I haven't seem the STM+ discussion posted in recent weeks... and the Board Organization post says it's okay for someone not assigned to start the discussion by mid-morning so I thought I'd start it this week.
1.) How old are any children you already have?
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
Re: STM+ Check In 8/30
DD will be 23 months when baby is born. She is currently 17 months.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
I'm not sure how much she will actually understand. I read in a parenting book not to focus on the baby too much all the time. Right now we're just reading some books about babies and siblings. She actually brings the baby books to me often and likes to look at babies when we're out in public, so I'm taking that as a good sign. We're going to get her a baby doll for Christmas; another mom told me her older one liked to dress, feed, burp, and walk her doll while mom is caring for baby. We're also moving DD into her "big girl room" a couple of months before baby is here so she sees that as graduating because she is older, and doesn't feel like she got kicked out of her space because a new baby is here.
DS is 15 months, will be 21 months when his little brother arrives.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
Like @precious88, I don't think DS will understand much until the baby actually gets here and he realizes he doesn't have all our attention. Will just try to be cognizant of each of us sharing our attention with both kids. He likes the dolls at daycare, so getting him a doll may not be a bad idea!
My son is 5
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
He is super excited and wants to snuggle with me and the baby each morning and night. He really is looking forward to helping and being a big brother. He even went through his toys and picked out ones he thinks the baby will like. I do not think he will be overly jealous so long as I can still show him attention too. Thankfully he will be at school most of the day and then has after school activities a few days a week. I think he will be too busy to be jealous.
2. I'm not super worried about jealousy since my girls are older and into their own things. I'm more worried about them helping me out. Yay! Built in babysitters! But, when my twins were born, I made sure DD1 was greeted first by visitors, especially grandma, instead of letting them rush to see the babies. That seemed to work pretty well.
15yo DD
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy? She's very excited about the baby. She's wanted a sibling for so long. She's a little jealous that she won't be my only child but is looking forward to helping out. I think her age helps because we can speak more plainly about it. I think she's more mortified that my having a baby is proof that I have sex and she would "rather not be aware of that thank you". Lol
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I have one son--he will almost be 2 1/2 when DS #2 is born.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
We talk about "baby brother" and DS has started paying more attention to babies in general--but I doubt he will understand everything until DS2 comes along. We are getting a "big boy" bedroom ready this fall and plan on decorating it in tractors--which he will love and I will have to get over. lol
@olitwinturbosnprincess I like the idea of having guests greet DS first when they visit. We will also be sure to spend quality time with DS with and without baby until he adjusts.
My kids will be 13, 11, 9, 8, and 3 this Nov/Dec.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
No issues of jealousy. That's never been an issue with my older kids. Not really sure if dd3 will struggle with it. That's something we'd address when/if it becomes an issue. The older kids are very much "Yay. Another sibling." They're excited, but after a certain point it probably seems BTDT.
1.) How old are any children you already have?
Two sons, 3.5 and 5.5. They will just have turned 4 And 6 when the baby is born.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
right now I'm trying to get them involved and helping make choices with purchases and decorating. My little one is very excited and has named his bunny "baby" and rocks him and puts him down for naps. My older one seems more hesitant and was the same way when his brother was born. He's more of a hands on type of kid and probably won't show much emotion about the baby until he's born. He likes to show off things so maybe he can be the one to introduce the baby to people so he can feel special.
1.) How old are any children you already have?
DD will be 24 months when baby is born. She is currently 18 months.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
DD probably won't understand a thing until the newborn is home and she isn't getting 100% of the attention. I have been starting to tell her "there is a baby in Mommy's belly" which she doesn't understand, but she does know belly and baby. I'm hoping for a quick adjustment. But who knows!
DS is 4 and DD is 2. 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 when DS2 is here.
2.
Both my kids are so excited. I'm really not worried. DS was 24mo when DD was born and did great. I just made sure to have play time with with him when DD slept. I nursed DD on the floor while playing with legos lol. I also bought a book with a big brother and little sister and would replace the nouns/pronouns with DS and DD's name. DS LOVED that. I'm hoping to find a big sister book for DD with the same boy, girl, boy sequence that we will have.
Im thinking of getting DD a life like baby doll to give her in the hospital after DS2 is born. I think she would love that.
DS seems to totally get it. I'm not too worried about him.
10, 2, 1.5 all girls
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
We have never really had issues with jealousy because everyone just helps out when needed. Everyone feels included. The only issues I've ran into is my 10yo wanting to do things her sisters can't do but we always try to compromise and make things work!
2) My oldest is going to be a jerk once he gets over the excitement. I see it coming a mile away. We will figure it out. I don't know how but we will.
DD is almost 18 months so she will be just shy of 2 when new baby gets here.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
DD and my nephew are almost the same exact age gap. He never really grasped the concept that we were having a baby. We talked about it and when DD was born it made a little more sense to him. With DD we talk about he baby in mama's belly. She will wave to my stomach and say hi. Sometimes she will "kiss the baby" but she usually ends up head butting me. At least they're playing well together??
1. DD1 will be 26 months when DD2 is born.
2. I've been thinking about this a lot and have been really enjoying reading all the suggestions everyone has posted. I think we'll get a doll and a book about being a big sister.
My dd2 was fully trained at 18 months, and she was probably the easiest of my older three. She showed signs of readiness very early and was very verbal at that age. I used the same process with my others. I wasn't even intending to introduce it to her at that age. Given the circumstances at the time, it just sort of happened. My other two were 27 and 30 months when they were fully trained. It was a pretty quick and easy process with them, too.
Unsurprisingly, my dd3, 33 months, is a different story. She's aware of her body's cues and can use the potty, she's just stubborn and likes her routine. I'm at the "She'll likely just decide to use it on her own one day." point where I'm not fretting over it. She'll get there when she gets there.
DS turns 2 in December so he will be about 27 months when the baby arrives.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
Our little guy doesn't understand at all what's going on! He has started saying baby but doesn't notice anything. He is pretty wild and I'm hoping he calms down in the next 5 months!
Dd just turned 1 so will be about 17months when baby is born
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
I have no clue where to even start. I'm hoping to try and just introduce and have her involved as much as possible to reduce jealousy since she likes to try and play with the other babies at the breastfeeding group we go to. Other than that I think I'm going to be on the struggle bus lol
As for keeping the diaper on, have you tried a onesie on backwards and backwards zip up PJs at night. That helped my DD get through that stage.
That being said, it eventually got to the point where she would just drop down in the middle of the mall and say "change my bum" and then I was kind of forced to potty train because I couldn't drag her along when I had the baby carrier in the other hand. Just make her sit every 15 minutes and try to distract her to keep her on until she got (read books, etc.) Make a huge deal when she actually goes. Find her currency and reward her with it until she gets in a routine of it ( DD used to get 1 mini marshmallow, DS Likes to get a sticker). I only had too reward for 2-3 days and then they understood what they were supposed to do
EDIT also, I think trying to potty train won't hurt. I tried potting training DS three times. When he finally got it (at 2.5) he was fully potty trained in a week. You'll know right away if she's not ready. The other times I gave up after two days.
1.) How old are any children you already have?
Just turned 1, will be 18 months when baby comes.
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
She's obviously way too young to know what is going on. I think the jealousy is inevitable when it comes to time and attention from me. My hope is that it is short lived as at a certain point she won't remember not having a sibling.
1. DS who will be 2 in Nov
2. He doesn't really understand what is going on.
I bought he baby doll and plan to get a few books. We will probably get him a gift "from the baby" to give to him when she is born. We also plan to let him introduce his baby sister to all the grandparents and family friends at the hospital. Try to make it exciting for him, and remind others not just focus on the new baby.
https://www.google.ca/search?q=emma+dodd+baby+and+me&client=ms-android-sonimtech&hl=en-US&prmd=insv&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjR0_qp44HWAhUj54MKHbWZArcQ_AUICigA&biw=320&bih=456&dpr=1.5
It has pull tabs where the babies bottle emptied and the cradle rocks and stuff like that. Very interactive and cute.
Depending on the age of the child Daniel Tiger also had a couple of episodes that do a great job in explaining about what to expect when baby comes and how things will be different but still fun.
DS will turn 5 right when the baby arrives
2.) What ideas do you have to get the older sibling(s) excited about baby and to reduce jealousy?
We've had a couple conversations about babies and what's expected of him as a big brother (ie babies cry a lot/ ways to help soothe a baby) We're trying to build excitement by encouraging him to make a list of things he can't wait to teach the baby, like how to build with blocks and play video games. I was really worried about jealousy but as long as we're careful I think he'll do great. He's even picked a song that he wants to learn on his guitar to sing to help calm the baby if its crying. If you knew my little man you'd know he's had his share of social issues but he's doing great already!
@GoogleMD I love the idea of the gift from baby for older sibling(s), too.
1. My kids are currently 16, 14, 12, 10, and 7.
2. No jealousy issues just excited for baby too come, giving ridiculous name suggestions, and arguing over whose room he'll be in (they all want him in their rooms), and everyone telling me to stop doing stuff so the baby doesn't get hurt.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
For example mine used to whine for stuff in the car and it was super annoying. "I want my duck!!!" And I would say something like "oh I wish I could get you your duck, actually, I wish we had one hundred ducks... All different colors. I'd like lots of red ones. What color ducks would you like?"
It's sort of a method of distraction because by the time you are home they aren't whining about the duck on the floor. When I first heard of it I thought "oh no way, she's way too young for that to work. I'm just going to try it to tell that person how it didn't work" and what do you know, I was the one eatingng my words. Though mine was a bit older than yours.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
@mamaof5already I don't know why I didn't think of that before. That's what we do when she hits. I'll definitely have to try that. It's worse when it's in public like this morning getting chocolate milk at Starbucks. The lady wasn't fast enough and that was a problem. She understands what I'm saying to her she just doesn't care.