Pregnancy Questions and Concerns: 7/23-7/29

KatieEl · July 2017

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Ask 'em here!

tdevlindrye · July 2017

Ok, TW***

I have a friend who just gave birth and had complications. She had to have a c-section and her babe had to have a surgery and stay in the NICU for a couple weeks. Ugh!!! I hate that she's going through that!!! And I am also concerned now because she is one of the healthiest and most on-top-of-things person I know. I really look up to her. And if it can happen to her then it can happen to me. I just don't how many precautions I can take without making myself crazy. I know at some point that's all I can really do, but I know if something went wrong I would totally blame myself. Ugh...

Cricket99 · July 2017

@caeilievalor honestly, when you have complications like that it usually has nothing to do with your fitness level and healthiness. Sometimes things just happen. I have quite a few close friends who had babies around the same time that I had DS and we all had different experiences. When I wrote up a birth plan, the main thing I wanted was to safely get baby here. I ended up with several interventions that I didn't prefer, but at the end I got a sweet healthy squish. There is only so much you can do to prevent interventions before they become necessary. I think stressing out about it is useless. I've taken a very go with the flow attitude and it definitely helps. In the meantime, eat healthy meals, do moderate exercise, and enjoy being pregnant (as much as that's possible, because let's not kid ourselves the last 2 months or so can be miserable).

vjraab · July 2017

Is anyone else with only 1 child experiencing major mom guilt? Mom's with 2 or more kids, did you have mom guilt? How did you overcome it?

Dani0329 · July 2017

@vjraab
I go through spells of Mom guilt. It makes me feel better when DD talks about brother or sister (mood dependent) and then gets sad when I tell her they are still in my tummy. That said, I know her world is about to get rocked and just hoping to weather the storm in February!

missblaze · July 2017

@caeilievalor Agree with @Cricket99 - You can make yourself crazy thinking about all of the things that can potentially go wrong, and labor is just simply unpredictable. I had to have a C-section because DD was frank breech and no matter what I did, she did not change her position. There was nothing I could have done. You have to be flexible when the time comes. As for right now, try and keep healthy in mind AND body, and that includes not stressing over the "What ifs."

caseyw8784 · July 2017

@caeilievalor - i agree with the PPs. First, best wishes to your friend and her baby! My 2 best friends both had babies last year, and they both had severe complications, and both were completely random circumstances/events that they couldn't really have prevented. (one had preterm labor and delivered her baby at 26 weeks and the other had delivery complications that resulted in brain damage. luckily both ended up with best possible results and both babies are now thriving!) I feel that as long as you try to eat healthy, get some exercise, and have a positive attitude, that's all you can really do and trust your doctors to do the rest!

tdevlindrye · July 2017

@Cricket99, @missblaze and @caseyw8784 - You gals are 100% right. I honestly feel like I go through phases and being worried about things and being chill about it all. It's super helpful to have an outlet for my worries though - thanks ladies.

mindaa · July 2017

vjraab said:

Is anyone else with only 1 child experiencing major mom guilt? Mom's with 2 or more kids, did you have mom guilt? How did you overcome it?

Yes! Thanks for asking this. It feels weird since part of the reason for having another kid is for DS in the long run, but yeah, I'm so wistful that I'll never again be able to give a child this much undivided time and attention.

Anyway, looking forward to reassurance from experienced mom's.

Samsmommy6515 · July 2017

vjraab said:

Is anyone else with only 1 child experiencing major mom guilt? Mom's with 2 or more kids, did you have mom guilt? How did you overcome it?

This is totally normal! My second child was an Irish twin, too, and I spent some time on bed rest so I felt SUPER guilty throughout the pregnancy for ruining my first born's baby experience. He's now 27 months and his sister is his best friend in the whole world. I think the guilty feelings are mostly caused by hormones affecting the way we think and feel. I'm sure your first child is going to be grateful for a playmate and not quickly grow past any jealousy that may be experienced.

I have heard that that involving an older child in the pregnancy, birth and newborn process can really help to avoid jealousy in the firstborn. We try to have my older kids with us for ultrasounds and I'll try to make the trip to grandmas for the birth as special as possible.

Another thing, it is really nice that new babies tend to nap a lot. My second baby was able to spend a lot of time alone napping or watching me play with her brother so he didn't feel ignored.

vjraab · July 2017

@mindaa and @Dani0329 I feel the same way!

@Samsmommy6515 Thank you for the reassurance and advice!

GraceUponGrace09 · July 2017

Question: I recently learned that we have a Zumba class in our little tiny town. I'm pumped because I've wanted to try zumba for quite a while. Is it safe to start while pregnant? Of course I'll ask my OB at my next appt but wondered if any of you have any experience/knowledge on this. I'm as low risk as can be, pretty much, but I'm not exactly in shape. I'm a healthy weight but just don't exercise like I should.

fishee333 · July 2017

@GraceUponGrace09 I was in your exact situation when I was pregnant last time, and i asked my doctor - she was completely fine with me starting Zumba. I'd still ask your doctor, but definitely listen to your body and take breaks when you need to. Our bodies are doing a lot more work with making a baby than everyone else in the class, so go easy on yourself.

KatieEl · July 2017

@GraceUponGrace09 talk to your doctor, of course, but as long as you monitor your rate of perceived exertion you should be fine!

KLake42 · July 2017

@caeilievalor I understand the anxiety. I have monochorionic diamniotic twins, and I know they'll arrive early. I have about a 50/50 chance of having an extensive NICU experience. But that still means 50% chance of either no NICU or just a few days in NICU.

So that's my reality, and I've been working to accept it. I've joined a facebook group for mo/di twins, and I've been able to read about the experiences of so many families whose twins arrive as early as 25 or 26 weeks, and after a long NICU stay (months), they now have thriving toddlers. It's helped normalize it for me. And I'm doing what I can (lots of protein, staying hydrated) to make it to 35 weeks and 5 pounds each.

It's not your reality, but if it's on your mind, it might help to focus on how many babies thrive after a rocky start. You can hydrate, eat well, and get rest, which are all things that help support the pregnancy, but will also help you feel okay and manage stress.

addyplusone · July 2017

vjraab said:

Is anyone else with only 1 child experiencing major mom guilt? Mom's with 2 or more kids, did you have mom guilt? How did you overcome it?

I have mom guilt all of the time. Especially right now. I am tired very often and my 1 yr old demands so much of my attention that I don't get the quality time with my 5 yr old like I would want to. I try to do special things just with her. We made cookies the other night and on nights where I feel like poo I let her do my hair. Girl loves to do that! It is tough being a mom. Something is always making you feel like you are doing it all wrong.

burnsmommy27 · July 2017

@GraceUponGrace09 I wouldn't go against anything your doctor advised.... but I will tell you that I do Zumba a couple of times a month (used to be 2x a week pre pregnancy) and we have plenty of 70+ old ladies that join in. There is always a way to modify a move to make it easier. Listen to your body, watch your heart rate if you have a monitor and have fun!!

tdevlindrye · July 2017

@KLake42 Wow! You sure have a lot more on your plate than I do. Thanks for the response and I think we are both going to end up just fine.

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