FFFC

danjoly · August 2017

flame free Friday confession! Not always guaranteed to be flamed free

Let's hear you ladies!
(I wish I could insert a cool GIF on my mobile!)

danjoly · August 2017

I'll start! I might not make friends with this one

Everyone is entitled to their own emotions, but I can't help but major side eyed when I read the words "baby sex and disappointment" in the same sentence. How can you be disappointed in something you have absolutely no control over!! Also, the relationship you have with your child won't be influenced by what's between their legs! I've met way too many women in the past few years that went to hell and back to have a baby and still have empty arms, so for me sex disappointment is unacceptable!

ngolimento · August 2017

@danjoly, I am of two minds about it. I completely agree with you that it is 1000% asinine to be devistated about one sex or another. Each kiddo is a unique and wonderful person that deserves to have all your love and admiration, and not to be devalued for something stupid like genitals.

However, I can see in certain cases where seone could FEEL disappointed (like someone who has 3 boys and find out their fourth is a boy). I think everyone has emotions they can't control feeling, and they are valid. BUT it's how they let said emotions control their actions that matters to me. You feel what you feel, but it's how you act that defines you.

tgortney · August 2017

People who have problems with moms who nurse in public drive me insane, covered or not.

You can't say "I support breastfeeding but..."

Then no, you don't support breastfeeding. If you see breastfeeding as anything other than feeding a baby. Then that says more about you than it says about a mom showing skin to feed her child.

danjoly · August 2017

@ngolimento I agree with you on the feelings. It's human, and like you said, it's what you do about it! Have a good cry, complain to your BFF, but don't make a huge fuss about it

I'm spending a good chunk of energy taking down stereotypes with my family regarding my son. I hate the whole "it's such a boy thing" or "he's such a true boy". I feel like lots of disappointment especially in FTM comes from those stereotypes. I heard a lot of "oh poor you, boys are difficult/loud/gross/don't do well in school/name it" when I announced my pregnancy with DS.

kindbytealikat · August 2017

danjoly said:

I'll start! I might not make friends with this one
Everyone is entitled to their own emotions, but I can't help but major side eyed when I read the words "baby sex and disappointment" in the same sentence. How can you be disappointed in something you have absolutely no control over!! Also, the relationship you have with your child won't be influenced by what's between their legs! I've met way too many women in the past few years that went to hell and back to have a baby and still have empty arms, so for me sex disappointment is unacceptable!

I totally get where you're coming from. I guess me me since this is likely my last I am just hoping to have the experience of raising a boy and a girl. I will love the kid no matter what's in between it's legs and will enjoy my future with them.

ngolimento · August 2017

My confession might be outdated, but here we go:

It used to be on TB that when anyone posted pics of their bare belly, everyone had the vapors about how gross it was, and that always confused me. It always struck me as weirdly Victorian, to be grossed out by a pregnant belly. In modern times, we are no longer expected to go to great lengths to hide the fact that pregnancy exists. I mean, I get it if people where complaining about some attention desperate woman-child posing in her lacy nothing's (which happens), but people would crawl all up and down fully clothed chicks just showing a few inches of belly.

Flame away!

kiki75 · August 2017

*Lurker*
@danjoly

hedgepig · August 2017

@danjoly This is how I gif on mobile, hope it helps!
1) Find the gif you want to use at giphy.com (this probably works elsewhere too, but that's where I go)
2) Touch and hold, then choose the "save" option - it will download to your phone
3) Go to TB and choose the drop down arrow by the insert image button (on the far right)
4) Click "chose files" and find the gif on your phone
5) Voila!

ladythrice · August 2017

@Ngolimento YES! I remember that!! I've been on TB since 2011 (albeit this is a new profile after the great implosion of 2015) and people would tear those belly shots apart. I'm with you though... you do you. I don't have the energy to moderate other people's behavior on something as silly as that.

@tgortney I sure hope that that's not a UO! If it is... I'm with you and people can suck it.

kindbytealikat · August 2017

@ladythrice we still did HDBD though to show off bellies on our board. But maybe I'm confused to the belly pics which are being referenced

tgortney · August 2017

@ladythrice it was more of a confession haha. Because I know some people can get pretty offended about NIP but not breastfeeding, which is insane.

pghren · August 2017

FFFC I will take the dog outside in the yard in the morning in my pajamas. No bra, no crazy hair fixing, no fcks given. If one of my neighbors cares then that sucks to be them.

ladythrice · August 2017

@kindbytealikat, naked belly shots! With skin showing. Those were the ones people would crap on. Everyone loved the demur clothed shots but heaven forbid you showed some skin!

luna8433 · August 2017

@ladythrice one recent one that comes to mind is Beyonce. There was a lot of negative and positive comments about her bump photo.

ladythrice · August 2017

@Luna8433 Ohhhhhh yes, the infamous Beyoncé maternity shoot. I'll never understand the mentality that says it is my job to regulate and judge what you do with your body. Beyoncé's shoot is personally NMS but you know what?! No one forced me to do it and no one forced me to look at it... so I DGAF! I hope she goes on with her bad self and does whatever the heck she wants.

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

@danjoly I get what you are saying. For me I wanted a boy and when I found out I was having a girl I felt down about it for a day but I never once not loved her. To me it was what if she doesn't want to play softball or basketball how will I be able to relate to her? You don't know what your child is going to be like when they grow up. I could have had a boy and he wouldn't have wanted to play football or any sports at all. I have two older brothers and my mom was excited that she had me so she would have someone who would go shopping with her during football season. Low and behold she got a girl who wanted to watch football with her Dad on Sunday's instead of going to the mall. Also, I HATE baby girl clothes they are way to frilly and pink, now you can find non-frilly non-pink clothes if you know where to look. I just hated the thought of someone finding out I was having a girl and sending some frilly dress and expect me to put my DD in it, cause it wasn't going to happen. And I got a lot of crap from some family for having a sports theme baby shower even though we were having a girl. So like others have said it's ok to have feelings it just matters how you act, because my DD loves pink but she also loves Darth Vader and in 5 years she could be completely different (I can finally get her into Harry Potter

)

whatabout2ndbreakfast · August 2017

@danjoly I agree! The only way I could see being disappointed would be not getting the experience of raising both genders, but never disappointed in having a healthy baby.

I have no opinion on bump shots... I generally don't look at that thread haha

luna8433 · August 2017

My parent have 7 grandsons and 1 granddaughter. My husband really wants a girl. It would be nice to have a girl. But I already have a DS so I would be happy with a boy plus I already have boy things. I would be happy with either but in my heart I wish for one more than another. I will be happy either way but it's hard to not have those feelings when you have dreams of what it might be like to have a boy or a girl.

kmalls · August 2017

I will side-eye anyone talking about already-created baby registries before we're even out of first tri. It hasn't happened yet that I've seen, but it's totally coming. I'm 100% coming at this through the lens of someone who's had a loss which for sure clouds my view, I will admit. I understand excitement...but wait until the pee stick is dry, hmm?

courtyowl427 · August 2017

My sister and I were pregnant at the same time with our first, her 4 months ahead of me. She has a DD, I have a DS. They found out they're having another girl and my PE teacher brother in law was visibly upset at the gender reveal which they Facebook live'd! I was so embarrassed for him.

That being said, I could careless if we have another boy or a girl this time. Something about brothers seems cool to me, but also a big bro and his lil sis are so cute. I get the disappointment but don't think I'd let on publicly!

jenotontx · August 2017

courtyowl427 said:

My sister and I were pregnant at the same time with our first, her 4 months ahead of me. She has a DD, I have a DS. They found out they're having another girl and my PE teacher brother in law was visibly upset at the gender reveal which they Facebook live'd! I was so embarrassed for him.

That being said, I could careless if we have another boy or a girl this time. Something about brothers seems cool to me, but also a big bro and his lil sis are so cute. I get the disappointment but don't think I'd let on publicly!

Serious side to eye to people who put stuff like this on Facebook live.

orangecup · August 2017

JJMNO1616 said:

courtyowl427 said:

My sister and I were pregnant at the same time with our first, her 4 months ahead of me. She has a DD, I have a DS. They found out they're having another girl and my PE teacher brother in law was visibly upset at the gender reveal which they Facebook live'd! I was so embarrassed for him.

That being said, I could careless if we have another boy or a girl this time. Something about brothers seems cool to me, but also a big bro and his lil sis are so cute. I get the disappointment but don't think I'd let on publicly!

Serious side to eye to people who put stuff like this on Facebook live.

I roll my eyes at sex reveals in general. Putting it on Facebook makes me roll them twice.

ngolimento · August 2017

@JJMNO1616, I'm going to be honest and say that gender reveal parties in general are against my tastes. It feels really AW. People are theoretically already spending time and money on someone with a shower, so why pressure them into multiple parties and gift giving awkwardness?

holly321 · August 2017

kmalls said:

I will side-eye anyone talking about already-created baby registries before we're even out of first tri. It hasn't happened yet that I've seen, but it's totally coming. I'm 100% coming at this through the lens of someone who's had a loss which for sure clouds my view, I will admit. I understand excitement...but wait until the pee stick is dry, hmm?

I don't see the problem with creating a registry early. I plan to make one soon, not that I will have a baby shower, since I have 2 kids already. But, I plan to make it for myself to keep track of what we need and to get the % off deals. I feel like living in the moment with this pregnancy. You can unfortunately lose the baby at any time, so why wait?

kmalls · August 2017

@holly321 do what you want! I'll still side-eye it

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

I plan to have a gender reveal party @ngolimento but that's also because I'm not going to have a shower since I really don't need anything. I don't even plan on people bringing any gifts to it. I just want to have a fun reveal for my friends and family. With DD we just had a shower and me and DH took a picture to reveal the gender. And not going to lie I kind of enjoy seeing gender reveals especially ones that are unique and have a special meaning to the parents to be.

Edited to add: Also I'll know the gender before the party because we are doing this cool thing with Light sabers from Star Wars. So we need to know the gender before hand. Also to avoid any disappointed looks.

ngolimento · August 2017

@Dumbgurl04, that sort of situation I wouldn't side-eye. The stuff I get irritated with is people who want a shower, then a party, then another party, then YouTube videos about their parties, "and oh, btw here is a cute poem to get you to give us all the prezzies!". Like, ok, it's a big deal for you to have a kid, but think about other people a little.

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

oh yeah I can agree with that @ngolimento some people go way over board.

jenotontx · August 2017

ngolimento said:

@JJMNO1616, I'm going to be honest and say that gender reveal parties in general are against my tastes. It feels really AW. People are theoretically already spending time and money on someone with a shower, so why pressure them into multiple parties and gift giving awkwardness?

I would never bring a gift for someone at a sex reveal event. I feel the same way about engagement parties. I'm all about announcing the sex of your child in a cute way to friends and family, I'm not even against announcing it online. I just think the Facebook live thing is a bit much.

angiek1 · August 2017

My FFFC - I'm busting out the maternity jeans and I'm not even 7 weeks. I get so uncomfortable by the end of the day with bloating that I'm about to give up on buttons and feeling constricted. Pregnancy #1 I thought maternity jeans were the worst, now I'm like get me in those bad boys.

cseley321 · August 2017

@angiek1 I loved maternity jeans haha. I wore one pair well after I didn't need them anymore just because they were so damn comfortable. I haven't started bloating at all yet, thankfully, but as soon as I do you bet I'll fly right back into those things as fast as I can.

angiek1 · August 2017

Crystal321 said:

@angiek1 I loved maternity jeans haha. I wore one pair well after I didn't need them anymore just because they were so damn comfortable. I haven't started bloating at all yet, thankfully, but as soon as I do you bet I'll fly right back into those things as fast as I can.

I mean they are just jeans with the stretch of leggins up top. Why deny myself the comfort?

lauranicole91 · August 2017

@angiek1 Your screen name looks familiar? Are you an April 2012 mama?

ladythrice · August 2017

My FFFC, we're doing reveal this time around. My sis wants to throw a party so I'm going to live it up and AW the shit out of this baby at my party. It's the third kid, we're not having a shower and there won't be any presents, just a big family and friends party. I can't wait! My sister is already planning it and the pee is still wet...

danjoly · August 2017

@angiek1 I'm really tempted to pack my maternity shorts from last summer to our beach trip but we are going with my extended family and we aren't telling so that might spill the bean!

pghren · August 2017

@danjoly I really wanted to bring mine this weekend but I thought the same thing

angiek1 · August 2017

@laurennicole No, I was a Aug 2011 and Jan 2014 mamma. In 2014 I was on the special needs and high risk boards b/c my youngest was born missing her left forearm and hand.

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