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August Randoms

jenkar01jenkar01 member
edited August 2017 in September 2016 Moms
OMG ladies starting today begins the count down to our LOs first birthday. As of today I have one month until Xavier is one year old. How in the world is that possible?! I'm so not ready for this.
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Re: August Randoms

  • lilaroslilaros member
    I can't believe it either. This has been the fastest year of my life!
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    I can't believe a year has almost flown by!

    @jenkar01 Sept 1 was my LOs due date so I still sometimes think of that as his birthdate. Is that weird? I don't know why. Maybe bc for 9 months I had that date engrained in my brain and it was a question always asked. My LOs actual birthday is Sept. 8

    Im starting to get baby fever and have been thinking about baby names. I think October is the month we are going to start trying  :#

    Also, my best friend has been officially trying for her first baby for 1 year. They are going to start fertility testing and she is devastated that it's gotten to this point. She's expressed feelings of jealousy of other people who have been getting pregnant. I don't think she expects that I'm going for no.2 so soon. I feel torn on whether I should share this info with her. It can very well take me months and months to get pregs and she might beat me to it. I'm also a private person and don't typically share info like this. However, if by chance I get pregnant quickly, and she's still undergoing fertility testing/treatment, I feel like she would be totally blindsided and hurt. She's been very open about her pregnancy journey (but that's her personality), and meanwhile I'm tight lipped about mine (but that's my personality). What would you do? 


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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    I can't believe we are in August! Agh!!!
    @BabyBoyH92016 that's tough! I found out I was pregnant (with an IUD in) while one of my good friends was going through fertility/endo problems. I felt like an ass getting pregnant while having birth control in place and she was struggling. I ended up telling her about a month after I found out. I told her she had every right to be angry. But I'm sure it still hurt her. Despite that, we are still very good friends.
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  • jenkar01jenkar01 member
    @BabyBoyH92016 yeah Xavier was due 9/25 so it was ingrained in my head and still somewhat weird saying 9/1.
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  • Sbrown721Sbrown721 member
    I know every family and relationship is different, but, on average, how often would you say Daddy and Baby are together each day?
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  • jenkar01jenkar01 member
    edited August 2017
    X spends about 3 hours every morning during the week with his dad since I go to work before him and X wake up. He doesn't go to work until like 1030-11 am. Then during the weekend he tries to spend as much time as possible with him.
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    edited August 2017
    H gets up with LO and spends about 1.5hrs-2hrs with him in the morning before he needs to get ready for work. LO is asleep when H gets home. This will change in a month when we move and H will be able to make it home before bedtime.

    On the weekends we pretty much hang out all together, but H does hang out with LO alone for small chunks. I'm not working and at home with LO during the week, so I do take an hour or two here and there to be alone and to get out of the house. I usually go to the gym, and periodically will meet a friend for lunch or dinner. 
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  • lilaroslilaros member
    My husband spends a lot of time with our son. His job has a weird schedule and he has 4 days off a week. When he isn't working he is Bryce's primary caregiver. On days he works, he gets home before me so they will hang out for an hour or two before I get home. When we are all home together, we still split time with him pretty evenly. 
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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    My husband deals with 3 mornings a week, so is usually with LO 2-3hrs those mornings. He is Home one day/week with the kids while I work a 10hr day, and then is Home one wknd day. He and I split a lot of time getting our workouts in, errands etc.
    I will say he was NOT like this with baby #1, and even baby #2 it was more of a struggle to get him to step in. He's definitely upped his caregiving game the last few years.
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  • drabong88drabong88 member
    So a lot of our friends have been teasing us and asking when we are gonna have our 2nd kid. They all had there's close together and say it was the best way. Well the other day my husband said he doesn't know if he wants anymore kids....to say I was shocked would be an understatement. Before we got married we setteled on the idea of having 2 kids so I feel kind of blindsided. He says it's been a lot of work and he doesn't know if he can go through the newborn stage again. I'm not in a rush to have the second one right away so I don't know if I should just drop it and maybe bring it back up in a year? It's just so frustrating and upsetting.

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  • jenkar01jenkar01 member
    I wouldn't completely drop the subject but would give it a bit and then talk about it at a later date. If you two had said you both wanted two kids and now he is back pedalling but you still want a second then it something you will need to talk about. Also if you aren't wanting number #2 for awhile I wouldn't dwell on it right now. No need to add stress to yourself about future things.
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    @drabong88 The first year is HARD, so even though it's much easier then when they were newborns, it's probably still fresh in his head. Things will continue to get easier the more independent they become, and also more fun. I wouldn't take his comment too seriously just yet, especially since you are in no rush. I would let him know you that you want a second child, but understand his current feelings. Let him know you'd like to discuss this again in a year or so to see where you both are at. 
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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    I agree with all the above. The first year is very hard and ya can't blame the guy for being scared!! Having kids further apart is not a bad thing either. Gives you time with your first before adding another. My oldest was in pre-k when my son was born and she was great at helping and not being jealous! It was also nice to have the one on one time w the baby while she was in school.
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  • drabong88drabong88 member
    Thanks everyone! You all pretty much confirmed what I was thinking. To me he is pretty independent now and I don't really think about the sleepless nights anymore. Also with me working nights he had to get up with the baby 3 nights out of the week and then go to work so I feel like that's all he is remembering right now 
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  • bartonoliviabartonolivia member
    I want a baby girl. I already have a 2 yo and Elias at almost 11 months old. TALK ME OUT OF IT
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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    Haha @bartonolivia!!  :D Going from 2 kids to 3 was way easier than 1 to 2 for me!! But my kids are much more spaced out! 
    You might have a 3rd boy!  :)
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  • lilaroslilaros member
    I'm an enabler and say have all the babies, but have to agree with what @hejo2016 said about a having a 3rd boy. I know a family who had a girl and decided to try for a boy. Well now they have FIVE daughters and still no son!
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  • jenkar01jenkar01 member
    It took my future MIL five tries to get a girl. We both agreed two is our max. If I'm meant to be a boy mom than so be it.
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  • bartonoliviabartonolivia member
    @hejo2016 @Laraeq with my luck I will have another boy. LOL  I'm thinking I'll wait 3-4 years. I feel like it won't be as hard then. I'm already going crazy with the 2 I already have. And I'm only 20 sooo I'll still be young and have all my kids out of the house at a young age. Right now I'll have them out by 38. The dream!!! 
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    Although im very excited about the thought of adding another little one, it also terrifies me. Especially so close together. With one, I definitely still have some free time. 

    Family planning is so interesting. The pros and cons of having kids earlier on in life vs. later...having kids close together in age vs. bigger age gap. It's kinda fascinating. No right answer, and many things are out of your control anyway. 

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  • drabong88drabong88 member
    @BabyBoyH92016 I feel the same way about having free time. I feel like just now I am in a good routine with him and have gotten back my me time. I know I want a second one but I think im ok with waiting a year or two. 
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    Just booked a flight to see my girlfriend who lives in LA. Im so excited (I'll be going ALONE  :) )

    Id like to be done pumping before I leave on August 25th. This will be two weeks shy of LOs birthday. I hoped to make it to one year. Please tell me I'm ridiculous for feeling badly about quitting 2 weeks early.


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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    Alone!!!! Yessssss!
    Baby will be fine with the missing two weeks!! Any freezer milk? You could throw that in to stretch it out? Either way, it'll be fine and ALONE TIME!!!
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  • molosmilesmolosmiles member
    Yay to going alone! I'm going to Vegas next weekend without kiddos! Fly in Friday night and leave early Sunday morning but I am beyond excited. Not quite enough time to be fully done nursing. We are only nursing a couple times a day now and sometimes not at all. So I'm leaving it up to Ellie. I am nervous about leaving both the girls though. Dad is taking them to the lake with friends so I know they will have fun. And I'm glad he has plans because it should distract her from me being gone. I'm worried about bedtime though. Someone asked about how much time dad spends with baby and I was surprised at how much time all your SOs spend with baby! In our house it's not nearly as much...I'm always the one to care for her at home unless I run to the store real quick. The longest she has been with Dad is 4 or 5 hours. And she was fine that time but if it's short she will be fussy with him and she isn't like that with me. So super excited to get out of the house kid free for the weekend but also nervous.

    I'm definitely feeling like I need the time away because I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer about 2 weeks ago. I meet with a surgeon on the 21st and I'm trying not to let my mind run wild but it's hard. It has a high survivor rate so that isa comfort but still I have to have surgery at the minimum. I'm nervous about everything that can happen and I don't really feel supported by my SO...he just tells me not to worry and wait to talk to the doctors so I really don't even talk to him or anyone really. I'm kind of rambling now...sorry!
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  • drabong88drabong88 member
    @molosmiles I'm so sorry to hear that! Obviously it would be hard to not continuously think about your diagnosis so it sounds like your weekend away is coming at a good time. With your SO not being that supportive maybe it's just how he is coping with the news. I know my hubby does not handle stress and worry that well and will just kind of shut down soemtimes.
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    edited August 2017
    @molosmiles I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It would be so hard not to worry and I'd be extremely nervous too. I hope you start finding more and more moments of peace as you learn more and talk to your doctors. I'm sure all the information is overwhelming to take in and your H is struggling with that.

    Yea for Vegas!! Bedtime will be just fine, and your H will do great. I know my H doesn't do things exactly as I do them, but I try not to think about it and know that LO is safe, being fed, and loved...even if there tends to be a little more tears/fussing when I'm away. Enjoy your trip, I love Vegas! 
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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    @molosmiles oh no! I'm sorry to hear that! Hopefully husband will come around and be more helpful with it all soon. Sounds like you for sure need some time away! Enjoy it! THE kiddos will adapt to daddy's ways of doing things :)
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  • lilaroslilaros member
    @molosmiles I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I know it is hard not to worry when you hear the word Cancer but I wanted to say that my coworker's wife also had tryroid cancer and is the epitome of health. She had to have thyroidectomy, but that took care of everything. She has been cancer-free for years. I'm hoping your story will turn out the same.
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  • molosmilesmolosmiles member
    Thank you all! You are all right. H definitely deals with things differently than I do. I know he's worried too. And I'm so excited for the weekend. Can it come a little faster please?

    @laraeq I like to hear positive experiences. It's a 90% survival rate but my grandma died from thyroid cancer so it's always in the back of my head. Although I'm feeling very positive.
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  • drabong88drabong88 member
    So for the past 2 days Dylan has refused to nurse,  I feel like he is weaning himself :-( in the afternoon he wouldn't even eat pumped milk out of a bottle I had to put it in his sippy cup. He's not even 11 months I thought he would just eat till a year and then I would have to cut him off I'm not ready to be done breast feeding yet :-(
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    Ugh. Maybe it's just some weird phase? Hopefully he'll come back to the boob!
    On an unrelated note. Anyone use the grocery pick up service some stores offer? I've been doing it for a while now, holy cow I love it! I use clicklist, it's Kroger/Frys. They save all my usual stuff online in a list which makes it easier. Life changing with 3 kids!
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    @hejo2016 we use something called instacart. Although since it's been nice out and I'm within walking distance to 3 stores, we haven't been using it much. 

    We use a food prep delivery service and I order 2-3 dinners a week. I love it so much and it's not terribly expensive either. 
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  • lilaroslilaros member
    I don't do grocery delivery but I get produce deliverered weekly, from a cool company that sends ugly or mishapen organic produce. It's dirt cheap ($15 for a 9 lb box) and you get to pick out what you want each week, so you don't get stuck with anything too weird. I also do a a meal prep delivery from a local company 3 times a week. It's similar to Blue Apron but less prep. It's made planning dinners so much easier!
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  • hejo2016hejo2016 member
    @laraeq that's awesome! Is that local only? I'd love to find something like that for produce
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  • Sbrown721Sbrown721 member
    Would love to hear of any cheaper/quality food prep services!
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  • jenkar01jenkar01 member
    @molosmiles sorry to hear about your prognosis but it does have a very high survival rate. I know a few people who have been diagnosed with it and are perfectly fine and healthy now. My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer by sheer luck in the early stages and has been cancer free for two years now. Early detection is key with any cancer. And unfortunately men do process emotions and stressful situations differently than we do. I guarantee he is just as worried but doesn't want to show it because he trying to be strong for you. Enjoy your weekend away. It is much needed. I'll admit, I'm not ready to be away from X for that long yet but I'm getting there.
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  • BabyBoyH92016BabyBoyH92016 member
    edited August 2017
    @Sbrown721 We use Meez Meals which is local to Chicagoland. I think they are planning to expand (or maybe already have) to areas of surrounding states (Indiana, Wisconsin).

    Are you part of any local mom Facebook groups? Maybe ask there. I know in my area the local prep services tend to be more highly recommended then those that are nationally known. 
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  • molosmilesmolosmiles member
    @jenkar01 I couldn't have done with with my first either. But with the second it's much easier. Ha ha. Plus I recognize the need for me to meet a lot more than I did. I was a single mom with my first from the beginning and should have taken more time. This time around I'm the main provider so it really doesn't feel much different. Taking full advantage!!
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  • lilaroslilaros member
    @hejo2016 Our produce delivery is from a company called Imperfect Produce. I think it's only available to the SF Bay Area but I know they are expanding to LA soon. It's really popular up here so I think it's just a matter of time before it's available everywhere.
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  • jenkar01jenkar01 member
    edited August 2017
    I just want to go on record that summer colds are the absolute worse. Mister X Had a cold a couple weeks ago that he proceeded to pass on to Daddy who then proceeded to pass it on to Mommy. Fever body aches stuffy nose plugged up ears is not something I want to be experiencing in the middle of August or anytime necessarily. I'm just glad he didn't have it as bad as we did. His was more just the sniffles and a cough Mommy and Daddy on the other hand got the worst of it.
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