July Benched

splashmountain · July 2017

Howdy, Benchwarmers!

Not sure how many there are, but figured I'd get this going just in case.

How's it going?

splashmountain · July 2017

I'm currently 6+ months out from my MC and so freaking terrified it will happen again that I'm not ready to ttc just yet. I know another loss will suck no matter how long it's been, but I know I wouldn't handle it very well right now.

Everyone asks me when we're going to try again and giving me unwanted advice like "you don't want the age gap to be too big" and "you'll be so old when they leave the house if you don't try now" *eyeroll* I'm sure people mean well, but they need to just mind their own business!

On a less rant-y note, I'm signing up for Spanish class this August. There are a lot of Spanish speaking people in my area and I think it would be beneficial to learn (read: I'll be able to eavesdrop in multiple languages

) I'm so excited!

dpjennifer · July 2017

I'm still on the bench. Another 15 lbs. to go before I'm off of it.

People's comments are the worst! It's why I've become so frank with my situation and not afraid to offend!!!

Sorry you're still so worried about another MC.

Hopefully you'll be fine the second time around and have no problems!!!

vlagrl29 · July 2017

@pumpkin0913 - peoples comments suck so much sometimes. Especially the age gap comment. People say no more than a 7 year gap or you'll have 2 only children. DD will be 7 next year March so we are at least looking at that. I was wanting a 5/6 year gap but that didn't happen. I'm at the point where I don't care about the age gap - another baby no matter when it happens is a total blessing. Another comment that irritated me was when I was talking about ladies I know older than me getting pregnant very easily and a neighbor said "well they were probably lucky" I'm starting to feel sometimes like a barren 37 year old.

Do what's right for you and screw everything else

hdaley · July 2017

My brother and I are 9 years apart. I wasn't an only child until he finished college. It was interesting growing up but he was also a protector of me. Now we aren't that close just due to living 5 hours apart. We are looking at almost a 6 year age gap at this point. We wanted it to be that way because of childcare, but in actuality we were just scared to live off of only one income. Now that we are successfully living off of one income we are regretting waiting but it is what it is.

Any child is a blessing no no matter the age gap.

Mack2342 · July 2017

My nieces are 22 and 6. The older one was like a 2nd mom to the younger one. It was super difficult on the younger one when the older one moved out. Who cares about the age difference between children. I'm only 3 years younger than my sisters (they are twins) and none of us were friends until college/adult age. So it doesn't matter

vlagrl29 · July 2017

@hdaley - I sometimes am regretting us waiting as long as we did too. My bad pregnancy with DD was one of the reasons I wanted to wait so long. I thought that if she was in Kindergarten I could do my puking while she was at school and not have to worry about taking care of her too. Also I'm not good at multi-tasking two littles. I wanted to devote all my energy into 1 baby at a time. Well go figure lol. How were we to know though?

rklinge0 · July 2017

@pumpkin0913 if I remember correctly, you are younger than me and I have yet to get the you will be so old when s/he graduates. You're around 30 correct?
On age difference, my MIL had all of her kids 5 years or more apart. The plus was that each of them got individual attention as a kid and she was able to send them to private schools, the county they lived in is one of the worst in the state. I am closer in age to my brothers and there are 2-3 years apart. We fought like crazy as kids but I feel like we are a lot closer as adults.
I was hoping for 3 year age difference between my 1st and 2nd. If I get pregnant again this year, it will be that.
And I agree, I was scared for another mc and pretty sure if I have another I would be out. This was one of the reasons why I went back on birth control for 7 cycles, and am staring to feel ready now.
Sorry I don't officially belong on the benched status this month as I guess it's more ntnp phase. But just wanted to chime in.

splashmountain · July 2017

Good luck with the weight loss @dpjennifer fx it goes quickly so you can get off the bench.

@vlagrl29 @hdaley that's where I am, another child will be so amazing I don't care how far apart they are.

@Mack2342 my sister is 4 years older and we're best friends, the age gap made no difference.

@rklinge0 I'm only 29! I'm getting the "old" comments from people who had all their kids when they were in their late teens, early twenties.

vlagrl29 · July 2017

Uh @pumpkin0913 29 is so not old! Grrr! Plenty of time you have!

splashmountain · July 2017

@vlagrl29 right!? People suck. I never push my opinions on others, I don't get why some think it's ok.

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