Thanks @lindsye and @cards10 ! With this, a heat wave, and SUPER stressful week at work, I certainly wish I could disappear into a very large glass of wine. Instead I'll just have a virgin margarita maybe or a sparkling water in lime while I pretend real hard.
We (DD and I) are watching Moana and the grandma just sent Moana away and then passed away. I was as close with my grandmother as Moana was with hers. My daughter is named for her.
Sobs.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
We (DD and I) are watching Moana and the grandma just sent Moana away and then passed away. I was as close with my grandmother as Moana was with hers. My daughter is named for her.
Sobs.
I'm watching Moana again with my DD right now. Damn this movie
Married: May 26, 2012 Eden: February 8, 2016 Ivy: April 3, 2018 Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
Because I watched trolls with ds today for the 109th time and king happy made princess poppy queen after she saved everyone and just the crown shifting was emotional I guess
BFP #2 4/3/15= ectopic treated with methotrexate 5/1, YET ruptured 5/18/15= One Tube Wonder!
2 Cycles of Femara, Ovidrel, & Progesterone= BFP #3 DS born 5/17/16 TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free) BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17 BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!! DS and DD born 8/21/18
My baby girl (1 1/2 yo) fell asleep on me tonight. She hadn't done that in like 9 months. I let her sleep on me for like 20 months as i cried thinking about how the next baby will more than likely be our last baby and soon the days of late night baby cuddling will be over. I know many great things are ahead as they grow older, i really enjoy the wonderful conversations my 3 yo and I can have... But i sooo love the baby cuddling stage... I may not put the next baby down till he or she is 2 ha!
I told my boyfriend I wanted to relax and sleep so he went to see a friend so i could then I cried because he didn't ask me to go out with him lol. My crazy hormones haha
After a terrible day in work and the return of my tingling hands and legs (making me unable to sleep) I am now a sobbing mess. Week 9 is going great so far
I have never been this affected by pregnancy. My neighbor just brought over chicken pot pie because I have been feeling shitty and I started crying because nice people are the best.
Because of the Amazon Prime commercial with the lion dog. That poor dog is so sad and then he gets to be a lion so baby will love him. I cry every time I see it.
I saw a picture of my daughter from daycare watching the school bus pull up, and I started crying because I wanted to be there to hear her yell "BUS! BUS!"...
Because I've been waking up 5-10 times per night and am starting to get cumulative exhaustion. Because it's one thing to feel nauseous for a few days, but 30 straight days of it is starting to break me mentally and emotionally. Because foods don't taste as good as they used to. Because I have so much to do at my job and my brain is moving at half speed. Because between work deadlines and needing to start preparing our house and lives for our first kid (we need a nursery! and to finish our remodeling! and to start buying things!) on top of how sick I feel, I can't imagine getting everything done in the next seven months. Because do we even have enough money for this?? Because we focused so hard on getting pregnant, and then we lost our first pregnancy, and then had to heal and focus on it again, that somehow the reality of parenthood faded from my perception and now that I'm starting to believe this might really be it, and even though I want this more than anything, I still sometimes find myself picturing a screaming newborn in our house and thinking Oh god, what have we done?? Because I'm starting to believe this one will stick, but I am still also so afraid that it won't, and having gotten this far, how on earth would I be able to handle that? Because normally I manage everyday stress with running, wine, sex, and a prescription, and all four of those things are out the window, because two of them would be dangerous and the other two are impossible to fathom when you're nauseous. Because I want wine SO MUCH. Because today is DH's birthday and I don't feel like I did well on his gifts this year and I'm having trouble mustering celebrating energy. Because I feel fat. Because I was/am a pretty fit 34-year-old, but I've spent the last month eating terrible comfort foods and sitting on my ass, and I'm not showing but I've gained weight, and I know that pregnancy will change my body forever and I keep wondering if body-wise, if I've now been as attractive as I'll ever be and it's just all downhill from here. Because hormones. Because I'm sick of shoving a pill up my vagina every night. Because socializing has gotten exhausting. Because I want to tell people but I'm scared to. Because I feel like a moody, sexless, terrible wife right now. Because we are SO LUCKY to be in this position and I feel guilty for all the anxiety and self-pity.
History (TW/loss/child):
7/2017 -- miscarriage at 6w 5/2018 -- DS born 3 days after due date, 8lb 4oz 9/2020 -- missed miscarriage at 9w / DNC 3/2021 -- miscarriage at 8w 7/2021 -- missed miscarriage at 8w / DNC 9/2021 -- IVF cycle #1 (FET 1/25/22)
@mdwiny it's a lot. When they released us from the hospital with our first baby, I was convinced they had made a grievous mistake because we were totally unfit to be parents. The newborn screaming baby phase does suck balls IMO, and the exhaustion of that season is positively mind numbing. But then it ends and before you know it a new life has joined your family to add his/her thoughts, emotions, and experiences through new eyes. Yes, your body changes for a while but for a lot of women, goes more or less back to normal with time. And I am also one who loves all the wine, but meh, a 9 month detox probably isn't the worst thing for my body. Not to take away from what you're feeling at all, but it gets much, much better.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
@mdwiny hugs. I think alot of us experienced the emotions and all the feels that you're feeling. I'm not a FTM and I still wonder how i'll do going through NB phase again. Take it day by day! You got this!
@mdwiny YES. I hear you on so much of this. So much. Flipping back and forth between over the top excitement and crazy anxiety/fear is exhausting. Thank you for such an honest post!
@mdwiny these thoughts and feelings are totally normal, albeit crappy at times, and completely justified. This is everything you want and it's terrifying all at the same time.
But just remember that as much as it is great to be prepared and ready, you can never fully prepare for becoming parents for the first time.
So take care of what you can physically (house, baby stuff, your body), and remember that you definitely do still have time to do that. But also remember to take care of yourself mentally. This is really important for you, YH, and your baby! It's normal to feel overwhelmed at times but if these feelings persist and start to control how you function with daily tasks, make sure you reach out: to YH, to us exactly like this, and to a doctor.
Take care of yourself! And remember, YOU'RE DOING GREAT, MOMMA!!
I cried a lot already today and it's only 9AM. The breast feeding thread made me cry because everyone is so nice. I cried remembering how it was b/f DS and how hard it was and all the shit I tried to fix my low supply. I cried because I had to go to work today, and I cried dropping DS at daycare because he held my hand and asked me not to go. Maybe I should have stayed home today.
Ummmm seriously everything. I can't stop. Just a couple things I cried over yesterday... my husband didn't mow the yard (it needed to be done like a week ago) and that my year old 6s decided to die out on me and the only offer Apple had for me was replacing it for $400.
My co-worker microwaved salmon and shrimp in the office kitchen. So now I'm in the parking lot (in order to avoid dry heaving) and crying my eyes out over the phone to my husband.
Also, I cried yesterday because it was too hot outside. I sound like a toddler!
Because my husband wanted me to book airplane tickets. Seriously, wanted to know why we weren't doing it together. Apparently booking tickets is very sentimental. These hormones are killing me, I don't remember being like this last time but this time I get so overwhelmed over everything.
Re: Why am I crying 8/28
Sobs.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Eden: February 8, 2016
Ivy: April 3, 2018
Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free)
BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17
BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!!
DS and DD born 8/21/18
Eden: February 8, 2016
Ivy: April 3, 2018
Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
https://www.ksl.com/?sid=45871696&nid=1286
5/2018 -- DS born 3 days after due date, 8lb 4oz
9/2020 -- missed miscarriage at 9w / DNC
3/2021 -- miscarriage at 8w
7/2021 -- missed miscarriage at 8w / DNC
9/2021 -- IVF cycle #1 (FET 1/25/22)
The fatigue is REAL, people.
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
@mdwiny these thoughts and feelings are totally normal, albeit crappy at times, and completely justified. This is everything you want and it's terrifying all at the same time.
But just remember that as much as it is great to be prepared and ready, you can never fully prepare for becoming parents for the first time.
So take care of what you can physically (house, baby stuff, your body), and remember that you definitely do still have time to do that. But also remember to take care of yourself mentally. This is really important for you, YH, and your baby! It's normal to feel overwhelmed at times but if these feelings persist and start to control how you function with daily tasks, make sure you reach out: to YH, to us exactly like this, and to a doctor.
Take care of yourself! And remember, YOU'RE DOING GREAT, MOMMA!!
Also, I cried yesterday because it was too hot outside. I sound like a toddler!
Me: 29 DH: 35
Married 5/3/14, TTC ever since
DX: Lean PCOS, Clomid resistant
Femara 7.5 + Ovidrel = BFP! Due 4/15/18