TTC After a Loss

Intro

*Trigger Warning* Loss and living child mentioned

Hi everyone! I think it's time I introduced myself. I'm coming from March 2018. I got my BFP on July 4 and was over the moon excited. I had wanted to be pregnant with my second baby for over a year and it had finally happened. And just barely over my personal "timeline". (I was due roughly 9 days after my son's 3rd birthday...never actually had a dating scan.)

On July 22 at 6.5 weeks, I started bleeding. I spoke to the on-call doc for my OB's office and he told me to go to the ER. I spent 7 hours there, but was discharged feeling OK about it because they found a gestational sac and baby with a heartbeat in my uterus. The ER doc said I was 70% likely to go on to have a normal pregnancy (what a load of crap). The next day (a Sunday) I passed a small amount of tissue. I spoke to the on-call doc and she said to call the office first thing in the morning for an ultrasound appointment. I went in on 7/24 and again saw a baby with a heartbeat. It was measuring a few days behind, but she told me that since it was within 5 days, it was considered normal. She basically said everything looked fine and wanted to draw bloodwork to see if my hCG number went up as a statistical factor to base things on. I also scheduled a follow-up appointment for a week later. So, off to work I went, again feeling reassured. I frantically checked my email all day because my hospital system automatically releases lab results to my online portal. When they finally came, my heart sank. My hCG had decreased and I knew. A couple hours later, the doctor called confirming my worst fears.

Two days later, I got a call from my OB's nurse. She had been out of town at a conference the whole time and I had been seeing her colleagues. When she got back and saw my chart and wanted to see me the next day instead of making me wait for my follow-up the following Monday. So I saw her on 7/27 and it was then that she confirmed my baby's heart stopped beating. I was given a few options to pass the tissue - waiting it out, misoprostol or a D&C. I opted to try the miso because I was told it was 90% likely to work for me being that my body was already processing the miscarriage and I really wanted to avoid surgery. I didn't want to just wait because I wanted this part to be over ASAP. So, I prepared myself for the pain and mess of the miso, only to have nothing happen (clearly odds do not work in my favor). In fact, I almost stopped bleeding altogether over the two days I took it.

I had a follow-up with my OB the following Monday and we scheduled the D&C for 8/2. I was freaking terrified for it, but ultimately, it wasn't that bad. I hardly bled at all following the surgery.

I am now 11 days post-D&C and am pretty sure I am ovulating. I had a lot of EWCM yesterday and decided to take an ovulation test, which was positive (super dark). I am hoping that since my loss was early and I typically have short cycles that my body is resetting quickly. I was told it was OK to TTC again after my 1st period, which I hope comes in two weeks.

I have a post-op follow-up with my OB tomorrow. I'm a little emotional about it because the appointment is in the same timeslot that was supposed to be my 1st appointment and ultrasound (it wasn't scheduled until 10 weeks.) In fact, I got a phone call last week from a nurse at my OB's office. I thought it was someone checking in on me or an appointment reminder. Nope, it was the standard intake call they do before your first appointment for a pregnancy. I told her she should have checked my chart before calling and then cried at my desk. I will be bringing that incident up with my OB tomorrow.

Anyway, sorry that was so long. I hate being in this position and I'm sorry you all are, too. I'm looking forward to chatting with you all and will pray that everyone gets their rainbow babies soon.

Re: Intro

  • So sorry for your loss.  Side note, I hate when doctors give statistics!  I have NEVER been on the good end of any of those statistics.  I feel like they are a load of bullshit.  Sorry you were on the shit end of that statistic as well.

    And unfortunately the intake appointment calls have happened to a bunch of us.  It sucks bigtime.  It seems like a very easily fixable thing that causes us all so much hurt when it happens. Good luck to you.  I hope you continue to heal emotionally and physically. Welcome, and hope you aren't here long. 
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  • Welcome, and so sorry to hear of your loss.  I hope you find so much support om this board of great women!
  • shri929shri929 member
    edited August 2017
    Sorry for your loss :( 
    DS born 04/22/15, Pregnant again 03/01/17 however loss due to PPROM at 20+6 weeks now TTC rainbow
  • Sorry for your loss 
  • So sorry for your loss
  • So sorry for your loss!
    Ivy: July 2010  |  Stella: Dec 2012  |  BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020

  • GeekBeagle Sorry for your loss. Take some time for healing. Welcome and I hope you find this group helpful!

    justsuzie Ugh… statistics. I hate them too! It sucks being the low percent anomaly.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    FET #2: September 2024 (failed)

    FET #3: December 2024 (failed)

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I have spent so much time in the limbo of "am I miscarrying or am I not" and it is an awful place to be emotionally. 

    I had a D&C with my first miscarriage and my body also reset itself pretty quickly. I O'd two weeks after my D&C (even though my hcg was at 100,000 the day of my loss) and AF came on time exactly 4 weeks after the procedure. I also only waited one cycle before TTC again as per my doctor. And I know the sting of appointment reminder calls - I got one for my NT scan a week after my D&C. You think they would check my *&^%*$# chart.

    Give yourself however much time and space you need to grieve. Wishing you peace.  
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • So sorry for your loss :(  Take time for yourself and hopefully your stay here will be short!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • So sorry for your loss. Miscarriage limbo is the worst thing ever! I also hate statistics...I seem to always break all of the rules for fertility. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @GeekBeagle I'm so sorry for your loss. I came
    over here from March 2018 too, and although there's a great group of ladies here, it still sucks to be here beyond words. 

    I can't believe that your OB office (and others who posted in reply) would be so careless as to make a call like that without checking. My DH called my OB to make sure they had my first two prenatal appts cancelled, and luckily I didn't get any calls like that. I would have gone off on them
    something awful if that happened to me, and then also probably would have ended up crying at my desk. 
  • @GeekBeagle I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm from the March group too. Sadly, there seems to be many of us from that month.
    I had a similar experience like you where I was told "all is well" only to discover that was far from the truth. My D&C was on 7/31 so we were very close in dates. If you need someone to chat with I'm here. 
  • Sorry everyone. It seems like March 2018 lost a great group of ladies. I'm sorry that you're all going through this!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    FET #2: September 2024 (failed)

    FET #3: December 2024 (failed)

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • @pumpkinpancake and @ELeighMay I remember seeing both of you on the March BMB. Sorry for your losses and that you ended up here, too.
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