@sjis Oh that's so disgusting!! This is why I need to think about this now, I want to be more prepared for when this shit actually happens so I can react how I want to!
I was at a wedding and this guy who's an aquaintince, at best, overheard me talking to my close friends about the babies. He butted into our conversation to congratulate me and was like "can I visit you in the hospital when they're born?" Like, totally serious. I laughed and said, no way dude, I don't want anyone to visit me. Then he asked to touch my belly. Weirdo. I was only like 9 weeks and not showing at all. I told him it was just Mac and cheese at this point and no. So strange.
LMAO at all the future bump touching reaction plans!
No bump, and thus no bump touching yet - but I do have a not-super-close-friend in my circle of friends who asks me questions and then responds to my stomach in baby talk.
For example: FRIEND: "We're you really sick in your first trimester?" ME: "A little, but not too bad!" FRIEND LEANS DOWN TO BELLY: "Ohhhh, good job little baby! Being such a good little baby in there!! Good job being so nice to your mama!"
@barrbaby-2 LOL, I feel bad because I was annoyed that my mom did that. I wasn't really showing at the time and I could literally feel her lips on stomach. I asked her to never do that again LOL. I don't care how big my belly gets, I don't need to feel your lips on it.
I got a belly rub the other day. I went to pick something up at the ice rink and one of the moms of a kid I used to teach came running up to me and screams "omg!!! I heard you're pregnant again! Let me feel!!"
That paragraph with the cheesecake was especially irritating. YOU'RE DOOMED. and why can't u perhaps be one of those moms who loses weight from breastfeeding? Come on. My friend just lost 30 pounds in 1 month from breastfeeding.
@ktcakes87 I'm interested to know in what context your friend even sent this article to u
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
@ktcakes87, unless that article came with a note that said "can you believe this bullshit?"...It was a jerk move. I only made it through half, it was such crap.
Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21
@nme44@AMCsquared@ameliabedelia-2 This girl had a VERY rough pregnancy. She's HATED being pregnant also. When she sent the link she said "this cracked me up, I wish I had read it a month ago". She's always trying to tell me the horrors of the third trimester, saying she's trying to prepare me because nobody did for her. On one hand I get it, we are very blunt and real with each other, but then again she's kinda being a dick. I don't think everything has to be such a misery, it's all on how you approach life in general! She is generally a pessimist and I am an optimist, which is why we see this article so differently.
Me 29 I Him 26 Married 4/22/16
TTC 9/2015 **TW** BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w) TTCAL 6/15/16 BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
@ktcakes87 The woman who wrote that article seems like she was never really a very pleasant person either before or after child birth. Also, I know the letter is to "her former self" but it's obviously meant for pregnant women in general, and assuming that her own personal experiences, assumptions, and judgments are true for everyone is just so obnoxious! I think especially since I ended up unexpectedly pregnant with twins, I'm ultra aware of the fact that my pregnancy experience may be entirely different from someone else's. If I'd been sent this article I would have been pretty annoyed.
@ktcakes87 That article is horrible! It would be perfect to preach abstinence to teenagers. Everyone's pregnancy is different. Pregnancy, childbirth and post-partum aren't all rainbows, puppies and skittle shitting unicorns, but it's neither a constant downpour, baby crocodiles and Godzilla with PMS. I'm all for being realistic, but this is downright scary (and meant to be so). She's not doing you any favours and she should stop implying that she is.
@ktcakes87 despite the harsh undertones of the article, I really do wish there was a book called "What The F- Do I Do With This Baby?" ...maybe that's just me?
So I didn't finish the article because I didn't relate to a single word. I thought it was dumb and I usually like Scary Mommy. But that does remind of something stupid everyone tells you. I heard and read when I was pregnant with DD "don't worry about pooping on the table because everyone does." I was never worried about it but I didn't poop in the end. And neither did my best friend. Not everyone poops, I mean they don't even let you eat in most places!
@ktcakes87 do you think she's showing signs of PPD? I ask because I had it and I felt the same way. I read that just now and thought, wow! That's not how it really was but I felt that way in those first few weeks.
Either way, she shouldn't of sent it. I couldn't even finish reading it. Motherhood is hard as f^** sometimes but she needs to chill.
I work with pretty much all men (40 men, 4 women) and in the first woman to ever get pregnant (or even be a mom) in our office. So at lunch the other day a table full of dudes kept asking questions AND gave me some silly advice based on their wives experiences. The best one was that I should get a manual breast pump... :scratches-head:...
@ashtynmo That is hilarious that a man was giving you breast pump advice. )) I am trying to think of what our equivalent of that could be (edit for clarity: women's advice to men about something so personal and anatomical) but my mind is going weird places...
I will chime in, though, that I had a super simple manual pump that I loved with my first. I liked it better than the electric in a lot of ways: it fit in my purse; was simple to wash; required barely any set up; extracted milk more efficiently and without danger of chaffing. Maybe his wife had a similar experience to me and he felt he had to spread the good news.
So this guy at work who is reeeally nice and softspoken (he's in his 40s I think and has grown daughters) was asking me how I'm feeling and all that. And then at one point I mentioned the daycare search is annoying and he goes, "Are you going to take some time to be with the baby?" I, assuming he figured I'd take leave, thought he meant past the 12 weeks and said that wouldn't work. He says, "Babies need their moms." I reeeeeeeeeally hope he just meant, "Are you taking maternity leave?" and my assumption was incorrect and not, "You're terrible for not staying home with your kid forever" (which we could never ever ever afford).
I'm not a fan of men chiming in with their wives' experiences. Part of it is I don't think most know how to use fertility and pregnancy "lingo", but also a lot of time if you would ask his partner about the same exact experience/anecdote/advice her perspective would be really different.
*tw* loss
The word "mansplain" has been horrifically overused lately, but an acquaintance once mansplained "the incredible and hormonal changes a woman goes through in pregnancy" to me (he and his wife had just announced at 10 weeks). Meanwhile I was actively miscarrying at that moment my pregnancy of 10 weeks; a pregnancy we hadn't announced yet so he had no idea. I just had to sit there and nod along, internally screaming. I'm still kinda livid when I think of that moment.
Me: 36 | DH 35, Married 2007
TTC #1 June 2015 April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal June 2016 - HSG clear *TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16 BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17 DS - 12/9/17 TTC #2 December 2018 BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19 DD - 11/1/19 My Chart
Re: Crappy unsolicited advice you've received
No bump, and thus no bump touching yet - but I do have a not-super-close-friend in my circle of friends who asks me questions and then responds to my stomach in baby talk.
For example:
FRIEND: "We're you really sick in your first trimester?"
ME: "A little, but not too bad!"
FRIEND LEANS DOWN TO BELLY: "Ohhhh, good job little baby! Being such a good little baby in there!! Good job being so nice to your mama!"
It's so weird.
https://www.scarymommy.com/a-letter-to-my-pregnant-child-less-self/
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
@ktcakes87 I'm interested to know in what context your friend even sent this article to u
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
Signed - your resident bump pessimist who would never send a friend that shit
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
Either way, she shouldn't of sent it. I couldn't even finish reading it. Motherhood is hard as f^** sometimes but she needs to chill.
That is hilarious that a man was giving you breast pump advice.
I will chime in, though, that I had a super simple manual pump that I loved with my first. I liked it better than the electric in a lot of ways: it fit in my purse; was simple to wash; required barely any set up; extracted milk more efficiently and without danger of chaffing. Maybe his wife had a similar experience to me and he felt he had to spread the good news.
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
*tw* loss
April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal
June 2016 - HSG clear
*TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16
BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17
DS - 12/9/17
TTC #2 December 2018
BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19
DD - 11/1/19
My Chart