TTCAL Check-in Week of 9/4

zamoraspin · September 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again?

MrsBunz · September 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC in March

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I start PT today for my hip and I'm never sure how to answer the "could you be pregnant" question during the TWW. It's like, "yes hopefully I could, so please don't do any moves you wouldn't do with a PG lady, but also I don't want to say it out loud or on paper because that might jinx it." I'm also feeling really crampy, which is how I felt before my last bfp, which then ended in MC, so I'm nervous.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day?
Probably our wedding day. I'd like to go back and just let the insults from my MIL roll off my back and enjoy the day instead of letting her upset me.

Eta spelling and words

catlady1215 · September 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
losses sept 2016 and dec 2016

Status: ttc/wto

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
yesterday, last year, was the start of my first loss. crazy to think its already been a year now. But I should be ovulating in the next few days.. so focusing on this cycle.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
OPKs? lol

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again?
wedding day. it really goes by to fast! I don't think I'd change much except some timing issues which made the AM not so relaxing. But I'd just love to enjoy the day again and see stuff I missed the first time!

ChloandCoco · September 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. First loss in June 2017 (dx as a blighted ovum) and second loss in August 2017 (dx CP).

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going well this week. I got a haircut on the weekend and it really helped to make me feel like I'm starting fresh. Rant: I've been having cramps for the last 4-5 days and I keep thinking I'm about to start my period

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Not this week.

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again? I would go back to our vacation in Hawaii, it was such a wonderful time and I just want to experience it again.

@MrsBunzI completely understand the nervous feeling, and I wish there was something I could say that would help to ease that feeling, but there isn't. I hope this is your cycle and the feeling goes away once you get a positive.
@catlady1215It's good to focus on this cycle and I count OPKs as testing.

icecubeinthedesert · September 2017

@mrsbunz, that's a loaded question for sure. I try to remind myself it's just for medical purposes and I'm the only one reading into it so much.

@catlady1215, I'm right there with you. I started spotting with my first miscarriage one year ago this Saturday. Big hugs. Let me know if you need to talk to someone more about it. I'm only a PM away.

@ChloandCoco, it's amazing how something like a haircut can put us in a great mood. Good luck this TWW!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMCs in September 2016 and March 2017

Status: WTO, CD3

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? We're officially back to full on TTC mode, instead of our TTA/NTNP last month due to timing for my sister's wedding and DH having a work/school transition. AF showed earlier than expected, and either my CM was off or I had a 9 day LP. FX it was the former, as my LP has been 11-12 days other than my first cycle off BCP almost two years ago. It could be that this was the first cycle I didn't take progesterone after taking it the last three months.
I'm trying to make some positive changes this month. I'm cutting back on drinking, as I found myself really just grabbing a beer to put myself in a better, less anxious mood. I'm also challenging myself to do yoga every day for at least the next month, and making healthier eating choices. I'm already feeling calmer and happier!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? nope

GTKY: I'll also go with my wedding day. There was a lot of drama and the day just went too far to appreciate it.

MrsBunz · September 2017

Oops that was supposed to say, crampy not cranky, though I'm probably feeling pretty cranky because I'm so crampy.

zamoraspin · September 2017

@MrsBunz I'm sorry that question was triggering. If it makes you feel less alone, I had that happen the other week. I went to get some vaccinations at the Minute Clinic and the nurse practitioner asked me if I was pregnant and got more answer than she bargained for.
@catlady1215 I'm glad you are able to look forward, that type of anniversary is hard.
@ChloandCoco Sorry for the cramps. I'm glad you like your new hairdo!
@icecubeinthedesert Those sound like great goals this month. I had to change the habit of reaching for an adult beverage (usually wine) every day after work. I really liked to come home and have a glass or two of wine while I made dinner, so I cut down to only booze on the weekend, and limited that. At first it was hard - one thing that helped was having some of my favorite LaCroix flavors on hand to have instead. GL! I confess I've backslid a little the past few weeks but am trying to get back with the program.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC in June, CP in August.

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Doing ok right now. It helps to know that we have the RE appt coming up very soon so if this cycle doesn't work out we will be getting some expert eyes on the situation. We are going to visit TW my little newborn niece end TW and the rest of my family Thursday night through Tuesday and I'm very excited about that trip.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just OPKs, finally got a positive one today.

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again? Just like y'all I would love to go through my wedding day again. It was really lovely but as others have said, it went by too fast. A second would be reliving an early family vacation when my mom and dad were still married. They were separated when I was 7 and I don't really have memories of us all together as a family.

ChloandCoco · September 2017

@icecubeinthedesertThat's awesome that you are back into TTC mode and making some healthy changes this month. FX it's your month!
@zamora_spinYay for a positive OPK and enjoy your family time.

kindbytealikat · September 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. First loss August 2017

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Everything is still very fresh for me and everything is IDK right now. This in general drives me crazy. I am a planner and not even having a timeline right now stresses me out. I just stopped post procedure bleeding so I haven't even started temping or anything yet. Emotionally I don't think I'm ready to. All that said I don't know how to know when we're ready to start again either. DH and I haven't even tried to talk about it yet. Sorry for the novel just a lot in my head today.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? My OB F/U isn't until the 27th so I have a long month of waiting ahead of me.

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again? I'm also going to say my wedding day. I wouldn't change anything except to slow things down and take it all in more and better.

ChloandCoco · September 2017

@kindbytealikat I'm so sorry you find yourself here, but this is the right place to unload everything you are feeling. I'm a planner too and found the unknown after a loss really hard. I hope you take all the time you need to grieve, and remember that it's ok to not be ok.

holly321 · September 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
mmc in 2/12 and currently going through a nmc

Status:.
benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I am doing ok (still have some ugly moments) TW, at the back to school open house, DD kept telling everyone that I no longer had a baby in my belly, it was hard. She is emotionally a-okay with it at least. Something well, in a silver lining kind of way... My rheumatologist wanted to wait to start a new medication, because pregnancy should make my disease go in remission, but it didn't, so I get to start it now and it should make a huge difference in my pain levels.
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
I had a pre-op appointment today for a D&c on Thursday. (Side note, my super sweet on called this morning to check in on me before he knew I was for sure having the surgery.)
GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again?
The last time I saw my brother. I would change it. He had stopped by my parents house with his kids, unexpectedly, and we were there baking Christmas cookies (which included peanut butter cookies and nephew is allergic) I was distant, physically because I was afraid to hurt my nephew, so I didn't hug him or anything when he left.

@MrsBunz, gl with physical therapy. In my experience, when they ask that question, and I say maybe, I have had to take a test.

@catlady1215, *hugs* sorry for he anniversary. They are the worst.

@icecubeinthedesert , gl with cutting back on drinking. I was finding myself reaching too quickly when I was in a bad mood. And GL with yoga, it makes such a difference.

@kindbytealikat, I Soooo get what you mean about planning. That's the reason I told my OBgyn today I HAD to have a d&c. I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore.

catlady1215 · September 2017

@mrsbunz fx for you this tww! I would just say that yah we are trying to get pregnant and leave it at that.

@chloandcoco fx for you! I'd love to get to Hawaii one day.. if it wasn't for the long flights.

@icecubeinthedesert thank you! sending you many hugs also. those anniversaries suck.

@Zamora_spin yay for the pos opk. and even better, before the trip. have a great time!

@kindbytealikat don't apologize, that's what this thread is for. I'm sorry you're here with us. and take time getting back into temping/trying. let your self heal mentally also. sending hugs.

@holly321 keeping you in my thoughts this week. *hugs*

pumpkinpancake · September 2017

Status: in my first TWW post loss! (I think), though technically still benched, we ended up ntnp.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? yesterday and today I've been having a rough time of it. Between everything going on in the world and my loss, I can't shake this feeling that everything is just going downhill fast.

Also, I don't know what's worse.. having to have a D&C in the first place, or then having to pay a $923 bill for it 5 weeks later. :-/

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I guess sometime next week I'll end up POAS for the hell of it, since I have cheap ones. Otherwise no.

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again? I would probably relive my wedding day, so that i could actually enjoy/experience it. I have almost no memory of the day, it was such a blur.

@icecubeinthedesert that's great that you're making positive changes! I keep telling myself in need to get back into exercise/yoga, but I always end up with excuses. I should just do it, like you!

@kindbytealikat so sorry that you're here but we can certainly all relate. I felt the same way about the uncertainty, which is why I ended up going with the D&C. Mentally, I couldn't handle not knowing when it would happen, and I just wanted to control at least one piece of it. I ended up starting temping again sooner than I told myself I would, mostly because I wanted to get an idea of what my body's doing now. It's hard to know for sure when you're ready to try again, but for me at least, focusing on TTC again helped slightly to ease the pain because I started thinking about the hopeful outcome and not just on what happened.

zamoraspin · September 2017

@kindbytealikat I'm sorry for your loss. I'm a planner too and I understand how hard uncertainty is and how much you need a plan. I found my first cycle after mc it was helpful to track and just see what my body was doing to pass the time. In my case I also did some fertility related reading but that was largely because I am 35. Does your dr want to check your hCG before they clear you? As frustrating as that is, it can be important to make sure everything has cleared.
@pumpkinpancake I'm so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry about the medical bills. It really sucks to get those reminders in the mail. I didn't have a d&c but my bills for my loss appts trickled in and it was really painful for a while to open the mail, I kept bursting into tears.
@holly321 I will be thinking of you and hope your procedure goes smoothly tomorrow. It sucks that you have to go through that. It does help a little to take some control over it though.

holly321 · September 2017

@pumpkinpancake, ouch to that bill. I remember getting the bill with my first d&c TW it cost me more that my csection with DD did! End TW. It isn't fair they are so expensive, especially when a similar procedure but for very different reasons is generally done for free....... And good luck with the TWW

pumpkinpancake · September 2017

@holly321 thanks for the reply. At almost $1000 after insurance paid their part, I can't imagine what it would be without. Also, yes to what you said about it not being fair... why do we have to pay so much when similar procedures done by choice can be much cheaper if not free? Hope all goes smoothly with your procedure tomorrow.

dpjennifer · September 2017

Status: Benched.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? AF will be here any day and I'm not sleeping, so feeling ALL the things right now. Pretty much hate the world. *sigh* The weather is not helping.

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again? Probably part of my honeymoon in Australia. Not sure which day I would choose, but one of those days!

MrsBunz Easiest way I’ve found to deal with that question is to just say “NO” unless you’ve seen a line on a test! Sorta like ‘drink til it’s pink’ for medical reasons.

kindbytealikat Type A, OCD planner here as well! TTCAL has forced me to be way more ‘go with the flow’ than I’d ever imagined I’d be able to be in my life!

holly321 pumpkinpancake Sorry about the bill! And yeah, the injustice of the insurance is just astounding to me. Not only for what you can get charged to have a MC, and for everything surrounding that, but how utterly unhelpful they are when it comes to having serious issues with TTCAL. It’s ludicrous!

kindbytealikat · September 2017

Can I just vent for a minute....I'll put in spoiler for those that want to listen.

So our insurance company has been trying to get a hold of me I didn't know because they had been calling DH's phone, and he didn't tell me because I've been dealing with a sick toddler. Anyway today he asked me if I would see what they want because they called again. So after putting me on hold for 10 minutes they wanted to know how my pregnancy was going and to enroll me in the pregnant woman's program they offer. If this miscarriage had been completely natural i'd cut them some slack that they didn't have anything in my records to indicate. However it wasn't and resulted in an ER visit and a D&C. Hey insurance company think you should check most recent activity of the insurance before making a call such as this!!! OK rant over.

icecubeinthedesert · September 2017

@kindbytealikat, ugh that's the worst! I hope you put in a complaint. I hate dealing with the insurance companies. It seems to work to their advantage to make people feel even worse about what they are going through so that they just give up and don't dispute emotional claims. How are you doing, insensitive call aside?

dpjennifer · September 2017

kindbytealikat PLEASE tell me you gave the insurance company a piece of your mind!!!!

ChloandCoco · September 2017

@kindbytealikat That is the worst! I would be absolutely livid!

kindbytealikat · September 2017

I was to upset and caught off guard to be mad when I had them on the phone. At this point I don't know how to go about making a complaint but I'll probably look into it tomorrow.

starla · September 2017

@icecubeinthedesert I've been trying to be healthy, which includes not drinking during the week (Mon-Thurs) and having limited drinks on the weekend. I've also been exercising and eating well. I find it helps to be doing something that gives me back a sense of control. TTC is stressful especially after loss and it makes me feel better to feel like I'm doing everything I can to have a healthy pregnancy next time.

@holly321 I hope the procedure went OK and that you're not in too much pain. Hugs.

@kindbytealikat I'm sorry you find yourself here... and FU to your insurance!

@pumpkinpancake Ouch! Talk about salt in the wound!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Two late first tri MMC. Last one was at the beginning of August.

Status:
BENCHED and WTO (CD35)

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Not good. Mad at my body for being dumb. I had a stretch of like 5 days of fertile CM and temp didn't go up.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Physical with my doctor in a couple weeks. Will ask for testing and/or referral.

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again?
Our honeymoon in the Caribbean.

WildMagelet · September 2017

@kindbytealikat - That would put me in a foul mood! I had a lesser experience with this with baby/childbirth propaganda in the mail from the Children's Hospital I had to go see when we were diagnosed with the hygroma, a few weeks after I called to cancel my appointment because of our MMC.

Question! For those of you who had some sort of medical intervention prior to your loss (metformin, ovulation therapy, IUI, IVF, etc. - How long did you (or are you) waiting before going back on schedule? We were slated to start Clomid with the RE prior to our BFP. I'm uncertain as to how long I want to wait before making a follow-up with her now that I've been cleared by the OB.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

TTC almost 2 years prior to BFP. Rx was Metformin for PCOS-Tendencies. 1st PG/1st MC diagnosed 7/28 followed by induction & subsequent D&C on 8/4. Edwards Syndrome (originally misdiagnosed as Turner's) with cystic hygroma & subsequent hydrops.

Status: Benched, CD 39, waiting for either signs of O or an anovulatory AF at this point.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Decent, I guess. DH & I discussed TTCAL last week and decided we were going to jump right into it. Last week we were on vacation in the Ozarks. I'm a bit banged up from an unfortunate incident between my kayak and a downed tree

but the bruises were totally worth it. I did NOT want to go back to work today!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I had my post-op today. I missed a call from my OB's office telling me my new OB (the super awesome one that saw me through my MC) wasn't going to be in the office. I ended up missing DSS's football game because despite being told I could be seen at my normal appointment time (I was there early) I ended up waiting over an hour to see some random PRN-type OB instead. I was so flustered and nervous about the whole thing I was practically in tears by the time I got to the exam room. I didn't recognize ANYONE - Front Desk, Nurses, Rad Techs, Anybody. Finally I saw the nurse that was with us on our visit when we were diagnosed with the MC and calmed down a bit. Apparently nobody can bother to glance at a chart because I had to go through practically my entire life story, including my journey 2 year journey of IF before our BFP and subsequent MC & surgery, which was the whole point of that appointment. Part of me wishes I would have just rescheduled but part of me is relieved its over with. She was talking like we were going to be BFFs when we get PGAL but she is sorely mistaken.

GTKY: If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be? Would you change anything or just enjoy the day again?

Our wedding day, surrounded by our loved ones - just to enjoy the day again. Either that or a random day last week while we were on vacation for the same reasons. I just love loving on DH I guess

kindbytealikat · September 2017

@WildMagelet that's sounds awful I'm sorry

zamoraspin · September 2017

@WildMagelet I don't know for sure the answer to your question re when to resume treatment with the RE. If you were on metformin, are you still on it? I believe it is safe for pg right? If you went off I would look at going back on as soon as you can as it takes a while to work if you have an-O cycles linked with insulin resistance.

If you're not happy with your OB's office I would call the RE's office and let them know about the pregnancy and loss, explain how long it took to get ku, and tell them you'd like to start trying again as soon as you are physically able and ask for next steps.

WildMagelet · September 2017

@zamora_spin I wasn't really looking for anyone to answer it for me - obviously when I go on any sort of further medication will be between myself and my HCP. I was just curious how quickly others had decided to pursue further medical treatment for IF after loss. The RE took me off of the metformin as soon as the the HB was confirmed. I plan on contacting my nurse to ensure they're fine with me resuming it. I'd rather not go back in for another appointment quite yet as the RE's office is in another city and I'm not sure I want to go forward with ovulation therapy just yet since we didn't use it before.

I actually *adore* the OB that diagnosed my MMC and was there for my D&C. I would not hesitate to go back to her for a second. I just found the whole experience with my follow-up with the stand-in doc to be unsettling and insensitive. I feel like the whole situation could have been handled better if she had communicated with any of the staff I had spoke to earlier in the appointment or looked at my chart prior to seeing me. Having to go through every detail of my MMC, the reasons behind it, and then every step of my 2 year IF journey prior was a bit much.

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