PGAL Check-In 9/1

becausescience · September 2017

This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.

How far along are you?

Any appointments coming up?

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail?

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans!

Question: See post below and give opinion here. If you have no opinion you can just ignore this

becausescience · September 2017

Question: Do we want to continue the PGAL thread as a weekly thread or change it to monthly?

The monthly thread could be rolling through the whole month, but wouldn't have as much of a weekly check-in vibe, more of a check in at the beginning of the month and then conversation the rest of the time.

If we'd like to keep it weekly is there somebody who is willing to start it every week (technically "supposed" to be Wednesday), as I start school next week and have an overload semester.

becausescience · September 2017

How far along are you?

10w3d

Any appointments coming up?

NT scan is 9/15 and next OB is 9/19

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I'm really nervous for the NT scan. I just keep imagining getting bad news and am having a hard time not knowing if the baby is okay. I also feel like as a STM I should be starting to look a bit pregnant, but I'm not even bloated. I'm still tired, but haven't had MS. I am also worried because I found out my TSH was high (like high 4) and for pregnancy many Drs want TSH between 1-2.5 So now I'm worried that my low thyroid caused some issue. (I'm on medication now and working with an endocrinologist.)

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail?

I'd open a bakery/cookie decorating business. Everybody (ok my family...) says my decorated cookies are amazing, but I feel like a bakery is huge financial risk I'm just not willing to take.

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans!

I think we're grilling out with my parents and siblings. And hopefully having some s'mores that I bought for DD's birthday last weekend, but it rained and we didn't get to make them.

Question: I'm fine with either.

justkeeptrying · September 2017

How far along are you? 10+4

Any appointments coming up? Next Friday with my OB. Then still waiting to hear when my NT scan will be.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): Overall I'm doing okay. This morning I had some panic again. I've been having loads of discharge lately that makes me think I'm bleeding and terrifies me. Keep going to check and then it's just yucky discharge.

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail? I'd love to be a Broadway performer. Ah to live in New York and just perform! Would love it!

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans! DH had an extended long weekend so we've been relaxing at home and running errands. We have a family BBQ tomorrow and my birthday dinner with my parents on Sunday. Monday will just be a relaxing day.

Question: I like the check in. And it also keeps the thread from not getting bumped too far down. Although I like how active our little circle is already. I really appreciate this group. I feel a lot closer to most of you because I struggle remembering all the user names. I can try to remember to start it each week if no one else wants to.

pettycrocker · September 2017

How far along are you? 12+

Any appointments coming up? NT on Weds

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I'm ok... Some days I feel some of the 1st tri crap is letting up, other days I feel like a pile of garbage. No motivation to do much.

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail? Become the first lady President of the US. Duh.

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans! Absolutely nothing, but I should probably do something with my girls... Argh

Question: See post below and give opinion here. If you have no opinion you can just ignore this- I didn't see the other post but judging from the other responses I'll say that I look forward to this post weekly. Some weeks I'm fine, but some weeks PGAL brain is especially daunting and I like having a place to connect with others who know how that feels. I'll post the check in if you're unable to do it anymore. Wednesdays is fine with me.

pettycrocker · September 2017

@justkeeptrying I'll check to see if you've started it yet, otherwise I will just be your back up, that works just fine

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

How far along are you?

15+4

Any appointments coming up?

Next Friday

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I'm okay. I've had an achey pelvic floor and abdomen, mostly in the mornings, trying not to panic but it's hard not to. Summer ends Monday and I'm feeling pretty down about my 2 going back to school. I felt so icky from July on so we really didn't do much of anything. So much sitting around and Netflix. I feel like I should tell them I'm sorry or something. I don't even know. I'm just extra emotional.

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail?
Honestly, I don't know. I'd love to have my own party planning business! If I could make it big, make it worth it, and mostly work from home, I would be all about it!

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans!
I'm on a mad hunt for narrow shoes for DD. We have tried nearly every shoe under the sun and the only shoes that seem to fit width wise are jellies which she cannot wear at school because of rocks on the playground. Monday we will probably do one last mini hoo-rah for Summer. Haven't decided what yet, but kid friendly!

Question: See post below and give opinion here. If you have no opinion you can just ignore this
I really like checking in weekly. Once threads get really long I start forgetting who is saying what.

SP128 · September 2017

How far along are you? 12 weeks

Any appointments coming up? Nope. Next one is on 9/18. It's an u/s and an OB appointment. I feel like it is such a long time away. Will have to take a day off of work for it. Grrrrrrrr. Anyone else's OB have less than ideal working hours?

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I'm doing ok. I'm starting work on Tuesday. I haven't announced yet and don't plan on it until 20 weeks or so. I work in two schools and one school is notoriously nosy and lack social skills. Not looking forward to the extra long stares and the whispering. I'm also nervous because since finding out I have been on summer break. Going back to work will be a big shock to my system. Right now, I rest a couple times a day. I work my second job on Mondays and Tuesdays too so those will be extra long days.

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail? I'm not sure at the moment. Probably something lucrative and fulfilling at the same time : )

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans! Absolutely nothing. Pretty boring around here. DH works most weekends and I'm going to anticipate that he is going to be forced to work a double shift today : / I need to gear up for work starting on Tuesday. Aka: cleaning, stocking up the fridge, laundry. We will see how much of it I actually do.

Question: See post below and give opinion here. If you have no opinion you can just ignore this.
I like the weekly threads. Sometimes toward the end of the thread I have a hard time keeping up as is. This is the thread that I participate the most in. I really enjoy the support this thread brings.

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

@SP128 We prefer afternoon appointments so that DH doesbt have to take the entire day off, but sometimes it's impossible to get the latest appt (which is 1) and we still have a 40 minute drive to get there (my MFM).

SP128 · September 2017

@chasingroygbiv I got the "you crazy girl?" look when I asked for a 3:15 pm appointment. Seems like with them every appointment is an "extra long" appointment. I live about 15 minutes away from my OB and it is about 30 minutes from my work.

becausescience · September 2017

@SP128 My OB has one day a week that she is there until 5 so I can get a 4:15pm appt. Luckily I work until 3:10pm (or later, I am a teacher after all). But ultrasounds have terrible time options. I always need to take a half day for those.

SP128 · September 2017

@becausescience I work in a school too so get out at 2:30. Jealous of you. We can't take half days.

hdaley · September 2017

Well telling DS didn't go well. He is now throwing a temper tantrum and won't talk to us. And he told us he doesn't want to be a big brother. I told him baby was in my tummy. He proceeded to push on my stomach. At least he has awhile to get used to it.

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@hdaley, how old is he? Hopefully this is just a phase and he gets more positive about it soon! I'm sorry!

eller-2 · September 2017

How far along are you? 11w1d

Any appointments coming up? I have the NT scan and follow-up with an OB a week from Monday.

How are you doing? It's been a tough week... one of my worst anxiety-wise, waiting for the NIPT results. My status on the Counsyl site just changed to the last step (clinical review), so I think there's a chance I'll see the results this weekend if Counsyl has people working on the weekend and my doc office is on it (I think they get the results and then have to approve the online release of results to me), but probably more likely I'll get them Tuesday or Wednesday. Not sure why - maybe a good night's sleep - but today I'm feeling less panicked about getting the results. All week I've been wondering if I actually want them, though - I might skip this test next time around.

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail? Something that would be an entire career change. Lately I've been drawn to nursing or something in the medical field, even though I don't have a background in science. Retiring from the corporate world and freelancing sounds pretty awesome too, although I don't have the guts (or skills, probably).

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans! We're having friends over for dinner tomorrow, which will be fun. Otherwise, unfortunately, I'll just be working a lot - definitely all day today, likely most of Monday.

Question: I like the weekly check-ins. It's nice to have an easy time to jump back in if I've been not so involved in the conversation.

I feel for those of you whose OBs have terrible hours or who have to take official time off work for appointments. My job has a lot of negatives (working nights and weekends can be more common than not), but it's flexible during the workweek, so I can work from home for a half day and get an appointment in. I have to bill my time, so there's no faking how much I'm working, but it's nice to have some flexibility.

hdaley · September 2017

@justkeeptrying he is 5

becausescience · September 2017

@hdaley Sorry DS didn't respond well. I'm don't have much experience with 5yos, but there must be books detailing how awesome being a big brother is. Has he had bad experiences around babies in the past? Does he have friends at school who've had siblings recently?

blinksmb · September 2017

How far along are you? 11 weeks tomorrow

Any appointments coming up? A few random blood tests here and there, then Nt in a week and a half.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I'm doing okay, still really, unrelentingly sick. I had a partial molar last year so the more sick I become the scarier it gets, since the molar caused me to have hormones upwards of 400s of thousands. I've seen the baby on ultrasound a few times and they say levels are within normal range, but they didn't see the tumors on ultrasound last time either. I'm a mess!

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail?
Some kind of Captain America, Super Woman-esque war ending maneuver. Or successfully construct a time machine.

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans!
None! Too sick to venture into the world and risk smelling food, but I'm trying to talk my husband into bringing my 2 year old to a Moana themed book reading / "island party"

Question: See post below and give opinion here. If you have no opinion you can just ignore this

I like weekly check ins but I'm new here so I'm not sure if my vote counts yet!

maureenbioni · September 2017

My husbands aunts first response to us announcing was "finally! We all wondered what was taking so long!"

i didnt mention our multiple losses but kind of wish I had. People need to THINK before they speak.and this for some reason has been bugging me ALL a week now.

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@maureenbioni, this is actually part of the reason I'm so thankful we've been so open about our losses. DS is 2, and we've had many comments for the past year about why we haven't given him a sibling yet. Depending on the who the person is, I have no issue with saying "well actually..." and putting them straight. People need to learn to shut up, mind their own business, and have SOME level of sensitivity in them!

Total side note, but I found out today that a couple I know just adopted a 16 month old. They've been married for almost 10 years and are both teachers who LOVE kids. My DH and I wonder if they've had fertility struggles and are now fortunately able to adopt! I am so excited for them. And would never ever EVER dream of making any sort of comment of "Finally!" Or "what took you so long!" Because it's common sense NOT TO say anything!!!!!!!! I hope no one makes these insensitive remarks to them.

fatstagnation · September 2017

@justkeeptrying what??? Two years is not at all a long time to wait between kids. People are so weird.

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@fatstagnation, I feel like the general public thinks everyone wants their kids to be 2 years apart. And don't get me wrong, that was our initial plan. If we hadn't hadn't our losses, our kids would've been 2 years apart. But things don't always work out the way you WANT them to!

ishmoney · September 2017

How far along are you?

11+2 today

Any appointments coming up?

9/18 next midwifery appt. Decided not to do the NT scan since my Informaseek screenings came back negative. So no u/s until 20 weeks.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I'm okay. Eating a lil more but everything still smells and tastes weird. Not wanting to share about my pregnancy, realizing that I'm a bit more private (with the public) than I thought.

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail?
I love planning and acting. I would love to plan ANY type of event, esp ones with no budget. I've acted in the past and I really enjoyed it.

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans!
Chilled with friends and now...trying to organize my house!!

Question: See post below and give opinion here. If you have no opinion you can just ignore this
I need a weekly check-in! I look forward to it but since going back to work, my days are PACKED.

BUT, I can be back-up to the back-up, @justkeeptrying and @pettycrocker!

senora76 · September 2017

Hi Ladies - It was so great to unplug for a few days, but I missed you all!

How far along are you? 10+2 (today)

Any appointments coming up? Tomorrow is my NIPT and 1 hour glucose blood draw, 9/18 is the NT

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I feel confident about the pregnancy but sometimes I feel I'm more confident than I should be...I need to get through the next week or so til I get those NIPT results in my hot little hands. We lost Mars 6 months ago on Wednesday... I can't stop thinking about that day... My husband is having a hard time too... We miss him so much.

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail? Quit my job and travel the world with my family - with us all learning 10 different languages... What does GTKY mean? I know it means something like question of the week but I've always wondered!!

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans! Camping in Big Sur! I must say 10 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby at 3 weeks shy of age 41 is not the best look in a bikini...! Honestly though, my vanity is the least of my concerns these days after the year I've had... it was lovely to get away - my best friend from SF with her husband came down to meet us...I never get enough time with her so it was a great weekend. Lots of laughing and only a little bit of crying.

Question: See post below and give opinion here. If you have no opinion you can just ignore this - I love this little group - I'm good either way but if majority wants weekly resets thats fine with me...

@hdaley My 11 year old was so upset last year when I told him I was expecting - he was mad no one consulted with him... As a single mom I consulted my boys on every life change - like when Jose moved in with us - it was all for one one for all -so when I unexpectedly fell pregnant, he was super mad - I was shocked he reacted that way! It took him about 30 min convo and he was over it and then was super excited... Back when I was expecting him, my oldest son was 2 1/2 and I took a sibling class with him.. got him really excited about it... I never had a 5 year old tho to deal with at the time... 5 year olds are so stubborn! You have months to go to get him excited about it.

@eller-2 good luck with the NIPT...! My clock starts ticking tomorrow and I'm incredibly nervous too!

@ishmoney I'm not comfortable telling anyone either - I'm a very private person now, and I'm still on a break from facebook and instagram... I don't know if I will ever go back. Everything smells and tastes weird to me too... and not in a good way!

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

@ishmoney I initially intended on announcing at 12 weeks.. then 16.. I'm 16 weeks and now I'm aiming to announce at 18+ weeks after our anatomy scan.. at least to the rest of my family. HA. No one on DH's side knows yet, nor does my best friend. Mine is a mix of fear and privacy, but with DS and DD the world knew by 10 weeks. PGAL definitely has changed that for us..

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@senora76, this milestone must be so hard for you. I hope you're taking some time to do something in remembrance of your special boy.

GTKY means Getting To Know You!

justkeeptrying · September 2017

Also, it sounds like most people are open to having this continue as a weekly thread. I'm happy to take over. I'll try to post on Wednesday mornings. But if anyone doesn't see it and wants to start it, feel free. I'm relying on @pettycrocker and @ishmoney to be my official back up! Thanks ladies!!!

senora76 · September 2017

Morning... at the lab now... waiting 45 min for the glucose test then giving my blood all in one shot... so the genetic counseloe gave me the verify NIPT paperwork and blood tube a couple weeks ago and maybe i never noticed before but the tube has condensation in it... i hope this doesnt mess with my results!!!!

@justkeeptrying 6 mos is hard... the full moon last night was hard, Mars was born the night after that supermoon in November... this morning was a double whammy, I had to pass the daycare (where he took a nap and never woke up) and the NIPT blood work lab is at the hospital where Mars was born... Its like I did a tour around town from where he died to where he was born... actually I also passed the apartment he was conceived in too!!! I wish I could just run away to another city and move away from the triggers... and I would if it wasnt for the stability of the other kids...

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@senora76, all those triggers are so hard. It's a constant reminder of our losses. I work in the hospital that I miscarried my second loss in. Every time I have to work in the ER and I have to walk past room #20, I cry a little inside. Those are the memories that will always be with us. In some ways, it's nice to have the reminders of those sweet babies that we miss holding. But it's so painful. So many hugs for you today!

eller-2 · September 2017

@senora76, I'm sorry the reminders are particularly frequent and hard right now. Sending you hugs and wishing you quick and comforting NIPT results.

We got our results this morning - low risk for everything and we're having another boy

I was definitely not just expecting everything to be fine (that ship has sailed for us), so it's surreal to hear that everything looks typical and good at this point. I know there are no guaranties, but it feels like a really significant hurdle towards bringing home a baby.

senora76 · September 2017

Congrats @eller-2 !!! That is wonderful news - what a relief. I love boys... I realize I'm totally biased given my brood! I cannot wait til I get my results. I feel like everything is okay, but I keep worrying my overconfidence will jinx it somehow.

@justkeeptrying I couldn't imagine actually working IN a trigger location - major hugs. I know what you mean about wanting the reminders... but its so painful too - Jose and I HAD to move from our home we lived in with Mars, Jose couldn't even go into our bedroom...so we moved immediately... my teenager purposely goes past it every day because he likes being reminded of all the time we had with Mars... he calls it the Mars house.

kalawa · September 2017

@senora76 What a difficult situation. Sending hugs, and thoughts to you! I hope you get those results back quickly.

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@senora76, I think I would have had to move in your situation too. It's sweet though that your teenager still has that connection. And that they're able to do that!

mrs_tuna_08 · September 2017

How far along are you?
14+5

Any appointments coming up?
I have my glucola test on Tuesday, ew

How are you doing?
ok. I think I will be a ball of anxiety until I deliver. I just can't calm down and enjoy this pregnancy.

GTKY: I would be a perpetual student. I'd love to get my PhD and do research at an urban university. Public Health is my field and although I love that I can take time to raise my family, it bums me out that my career is taking a backseat for such an extended period of time.

Bonus GTKY: we met friends at the aquarium downtown. We don't see them often so it was really nice.

Question: even though I was pokey slow this week, I really like the weekly check in.

jessbruxanovaa · September 2017

Ladies how have you been? I've been inactive due to hurricane relief and a toddler who just turned 2. But I'm glad to be back. ❤

How far along are you?
12w1d

Any appointments coming up?
Just had one today!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I was so nervous

GTKY: What would you do in life if you knew you could not fail?
I'd tell my parent last to quit their jobs and I'd take care of all their wants and needs.

Bonus GTKY: Share your Labor Day weekend plans! Labor Day weekend is over but we did nothing. My SO works 6 days a week and Monday was not given off to him. So just like any other day for us!

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