Natural Birth - Advice & Tips?

mmahoney831 · July 2017

Hi all - fairly new here, but as I'm coming up on my third trimester I've started thinking more about my birth plan (as I'm sure everyone else has too!). I'm committed to a natural birth at a birthing center, mostly because I'm terrified of hospitals and needles and so want to limit all medical interventions. I'm wondering if any other mamas out there are planning on an unmedicated birth, and what you are doing to prepare!

More about me... I'm a FTM, EDD is 10/3, it's a girl! I live in Boston and work full-time as a product manager, my husband works full-time as a software developer, and we have 2 adorable cockapoos!

Here are a few resources I've found recently that may be helpful for others:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
The Birth Partner - Revised 4th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions
Lucie's List on natural birth
Mind the Bump app (meditation/mindfulness)
A local HypnoBirthing workshop
Prenatal yoga classes & workshops
DoulaMatch.net for finding local doulas

yasandson · July 2017

mmahoney831 · July 2017

@yasandson I posted in the intro thread last month - is there something else I should do to intro? I also searched for this topic but didn't see any previous threads that were related. Happy to move this conversation elsewhere if you can point me to a thread that's already been started!

yasandson · July 2017

@mmahoney831 really sorry
As for which thread exactly, lol cant really remember as this subject was often brought up. Maybe you could try typing key words such as "unmedicated" in the search bar and scroll through the offered posts/threads.
(im at hospital waiting for apointment, TB mobile is a pain...)

virginiaham · July 2017

Hey OP, welcome. I actually have some of the same questions that you do. I found one thread on midwife vs OB and one on hypnobirthing, and while those threads are certainly helpful in their own ways on this topic, I'd love to open a broader discussion to FTMs and STMs, as prepping for natural birth is definitely not limited to midwives or hypnobirthing. Maybe we can open up discussion with some questions?

Topic disclaimer: the ultimate goal is to have a baby safely and there is no right or wrong way. HOWEVER your babies are born, October mamas,

Hokay, so.

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?

Anything else?

Questions?

(eta Any others to add??)

virginiaham · July 2017

**edited to change a duplicate post (whoops!!) into a reply**

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?

-Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth
-Childbirth Without Fear (this came highly recommended but I'm still a bit intimidated by it!)
-The Birth Partner
-the documentary The Business of Being Born was really my intro to this and I plan to watch it again for another little boost of encouragement before baby gets here.

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?

My local hospital's childbirth prep class actually has some natural laboring and pain control strategies that a friend thought were really helpful. I was really interested in the Lamaze and Birth Boot Camp (and one other I can't remember) but the cost and time commitment of the classes were pretty deterring factors for us. I'm going to ask my midwife this week if she thinks what's covered at the hospital course will be enough for me.

Anything else?

I'll also be looking to hire a doula. Also, natural labor and delivery scares me.

Questions?

Any STMs skip the natural birthing classes and wish you hadn't?

STMs, were any books/classes/resources more helpful for you than others?

STMs, what were your biggest obstacles when you faced natural birth?

mylittleversailles · July 2017

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?

My husband read The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin and he really liked it. I am not reading any books about pregnancy at this time; I read them all before TTC because I am a mega loser keener type person. I watched The Business of Being Born but its main points do not really apply to the kind of medical care I am getting in Toronto specifically. I appreciate its points, though and it made me feel more empowered to choose unmedicated.

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?

I am doing a Hypnobabies home course, starting today. It's super in depth and requires practice every day until birth.

Anything else?

We hired a doula. She's super pro "whatever is best", so will support us through labour, delivery and post-partum no matter which way things go.

I am pretty scared of needles, (though *tw* loss really helped clear some of that up end tw*) and narcotic pain medicine is processed differently by people with red hair (the genetic mutation that causes it affects other bodily processes) so I want to go in as prepared as possible to handle this without meds/ in the event meds aren't cutting it. My hospital and the group of family doctors I am working with has amazing policies in place that also support women in their birth choices; I feel so well taken care.

Hypnobabies is a liiiiiiiiiiitle (ok A LOT) on the crunchy side for me but I am trying with all my might to embrace the ideas (and discard some of the more unsavoury, unscientific and quite frankly shamey bits) that might help me labour as I am hoping to. I am a first timer, though, so I am 100% ready to throw everything out the window and am not against letting the power of nature humble me into whatever happens.

Questions?

Not at the moment!

yasandson · July 2017

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?
I havent read anything on the subjet, ive mostly just watched video conferences on the matter. I found this awesome midwife who does them, Stephanie Le Maistre, unfortunately most of them are in french and not translated.

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?
Im only taking prenatal classes. Dont even think they help out much on the subject but H and I will still attend. They start at the end of this month. I guess we'll see. All the video conferences ive watched, i feel, taught me a lot on how your body (and mind) operate and what helps you make an ideal setting for a natural birth... So naively maybe im feemling very confident. I also have faith in God's plan, so even if i am not able to reach my goal of giving birth naturally, despite all my efforts in doing so, i know whatevers meant to be will be, and I wont be sad just as long as baby is healthy

Questions? Not at the moment either!

keiraanne · July 2017

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?

To your list I'll also add Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Mama. I'm eating it up - her experiences and opinions really resonate with me. Our MW told us about Ina May's books as well.

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?

We didn't take any classes in natural birth, per se, but our local hospital apparently fosters a "whatever the mom wants, the mom gets" kind of environment. Last weekend we did a two-day prenatal boot camp that touched on this a bit, but our next MW appointment isn't until next week, so we haven't had a chance to discuss any specifics with her yet. I'm only 23 weeks along (today, actually!) so we also haven't drafted any kind of birth plan, so I should probably get on that.

Anything else?

I think a natural birth will probably look different for every mama. Sadly our hospital doesn't feature birthing pools, so I plan to labor at home with our MW for as long as possible, so I can try to relax, have a bath, indulge in some aromatherapy with my diffuser and a massage, etc. I know for certain that once I'm in the delivery ward, I want low lights and to have things kept as quiet as possible.

Questions?

None so far!

afwoods10 · July 2017

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?
I'm almost through Ina Mays Guide which is fabulous, and our Bradley teacher is letting me borrow Husband Coached Childbirth

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?
Taking Bradley classes right now (for the next 11 weeks) and that's pretty intense too. Like Hypno, it's practicing and specific exercises every day. Interested to see how much I retain in labor, lol.

Anything else?
I'm over the comments from everyone. I don't judge anyone for scheduling a csec or induction or having your baby hanging from the ceiling if you wanted to, so what's the big fuss about no meds? I just don't get it.

Questions?
I'd also love to hear any STM's experiences. I had an em-csec with my first so trying everything in my power to avoid that again, hence the no meds, etc.

mylittleversailles · July 2017

Aha! I do actually have a question/concern. I am so used to entertaining people, for lack of a better word, I worry that I'll be distracted by trying to make sure my husband/doula are taken care of while labouring. I'm always making sure people are well-fed, hydrated and have their emotional needs met. Is this a totally unfounded worry? Will my lizard brain take over and say eff you this is all about me & baby, just for now? Because that is soooo not a state I am used to living in it actually feels like an impossibility I'd ever reach it.

yasandson · July 2017

reneeannemm said:

Aha! I do actually have a question/concern. I am so used to entertaining people, for lack of a better word, I worry that I'll be distracted by trying to make sure my husband/doula are taken care of while labouring. I'm always making sure people are well-fed, hydrated and have their emotional needs met. Is this a totally unfounded worry? Will my lizard brain take over and say eff you this is all about me & baby, just for now? Because that is soooo not a state I am used to living in it actually feels like an impossibility I'd ever reach it.

So much this!!!

jessafishy · July 2017

reneeannemm said:

Aha! I do actually have a question/concern. I am so used to entertaining people, for lack of a better word, I worry that I'll be distracted by trying to make sure my husband/doula are taken care of while labouring. I'm always making sure people are well-fed, hydrated and have their emotional needs met. Is this a totally unfounded worry? Will my lizard brain take over and say eff you this is all about me & baby, just for now? Because that is soooo not a state I am used to living in it actually feels like an impossibility I'd ever reach it.

To the bolded. Yes.

You likely won't be able to focus on much else, especially if you are hoping to go med-free. It's worth it (I did mostly med-free last go around, with a few doses of fentanyl that were supposed to take the edge off and actually did nothing), but it's also an overwhelming experience.

yasandson · July 2017

@jessafishy to the rescue!! Glad to see you here mama ❤️

jessafishy · July 2017

@yasandson

I finally feel like I can breathe after the end/beginning of the month plus holiday craziness!

keiraanne · July 2017

reneeannemm I'm the same way and I have a hard time letting go, asking for help, or letting people do things for me. In our prenatal class, we learned some massage techniques that DH can use to relax me when I'm in labor, and I felt guilty "making" him give me a massage. I, too, hope I'll be able to just let my mama instinct take over and let go.

mylittleversailles · July 2017

@jessafishy Cool! Thank you. I will rely on that kicking in. I do trust that there is some baseline of instinct so that makes sense.

@keiraanne Right?? DH was telling me about all his plans to help me out and I totally felt pangs of unfounded guilt. It's not as though he hasn't done everything for me in this pregnancy, so I wish I could let it go. I feel you!

I started my course this afternoon and promptly panicked when the recording kept telling me to relax deeper, so this is gonna be an adventure.

alwaysadventure · July 2017

Jassafishy hit the nail on the head. For me everything but laboring & the contractions faded into the background. I wasn't able to be concerned about anyone but what was happening with my body. I too am someone who never asks for help and am definitely the 40 week pregnant lady making sure everyone around me is comfortable & happy but trust me all that goes out the window when the contractions really start.

keiraanne · July 2017

alwaysadventure That is so good (and reassuring) to know!

abaume · July 2017

@reneeannemm have ever been in an intense or stressful situation where you feel like you are in the zone? Everything else just fades into the background and you just get to work. That's what it's like. You don't care about anything else but the mission of getting that baby born!)

mylittleversailles · July 2017

@abaume I have but unfortunately those times have also been entirely traumatic (major tw: I found my best friend dead five years ago end tw). So while I understand birth can be traumatic, I'm hoping not to enter it with those times in my mind. I am, however, excellent and the most level-headed person in a crisis and I am great with putting my head down and getting shit done. That helps, thank you. I did wonder if that kind of thinking might play into the kerfuffle of childbirth.

yasandson · July 2017

@reneeannemm sorry to read about your bf s death, and the fact you witnessed on such a close level.

abaume · July 2017

@reneeannemm I am sorry to hear that about your bf. That's very sad.
Yes that level headedness is more what I was talking about. I have often felt similar during intense workouts, or when I have to give a speech. Lol, I have crazy stage fright. I kind of had the same feeling during my wedding. Obviously child birth is a much bigger deal. I do have to say the sense of accomplishment I felt after giving birth was the most satisfying feeling I have ever experienced. You will do great mama, you got this!!!

nofearinperfectlove · July 2017

afwoods10 said:

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?
I'm almost through Ina Mays Guide which is fabulous, and our Bradley teacher is letting me borrow Husband Coached Childbirth

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?
Taking Bradley classes right now (for the next 11 weeks) and that's pretty intense too. Like Hypno, it's practicing and specific exercises every day. Interested to see how much I retain in labor, lol.

Anything else?
I'm over the comments from everyone. I don't judge anyone for scheduling a csec or induction or having your baby hanging from the ceiling if you wanted to, so what's the big fuss about no meds? I just don't get it.

Questions?
I'd also love to hear any STM's experiences. I had an em-csec with my first so trying everything in my power to avoid that again, hence the no meds, etc.

@afwoods10 I agree about being over the comments. We decided not to tell anyone anything about our birth plans. I'm just annoyed with the judgement / skepticism. I also want to be able to make in-the-moment decisions that are best for baby without any "told you so" responses. I recently told my mom when she asked about a birth plan, "I don't think we're going to share that information." Is that horrible?

abaume · July 2017

@nofearinperfectlove I feel like it's a no win situation. Everyone has so many opinions about birth plans. You do what you think is best. Plus no one has a clue how they will feel when the moment comes or how their birth will play out. So of course changing your mind will be on the table.

itsamurphything · July 2017

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?
Ina May's guide to childbirth
Mindful birthing
Active birth

The other resource that has been HUGELY valuable to me, even before getting pregnant, has been a podcast called The Birth Hour. It is 2 birth stories a week told by mothers. The births are from all ends of the spectrum from spiritual home births to unplanned c-sections to breech, etc. I highly recommend it as it's neither scary nor too idealistic.

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?
I have been taking community "classes" or group appointments through my midwives group but I hope to take a class after I move to SF. If I can't find something quickly enough, I will probably do hypnobabies home study.

Anything else?
I'm considering a home birth but I'm getting some super judgey and fear-based comments from family. It makes me nervous to hear it but also I know the statistics show that home birth is as safe or safer than being in a hospital for low risk moms. I wish I had almost kept it a secret.

Questions?
Not that I can currently think of!

nofearinperfectlove · July 2017

@itsamurphything thanks for the podcast tip! I'm a podcast freak since I'm in the car a lot.

I'm just starting the natural birth research process, so I don't have any resources yet. But I plan to get Ina May's book!

I'm taking a generic class through my OB office. I'll probably also see what I can learn on my own online.

Question: Has anyone used or heard of using evening primrose oil to soften the cervix or red raspberry tea to strengthen the uterus and pelvic muscles?

itsamurphything · July 2017

@nofearinperfectlove another great podcast (if you don't mind some swearing) is One Bad Mother. It's two moms talking about all things related to motherhood and they are hilarious.

WRWrunnergirl · July 2017

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?
I've read:
- Husband Coached Childbirth
- a Hypnobirthing book ( can't think of the name)
I've started on:
- The Birth Partner
- Mama Natural week by week guide
- What to Expect when You're Expecting

What classes, if any, are you planning to take to help prep for going natural?
DH and I are taking a Bradley Method class starting in August. Although he doesn't really know it, yet.
I plan in having a doula (actually the one teaching the class), so I figure DH can do what he's comfortable with and she can take over everything else.

Anything else?
I like that some of you said you aren't sharing your birth plan. I may go that route. We'll see!! I know my brother in law is all for whatever meds you can get and it will be a debate. And my mom will have something to say no matter what I want to do.

Questions?

WRWrunnergirl · July 2017

@nofea

@nofearinperfectlove on: Has anyone used or heard of using evening primrose oil to soften the cervix or red raspberry tea to strengthen the uterus and pelvic muscles?

I've heard of friends using both, but more often the tea. I haven't looked into either too seriuosly yet. I might have a box of tea in my Amazon cart, just so I'd remember a brand that was recommended. I'd be interested in hearing from STMs.

nofearinperfectlove · July 2017

Update on evening primrose oil and red raspberry tea:
Tea- My midwife says that you would have to drink 5-6 cups a day from about 30 weeks to the end for it to have any effect. I don't know about y'all but I can't brew tea all day or go to the bathroom that much in a regular work day! I may still do some just for the psychological effect of thinking I'm strong and ready!
Oil- It can help, but also your cervix will ripen naturally, so "why not just let your body do it on its own?"
Just one professional's take on it but I thought I'd share!

virginiaham · July 2017

alwaysadventure said:

Jassafishy hit the nail on the head. For me everything but laboring & the contractions faded into the background. I wasn't able to be concerned about anyone but what was happening with my body. I too am someone who never asks for help and am definitely the 40 week pregnant lady making sure everyone around me is comfortable & happy but trust me all that goes out the window when the contractions really start.

Hey ladies just wanted to come back and share what my midwife shared with me at my appointment last week. I was wondering about going natural without doing a Lamaze/Bradley/Birth Boot Camp...like how would a woman birth a baby without taking a class (real fleeting concerns virginiaham has)?? She encouraged me that women have done this without taking a class for centuries, but she highly recommended investing in a doula (eta) that we trust. Going back to what @jessafishy and @alwaysadventure were talking about, investing in a doula for that very reason. Because the doula is focused on helping you, and also helping your partner help you and also making sure he gets the breaks he needs as well.

I thought it was really helpful to hear and just wanted to pass that encouragement/insight on ❤

nofearinperfectlove · July 2017

@virginiaham thanks for that tip... I need to figure out cost and how insurance might play a part...

marmedello · July 2017

virginiaham said:

**edited to change a duplicate post (whoops!!) into a reply**

What books are on your bookshelf or reading list to help you prep for natural birth?

-Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth
-Childbirth Without Fear (this came highly recommended but I'm still a bit intimidated by it!)
-The Birth Partner
-the documentary The Business of Being Born was really my intro to this and I plan to watch it again for another little boost of encouragement before baby gets here.

> I cannot seem to write outside the grey box. I watched business of being born and it's very inspirational. I also just started reading Childbirth Without Fear an an so grateful that I did. It has opened my mind up do much about birth already so i highly recommend it.

marmedello · July 2017

This is my 2nd pregnancy and the first was an unmediated VBAC. My MIL who gave birth 8 times told me many times how important it is to relax during contractions. I tried it and it does significantly reduce the amount of pain I was experiencing. Hypnobirthing is kind of popular so as I looked it up I found out it was based on the teachings from the book Childbirth Without Fear. The author emphasizes how tension and fear ultimately lead to, or increase pain in childbirth. He opened my mind to the fact that it is physically possible to have a pain free unmedicated birth, which surprised me as I was under the impression that everyone experiences at least some amount of pain.

My MIL said her VBAC deliveries were nearly painless and I'm wondering if that has to do with the fact that she was able to relax herself and really enjoy what she was going through because of what it would result in.

virginiaham · July 2017

Hey @marmedello thanks for joining in the conversation. I'm really confused how your first pregnancy was a VBAC though?

marmedello · July 2017

Sorry I got confused about the terms. It wasn't a VBAC, but a vaginal birth. I wasn't sure of the abbreviation and used the wrong one.

virginiaham · July 2017

@marmedello ahhh ok I was racking my brain trying to figure out if I missed something. No worries!

afwoods10 · July 2017

virginiaham said:

alwaysadventure said:

Jassafishy hit the nail on the head. For me everything but laboring & the contractions faded into the background. I wasn't able to be concerned about anyone but what was happening with my body. I too am someone who never asks for help and am definitely the 40 week pregnant lady making sure everyone around me is comfortable & happy but trust me all that goes out the window when the contractions really start.

Hey ladies just wanted to come back and share what my midwife shared with me at my appointment last week. I was wondering about going natural without doing a Lamaze/Bradley/Birth Boot Camp...like how would a woman birth a baby without taking a class (real fleeting concerns virginiaham has)?? She encouraged me that women have done this without taking a class for centuries, but she highly recommended investing in a doula (eta) that we trust. Going back to what @jessafishy and @alwaysadventure were talking about, investing in a doula for that very reason. Because the doula is focused on helping you, and also helping your partner help you and also making sure he gets the breaks he needs as well.

I thought it was really helpful to hear and just wanted to pass that encouragement/insight on ❤

Just a heads up - The doulas we interviewed (and the one we hired) all required a childbirth class (Bradley, hypno, etc.). So you may want to check on that sooner rather than later since most of the classes are like 10-12 weeks.

virginiaham · July 2017

afwoods10 said:

virginiaham said:

alwaysadventure said:

Jassafishy hit the nail on the head. For me everything but laboring & the contractions faded into the background. I wasn't able to be concerned about anyone but what was happening with my body. I too am someone who never asks for help and am definitely the 40 week pregnant lady making sure everyone around me is comfortable & happy but trust me all that goes out the window when the contractions really start.

Hey ladies just wanted to come back and share what my midwife shared with me at my appointment last week. I was wondering about going natural without doing a Lamaze/Bradley/Birth Boot Camp...like how would a woman birth a baby without taking a class (real fleeting concerns virginiaham has)?? She encouraged me that women have done this without taking a class for centuries, but she highly recommended investing in a doula (eta) that we trust. Going back to what @jessafishy and @alwaysadventure were talking about, investing in a doula for that very reason. Because the doula is focused on helping you, and also helping your partner help you and also making sure he gets the breaks he needs as well.

I thought it was really helpful to hear and just wanted to pass that encouragement/insight on ❤

Just a heads up - The doulas we interviewed (and the one we hired) all required a childbirth class (Bradley, hypno, etc.). So you may want to check on that sooner rather than later since most of the classes are like 10-12 weeks.

This is really interesting and good to know. My gut reaction is, if my midwife isn't requiring a class I don't at all feel like a doula can require it and I would honestly just take my money elsewhere.

mylittleversailles · July 2017

Doulas book up instantly here so I've had mine since 14 weeks on the dot. We email occasionally just to keep communication open and hopefully establish a good rapport. She doesn't require anything of us, except that we make sure to call her before heading to the hospital!

Hypnobabies is going pretty well! DH and I do the meditations together before bed and they're helping me, lifelong insomniac that I am, sleep better. No idea how any of this will play out during my "birthing time" but I'm finding value in the process which is good enough.

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