Nervous Intro....TW

mrschx · July 2017

I wasn't sure if I should introduce myself on a check in or this way, but I figured it might get a little long so here it is. I have been a lurker for a very very long time on birth month boards, and TTC boards. I changed my profile name, and have accepted that I now have trouble relating to other people who have not experienced child loss, and am hoping to connect with others that just "get it". It seems to me like you ladies are just an amazing support to one another, and maybe that is something I need now. I called it a nervous intro because my hands are shaking as I type. So, here goes....
************TW********************
Just over 3 months ago I was 39 weeks pregnant with my son and a perfect pregnancy. On that morning I suffered a complete placental abruption. It came as a complete and total surprise with no warning, signs or symptoms. We rushed to the hospital not knowing what was happening, and quickly went in for an emergency C-section. Our son was born with a heartbeat, but not breathing. They were able to resuscitate him, but the damage to his brain without oxygen was too much. He lived for 12 hours with us before he passed. That is of course the abridged version of our story, but it is all I can muster. Obviously our hearts have been shattered by our loss. It is a reminder that this life we have is completely unpredictable and nothing is promised to us in any given day. With that new perspective, we have to keep living our life every day, and moving forward no matter how hard it may be. Which brings me here. We still have hope of expanding our family. While it is hard to imagine ever doing all of this again, and the greatest fear of losing another child, I have to have hope. I also need to find support, and purpose supporting others.
*********End TW*********************
So, technically we are benched for physical and emotional purposes. We are hoping to start actively trying in September providing we are up for that roller-coaster again. I guess we will see. But, in the meantime, I'm going to try out this participating thing. Looking forward to chatting with you ladies. Thanks for reading, and sorry for the long post.

ngolimento · July 2017

Welcome to the board. I am so deeply sorry for your loss, that must have been devistating to say the least. I hope you have a short stay here, but you are welcome to ask any questions and bring up concerns here.

splashmountain · July 2017

@mrschx I'm am so very sorry for your loss. What a heartbreaking experience. Welcome to the board, the women here are very kind and supportive and I completely understand not being ready to ttc yet, my MC was in December and I'm still not ready. Take time for yourselves.

vlagrl29 · July 2017

Omg I'm so very sorry for you loss. I can not imagine your pain.

40momma · July 2017

My heart breaks for you. There are just no words that can make sense of it and I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. One of my closest friends lost her baby girl at 39 weeks as well, unexpected. It was soul crushing and heartbreaking and the hardest thing my friend has ever had to endure. When I had my mc, my friend was the first person my DH called and she has been my rock. I don't know how I could have ever coped those first few days without her. I find sharing your pain with those that understand, is somehow healing. It's a sisterhood that none of us ever want to belong to, but once we do, we realize we can never get by without each other. Please surround yourself with loved ones and cherish the memory of your son, I guarantee you not only will you never forget him, but your friends and family will always remember as well.

Mack2342 · July 2017

@mrschx I am so very sorry for your. I can't imagine. Welcome to this community. It is a great community and has helped me get through my losses. I hope you get the support you need and that you are not here long. Again I'm so sorry.

dpjennifer · July 2017

I'm so sorry for your loss. How traumatic!

This is definitely a good and supportive group and we hope that when you're ready to try again that your stay will be brief and that your heart will become full with a successful and easy pregnancy and birth. Also, I know there's a loss board for individuals who have lost a pregnancy 6 months or more along that you may want to check out as well. (I have no idea how active it is or if it is active. All of my losses have been early so it's not anything I'd looked into.) We're looking forward to getting to know you and helping you on your journey!

shri929 · July 2017

I'm so sorry for your loss

MooFish2364 · July 2017

How devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss. Reaching out to others and sharing my story has definitely helped me heal from my loss.

rosemaryandthyme · July 2017

Oh wow, I am so so very sorry to hear what you have endured. Thank you for sharing your story with us and welcome to the group. I am still new to the board but have found these women to be a friendly and welcoming group that is very supportive.

amberruka · July 2017

Welcome. I am so sorry and cannot imagine what you've been through. You're most welcome here. There is also a late term loss board and while not very active, I have noticed on that board posts get responded to pretty quickly.

rklinge0 · July 2017

I am so sorry for your loss. I was like you after my mc and waited quite some time to feel ready again. Definitely take time to emotionally feel ready.

acunamatada · July 2017

I am so so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you've been through. This is a wondwerful board of supportive ladies and you are more than welcome here. Take all the time you need to feel ready physically/emotionally.