I really want to breastfeed and have had a lot of anxiety about it especially since finding out I'll be having twins. Thankfully, my mom will be staying with us for the first week or two, which is supported in this article.
I agree with this, especially about the part where these cultures have learned how to breastfeed/viewed breastfeeding since childhood. If you are feeling anxiety now, I'd suggest seeking out a local breastfeeding group (through hospital, La Leche League, birth centers/midwives, etc.) and attending now, especially if you have not been around many breastfeeding friends and watched them nurse their babies. The moms that usually frequent in person support will be wholeheartedly happy to help a newly pregnant mama. They have been through the trials and challenges themselves and are usually happy to pass on any knowledge they have learned. Online groups and reading books are great too, but in person support and seeing how nursing moms really do it, is the best way to learn. Then you also have a built in group to join once your babies are here, too
@torresfamily5 Thanks for the suggestion on seeking out a local breastfeeding group. A woman I work with was actually just telling me yesterday about a group at our local hospital. It's not the hospital where our twins will be born, but I still want to see if I can join despite the fact that I won't be delivering there.
@leilagphillips - I'm in the same boat you are. I recently learned one local hospital has weekly breastfeeding support group. It's not the hospital I'm delivering at, but I'm really hoping to go! It's like a mile from my house (and my delivery hospital is like 25 minutes away). They also have aweekly support group for moms of kids less than 3 months to help answer those "wtf" questions or just get support from other people who are in the exact place you are, while you're going through it.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@ameliabedelia-2 can you tell me what it means to sticky something? I've seen the term a few times but I'm new to TB and forums in general and don't really know what I'm doing!
That article is terrific! I only have one friend with a kid (despite the fact that neither of us are young!), and she gave birth exactly 6 months before me. When her daughter was 5 weeks old, I went with her to a breastfeeding support group. She also showed me how she pumped. Getting to see everything firsthand, especially *before* giving birth, which I think is crucial, was invaluable. It would be so much more difficult to struggle and try to learn in the moment while also exhausted/recovering/extra-hormonal. For those who have Facebook, I highly recommend finding the Badass Breastfeeders group for your state. It's a wonderful online resource and most states have their own group. I'm 18 months into nursing my toddler, who has still yet to have any milk that doesn't come from me (and at this rate, may make it to college with that distinction), so I'm also happy to answer any questions!
@angetralala Thanks for the heads-up about the Facebook groups! I never had any anxiety or second thoughts about breastfeeding until I had a nightmare about a week ago that I couldn't do it because the pain in my nipples was unbearable! (I still get uncomfortable thinking about that dream, it was SO vivid.) Now when I think about BF I get so anxious... I still plan to try, but I feel like I'm going to be overwhelmed at how difficult it is to start. I think talking to moms who've just gone through a similar experience would be a huge comfort.
@djd0404 when the latch is good, most of your pain will be superficial (just on the skin itself from friction in the beginning). You'll be amazed at how quickly you can tell the difference. I will say that for the first 5 or 6 months, every single time I had a letdown it felt like I was getting stabbed in the nipple with a few needles. It was something I got used to, and it wasn't enough to make me cry or anything, but that is pretty rare.
@djd0404 Just a word of encouragement--I did not have much pain at all breastfeeding as long as DD was latched right. Lanolin was good in the beginning, but eventually I didn't even need that. If your hospital has lactation consultants on staff you can get a consultation before you leave, which is helpful. A breastfeeding class and the la Leche League's book are also good resources. I do have to say, though, that some women do have trouble (I have friends with IGT, for example, which is rare, but means they don't lactate other than producing some colustrum), and that your mental and physical health is also important. Breastfeeding is great, but it is not the only way, and you will find what works for you, whether it is over a year of relatively easy BF'ing, using nipple shields and pumping, combining BF'ing and supplementing with formula, or formula all the way. As long as baby is fed and you are doing well, you are a rock star mama.
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@leilagphillips I get the nervousness of BF twins but it is totally doable. I was not a super producer and had to supplement initially but we were able to exclusively BF for quite a while. We even nursed till they were 21 months when I had to stop due to fertility treatments. Finding an LC (lactation consultant) is so important. I went at least twice a week for several weeks because the twins had some challenges when it came to nursing but it was so worth all of it. I would also recommend looking into a hospital grade pump. Hugs and any time you have questions about BF twins just message me! you can do this! (and as a note if for some reason BF does not work out fed is what matters)
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
I have to echo what @angetralala said about learning as much as you can beforehand. I *thought* I did that with DS. I was mentally prepared for the expected initial challenges of establishing breastfeeding. But then DS was born a month early. That night they transported him to a NICU an hour away. In all the chaos of everything, nursing/pumping didn't even come up until a nurse wheeled in a pump the next morning (!) and basically said go for it. I had no idea what I was doing. Over the next week, between traveling back and forth to the hospital before getting set up at the RMH next door, I finally was shown how to use the pump at that hospital. But the one at the RMH that I could use had to be back each night by 10pm. I quickly ordered one for my own use (wasn't sure about logistics renting one at the hospital an hour away with all our traveling), and in the midst of all this, learned I had flat nipples (didn't even know that was a thing) which complicated things further.
It was just a bombardment of things that I think ultimately lead to my only nursing/pumping for 3 months. I had tremendous guilt over it. I feel much more prepared now, but definitely learn as much as you can beforehand just in case you hit unexpected bumps in the road.
@angetralala@cait5413 Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! I'm sure whatever is meant to be will be, as long as baby is happy and healthy, that's all that matters. I just tend to let my anxiety get the best of me sometimes. I really appreciate the support!
One huge lesson I learned with my son is that LC's at my local hospital weren't as helpful as a private LC or post-birth doula... 3 different LC's at my hospital said that my son did not have a tongue tie (just a lazy latch) and that I just had to "tough out" the pain of breastfeeding. Significant tongue tie or lip tie can cause painful, raw, red nipples and excruciating pain for the mother while BFing AND at the same time baby isn't getting much milk. This is NOT normal and not how breastfeeding should be.
I kept reading articles and googling my symptoms and got another opinion from a private LC and and not only did my son have a significant tongue tie that affected breastfeeding, she also noticed that he had torticollis (his neck muscles were tight and kept him from turning his head one way). She refferred me to specialists for each to get an actual diagnosis and after a surgery for the tongue tie and lots of PT for the tongue and neck, breastfeeding was SO much easier and not painful. My supply still struggled because it had been 5 months of trying to pump and feed with a poor latch, but it was worth it to me that we figured out the root of the problem and that neither of us were just bad at breastfeeding!
My only frustration is that it took a long time to get the answer because the nurses/LC's at the hospital dismissed my sons and my symptoms and just kept telling us to push through it. It wouldn't have gotten better if I hadn't advocated for our situation and sought outside help. So, my advice is trust your gut, seek outside help if something seems unhelpful, and like others have said, keep reading as much info as you can. A good source on what to look for with tongue ties is Dr. Bobby Ghaheri. His blog and advocacy for breastfeeding moms and babies is amazing! https://www.drghaheri.com/
Love the article! I attribute all of my BFing success to my midwife! She was such an amazing support and even when I thought I had an okay latch she'd override me and say nope that's not good enough and fix it and made it so much better. We'd still be BFing now at 17 months if this pregnancy hadn't dried me up.
@whiska That was really interesting! I loved the graphics that helped to clearly break down what was being described. For a few reasons I'm hoping that my doctor will allow me to schedule a c-section delivery of our twins, so if that happens I'll have to see if it's scheduled around 8 am on a Monday or Tuesday!
I heard at some point (and who knows if there is any science behind it) that there are more c-sections in December than in any other month. I'll be interested to see how our group's c-section rate compares with other months.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
@GraysonsMama My cousin told me the other day that there's some program through Babies'R'Us that will help you to work with your insurance company to get the free pump and basically will do the paperwork and stuff for you. I'm not really sure how complicated it actually is, but if you're at BrU anyway to set up a registry or something it might be worth asking about.
@leilagphillips Working with mine wasn't difficult at all. They had three options to pick from and then I had to call the supplier. I do advise doing it before you deliver of you can though because it took a little while to ship (about a week) and I needed it right away. I have also heard that some insurers have you get a prescription for one from your ob and then you "fill" it (purchase) through a pharmacy.
We are having our 4th and last baby, and it's our first boy. I am against circumcision and call it for what it is, genital mutilation. I understand and respect that there are certain religions that perform this as a sacred ritual. But I am not part of one of those religions. Anyway, DH was circumcised as a baby and in the past few years he has expressed wanting the same for his son. I'm really trying to get him to understand that for us, not being religious, it is completely pointless and will cause unnecessary pain to our baby. He is open minded and isn't firm on this. If anyone else finds any articles related to this topic, please share I'd greatly appreciate it.
@easybreezy225 I don't have any articles at hand but I can tell you we didn't circumcise my son. My husband wasn't invested in the circumcision so it wasn't a big deal. But really @ 1 week when we had just moved house with a, very healthy, 35 seeker and were struggling with breastfeeding I was So glad I didn't have to worry about an open wound in dirty diapers. Also there is nothing to 'care' for. At 5.5 yo he has never had any kind of infection and keeps it plenty clean. (Ah bath time play) You may want to also point out that institutions like the UK's NHS no longer cover the procedure because it has little medical/health benefit. And no he isn't bothered that he doesn't look like daddy. Though he does find pubic hair rather perplexing.
Basically they both say it's about a 50/50 split on benefits vs risks. This, combined with my professional experience as an emergency/pediatric RN I agreed when DH wanted to get it done. I have witnessed first hand the potential complications (listed in those statements) of retained foreskin and in my opinion it is not worth the risk.
As the child gets older the procedure becomes more and more complex, plus the increased risk of a UTI as a neonate is so much more than it sounds like. Any baby under 30 days with any sort of infection requires a full septic workup. Meaning IV, blood work, catheter and lumbar puncture. Again, not worth the risk.
Caring for it after the fact, while it had its difficult moments, was overall not a big deal. The hardest part was keeping his little legs from kicking it during diaper changes!
@Tennis11785 i'm not sure what side of the city you're on, but shady grove adventist has an excellent breastfeeding and new mom support group, and you don't have to deliver there to join. i'd imagine the counterpart in takoma park also has a group but don't quote me on that.
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
I also don't have any articles on hand but we didn't circumcise our son. My husband isn't circumcised. He didn't have any problems with infections or bullying or anything. D's is 3 and he hasn't had any problems yet either. If you choose not to circumcise make sure you explain it to whoever is watching your child because you don't pull back the foreskin to clean it and some people don't know that. Though it is becoming more common not to circumcise.
@GraysonsMama Thanks for that reminder!!! I checked it out and my insurance gives us one free!! They have 11 options and I have no idea which to choose (they don't let us order until 3rd tri anyway), but H is going to be so so happy we can skip this expense
Me: 36 | DH 35, Married 2007
TTC #1 June 2015 April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal June 2016 - HSG clear *TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16 BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17 DS - 12/9/17 TTC #2 December 2018 BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19 DD - 11/1/19 My Chart
I have very mixed feelings about circumcision. Since I'm Jewish and plan to raise my children as Jews, it's expected (by my family) that we will circumcise if we have a boy/boys. I also don't want any sons I have to feel like they're less connected to their faith if we don't circumcise. At the same time, the scientific evidence is so mixed and heavily biased one way or the other that it's extremely difficult to make an educated, informed decision. I think in all likelihood, I will end up having him/them circumcised, but it's not going to be a joyous occasion for me.
@GraysonsMama I thought all insurance had to cover the pump, but I might be wrong. Def good advice - everyone should check.
Under Obamacare, they do, but certain employer plans are grandfathered in and do not have to cover it. I found that out b/c my husband's insurance does not, so I didn't have coverage for one when DD was born (luckily, a friend gave me her barely-used one!)
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@eazybreezy225 Thanks for sharing that article! We are having a boy and I do not want him circumcize, but in one initial conversation with my husband (before we knew the gender) he said he did. However, he's not read anything at all about it or put any real thought into it, it's more he wants it done because he is. I also didn't do a great job bringing it up and made him shut down a little. Now that we know it's a boy, I'm figuring out the best time/way to bring it up again with him in a way that focuses more on facts and is an open conversation, which is tricky with such a sensitive topic. Let me know if you have any strategy suggestions!
I posted this on WTE but thought I'd share the condensed version here.
Be aware that, although rare, there are unforeseen conditions your son could be born with that might make a circ medically necessary even if you weren't planning on having it done. A friend of mine's son had some sort of minor foreskin webbing and the circumcision was recommended but (a) unable to be done at the hospital and (b) still highly recommended by the peds urologist they sought a second opinion from who ultimately did the procedure. I don't remember exact details but basically if the foreskin was not removed, once the kid hit puberty, things would not go well and be incredibly painful. Don't be afraid to ask your neonatologist/pediatrician to check for any genital abnormalities.
FWIW, I used to work in a hospital in the same nursery where the circumcisions were performed. There was maybe a minute of crying for most babies, followed quickly by Tylenol and snuggles and nap. I never saw a child who wasn't quickly consoled afterwards. They also didn't do the procedure in front of the parents so there isn't that traumatizing "what have I done to my baby???!!" moment. Even the "baby-friendly" (where the kid never leaves mom's room) hospitals still usually take the child away to a different area for that. All that to say that if concerns about the pain and/or trauma are your ONLY hesitation, there isn't much to be concerned about.
If not performed at the hospital, it may have to be done by a urologist and possibly even under sedation (depending upon child's age) so I would encourage everyone to be certain of their decision by delivery if possible only because the risk to baby as well as the cost to you will increase if you wait until later and change your mind.
I told DH I'd let him decide this one. I'm not mentally invested though because I'm convinced we're having a girl
@elcd458 I am also letting DH decide. I think there are pros and cons either way; I might lean slightly more towards doing it, but I'm ok with not doing it as well. It is becoming much more common that people opt out.
ETA: we don't even know if we are having a boy, but I am thinking that we are. (DH thinks it's another girl)
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
Re: Articles of Interest
I'll get us started with this one I read yesterday on NPR: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/06/26/534021439/secrets-of-breast-feeding-from-global-moms-in-the-know
I really want to breastfeed and have had a lot of anxiety about it especially since finding out I'll be having twins. Thankfully, my mom will be staying with us for the first week or two, which is supported in this article.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
For those who have Facebook, I highly recommend finding the Badass Breastfeeders group for your state. It's a wonderful online resource and most states have their own group. I'm 18 months into nursing my toddler, who has still yet to have any milk that doesn't come from me (and at this rate, may make it to college with that distinction), so I'm also happy to answer any questions!
Edited for clarity, because words are hard today.
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
It was just a bombardment of things that I think ultimately lead to my only nursing/pumping for 3 months. I had tremendous guilt over it. I feel much more prepared now, but definitely learn as much as you can beforehand just in case you hit unexpected bumps in the road.
Me: 36 DH: 41
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
I kept reading articles and googling my symptoms and got another opinion from a private LC and and not only did my son have a significant tongue tie that affected breastfeeding, she also noticed that he had torticollis (his neck muscles were tight and kept him from turning his head one way). She refferred me to specialists for each to get an actual diagnosis and after a surgery for the tongue tie and lots of PT for the tongue and neck, breastfeeding was SO much easier and not painful. My supply still struggled because it had been 5 months of trying to pump and feed with a poor latch, but it was worth it to me that we figured out the root of the problem and that neither of us were just bad at breastfeeding!
My only frustration is that it took a long time to get the answer because the nurses/LC's at the hospital dismissed my sons and my symptoms and just kept telling us to push through it. It wouldn't have gotten better if I hadn't advocated for our situation and sought outside help. So, my advice is trust your gut, seek outside help if something seems unhelpful, and like others have said, keep reading as much info as you can. A good source on what to look for with tongue ties is Dr. Bobby Ghaheri. His blog and advocacy for breastfeeding moms and babies is amazing! https://www.drghaheri.com/
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/why-are-so-many-babies-born-around-8-00-a-m/
Answer: Scheduled c-sections!
April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal
June 2016 - HSG clear
*TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16
BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17
DS - 12/9/17
TTC #2 December 2018
BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19
DD - 11/1/19
My Chart
I heard at some point (and who knows if there is any science behind it) that there are more c-sections in December than in any other month. I'll be interested to see how our group's c-section rate compares with other months.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9743242
We are having our 4th and last baby, and it's our first boy. I am against circumcision and call it for what it is, genital mutilation. I understand and respect that there are certain religions that perform this as a sacred ritual. But I am not part of one of those religions.
Anyway, DH was circumcised as a baby and in the past few years he has expressed wanting the same for his son. I'm really trying to get him to understand that for us, not being religious, it is completely pointless and will cause unnecessary pain to our baby. He is open minded and isn't firm on this. If anyone else finds any articles related to this topic, please share I'd greatly appreciate it.
Here is the AAP statement on it:
https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/130/3/585.full
As well as the Canadian Academy of Pediatrics statement:
https://www.cps.ca/documents/position/circumcision
Basically they both say it's about a 50/50 split on benefits vs risks. This, combined with my professional experience as an emergency/pediatric RN I agreed when DH wanted to get it done. I have witnessed first hand the potential complications (listed in those statements) of retained foreskin and in my opinion it is not worth the risk.
As the child gets older the procedure becomes more and more complex, plus the increased risk of a UTI as a neonate is so much more than it sounds like. Any baby under 30 days with any sort of infection requires a full septic workup. Meaning IV, blood work, catheter and lumbar puncture. Again, not worth the risk.
Caring for it after the fact, while it had its difficult moments, was overall not a big deal. The hardest part was keeping his little legs from kicking it during diaper changes!
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal
June 2016 - HSG clear
*TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16
BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17
DS - 12/9/17
TTC #2 December 2018
BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19
DD - 11/1/19
My Chart
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
Be aware that, although rare, there are unforeseen conditions your son could be born with that might make a circ medically necessary even if you weren't planning on having it done. A friend of mine's son had some sort of minor foreskin webbing and the circumcision was recommended but (a) unable to be done at the hospital and (b) still highly recommended by the peds urologist they sought a second opinion from who ultimately did the procedure. I don't remember exact details but basically if the foreskin was not removed, once the kid hit puberty, things would not go well and be incredibly painful. Don't be afraid to ask your neonatologist/pediatrician to check for any genital abnormalities.
FWIW, I used to work in a hospital in the same nursery where the circumcisions were performed. There was maybe a minute of crying for most babies, followed quickly by Tylenol and snuggles and nap. I never saw a child who wasn't quickly consoled afterwards. They also didn't do the procedure in front of the parents so there isn't that traumatizing "what have I done to my baby???!!" moment. Even the "baby-friendly" (where the kid never leaves mom's room) hospitals still usually take the child away to a different area for that. All that to say that if concerns about the pain and/or trauma are your ONLY hesitation, there isn't much to be concerned about.
If not performed at the hospital, it may have to be done by a urologist and possibly even under sedation (depending upon child's age) so I would encourage everyone to be certain of their decision by delivery if possible only because the risk to baby as well as the cost to you will increase if you wait until later and change your mind.
I told DH I'd let him decide this one. I'm not mentally invested though because I'm convinced we're having a girl
ETA: we don't even know if we are having a boy, but I am thinking that we are. (DH thinks it's another girl)
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016