Monday Bitchfest 8/21

jenotontx · August 2017

Lets hear it ladies!

sparklingdiamond · August 2017

I had to go in for my second beta today and they are taking forever to call. They completely forgot about me and didn't call at all last Thursday, so I don't have a lot of faith in them.

I let my son sleep too late for his nap yesterday, so he wouldn't go to sleep at night. Ended up just bringing him into bed with us and he still didn't fall asleep until after 10:30 and then was up early. So to say he was cranky was an understatement this morning.

pghren · August 2017

@sparklingdiamond hopefully they call and hopefully nap time goes better today

geojaminee · August 2017

I'm starting at a new school this year (I teach high school science) and when I started to move into my classroom, I expected an empty room with some desks and chairs, but like empty. Blank slate. There was SO MUCH GARBAGE from the previous teacher. The lab equipment wasn't washed from the last time they used it (probably multiple years ago) and there was some kind of chemical precipitate on all of it. The teacher's lab sink is corroding. And the teacher desk is piled so high with papers. I can't even sit at it. So I've spent the last few days cleaning that damn room and sifting through the junk on and in that teacher's desk and it's overwhelming.

pghren · August 2017

@bagowater that sounds awful. Will they do anything about the sink or the ruined old lab equipment?

holly321 · August 2017

@sparklingdiamond, gl with your betas!
@bagwater, that is awful, I hope you got everything situated.

AFM, I have been bleeding for 2.5 week, I was hoping to enjoy 9 months of no bleeding!

dirtyboots · August 2017

Dh mentioned how he is becoming increasingly frustrated that I can't keep up with all the household tasks daily. I brought up to dh last night that having a little help around the house would be so helpful (first trimester + toddler= tired mama). If he could pack his own lunches or do the dishes. Some thing. I then was informed our home is apparently stuck in the 1950s and anything around the house including children is all my responsibility.

geojaminee · August 2017

@allowachick doubt it. I'd pitch it all if I could.
@holly321 oh no!! FX the bleeding stops and everything is fine!

pghren · August 2017

@dirtyboots that does not sound like it went well. I'm sorry

psuxray07 · August 2017

@dirtyboots wowww, no way! That would not fly with me. Whatd you say? Children are equal responsibility. I do a lot more with my son than H does, but I make sure he does stuff too, esp when he tries to get out if it. I'm like no, that's not how this is going to work.

fishsticks-n-custard · August 2017

@dirtyboots

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/cszUrZAPfUTMQ/giphy.gif

If my husband tried to pull that crap with me, this would be our last child because I'd castrate him. I have a cleaning lady who comes every two weeks and does a deep clean. Best money we spend because it keeps us both sane. I don't think asking him to pack his own lunch is unreasonable. He's a grown ass man. Plus hubbie and I have an informal arrangement that one person cooks and the other cleans up. I think he needs to reset his understanding of what a modern marriage looks like. What was his argument against him, you know, acting like a decent human being?

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

dirtyboots said:

Dh mentioned how he is becoming increasingly frustrated that I can't keep up with all the household tasks daily. I brought up to dh last night that having a little help around the house would be so helpful (first trimester + toddler= tired mama). If he could pack his own lunches or do the dishes. Some thing. I then was informed our home is apparently stuck in the 1950s and anything around the house including children is all my responsibility.

Is this new or have you always had this kind of dynamic? This would not work for me, not at all. I'm sorry. It sounds awful to bring up your needs and have them met with that kind of resistance. Poor husbanding, dude!

holly321 · August 2017

@bagowater, thanks, I have been to the doctor a few times already, the bleeding is absolutely no cause for concern, just a giant PITA.

kindbytealikat · August 2017

@dirtyboots I'm sorry that is how he's acting. That isn't fair to you or setting a good example

kindbytealikat · August 2017

I need to whine more that bitch but all I have to say is dealing with a toddler puking up dinner when you already feel shitty and are in first tri is its own special kind of torture

jenotontx · August 2017

@dirtyboots I think you should hang this on your refrigerator...

Sissy42 · August 2017

@dirtyboots good grief! Time for a t-chart with chores. If you write it all out and it's as uneven as it feels, he needs to pick a handful of things to put on his side of the T. I know that old-school marriages made it work with the woman doing basically everything, but luckily for us, we are alive in 2017. Sorry

@kindbytealikat I did the toddler puke nonsense on Saturday night. Sorry you're dealing with it! Yuck!

@bagowater that is absolutely ridiculous! You'd think a teacher would know better than leave a disaster for another overstressed beginning of the year teacher.

lindsye · August 2017

@kindbytealikat I'm sorry and I feel your pain. You feel like doing nothing but sitting on your butt, make dinner anyway and then are punished for it. In my case, I told my 5 year old she had to finish her broccoli if she wanted dessert. She apparently was trying to swallow it whole without having to chew it, gagged and vomited.

Speaking of sitting on your butt doing nothing, anybody else enjoying the hot mess of trashy programming that is Bachelor in Paradise? It is basically a bunch of past bachelor and bachelorette constestants getting drunk, hooking up and fighting in Mexico. It is also the perfect excuse to get your drink on on a weeknight, but alas here I sit sipping this, pretending it's a tropical adult beverage.

dirtyboots · August 2017

When we first got married we both worked outside the home so household chores just got done by who ever had a minute to spare. When I quit my job 3/4 thru last pregnancy (due to back pain and lots of bh) he was still helping out due to my condition. But, ever since DS was born he's really pulled back on helping, but was understanding that I couldn't do everything everyday and didn't complain. But, apparently now that DS turned a year old I "should be able to do everything" ... (now that he's walking and tearing everything off the shelves.)... and he's tired from working his 8 hr bank job with an hour and a half lunch break. *que eye roll* I do appreciate the work he does and that he's the bread winner. Really he's a good guy. This conversation just about had me puking in disgust though. One of those 'I don't even know who you are' moments. Ugh. I'll have to try that chart thing and write things down. Cause really. I "work" longer hours that are more physically demanding and get less sleep. Oh and I'm carrying his 2nd child. *end rant*

maureenmce · August 2017

@dirtyboots Really, really sorry you're dealing with this and it makes me angry on your behalf. Solution wise, one way to wake him up right quick would be to give him a weekend where he's alone with your LO all day for both days. For what it's worth, though I adore my DD more than anything on earth, I 100% think (for me) it's harder and more exhausting to be a stay at home mom than work my 10 hour a day job. Caring for a small child, especially when sick or pregnant, is incredibly draining, emotional, and a lot of it is "invisible work." I think maybe he needs some time by himself with your LO to remember that! Not to mention, that after 1 is actually way tougher than before 1 in terms of wrangling. My DD was much easier to keep track of before she could walk, run, or climb. Again, I bet your husband would get this pretty quick if he was on his own for 8-10 hours with your DS, then ask him how he'd do if, in addition to that, he had the stomach flu or felt hungover for 2 months. Hopefully he starts to appreciate you and the work you do ASAP.

Good luck!

looeeze · August 2017

@dirtyboots That sounds really unfair to you. I'm sorry he's being a butt head. Has he ever had to spend 2-3 days alone with your son and the chores? Maybe you should take a weekend getaway and teach him a little lesson in gratitude. Hope he gets his act together soon.

ngolimento · August 2017

@dirtyboots tell your husband that I work an 8-5 bank job, am the breadwinner, have a 2 year old, and do chores. I declare myself manlier.

geojaminee · August 2017

@Sissy42 I don't think the former teacher left willingly, so I actually think they did it on purpose

scuba_chic · August 2017

@dirtyboots This is my first pregnancy, so no kids and DH is gone this week, so its just me. I was just thinking last night as I actually had enough energy to make myself dinner that I have no idea how I'd do this with younger kids. You and all you other pg moms with toddlers have my full respect.

@lindsye I used to love Bachelor in Paradise but cant get into it this season for some reason. However, Big Brother is my obsession and lucky for me its on 3 times a week. The nights its not on, I surf the channels with nothing that interests me.

Sissy42 · August 2017

I really resent people (family/close friends) telling me I should keep the news of the pregnancy to myself since it's so early.

I'm okay with my kids blurting the news if they do. I've got two living kiddos and two babies in Heaven, and either this baby will be carried to term or Jesus will take him/her with him.

Regardless of what happens I want those around me to know what's going on in my life. I wouldn't want to randomly tell someone about a loss if I needed their assistance at work or with kids if I never bothered to celebrate the baby with them before that.

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I'm feeling particularly irritated about it today. So... my Tuesday bitchfest??

ngolimento · August 2017

Sissy42 said:

I really resent people (family/close friends) telling me I should keep the news of the pregnancy to myself since it's so early.

I'm okay with my kids blurting the news if they do. I've got two living kiddos and two babies in Heaven, and either this baby will be carried to term or Jesus will take him/her with him.

Regardless of what happens I want those around me to know what's going on in my life. I wouldn't want to randomly tell someone about a loss if I needed their assistance at work or with kids if I never bothered to celebrate the baby with them before that.

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I'm feeling particularly irritated about it today. So... my Tuesday bitchfest??

I don't think that is an Unpopular opinion at all. It's extremely old thinking linked to Victorian repression of the female experience to pretend miscarriages don't happen. Nowadays it is personal preference whether or not to be open about it. I personally don't share much because talking about it and having people ask me questions makes the grief sharper. If it helps you to be open, then do it. Everyone who doesn't like it can go hang.

holly321 · August 2017

@sissy42, I agree. I have been telling almost everyone. Nearly my whole office knows. If I do miscarry, I would tell them, so why wouldn't I just tell them I am pregnant in the first place?

cards10 · August 2017

@Sissy42 I completely agree about not keeping pregnancy a secret! I did that the first time around since I thought that was what I was supposed to do. But then I actually did miscarry and I felt so alone. So the second time I said eff it and I told some close friends and family and they were there for me when it happened again. Still a horrible feeling but I wasn't alone and that was better

I am going to start telling close friends soon this time, very excited.

dirtyboots · August 2017

Sissy42 said:

I really resent people (family/close friends) telling me I should keep the news of the pregnancy to myself since it's so early.

I'm okay with my kids blurting the news if they do. I've got two living kiddos and two babies in Heaven, and either this baby will be carried to term or Jesus will take him/her with him.

Regardless of what happens I want those around me to know what's going on in my life. I wouldn't want to randomly tell someone about a loss if I needed their assistance at work or with kids if I never bothered to celebrate the baby with them before that.

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I'm feeling particularly irritated about it today. So... my Tuesday bitchfest??

YEEEESSSS!! My thoughts exactly!!

Sissy42 · August 2017

@ngolimento I can completely understand preferring to keep it to yourself too. I like to talk everything out, so my preference is to have it out in the open. Either way, it shouldn't be a "no no" to keep it secret or to tell. Whatever reduces the stress on mama!

@holly321 exactly why I already told my boss. I remember the first time I m/c'ed, how stupid I felt saying I needed to go have all these appts and it finally came out that it was because of a m/c and I wished I had shared about the baby beforehand when it was positive news - and then I wouldn't have to share about a baby that WAS instead.

@cards10 and @dirtyboots - I love that others feel this way too!

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