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March 2018 Moms
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STM+ Check-in

ladybugsamomladybugsamom member
edited July 2017 in March 2018 Moms
How far along are you? 

How old are your other kids? 

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?  

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/

GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)?
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Re: STM+ Check-in

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  • garnetmamagarnetmama member
    @ladybugsamom do you have an employer that you're concerned about telling? Do you have to tell in order to request time off for appointments? For my last pregnancy I waited until I returned from some work travel around 14 weeks. That was plenty of time to begin preparing for my leave. I plan to do the same this time barring any major issues.
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  • ladybugsamomladybugsamom member
    @garnetmama  No, I don't think I would have to tell them the reason I need the time off.  But we're preparing for our busy season (4th quarter) and they become strict with time off during this time.  I think they'll be less likely to give me a hard time if they knew my recurring appointments were pregnancy related.
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  • ladybugsamomladybugsamom member
    @emklein86 - I know how you feel.  My DS was 8 months old when I found out I was expecting DD and I cried for weeks over the guilt I felt.  I felt like he needed me all to himself and how unfair I was being to him by having another baby so soon.  He was 17 months old when she was born.  I think it's normal to feel that way, but the guilt will subside. (hugs)
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  • emklein86emklein86 member
    @ladybugsamom thank you! We were so happy when we found out we were expecting, but as soon as I looked at DD I just started crying. I'm trying to look at it differently now. My sister and I are only 23 months apart as well, so I know boy or girl they'll grow up to be the best of friends.
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  • garnetmamagarnetmama member
    ladybugsamom said:
    @garnetmama  No, I don't think I would have to tell them the reason I need the time off.  But we're preparing for our busy season (4th quarter) and they become strict with time off during this time.  I think they'll be less likely to give me a hard time if they knew my recurring appointments were pregnancy related.
    That makes sense... I think you just have to do what you're comfortable with! Also, I'd be concerned with if my boss would keep my secret or not... my boss my last pregnancy I knew the secret would be out soon once I told her ha.
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  • LiveNLove44LiveNLove44 member
    @megpeg our DD will be 4 at the end of August and is doing the same thing. After I have time to step away and take a breath, I find myself being annoyed at how I should be able to be more patient at times. My tired and crabby pants are on in full force by lunch time :frowning: Here's hoping we aren't as bad as we might feel sometimes! :wink:
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  • emklein86emklein86 member
    @LiveNLove44 you just made my day!! Thanks for that. I can't wait to watch the playing and learning unfold. I'm sure it's the best thing ever!! 
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  • garnetmamagarnetmama member
    @LiveNLove44 we are in a similar situation - we would like to move but are stressing at the thought of two day care bills so we are waiting to see what our budget looks like in a year or so!
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  • LiveNLove44LiveNLove44 member
    @arhodes6 I kind of feel that way, too, about people not being as excited as with the first. Now that it's my third, my mom was like, "Aw, that's nice!" Whereas with my first, she was knitting a baby blanket, buying a PNP for her own house, planning a baby book, etc. before the second trimester! What gives? :smile:
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  • Everycol0rEverycol0r member
    ladybugsamom said:
    @garnetmama  No, I don't think I would have to tell them the reason I need the time off.  But we're preparing for our busy season (4th quarter) and they become strict with time off during this time.  I think they'll be less likely to give me a hard time if they knew my recurring appointments were pregnancy related.
    4th quarter hell. 
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  • deleted22152218deleted22152218 member
    How far along are you? 
    4 weeks today, if I'm right about O day. Haven't seen a doc yet but I'm almost certain.

    How old are your other kids? 
    DD will be 2 next month.

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?
    Of course my main concern is how having another baby will shake things up for DD, but I know in my heart that having a sibling will make her childhood awesome. Someone to ride the school bus with, sneak cookies with, hate mom with :lol: I know it will be great so I'm trying not to focus on my fears or worries.

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    DD loves babies, we're around babies a lot. So I think that she will love "helping" me change diapers and give bottles, etc. I just know she will love her sister or brother.

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
    Nada

    GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)?
    We haven't told a lot of people yet but so far it's been mostly positive from the few who we have told. 
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  • alfibetalfibet member
    How far along are you? 
    5 1/2 weeks

    How old are your other kids? 
    Step son is 7, dd is 2.5

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?  
    Just the guilt. I didn't feel it quite as bad with ss. I had a lot of fear of losing freedom while pregnant with DD, but now I think of how hard everything will he lugging 3 kids around. They are both insanely excited though. That helps.

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    Just joyful to go through it again. I was miserable last pregnancy and swore I'd never do it again. Then I got really sad after I delivered that I didn't try harder to enjoy pregnancy. I'm glad me and my h changed our minds and I get to do this again. I'm gonna try really hard to enjoy it.. lol!

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
    not really. I've sorta done the STM thing before. We have 50% custody and had SS for over a week straight after I delivered dd, so I got a pretty good taste of newborn with an older sibling already :)

    GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)?
    Everyone seems pretty excited. We've only shared with immediate family and friends. Haven't decided ok how to announce yet. I'm terrible at keeping secrets though..
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  • KristinUM12KristinUM12 member
    ellekell said:

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    There was a Pampers commercial on TV yesterday, with a bunch of newborn babies. DS kept saying "Awwww." Then he snuggled up next to me and said, "Me want you to be preg-a-nut, Mommy." (He is in speech therapy and still uses me instead of I). It might have been the cutest thing he's ever said :)



    Stuck in quote box >:( ... That is so sweet! My heart just melted from reading that...
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  • sassypants2010sassypants2010 member
    How far along are you? 
    5 weeks 2 days
    How old are your other kids? 
    Almost 5 and 2 years 
    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?  I am mostly worried about the fact that we're going to need to move to another apartment in our complex with a 3rd bedroom or find a completely new place. 

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : My son is excited this time instead of being sad like with his sister. 

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
     None right now.
    GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)? 
    My mom is excited, besides my husband and kids she is the only one that knows.
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  • arhodes6arhodes6 member
    dmo1371 said:

      I'm also a little sad it won't just be him anymore and worry how that will affect our relationship.


    STUCK!!! ^^^ this exactly!! That scares me too! DS is my little sidekick. We do everything together and he is the sweetest, funniest, and silliest with just me. It's probably irrational because people have 2nd babies all the time, but I'm afraid it will change. 
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  • notthefathernotthefather member
    How far along are you? 4 weeks, 5 days
    How old are your other kids?     4
    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?  Just general early symptoms and anxiety about waiting to hear a heartbeat. My first appointment is the 31st and I'm so anxious about it.
    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : My 4yo is going to be SO excited! She has been asking for a sibling for a long time and brings it up often. Assuming all goes well, this will definitely be my last pregnancy so I want to enjoy and appreciate it.
    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/ I'm still researching NIPTs and trying to decide which one to go with. I'm half way considering doing two just to compare results. I don't know why I'm so fixated on testing this time. 
    GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)? So far only a few very close friends know. My husband wants to wait until we hear a heartbeat to tell any family. This baby will almost certainly be the last baby on both sides of our family and there hasn't been a new baby for 4 years. Both sets of our parents have mentioned they would love one more grandchild so I'm sure they'll be excited.


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  • kburg15kburg15 member
    How far along are you? 
    4 weeks 4 days

    How old are your other kids? 
    1 next week

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?      I'm currently so nervous about adding a second and having two under two. I'm so glad to see so many moms here who are on the 2nd+ child who also maybe feel some guilt. I've been feeling so guilty about taking energy away from DS and then time when the new baby arrives that I haven't been able to be as excited or feel like I'm enjoying these first few weeks like I did when I found out I was pregnant with him--and then I feel guilty for feeling guilty! Hopefully this passes soon. 

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :
    Like a few others mentioned, nothing beats brand new baby snuggles and being on maternity leave bonding with them. I'm so excited to see DS with a baby--right now we "play baby" which just involves him holding and kissing a stuffed animal, but it's so cute. I'm also really excited that he will have a built in best friend. My sister and I were 2 years apart and it was the best growing up--we are still extremely close. 

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
    Not at the moment. But any advice on two under two is greatly welcome and appreciated!

    GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)?
    I've only told my best friend, who has struggled with infertility over the last year. She actually told me she was pregnant on Saturday, and I got my BFP Sunday and told her--we're about a week and a half apart, which I'm thrilled about. We haven't told family yet and I'm putting it off. I feel like we'll get a little judgment (esp from my mom) and, even if everyone is over the top excited, I'm not ready to deal with all that hype just yet. Or for people to want to talk about it 24/7--I'm just too tired haha. And still feeling a bit guilty because of DS, so I feel like I need to just "get right" with it first. I hope this didn't come off as whiny or not grateful to be pregnant--I so am! Just a lot of emotions on having #2 that I didn't deal with the first time around :)
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  • mdfarmchickmdfarmchick member
    How far along are you? 
    Between 6 & 7 weeks

    How old are your other kids? 
    Almost 2 

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?  
    I have back up this month ((visiting my family)) and I'm hoping that some of the nausea and such wears off by the time I head back home. 
    C is getting his 2 year molars right now and that makes him a whiny mess. And I'm still bummed about him giving up naps 6 months ago. I want to try to instigate a quiet time at least.
    Like everyone else, I'm a little sad about changing our dynamic. I'm not sure how C is going to take sharing my attention and he is so sweet these days! I get so many hugs and kisses and extra snuggles. I don't want that to change. But I also remember thinking similar thoughts with our DS so... I know it will be fine. 

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    I can't wait to see my little one as a big brother. C has been playing "baby" spontaneously this week with his aunt and his Grammy and it's cute to watch him kiss the "baby" and feed the "baby" a bottle. It's also funny to me how he suddenly started carrying around one of my mom's baby dolls.  :D

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
    Any TTMs on here want to weigh in on the jump from one to two?? Ha. 

    GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)?
    My parents and siblings know--and they were definitely more subdued I think because **TW** I had just told them all a week before we ending losing my pregnancy in June. **End TW** So I think when I've had an appointment with an u/s and/or heartbeat and get to the second trimester they will get more excited. I've told my military "sisters," my previous BMB, and a couple of close friends--all of whom shared my loss and all of whom are very excited for this baby. I have no idea when we will tell the ILs. Depends on if we see them on this trip to the East Coast or if we don't see them until August. And I might not tell then if I can still hide it. My MIL and SIL tend to have crap reactions to things that make me feel bad. Ha. 
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  • pghctwifepghctwife member
    How far along are you? 
    5w6

    How old are your other kids? 
    6, 4.5, 2

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM or questions about things your children are going through now?  
    its been an adjustment from kindergarten full day to... summer. My oldest is always by far my hardest kid and he is just struggling with testing boundaries and growing pains I thinks. The whining, the tantrums, the bickering! He hurts my 4yo feeling s who doesn't my really understand and they fight iver the toddler son attention. He is super high energy and extroverted and I'm not getting him out in hikes and runs and such like I wasnted. And he said really missing his friends.

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    when I was a stm my oldest was oblivious but last time he was much more conscious of the pregnancy so that was fun. This time it will be more so... he remembers the day Rory was born, I assume one of if not the first memoryso he knows what time expect kinda. And Isaac is old enough to understand too. I can't  wait to tell them, they've been asking for a baby since Rory was born lol. Henry has told me a few times Tim go snuggle with daddy and make a baby hahahahaha

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions/
    I found it easier than 0-1. The learning curve for being a mom is huge and that made things smooth for number 2

    GTKY: How are people reacting to your news (or have you not shared yet)? 
    The people have I know are my family's and friends and are thrilled, knows how much I wanted this. My ils are visiting tomorrow and through the weekend and they judged us for 3 so I'm sure they will think we are making a mistake again. But if we tell them we had a loss then they have to be nice muahahaha




    11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
    05/2017 cp
    08/03/17 no hb 8w

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  • mdfarmchickmdfarmchick member
    Aww. Pregnancy hormones. Now I'm tearing up, @chasingroygbiv. Thank you for the encouragement and example  <3
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