 DH: 41
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
But going back to your concerns if you feel that adamant about it I would get some more information on the shot as far as the suggestion of going to walgreens to get it. If it's something that's easily available and you even offer to pay the fee then they cant argue about any inconvenience.
@casace Their issue is not inconvenience or cost (although they may try to use that as an excuse), but rather they are apparently anti-vaxers who believe a bunch of BS about vaccines. This is why it especially angers me, but I wasn't sure if I was being OTT in insisting. I still feel like this is not going to be an optional thing for me.
@failuretofly This pretty much sums up my gut feeling too.
Me: 36 DH: 41
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN
IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
@kyrwyn you can absolutely walk into any minute clinic type place (CVS), and perhaps most pharmacies, to request a tdap similarly to a flu shot. you can call ahead to ask about costs without insurance. i hope your LO doesn't come early (for obvious reasons) but also so that your brother and SIL can be in the states for a month and have time for any weird exposures or germs they are carrying to become evident. i wouldn't only be worried about tdap, because mmr vaccination isn't for a year and exposure to measles can often happen when you're out of the country. my brother did not get to meet my DS for nearly a month but he understood - he was in europe for business for two weeks while i was giving birth, and then came down with something nasty on the trip back, so he waited a month to ensure he was not a stewpot of weird germs when coming to visit. i still really appreciate him for this, even if he likes to kid me about not letting him meet my son until he was a little older
i'm not trying to scare you, of course. i know you have an early due date and likely will not be allowed past 39 weeks or so due to GD, right?
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
Me: 36 DH: 41
However with that being said, this is important to you @alysapuggles and I'm echoing others that you should absolutely stick to your guns. Good luck!
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
Me: 36 DH: 41
Me: 36 DH: 41
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
In addition to the safety thing, I look at this as one of the first (of many) parenting decisions that we all need to make in terms of what we want for our children that others have the opportunity to respect or ignore. And to me, it's important to set expectations with our family that we have the final say. Whether you agree or not, you need to respect our decision.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
If anyone is fighting against the tdap vaccine, show them a video of a baby with whooping cough. It's absolutely devastating.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Sounds like I need to double (or is it triple now?) check that my mom and step-dad are up to date on immunizations, and get her on board with corralling my brother (& maybe SIL) to get jabbed as soon as the jet lag wears off.
Immigration vaccination requirement link:
https://https//www.cdc.gov/immigrantrefugeehealth/laws-regs/vaccination-immigration/revised-vaccination-immigration-faq.html
ETA: results of quick google query
Something I learned the first go-around is not to roll over on important issues--state them clearly and stand by your word. So, if you feel strongly about this, that's that.
Go, mama, go!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-brother-wont-get-pertussis-vaccine-in-order-to-see-new-niecenephew/2017/09/14/9642fdbe-94dd-11e7-8754-d478688d23b4_story.html?utm_term=.9b84ec91eec7
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
@anewadventure Thanks for posting that. I will be confirming with my doctor the timeframe they need to be limited contact and this is the approach we will take. I like taking the argument potential out of it. It will be a simple choice for them.
Edited for spelling
Me: 36 DH: 41