@auntieraindrop point taken. She can be anything she wants to be. DHs dad was a programmer for the government and had a very similar situation to yours. I think it caused some resentment in his early 20s but guess what he wants to pursue programming now.
But I don't think it is wrong to overly encourage something. Overall I'm just hoping I can make some well rounded, good human beings. My point was really to encourage @supercoolstephy
@burnsmommy27 be careful not to teach her that she has to do STEM to be intelligent and contribute something to the world. My dad's an engineer, and he's never hidden his disappointment that I went into the humanities. And sure STEM's the thing to be right now, but if she grows up to be an English teacher or a social worker her contributions will be no less valuable!
Edit to add - I don't think that's what you're saying, but you poked a personal sore spot.
I just wanted to say it's cool, it hit a sore spot for me too. You're not alone.
(And nit directed at anyone, but in general, I get as peeved by the anti-girly thing as I do by treating girly things as compulsory for female children. They're fuckin' kids. Just let 'em grow into who they're going to be, and guide them away from the pitfalls they pick up from shitty humans along the way.)
(And nit directed at anyone, but in general, I get as peeved by the anti-girly thing as I do by treating girly things as compulsory for female children. They're fuckin' kids. Just let 'em grow into who they're going to be, and guide them away from the pitfalls they pick up from shitty humans along the way.)
I remember when I was really little, like first grade, pretending that blue was my favorite color because all girls liked blue, because EWWW PINK. I have always liked warm colors (red/orange/pink/purple/coral) and I have never cared for blue especially. But somewhere my little crowd of girls had already picked up that it was somehow less to like girl colors, so we all pretended.
That's a real sidetrack, but seriously, I shouldn't have to fake my favorite color at age 7!
@cyanope Beach camping, fun! My family picked up camping last year (haven't been since we were kids) and it quickly became a family tradition. So far we've gone to the Sequioas, Eastern Sierras, and we are doing our first beach trip as well in a few weeks! We do tent camping so we are going to feel spoiled this trip with onsite showers, and a camp store. Score! LOL! Have a blast!
There's a group of teenagers (17/18) in the office next to mine packing up boxes for season ticket holders for a pro-sports team and I swear I am going to snap at them. I have already had to ask them to quiet down twice in the last two days (once yesterday because their music was so loud I could hear it clearly over my own music and my desk fan which was on high and once today from talking/laughing so freaking loud) and I had to ask the guy over the whole thing to ask them to clean up after themselves in the common area where they ate lunch yesterday because they left a giant mess. They've deserved a lot more but I'm trying to be a little lenient. I have to be able to focus to do my job since it's very detail oriented and I have barely been able to get any work done the last couple of days so I'm growing pretty tired of it and starting to lean in to just being an old crabby lady. I am about to lose my freaking mind. It's only temporary but I honestly don't know if I can make it another week with them in there.
Guys I'm really proud of our love titting game now! I feel like you never used to see them on our board and now I think people are getting more comfortable with giving them out like candy
On the flip side of the girly-girl thing... It seems that every time my DS shows a remote interest in something pink colored, someone feels compelled to make a comment. It's like who cares, he's two, he's interested in things of all colors right now.
Me-37, DH-38
Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012
Baby Boy born June 1, 2015
He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)
@mindaa my DS is the same, he likes pink, purple, blue, red, whatever the brightest colour in the room is. Also, his favourite toy is a vacuum cleaner that we got him. He loves stuffed animals too. He can play with whatever he wants, and god help the first person who makes a comment about him liking something "girly".
@Cricket99 my nephew loved his toy vacuum too. And he is super into cleaning and organizing. I don't think anyone has ever mentioned to any of us that he is girly. I think he's just super type A personality. I would be pretty pissed though if anyone ever said vacuuming was girly too!
Anyone on here a Real Housewives fan? I just read that (shocker!) Luann and Tom filed for divorce. I love Luann, so I think she will bounce back... and selfishly this will make the reunions SO good. So many "I told you sos" from Ramona and Bethany etc.
I used to love RHW, @EmilyLove25. But, I got rid of my cable so I don't get to keep up on it unless I make it to my Mom's where she has it DVR'd. Poor Luann. She hasn't had much luck in the romance department!
@YorkieLove4, your camping trips sound pretty similar to mine! We just got back from the Eastern Sierras about two weeks ago, and I'm currently plopped on the beach right now. It's a lot of work with a LO, but so worth it. I love camping! It has always been a family tradition, and about 50 of my family members are camping with us this week. It has been a blast!
...and just to make you all a little jealous, cuddles on the beach with DD, and the view from our campsite last night. Pure bliss!
On the flip side of the girly-girl thing... It seems that every time my DS shows a remote interest in something pink colored, someone feels compelled to make a comment. It's like who cares, he's two, he's interested in things of all colors right now.
My son had many "feminine" interests when he was a toddler, as well as many "masculine." It was easy to stop people from the bullshit when I was home with him -- I was there to say, "There's NOTHING inherently gendered about _____." But once he went off to school he quickly learned and internalized boys things/girls things. Helping him think critically about what he picks up from other kids and adults is hard and tiring.
Yesterday I managed to convince myself that my normal and baseless fear about something being wrong with the baby can't be normal or baseless at all. It must be ~*~*~*~intuition~*~*~*~. I simply know something is wrong with the baby because there must be because everyone says intuition is a thing that is more right than wrong, etc. Anxiety logic is stupid, and yet still casues anxiety. Go fig.
Anyway I then somehow jumped to "obviously I'm not feeling movement because the baby has no legs." Not, y'know, because 16 weeks is still early to be feeling movement, even on one's second go-round. No legs. Obviously. (Originally, it was no limbs, but there are some distinct arm nubs in the eight-week ultrasound.) AND this no legs thing has happened because I still sleep on my stomach when it's comfortable, which has obviously cut off circulation to the baby's growing body. I am a monster who cannot even gestate properly. This is, of course, the only logical conclusion to draw.
In random shit that's not about anxiety: my husband gets SO ANGRY at the habit in publications and OB offices and whatnot to refer to the baby as "baby," without any preceding article. I think his irrational anger is hilarious.
@scatteringashes Thank you for sharing your train of thought... that is JUST how mine works. I literally did the elective ultrasound largely because I was convinced the baby was missing his brain and I wanted to know then and not at the AS. What? I would take you down my train of thought but it was also founded in lack of movement (what?). Anxiety is THE worst but also amusing (at times).
@scatteringashes@EmilyLove25 I'm riding the anxiety train too. It's amazing how quickly our brains go directly to these extreme conclusions and how we can so quickly "convince ourselves" that they must be true, despite logic to the contrary. Virtual hugs. ETA: I'm a clinical psychologist and I STILL "go there" in my head.
@scatteringashes Thank you for sharing your train of thought... that is JUST how mine works. I literally did the elective ultrasound largely because I was convinced the baby was missing his brain and I wanted to know then and not at the AS. What? I would take you down my train of thought but it was also founded in lack of movement (what?). Anxiety is THE worst but also amusing (at times).
I was ALSO convinced the baby had no brain at one point! High five!
I mostly try to be funny about anxiety, because once you're out of the weeds of a panic, the logical jumps can be pretty amusing. In retrospect. When my husband laughs in the hest of the moment I'm like LOOK I KNOW OKAY BUT I'M SERIOUS THIS IS PERFECTLY LOGICAL.
@missblaze I think it's both interesting and relieving to know that one can trained in braining isn't immune to that kind of thing.
@scatteringashes and @missblaze Let's make a mental note to mark this thread and re visit it in 10-13 weeks when our LOs are kicking and punching us so much that we can't sleep or breathe. We'll be so amused at our former selves (but of course at that point I'll have already diagnosed LO with autism and crippling addiction problems, so my anxiety will be going strong).
@scatteringashes I was so certain our LO had no legs after our NT scan...I almost called to ask. Saw arms. No legs. My anxiety was killing me! Glad I'm not the only one.
@scatteringashes Unfortunately education and training does not guarantee immunity
@EmilyLove25 If it's not one thing, it's another. You know how matter can neither be created nor destroyed, it just CHANGES FORM? Yeah, that's my anxiety.
So off topic but im having a melt down. I just received a letter from our insurance company saying as of August 31 my doctor and my hospital (their entire network) will no longer be in network! Mind you we are with the largest insurance provider in our state, and all of my doctors are in that network, which is the largest network in our state. When I called the insurance company to ask for advice all they could tell me was I needed to find a new doctor AND hospital by September 1! This doctor delivered me, he had literally been my doctor since the day I was born, I can't fathom half way through pregnancy (with my first) having to switch?!?! Any advice? Anyone know the chances of the doctors and the insurance company actually making a deal before the end of the month??
I don't know if this is more symptoms or more random, but omg, it's funny so we'll put it here.
My nipples are so cracked and raw they've started like, seeping. It was making a puddle in my bra, so I stuck a tissue down there to absorb the liquid. Now the raw place has SEALED to the tissue and I can't get it off! if I pull on it, it hurts (a lot) and starts to bleed. I tried soaking it off with water and it just made a gummy tissue mess on the end of my nipple. At work. Oh yeah.
I am the first human-tissue hybrid. I have built in nipple tassels.
@auntieraindrop It sounds like one awesome day. I would recommend breaking down and purchasing some lanolin nipple cream along with some breast shields. Both made specifically for your current nipple sitch. Good Luck!
Re: Randoms Week of 7/31
But I don't think it is wrong to overly encourage something. Overall I'm just hoping I can make some well rounded, good human beings. My point was really to encourage @supercoolstephy
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
(And nit directed at anyone, but in general, I get as peeved by the anti-girly thing as I do by treating girly things as compulsory for female children. They're fuckin' kids. Just let 'em grow into who they're going to be, and guide them away from the pitfalls they pick up from shitty humans along the way.)
That's a real sidetrack, but seriously, I shouldn't have to fake my favorite color at age 7!
Apparently we are thought of as being the disgustingly sweet BMB. lol.
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
HA! I'll take it over the bat sh!t crazy BMB lol!
Together Let Us Seek the Heights
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
@missblaze Omg, that's amazing! And so typical of jerks to make kindness seem stupid!
1 Rainbow Baby: Born 4/4/15
BFP: 4/23/17 EDD 1/5/18
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
There's a group of teenagers (17/18) in the office next to mine packing up boxes for season ticket holders for a pro-sports team and I swear I am going to snap at them. I have already had to ask them to quiet down twice in the last two days (once yesterday because their music was so loud I could hear it clearly over my own music and my desk fan which was on high and once today from talking/laughing so freaking loud) and I had to ask the guy over the whole thing to ask them to clean up after themselves in the common area where they ate lunch yesterday because they left a giant mess. They've deserved a lot more but I'm trying to be a little lenient. I have to be able to focus to do my job since it's very detail oriented and I have barely been able to get any work done the last couple of days so I'm growing pretty tired of it and starting to lean in to just being an old crabby lady. I am about to lose my freaking mind. It's only temporary but I honestly don't know if I can make it another week with them in there.
Guys I'm really proud of our love titting game now! I feel like you never used to see them on our board and now I think people are getting more comfortable with giving them out like candy
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
@YorkieLove4, your camping trips sound pretty similar to mine! We just got back from the Eastern Sierras about two weeks ago, and I'm currently plopped on the beach right now. It's a lot of work with a LO, but so worth it. I love camping! It has always been a family tradition, and about 50 of my family members are camping with us this week. It has been a blast!
...and just to make you all a little jealous, cuddles on the beach with DD, and the view from our campsite last night. Pure bliss!
Super jealous over here. And I love how so many of us do like to camp.
Yesterday I managed to convince myself that my normal and baseless fear about something being wrong with the baby can't be normal or baseless at all. It must be ~*~*~*~intuition~*~*~*~. I simply know something is wrong with the baby because there must be because everyone says intuition is a thing that is more right than wrong, etc. Anxiety logic is stupid, and yet still casues anxiety. Go fig.
Anyway I then somehow jumped to "obviously I'm not feeling movement because the baby has no legs." Not, y'know, because 16 weeks is still early to be feeling movement, even on one's second go-round. No legs. Obviously. (Originally, it was no limbs, but there are some distinct arm nubs in the eight-week ultrasound.) AND this no legs thing has happened because I still sleep on my stomach when it's comfortable, which has obviously cut off circulation to the baby's growing body. I am a monster who cannot even gestate properly. This is, of course, the only logical conclusion to draw.
In random shit that's not about anxiety: my husband gets SO ANGRY at the habit in publications and OB offices and whatnot to refer to the baby as "baby," without any preceding article. I think his irrational anger is hilarious.
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
I mostly try to be funny about anxiety, because once you're out of the weeds of a panic, the logical jumps can be pretty amusing. In retrospect. When my husband laughs in the hest of the moment I'm like LOOK I KNOW OKAY BUT I'M SERIOUS THIS IS PERFECTLY LOGICAL.
@missblaze I think it's both interesting and relieving to know that one can trained in braining isn't immune to that kind of thing.
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
@scatteringashes Unfortunately education and training does not guarantee immunity
@EmilyLove25 If it's not one thing, it's another. You know how matter can neither be created nor destroyed, it just CHANGES FORM? Yeah, that's my anxiety.
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
Jan 18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
My nipples are so cracked and raw they've started like, seeping. It was making a puddle in my bra, so I stuck a tissue down there to absorb the liquid. Now the raw place has SEALED to the tissue and I can't get it off! if I pull on it, it hurts (a lot) and starts to bleed. I tried soaking it off with water and it just made a gummy tissue mess on the end of my nipple. At work. Oh yeah.
I am the first human-tissue hybrid.
(I am an idiot.)
@auntieraindrop I'm so sorry, but that made me laugh so hard I'm almost crying! Can you try Vaseline maybe?