May 2018 Moms

PGAL 9/16

Ladies, let's talk about our fears, our symptoms.  What's bugging you today?

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Re: PGAL 9/16

  • Shima42Shima42 member
    edited September 2017
    My light cramping had gone away for a few days, and now it's back - with some pinkness.  I feel... wrong.  The air smells weird, like a high-pressure system is moving in.  I feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness.  I don't have an appointment until this coming Friday.  I have to try and keep it together.  Whatever is going to happen, will happen.  It's not like I haven't been here before.  I just wanted this to be my last pregnancy, so I didn't have to go through this anymore...  It's nice to swan along pretending that nothing will go wrong with this pregnancy until some ugly symptoms pop up.  F**k miscarriage.

  • I've been waiting for this thread. 

    We are a duel factor infertility couple. It took us 21 months to conceive our daughter and 20 months to conceive this bean. After the joy of sex and intimacy is robbed from you with fertility issues, adding a loss on top of it is just bullshit and cruel. We had a successful IUI in May and, from the beginning, things were never quite right. Lost the baby over July 4th weekend and ended with a D&C. 

    Numbers are all better this time but I still can't help wondering when that other shoe will drop. I'm going to be 36 soon and we are moving next summer. This is our last chance to have a kid here with my OB who I ADORE and trust implicitly and with amazing insurance. It just seems like it is too perfect to get our wish to come true: I'm having trouble trusting it. 
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  • I had these weird "niggles" on my left ovary side and I do not have a corpus luteum cyst, so I'm like what the ef is that?  I think it may be constipation and gas though.  Also I had a serious bleed last weekend and I am paranoid that will happen again.  Oh, and I have spotted brown blood since my bfp. I will be 8 weeks on Wednesday.  So pretty much every miscarriage symptom I had/have/will have. 
  • I'm kind of thinking that all these weird twinges and cramps and bloat and gas are good. I had none of these with my mmc. 
  • My morning sickness has slightly improved, which made me panicky, although the more logical explanation is that unisom and B6 and working. I am so anxious for my appointment Monday. I'm going to be a mess and I'm so worried something is going to be wrong when we go in. I POAS again yesterday and the test line appeared immediately. Its just such a mind game right now. 
  • I am very tired, but I don't have many other symptoms. So of course lack of symptoms makes me nervous.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @sparkymcgeee It's funny how we try to justify and unjustify things to ourselves.  You can't help not doing what you re doing. I do it too.  Also, I feel whatever though process helps me get through the day is fine no matter what even if it is a stop at crazyville. 


    My feelings are kind of just meh right now.  I feel like ultimate shit so it's hard to believe something could go wrong.  I've heard the shittier you feel the better. Hoping that is the case.  (Justifying this to myself.) Whenever my nausea or boob pain goes away I freak out.  But then it comes back and I wish I had just enjoyed the 3 hours I felt good!

    Also, I think it is silly for me to think about miscarriage right now.  It only makes my anxiety sky rocket.  And I am off anxiety meds for this pg and I can't let my mind go there. But it always seems to veer in that direction.

    I've found the app "insight" (free) totally helps with the bad thoughts.  There is this one series called "awake" ont he app that has the best positive affirmations. 
  • @sparkymcgeee you put some of my fears into words. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. My second was my son. And now I am pregnant for a 3rd time. I kind of feel like I am supposed to have a miscarriage before a healthy pregnancy b/c that's how it went last time. 
    Together since '07
    Married since '12
    Off the pill since 5/14
    BFP: 8/10/14 -- CP 8/22/14
    BFP: 12/10/15 -- Prayers requested

  • @sparkymcgeee you put some of my fears into words. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. My second was my son. And now I am pregnant for a 3rd time. I kind of feel like I am supposed to have a miscarriage before a healthy pregnancy b/c that's how it went last time. 
    Yeah it's that way for a few loss moms I know. Especially those with successful rainbows after their first pregnancy. I just wish it weren't like this. 


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    I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017

    Meimsx no more
  • This is my pregnancy after loss and I'm saying the same thing to myself even though I know you can have losses back to back. I'm convinced this will be our rainbow because the timing is perfect in that my OB whom I love will be able to deliver me before the move and because my progesterone is soooo much better than last time. (Even though I'm still doing PIO injections) 

    It's weird what we say to ourselves to make things okay. I don't think I'll relax until I have a pink squish in my arms. And then it's a different kind of stress. 
  • @sparkymcgeee, I have those weird thoughts and "rules" in my head as well.
    Our first were ivf babies after 2 losses and several years. I felt like we "earned them". This pregnancy was definitely wanted, but was a gigantic surprise it happened on its own. So I don't feel like we worked hard enough to deserve it, you know?
    Luckily, our RE was still willing to monitor me since we had just become return patients in their system. She knew she could watch me more closely than my OB and is ecstatic we didn't need her this time.

    I am trying to be more relaxed and be more positive this time around. I didn't get to really enjoy our twin pregnancy because we thought it was too good to be true. We spent a lot of time worrying and honestly, that did no good, only harm. So I'm trying hard to stay in the "whatever will be, will be. Nothing I do will change it" mindset. I even bought a stuffed animal after my first beta was taken and before we got the results. 

  • Me too! I'm constantly counting things as good or bad-- then the next day rewriting the rules to my own list! Ugh. We've had 3 losses over the last year. I agree that I want to be excited and just treasure every minute-- knowing getting pregnant is a big accomplishment (or so they keep telling me).  Worries didn't help last time, just so hard to know the right balance of being excited and positive vs too excited and unrealistic. 
    I'm so thankful for this thread. Making my crazy feel less crazy! :)  
    have a great positive day ladies -- full of those moments that remind us that everything is going to be ok! :) 
  • Oh my gosh, thank you for putting in to words my fears. In some ways I assume this pregnancy will end in loss because my first was a loss followed by a success. Since I just testing this weekend and found out, I'm still in a daze about it (and a lot of denial). But I am doing the same thing already now that I did last pregnancy. I preface everything with "if this pregnancy is successful" or "if this baby stays." I also have my head focused on "if this baby is meant to end in a miscarriage, please let it happen soon."

    I'm also going for a root canal tomorrow and I'm worried that it might cause issues. They say it won't and I want to believe. I actually had it scheduled for last week but put it off a week because my 15 month old needed me that day. I regret not just getting it done. Oh the worries.
  • Thank you for posting this thread! It's almost like a therapy session for us PGAL's!

    We had a loss before our DD, so I've been nervous since I got this BFP. We have passed the "magic week", but that hasn't helped me as much this go around as it did last time. It's so scary not knowing what's going to happen, and if it does, when that will be. I do keep trying to tell myself that since I have symptoms, all is good so that I don't focus so much on the possible negatives. I see the doctor tomorrow, so hopefully that will help wash away some of my fears.
    BFP 9/11/13   EDD 5/21/14   MC 9/20/13  <3
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP 2/25/14   EDD 11/5/14   BD 11/4/14
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    BFP 8/26/17  EDD  5/5/18
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I hope you ladies don't mind me popping in here. It's been 6 years since my loss (DS was 3 months when I got a surprise positive) This is my first pregnancy with DH (second marriage for each of us) but it's still a PGAL for me in a way. @sparkymcgeee I completely understand what you're saying, I had a loss before DS and then everything with him was perfect. Then the loss after, so I'm playing the mind game of 'I had the loss before this one, so I'm good' even though I know that's totally not how it works. but then I also have 'but it's been so long that the pattern can't matter now' pop into my head now and then.

    the mind games are the worst
    Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09
    DS born 3/11
    Angel Baby 3 6/28/11                                                         9/5/17 BFP!!
    divorced October 2014                                                       9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
    Married DH 10/15     DH's DS born 6/09                            9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
    Not preventing since 11/15                                                 EDD 5/8/18        Adjusted 5/15/18
    TTC since 1/1/16                                                                9/27/17 we have a heart beat!



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  • Like what @sparkymcgeee said above, unfortunately, it is all too normal and common. Even a bit taboo to talk about publicly. When I saw my doctor for my m/c, he said that the chances of having a m/c are 1/10 and that there's a good chance we've had a super early m/c and didn't know it, thinking it was just a rough period. It certainly doesn't take the worry away, but it does help understand some of the why's.
    BFP 9/11/13   EDD 5/21/14   MC 9/20/13  <3
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP 2/25/14   EDD 11/5/14   BD 11/4/14
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    BFP 8/26/17  EDD  5/5/18
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Like what @sparkymcgeee said above, unfortunately, it is all too normal and common. Even a bit taboo to talk about publicly. When I saw my doctor for my m/c, he said that the chances of having a m/c are 1/10 and that there's a good chance we've had a super early m/c and didn't know it, thinking it was just a rough period. It certainly doesn't take the worry away, but it does help understand some of the why's.
    It's actually closer to 1 in 4. 20% and it's heartbreaking. 


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017

    Meimsx no more
  • So heartbreaking. And unfair feeling. A huge part of me doesn't want the reality that miscarriage happens to frequently. I hate that I assume this pregnancy won't be successful because it protects my heart so much more than to get excited just to have to experience the loss.

    Driving myself a little crazy today. Three tests have been positive (faint) but both CB digital I've used have said not pregnant. And today I had some watery spotting for a minute. So I texted my husband that this one might not stick. I suppose I will stop driving myself mad and stop poas and just wait two weeks for my doctors appointment (that's not true. I'm totally just saying that and will 100% poas tomorrow morning).
  • @sandbar517 I keep hoping that is it. I keep trying not to play the counting game *if I ovulated this day then I should be this far along and my hcg should be enough to trigger it. But maybe I ovulated but took longer to implant so maybe I'm still in the early stages. But then again....*. It's like that math question of if a train leaves a station at this time, how many donuts did the dog eat. If I keep staring at the days and time frame between last period and today, the stick will magically turn positive.
  • I go for an 8 week ultrasound on Friday. Doctor says after that we will start them monthly and I was ok with it at first but now I'm scared. Scared I'll go in for my 12 week and it's not gonna be ok. I'm scared to go in Friday. I saw his/her heartbeat already and I don't have any reason to feel something will be wrong (no cramping, no bleeding, still nauseated and exhausted) but I can't help it. 

    Rylee 2.18.09
    Kaitlyn 12.20.09 (36 week preemie)
    Ziva 8.12.13 (31 week preemie)

    Losses: 2.3.17 - 4.19.17 - 7.25.17 

    BFP: 8.16.17 Heartbeat: 9.8.17 EDD: 5.1.18
  • @jessnoel89 yes!! I just need babe here and safe and then I can figure it out from there!

    @3littles3angels that fear sucks and zaps all the excitement out of these appointments, doesn't it?? Instead of waiting with baited breath for a glimpse, we wait, holding our breaths, with hope that we will hear that thud thud thud of a heart beat or that the technician will find the baby right away and give us some indication that every thing is "ok".
  • edited September 2017
    I know this makes me sound crazy, but I had a good feeling when I found out I was pregnant this time. With my m/c before DD2, I just felt that it wasn't meant to be and something was off from the minute I got the BFP. Didn't make having a m/c any easier. 
    But I just can't help feeling constantly doomed. Every time I feel wet down there I'm convinced it's blood. Every time I wipe I prepare myself to see blood. Every cramp I feel I'm convinced is the end of the line. Every symptom that disappears feels like the baby is disappearing, too. And it's horrible to go through pregnancy this way. 
    I have my first appointment tomorrow and I'm just besides myself with worry. I'm also scrambling to find someone to watch my girls since I'm a dummy and forgot they have off school this week. There's no way I can take them to the place they KNOW is the "baby doctors" and have them not figure it out, and I cannot face telling them that they won't be big sisters, all while dealing with a blow I don't know I'm prepared to handle. 

    All the positive vibes to the women here. 

  • @yesthisiskim0401 Yes - every time I wipe I am so nervous about seeing blood. Sometimes I'll go to the bathroom just to make sure there isn't any.

    I am also freaking out about my thyroid levels since they were too high when they got tested on Saturday. High TSH can cause miscarriage. I just read a study by the American Thyroid Association that states my current level didn't indicate a higher mc risk, which is helping relieve my stress a bit, but I will be nervous until I test again in 4 weeks.
  • @justsuzie I know, right? I can't help myself from searching. And since it was a legit source, I feel OK about it.
  • @yesthisiskim0401 Yes! I felt the exact same way with my last pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. I just *knew* it wasn't going to happen. I never believed I would have a baby in January. Didn't make it any easier to lose the baby only because I then convinced myself I willed it to happen, but still. I felt it in my gut. 

    This time is totally a different sensation. I can see that baby in my arms. I can picture feeling the first movement and sharing with family. I am planning the pregnancy announcement.  It feels right this time. 
  • @yesthisiskim0401 Yes! I felt the exact same way with my last pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. I just *knew* it wasn't going to happen. I never believed I would have a baby in January. Didn't make it any easier to lose the baby only because I then convinced myself I willed it to happen, but still. I felt it in my gut. 

    This time is totally a different sensation. I can see that baby in my arms. I can picture feeling the first movement and sharing with family. I am planning the pregnancy announcement.  It feels right this time. 
    Exactly! I'm glad I'm not alone. I think our good feelings mean a lot more than our worries. 

  • @yesthisiskim0401 you are definitely not alone! This is the first pregnancy where I feel like everything is going to be ok, I don't have the looming sense of doom that I had with both m/c's but honestly even with DS I had it until I hit second tri.

    I'm not sure how old your girls are but do any of the libraries or parks around you have programs during the week? a lot of the ones around here will do like longer reading groups during the day and some of them you can just drop off- if you're comfortable and they're old enough of course. Also, some churches that have daycare will take drop-ins during school closings. just a thought. good luck!
    Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09
    DS born 3/11
    Angel Baby 3 6/28/11                                                         9/5/17 BFP!!
    divorced October 2014                                                       9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
    Married DH 10/15     DH's DS born 6/09                            9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
    Not preventing since 11/15                                                 EDD 5/8/18        Adjusted 5/15/18
    TTC since 1/1/16                                                                9/27/17 we have a heart beat!



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  • @GeekBeagle ANd totally forgot to formally congratulate you on the BFP! Welcome and congrats!
  • Well, I've spent the morning over googling and worrying myself that this will be another loss.
    Literally no reason, nothing happened, no bleeding or cramps- just free time in my brain.
  • Hey ladies! Just intro'd yesterday. Hope it's ok I just jump in.

    today I'm having a scared today. So that's so fun.  :|

    but i have a question. I just called my OB to tell her about the positive tests cause she had said when I find out, call her right away. I figured for beta checks or just to get me on the ultrasound schedule for a couple wks from now. But they have me coming in tomorrow? I'm 2 seconds pregnant. So I'm assuming I'm basically going to pay a $40 copay for a pee stick and her to hand me scripts... that can be sent electronically  :D
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • Possibly to do blood tests and check levels. Or to say hi and take your money.  ;-)
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