Anyone doing IVF in July/August?

helloworld9 · July 2017

Ladies I'm in a bit of a dilemma... My Ovidrel trigger shot is scheduled for tomorrow evening. I just finished my 12th day of stims tonight. Which means egg retrieval is Saturday.

I had already scheduled a short domestic family vacation with my husband and my mom, which flies out Sunday and returns Wednesday. Thing is, my RE told me today to cancel the trip because he is worried about OHSS and I told him I will cancel.

If numbers mean anything, my estadriol after 11 days of stims was 4000, and my largest follicles are measuring 20mm. My AMH is a little above 4.0. I believe they've counted around 20 follicles this morning. They've also prescribed Dostinex, which after some Googling is supposed to prevent OHSS, and they will have me start that the night of trigger, going on for 10 days.

I'm just really hesitant to cancel because my mom is kind of a narcissist (well, she is full blown NPD), and I did not tell her I'm doing IVF. I'm leaning towards not following doctor's orders (!!) and going on the trip. I'm more afraid of my mom's reaction or something. I had super anxiety today during work just thinking about my mom or what to say to her. (yes, it's quite depressing she still has such a hold on me).

What would you do in my shoes? Has anyone experienced flying out the day after ER?

@funkykey - That's so funny. I also threw out all of our condoms last year. There is no point keeping them around when you don't need them right. That sucks about the polyp! It always seems like there is something that benches us.

@allycheer00 - If I press on the site, it feels like a bruise. But you can't see any bruising on the surface. I think it'll heal over time but that was a bad experience! Every other shot was fine except that one.

@p2007 - The wait is the worst part for sure. But we've all already waited this long for this moment. It can never come soon enough.

@Irisheyes81 - Please join! It's always more lively with more people.

Holls214 · July 2017

@helloworld9 I ended up with moderate OHSS after my ER. We had 28 follicles and they retrieved 12. All of mine were fairly large. I also have PCOS which can play a factor. I was in quite a bit of pain for the first 3-4 days especially while trying to go to the bathroom. The worst part by far was the bloat which took almost 2 weeks to go away. I would go on your trip and take pain meds if needed. I took them probably until day 4 or 5. Then things got a bit better. Make sure you are able to go number 2 (tmi). I think my pain was a bit worse since I couldn't go for the first 4 days until I took a laxative. We had the doctor check me on day 5 after ER and my ovaries were the size of large oranges still with some floating fluid.
Maybe the trip will be helpful for you. Just make sure you are able to lay down and relax during it too. Also LOTS of electrolytes! And I mean a lot.

AlohaKumu · July 2017

*lurker*
@helloworld9 OHSS can be VERY serious. I know it's annoying to have to cancel a trip, but you wouldn't want to have to be hospitalized on your trip. (I had to push back a cycle for IVF due to conference travel.) It sounds like it might make things difficult with your mom, but should there be a medical emergency, it would really complicate your situation. I would follow your doctor's advice/orders.

helloworld9 · July 2017

@Holls214 - I'm not diagnosed with PCOS, but I have heard that you can still get OHSS without PCOS. Thanks for the #2 advice, I've read that too.

@AlohaKumu - Yes, that's true... my husband is really worried about my decision to still go. But he also understands my complex relationship with my mom. It really sucks when you think the better alternative is to do whatever you can to avoid any conflict with your N mother, because in all honesty that's how I feel.

gfgrump · July 2017

@bionerdsteph nice, love that you get it on when you're stimming. I'm like, yeah, don't come near me.
@funkykey arg. That seriously sucks. I'm sorry. The waiting is so frustrating. But sometimes it feels like something is so far away and then all of a sudden it's upon you. So gl with dealing the polyp.
@Irisheyes81 welcome!
@Bababatty gl on the funding. That would be amazing to get. Have you all seen the doc Vegas Baby? It's on netflix. I just watched it on sunday. Pretty good. This clinic in vegas ran a video contest to offer one free cycle of ivf.

AFM- had my first monitoring appt yesterday. Went fine. I have 19 baseline follies, lining looked good, and nothing standing in the way. So began my Omnitrope last night. Just call me Barry Bonds, bc I swear I ran my fastest 4 miles ever this afternoon. Could it really work that fast? I'll just tell myself that it is.
I think it's also making me very testy. Either that or DH is just driving me crazy. Or we're actually both driving each other crazy. I'm on vacation and he works from home, so we're both home all day. It's a little cuckoo over here. It's probably the stress of all of this. Anyway, need to find a way to relax and feel calm. I am making jeans though, so I'll post a picture when they're done. Looking pretty good so far and I've only screamed profanities twice, so you know, success in that dept.

funkykey · July 2017

@helloworld9 - my vote is cancel and lie to your mom. I'm sorry about the NPD- I'm sure you have a difficult relationship and that she is a nightmare to have a conflict with- but you should do what you need to do to put yourself first during this time.

ETA: good luck!! You can do it!!

baker+RN · July 2017

@helloworld9 I completely agree 3000% with @funkykey on doing what you need to do to put yourself first. If it helps, think of it as putting your baby or family first. Boundaries are difficult to maintain with a NPD parent. It's up to you if you want to lie (or lie by omission). You can say you need to have a minor but very necessary medical procedure done and have been advised by your doctor to not travel for a few days after. She doesn't need to know details

bionerdsteph · July 2017

haha yes we definitely have a robust sex life that I think the stims might have even helped. Although my hubby got the 30 pack & I thought that was a bit over the top for 2 weeks.

@helloworld9 I was super uncomfortable & cramps the day after retrieval, I would not have wanted to be on a plane for a few days at least.

marioana99 · July 2017

@helloworld9 I would be afraid to go on a plain so soon after a small surgery. I was on the plane on my second day of AF and it was such a mess. Because of the change in pressure the AF came gushing out, I mean I filled 2 large absorbents, stained my jeans and the chair, I was so mortified. You don't want to put more stress on your ovaries with taking off and landing...
Just lie to your mom, tell her you need a polyp removed, no big deal but you can't fly so soon afterwards...

funkykey · July 2017

@bionerdsteph - 30?! LOL.

@helloworld9 - I said "lie" because that can make it easier. If/when she finds out, maybe then you can have a confrontation- but ideally you can buy yourself some time before, so you can recover.... obviously totally up to you, but I've got to tell you, I've really benefitted from setting boundaries in the past. It's painful and messy and sometimes I'm wrong- like sometimes I overreact or something- but overall it's served me well. Courage!

Also, do you have any siblings? What do they say? My sisters and I spend sooo much time talking about our parents, it's crazy. Maybe they'll have good advice or can cover for you?

I'm so uncomfortable right now, I can't even imagine going anywhere! I just want to stay home!

funkykey · July 2017

Side note: I was proud of my H yesterday.

So often through this journey, I've sensed a lot of misogyny. IF is largely a women's health issue - even if your issue is MFI, the lion's share of the treatments falls to women, and I wonder if this is why it's so common to see lack of support or funding, or to be told that you'll conceive if you just "relax". I've complained to my H about this, and talked a lot about how insidious it is, how it makes me feel like I'm losing my mind, when I'm really just like: "look, I'm just trying to make my body work the way I want it to, so I can move on with my life."

Anyway, so yesterday he was reading up on the actual transfer process, and came across this:

At our IVF clinic, we have the woman lie on her back for 1 hour after embryo transfer before going home. We request that she also limit physical activity for the remainder of that day. This means bed rest after the IVF transfer for the rest of the day and that night. It does not necessarily mean total "bed rest" but can be hanging out on the couch or in the Lazy-boy recliner - watching videos, reading, bossing hubby around, etc.

H was like: "WTF?" and showed me, and I thought to myself: "Oh man, he's starting to see it!"

I know it was probably just some quack at that particular clinic, but I've got to say, I can't imagine seeing that instruction targeted to men, like: "Hang out on your Lazy-boy recliner - watching videos, reading, bossing your wife around, etc."

Ok, off soapbox now... I promise!

Bababatty · July 2017

I actually have a question for the group: It seems like some people's doctors have advised against exercise during the entire IVF cycle and others have not. In theory, I'm signed up for a race in September because I've stopped putting my life on hold for a baby that never seems to want to come (which I'd cancel if IVF is successful), but I'm wondering if I could keep running during stimming. Obviously, I'll ask my own RE, but I'm curious as to what others' REs have said.

@funkykey Ughhh I am so sorry about the polyp! Of course it's something you weren't even expecting that causes the delay. I'm also really sorry that it's now going to force you into yet another invasive procedure. Nothing about this process is ever fair, it seems. Here's hoping the next few cycles go by quickly for you. FX also for a successful retrieval tomorrow and that you get some really nice embies out of it!!

@helloworld9 I can't offer you any advice on the situation, but hugs for you since you're having to deal with this.

@Dwmmwd Thanks! I haven't seen that documentary, but I heard about a similar contest at an IVF clinic here in NYC this year. There was a New York Times article about it and the comments were all so negative about how these people should adopt, over population, blah blah blah. Made me really angry. I should really stop reading comments sections, haha. ANYWAY I'm glad everything is going well so far for your this cycle!

Holls214 · July 2017

@funkykey I basically told my hubby that was what he would be doing for me after our FET. I am going to watch a bunch of crap tv and get taken care of.

They can be the housewife for a couple days.

Irisheyes81 · July 2017

@funkykey I heard about that relaxing/resting thing too! An hour seems like a really long time with a full bladder. @holls214 that sounds so nice and after all of this, a day of rest sounds amazing doesn't it?!

marioana99 · July 2017

@Bababatty The reason they say not to exercise during stimming is because the ovaries get really big, and jumping around can cause torsion which can lead to ovary loss...

bionerdsteph · July 2017

@Bababatty I'm a runner/ generally really active so I thought I'd want to run through most of stims until they told me absolutely stop. I was wrong after a few days of stims it started to get really uncomfortable to run- felt like I had a couple sacks of marbles bouncing around in there. I stopped and by the end of stims I was waddling and walking was a challenge. I'm a little over a week from ER and finally starting to feel like I could run, going to try tomorrow.

funkykey · July 2017

@Bababatty - I'm a pretty active person, and I was ok the first couple of days of stimming. My doctor didn't tell me anything except "use your best judgment", and I was fine going to yoga, cycling, and swimming laps. But then around day 3/4, I wasn't comfortable, and I've been taking it easy since - I guess that's just this week though. I plan to take it easy this weekend too, and I probably won't jump back on my bike/in the pool until I'm feeling up for it. What we're doing to our ovaries is very taxing - I want to be gentle with myself, at least during this time.

@Holls214 - exactly! I think it was just the language that we thought was off, though. Like, of course my husband is going to take care of me after the retrieval and when I'm feeling sick - that's what people who love each other do. Of course he's going to make dinner and bring me water and all of that. I'm sure the writer was joking, like: "bossing hubby around", but when I think about how we talk about women who take care of their recovering husbands, and about how much more most women do at home than men, it just seemed like such a tasteless way of describing how a husband might take care of a wife while she was unwell. Rather than being like: "letting your husband dote on you", it's like the most unflattering way to talk about that possible - both to a wife and a husband - and super unprofessional to boot!

Holls214 · July 2017

@funkykey yes I totally agree! Also yes exercising while doing stims at least for me was impossible. Waddling around for 2 weeks due to the pressure and bloat. I couldn't even golf which made me sad. Rest up!

allycheer00 · July 2017

@funkykey What a bummer! I swear it's always something. As if us IF ladies haven't had enough problems in life.

@helloworld9 Have you decided what you are going to do?

@bababatty My clinic never mentioned anything to me about exercise. They must've took one look at me and knew it wasn't an issue lol

@bionerdsteph A sack of marbles? Sounds awful!

AFM, Had my day 4 E2 today. It went up to 145 so my meds aren't changing. Luckily, today I found a few threads about what levels should/can be so I stopped freaking out about mine being too low. Next up is an u/s on Saturday. I'm really interested to see what's going on. My left ovary is starting to make itself known.

[Deleted User] · July 2017

Welcome @Irisheyes81 !!!! I was feeling the same way once we knew what our timeline was.... April.... May.... JUNE!!!! So grateful to have this July/August thread start up. I am learning so much from these warriors! ❤

[Deleted User] · July 2017

Omg @funkykey I like your wording sooo much better!!! DH may feel welcome to dote to his sweet heart's content! :D

But FIRST!!! I will get to dote on him! We got his preauth letter in the mail today... Not gonna lie - there were tears. Lol He got his BW drawn for Genescreen this morning and picked up his other pre-procedural lab slips from the RU this afternoon... he's got to go into Labcorp Saturday to have them drawn, and then we are GTG! NPO after midnight next Thursday, and a week from tomorrow, we will know if we so in fact get to proceed... fx

Edit to fix tag

funkykey · July 2017

@BusinessWife - aaah! Great news!

helloworld9 · July 2017

funkykey, baker+RN, bionerdsteph, marioana99, Bababatty, allycheer00 - Thank you so much for your thoughts! It seems I'm being really stupid and letting my anxiety and my complicated relationship with my mom dictate things. Even my husband very much wants me to stay home after ER. I still am on the fence... I might have to make a gametime decision...

I do have a brother. Thing is, he's a dude, so I don't really talk about TTC with him. We do cover for each other on other things because yes, our mom can get batshit insane. I just don't know how comfortable I am talking to him about IVF or anything related to sex.

Bababatty - I have read that lighter exercise is ok during stims, but if you start to feel uncomfortable then you should consider lightening it up. I have to say, right now with my egg retrieval scheduled for Saturday AM, envisioning even a brisk walk makes me cringe. My abdomen is very much bloated and even eating a decently portion sized meal makes me feel incredibly full. Add gas to the mix and it's a disaster like tonight.

[Deleted User] · July 2017

@helloworld9 yeah... it's tough. My mom doesn't know what's been going on... I haven't told my brother, but I did recently open up to SIL. It already means so much to know we have her in our corner. MIL I feel like would be as supportive as humanly possible... we just don't want to worry her or get her hopes up till we know about the mesa/tese. My mom is a doctor, but she has a knack for saying things that just piss me off instead of comfort or encourage.... so... not sure what you would call her personality! But I have wanted to guard my heart before sharing too much. So I get it.

I don't think you have to tell her if you're not ready. But I don't think it's a bad idea either. Is she the type that wants grandbabies??? Bc I mean - they would of course be an extension of herself. ;) she may be more supportive than you think! Bc it's not so much even about <i>YOU</i>, to a personality like that, as like I said, <i>HER</i> future <i>GRANDBABIES</i>. Idk. But it's seriously not worth putting yourself in that much physical discomfort by flying, and certainly not risking the health of your ovaries to get in a plane right now. If you want to tell her polypectomy or whatever - maybe that's close enough - but I know you really don't want to cancel at all. No one may be able to talk you out of your decision if your mind is made up. But I agree it would be a far better choice imho to do the hard thing and tell her you cannot go... ((hugs))

@funkykey. I'm so sorry about the delay señor polyp is causing.... not sure if it helps but *TW*

<div class=" Spoiler">There is a dear friend you may know too @eggplantface who, I believe, had to delay transfer for a polypectomy too, and she is now chillin' on her BMB. J/s. ;)</div>
Maybe the short delay will be just the thing that sets the stars into alignment for you. ❤❤❤

Bababatty · July 2017

Thank you, all, for the input on exercising! It sounds like even if my RE said exercise was fine, I won't want to, anyway--and that's ok. I suspect my RE probably leans more on the cautious side, but I'll bring it up if they don't. Thanks!!

@funkykey I hope your retrieval went well today and you're recuperating nicely at home!

@allycheer00 I'm glad it sounds like all is progressing--and you found a website to ease your anxiety. :-) Good luck at your u/s this Saturday!

funkykey · July 2017

Hey guys, just resting after ER, but the official count is 13 eggs retrieved!

So now we wait...

[Deleted User] · July 2017

Awesome report @funkykey !!! Yay!!!! So happy for you today and looking forward to more great news as they progress! :D

Holls214 · July 2017

@funkykey yay!!! Exciting!!

helloworld9 · July 2017

@funkykey - Great news! I hope you have many make it to blast.

gfgrump · July 2017

@funkykey great! 13 is a good #. Fx for you. Keep us updated!

funkykey · July 2017

Another update:

Of the 13 retrieved, 11 were mature. 9 of those 11 have fertilized.

Because we're unexplained, our RE had advised ICSI, but we wanted to see if my
eggs could be fertilized with regular old IVF. 10 of our eggs we did ICSI on, resulting in 8 that fertilized, but 2 eggs they tried IVF on, and one of those fertilized.

Now, of course, I'm sending all sorts of good vibes to our 9. Grow, grow, grow!

And also, of course, because I don't say this enough: sending lots of love to you all. Honestly, this process feels like getting beaten up every day, a little bit - it's stressful and expensive and never-ending - and I feel so grateful for you all and to have found this group of women to talk to. Your support has kept my heart warm on the coldest days!

Thank you so much!

Holls214 · July 2017

@funkykey thinking of you and your embryos! 9 is a great number. Keep us posted.

[Deleted User] · July 2017

Yay!!! @funkykey. That is amazing news!!!! Congratulations and (((hugs))) it is exhausting for sure, but it's good we ha e each other to lean on... ❤

helloworld9 · July 2017

Hello ladies! I am recovering after ER this morning. The doctor told me he got 20 eggs (!!) I had my procedure at 8am and arrived home around 10am. Immediately after my abdominal area had sharp pangs of pain anytime I moved (or laughed or went to pee). I took a couple Advil, chugged electrolytes, and laid down for a while. I started to feel bloated again and chugged some more electrolytes.

I have a bad feeling this is going to last a while. I may end up having to make a last minute cancel decision tomorrow... not looking forward to that conversation with my mom. I might just say I have really bad period cramps, I dunno.

gfgrump · July 2017

@funkykey 9! Wow. Great news. Fx for the next hurdle of blast. Keep the updates coming! Its nice to hear whats happening with others.
@helloworld9 seriously take it easy. It was a small surgery but surgery nonetheless.

Afm- starting to feel bloated from the stims. Tonight is night 5. Tomorrow is my next US and bw and I'm really looking forward to knowing how things are going. In other news, we bought a car. A 2013 honda civic with very low milleage and got a good price. Im not that into cars and I kinda didnt care that much, but my last car was 15 years old. So good to feel confident in my car in that its safe and all that. Especially with the hope that we'll be driving a baby around in it someday and not worry about it breaking down.

Irisheyes81 · July 2017

That's such amazing news @funkykey. Congrats! How are you feeling?

Great news for you too, @BusinessWife! Thanks for the shout out. It's always nice to have people to talk to with this crazy journey.

@helloworld9 20 is amazing. I hope you are relaxing and taking care of yourself. How did your mom take it?

quinnf2017 · July 2017

Hi, I'm a new member but I've been lurking for over a year. I'm 35 (DOR) and DH is 36 (MFI). NTNP for about 9 years. Tomorrow is my last day of BCP and I start stims for 1st IVF on 7/20. Not sure if we are doing PGS testing. I'm on an antagonist protocol. I've also been taking CoQ10, DHEA, prenatals & vitamin D. Trying not to over obsess but it has been a challenge.

baker+RN · July 2017

Just now catching up on everyone...

@funkykey and @helloworld9 that's awesome! Congrats to you both!! Great numbers!

@funkykey yeah that wording is def off and weird...!

@Bababatty I was in the same boat - I signed up for a 10K in September not realizing we would be hitting the ground running this month with IVF and had to sit on the sidelines with running during stims. I def don't feel like running now, let alone walking, especially in the afternoons when the bloat seems to be worse.

AFM- "You just need one."

Getting a little tired of hearing that with regards to sperm count/follicle count/embryos.

It's not that simple. I've explained it as "No, you need the right egg, the right sperm, the right uterine lining, and the right time. And it would be nice to have more than one so I don't have to get poked daily by needles and ultrasound probes another time around." Just needed to vent. My left ovary seemed to sleep through the stims process and has maybe 2 mature follicles. Rightie was the workhorse, as the doc put it, and has maybe another 5 mature follicles. Triggering tonight! ER on Monday and hopefully transfer on Saturday if all goes well

Follicle fairy dust, sticky embie vibes, and baby dust to all others in the thick of it with me!

Holls214 · July 2017

Great news with all your ER lately and stims! We just got our protocol for our FET which will be August 17th if all goes as planned. Going to be doing estrogen pills then progesterone shots. Seems so far away! Embaby dust to you all!

sleepyrn · July 2017

Late to the thread but I start stims for round 3 on July 28. Retrieval somewhere between the 9-16.

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