Shower, sprinkle, diaper shower for STMs

rebeccad7 · July 2017

For all you second time mom's, are you doing a shower, sprinkle, or diaper shower? I was just wondering what others are doing and what the etiquette is. My thoughts were if we have another girl then we won't have one but if we have a boy then we will. Just because we have all the girls clothes and accessories we need, but for a boy we would need to get more clothes and some boy accessories and things like that. My mom will throw it (so no I'm not throwing it myself) but I don't want to seem greedy having another shower only 2 1/2 years later

cait5413 · July 2017

I'm pretty sure we already had a thread on this--search the archive. I have no plans for one, but if someone offers I'd take it, but probably only for small things like books or diapers

tmk0325 · July 2017

I most likely won't do one unless someone offers. I did make a small registry with target just so I could get the completion code. There are a few things I want to get but I won't share with anyone unless they ask. Second showers are pretty uncommon here unless their is a large age gap between kids.

casace · July 2017

What is a sprinkle?

eazybreezy225 · July 2017

casace said:

What is a sprinkle?

A sprinkle is a mini baby shower. Usually only a small handful of close friends and family.

casace · July 2017

That's makes sense! Thank you! Haven't had a chance to introduce myself but I am a STM. My son is almost 18 months. I think this time around I would like a diaper party my MIL had one for me and so did some of the girls from my husband's work, so I ended up with at least 6 months worth of diapers! Target was very good about exchanging brands and sizes for me throughout those 6 months.

Tennis11785 · July 2017

Generally speaking, it's considered "not proper" to have a second shower, whether the baby is the same gender or not. The shower was initially supposed to "shower" the mom into motherhood, which is complete after the first baby.

Unfortunately, sometimes second showers or sprinkles comes across as gift grabby.

Now I've definitely been to some showers/sprinkles for second kids (or even third kids when it's two of one gender and then the 3rd is the opposite). And for most of them, I've attended happily because it was for someone I know and love.

I think the difference is what drives the shower. Is it the mom who is thinking "oh I need blue stuff because everything I bought was pink before" or "I threw everything out because storing it was a pain" - well then I side eye it. But if it's a friend or group of friends who really want to do something special for the baby and mom (for whatever reason) and it's driven by others, I side eye it less.

ngarciabyu · July 2017

My mom and MIL are throwing me a sprinkle, even though I have insisted that it's not necessary, but they are both so excited and people around me keep asking, so I conceded lol. This is my 3rd baby and my first girl (MIL has 5 sons and 4 grandsons so this is the first girl so she's beside herself), and it has been 6 years since my baby shower. I have asked for no gifts and do not want to share a registry. I suggested maybe a diaper raffle or something. I'm mostly looking forward to the social interaction and yummy treats from MIL lol.

Marley629 · July 2017

My MIL is throwing me a joint sprinkle next month with my SIL who is due in September. It will just be immediate family and a few close friends invited. I was going to do a registry for the completion code but I'll wait until after the sprinkle date because I don't want anyone looking it up and thinking I'm expecting gifts but I don't think BRU Does private registries.

Generaly second showers or throwing yourself a sprinkle is frowned upon. It's common where I live for sprinkles but I wasnt expecting one. I was surprised she wanted to throw one

eta fixed words

kate0506 · July 2017

I shall be having a sprinkle, just family and a few friends/work colleagues . this is my second baby and It's more like a leaving party from work as I work with most of my friends and my mum. My best friend and mum have insisted they do a little tea party gathering, but I've said I don't want gifts, just their presence.
I don't see it as a mother being greedy for gifts if they have a shower/sprinkle for 2nd or 3rd children, to me I think it's just gifts for the new baby. I think when you make a registry of things you want, then that's being a bit cheeky. Just a little something is more than enough in my opinion. I don't like to ask people for anything.

lavashiner · July 2017

In my circle of friends a small brunch, no gifts expected, is normal for the second time around. I hope to do that. I'm afraid my MIL will want to throw a whole big shower, but it's mostly for her & her friends to get together, and less about me (which is fine!). She lives in another town about 6 hours away. If she offers, I'll probably do my best to decline but give in. I won't share a registry.

splsmama2016 · July 2017

None of the above here. We MIGHT do a "sip and see" after the baby is born (most likely after the new year), but nothing else.

I AM, however doing a registry at BRU for the completion discount, because we need another crib, etc.

eazybreezy225 · July 2017

In all honesty it purely comes down to what is socially accepted in your community. There are ladies all over the Internet in every message board that will lecture until they're blue in the face about how horribly selfish more than one shower is... but the fact of the matter is that there are many communities of friends and families where it's unusual and strange to NOT have a shower for every baby. So it all boils down to what is the norm for your social circle, and not what strangers on the Internet tell you.

When I was living in Washington, i had a baby shower for both DD1 and DD2. For my family and friends in our social circle, it was not only normal but expected for a shower to be thrown for every baby.
When I moved to the Midwest, baby showers in my social circle were only acceptable for the first baby or if you had a 10+ year age gap between kids. It was uncommon and gift grabby for anything more than that. So I did not have a shower for DD3.
I live in the Southwest now, in a new social circle with the same views. So I will not be having a shower for this baby, even though it is a boy this time. We also have to start from scratch because we decided we were done having kids so we sold everything in a garage sale last summer. Then, surprise! Lol.

splsmama2016 · July 2017

@eazybreezy225 half of my family is the same way, showers for every baby. I'm just not really big on being the center of attention (with my wedding as the exception lol), so we are choosing for a smaller sip and see BBQ event afterwards.

thatlauragirl · July 2017

I just found out last week that my coworkers are planning a shower for me. I was kind of embarrassed and asked to decline because I know it's frowned upon by everything I read. But my friends have said that I'm essentially starting over since there will be 7 years between my son and daughter. They also said that after walking with me through all of my grief in the past years (and especially last year) with my struggles they're ready to celebrate with me. So I'm throwing caution to the wind and going with it.

splsmama2016 · July 2017

@thatlauragirl if they insist, by all means go for it and have fun!! I'm assuming it's a different set of people than the ones who threw you a shower for DD, but regardless, and this is for anyone out there, if multiple people insist on throwing you a shower, why not enjoy the moment? I find it to be weird and frowned upon when it's the moms who want the second+ shower.

But seriously, enjoy it!!

thatlauragirl · July 2017

Yeah, my family and friends threw me one for my son. This is my coworkers and they've promised it'll be a casual lunch at a restaurant type of thing.

cait5413 · July 2017

I think it is totally fine to accept if people want to throw you a shower/sprinkle. I do think it's a little weird to try to throw yourself one.

lijuan09 · July 2017

I am not asking for anything, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my coworkers will try to throw something together. I just hope they tell me about it beforehand so I can point them more in the direction of diapers and less in the direction of pink frilly clothes. Lol

mrsorigami · July 2017

my sister has been wanting to do a baby shower for me but i told her from the beginning only a sprinkle would be okay. there's not really anything we need. i really just want to have a small get together with a few of my closet girlfriends. so we're looking at a day in november and having a chili bar! it should be yummy and fun.

KayLee77 · July 2017

I was curious about this topic as well. My grandma was asking if I was having another shower and some friends were asking about it as well. I shot them all down because I didn't really know whats right and wrong on it. This is my third. and so far we don't know what we are having (ultrasound is Thursday) and not totally sure if I want to find out. my other 2 are boys and there will be a 7 year age gap between my youngest and this one. I guess if someone did something small, i'd be ok with it, but as of now there is no plans.

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