Parents and InLaws and Siblings Suck--How to deal?

asly02 · July 2017

So we just told all of both of our families and no one has wanted to take us to do baby stuff, or registry stuff, look at stores, or anything. They've basically ignored us once they found out. We didn't fly across country to be ignored on our biggest occasion! Hubby and I are both the second borns and our families are completely narcissistic and obsessed with our older siblings. I took myself out to buy a newborn toy, alone, today. It was very sad, but no one cared bc they are obsessed with getting their nails done or a massage and not inviting me. I HATE these people now. We really expected more this visit, considering the circumstances. I have 24 hours more here...how do I deal? Im so angry/sad, I'm worried it's bad for baby.

smorzandoj · July 2017

Honest reality. The baby isn't here yet. You probably aren't even showing. The need for buying things or doing registry stuff isn't really there yet. Go get your nails done with them and get a massage. Take care of yourself before you don't have the time to do that. Ass for you feelingthat they are obsessed with the older siblings maybe they are...there is not much you can do but tell them you feel that way...otherwise move on. It isnt worth your energy.

Now. Insert everyone that wants to spew puppies and rainbows to you.

sarahbellz · July 2017

I hate my MIL and a recent event has rendered our relationship beyond repair if you feel this way and and don't see them often go do your own thing a few more hours then say f**** them ! Maybe later it will be better

asly02 · July 2017

**Removed for TOU violation**

asly02 · July 2017

sarahbellz Yeah, that's what happened, but I didn't fly here to be alone about baby stuff! I'm alone at home

It's sucky and they suck for sure.

neener*neener* · July 2017

How far along are you? If you are showing, it is bloat. I agree with @smorzandoj for sure. Way too early to register and it doesn't sound like this trip was meant to be all about baby in the first place. It is rude to turn it into that just bc you are pregnant.

BelhurstBride · July 2017

Wait, you're mad they didn't want to run out and register with you- during the first tri- and they're the narcissists?

DH and I did all that ourselves. It really doesn't require a group effort.

clc515 · July 2017

So did your family know your trip was only about announcing baby and doing everything with you for the baby? And did you ask to do anything with them and they ignored you, or you assumed they'd want to do all the things and you waited for SOMEthing to happen but it never did?

sabriel1 · July 2017

I have to agree with @smorzandoj here even if you think I'm being a dick. I understand that this is probably a vent more than anything else so no judgement here.

It's still super early really. You may think you are showing but Google your uterus size during pregnancy and you will see that at this point it is pretty much impossible to show anything but bloat in the first trimester if you are a ftm.

I know you are super excited but it is really early to be doing registries and buying stuff. It's early because you don't know the sex of the baby if you were going to find out and also by the time people would be using your registries many of the selected items will have been discontinued or not carried anymore (Target is famous for this).

As for them not inviting you, they sound like jerks. You said that you expected this trip to be different because of the circumstances but these people are not going to change who they are. My recommendation to make your life more enjoyable (and this is only my own personal experience) would be to after your expectations of these people or just not bother with them. If they don't seem to care about you then I wouldn't put much effort in continuing my relationship with them.
This recommendation comes based on what you said they have always been like and had nothing too do with the fact they weren't rushing of to talk baby with you. It really is super early for that stuff.

eggplantface · July 2017

I gotta agree with the "dick" here (who was actually really nice). You need to lower your expectations. I told my family and they said "congratulations!" and that's all I was expecting to get. No shopping spree required. You're still months from a registry and buying things. They probably aren't being malicious, this really is just way too early for that stuff. As for them going to get their nails done and not inviting you: I'm not surprised considering you're acting pretty entitled and called them bitches. Also, calling someone a dick is against TOU.

**Removed for TOU violation**

And qfp.

smorzandoj · July 2017

**Removed for TOU violation**

This actually makes me question if you are even legitimate about your feelings about your family. But then again that could just be me being a dick.

starla · July 2017

I agree that you need to lower your expectations of other people.

meatballs37 · July 2017

Is this OP for real? I agree with PP, you need to lower your expectations. Babies are kinda like weddings, no one is going to care as much as you do about your own baby and wedding. Also, baby showers are not a right of passage, if someone offers to throw you one that's awesome. If not, well, oh well.

Image: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/55a83242e4b04071f6f89699/5656d4cae4b0b807738ae995/5656d4e5e4b0f06765e3d51a/1448531187399/hamada+no+one+cares.gif

meatballs37 · July 2017

asly02 said:

So we just told all of both of our families and no one has wanted to take us to do baby stuff, or registry stuff, look at stores, or anything. They've basically ignored us once they found out. We didn't fly across country to be ignored on our biggest occasion! Hubby and I are both the second borns and our families are completely narcissistic and obsessed with our older siblings. I took myself out to buy a newborn toy, alone, today. It was very sad, but no one cared bc they are obsessed with getting their nails done or a massage and not inviting me. I HATE these people now. We really expected more this visit, considering the circumstances. I have 24 hours more here...how do I deal? Im so angry/sad, I'm worried it's bad for baby.

oh and QFP

BumpAdmin · July 2017

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