February 2018 Moms

UO Thursday 6/22

unpopular opinion Thursday! 
*TW* Spoiler
Me: 33 DH:30
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months 
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



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Re: UO Thursday 6/22

  • I don't really like Starbucks. I don't get what the big deal is. I will have a pumpkin spice latte in the fall. But other than that, meh. 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



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  • @meatball37 you have hurt my heart. I don't drink coffee though but I love chai. And their salads. And..um...the chocolate chip muffin. 
  • @meatball37 I have become OBSESSED with Starbucks since getting KU, mostly because its a chain and they have the caffeine in mgs on their website which I feel like I can trust more. And they will honor whatever crazy pregnant request I have.

    My UO is I can't understand why everyone thinks its ok to have Native American themed things for babies. Like baby headdresses and teepee print everything and "raising my tribe" shirts. Just so disrespectful. Sorry.  
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @meatball37  I'm with you.  I don't get the Starbucks thing at all.  I'll have a latte once in a while when I'm traveling, but other coffee shops have much better coffee and generally I prefer to keep my $4 and make my coffee at home.  I've never had a pumpkin spice latte, never had a Frappucino, (not really sure what it is anyway).

    My unpopular opinion is that I don't get the point of gender reveal parties.  I don't have a problem with making it a fun event for the parents with a cake or something like that, but it seems excessive to have a big party for a big group of people to find out the gender.
    DS 2.07.15
    #2 due 2.15.18
  • @MrsJ2410 well then you would hate my DD's nursery. It's filled with fox and teepee print stuff. I look at it this way, whether I decorate with igloos, shamrocks, or rainbow hearts. Everything has to come from a source. I personally think the prints are adorable. Native Americans aren't the only ones who use teepees. I also think it depends on how one presents things that makes something disrespectful or not. 

    @smorzandoj I wish I liked tea. :( 

    @sabriel1 I never posted my ultrasound on my last BMB or Facebook. Mostly because for me personally I thought it was weird to basically say "hey everyone, look inside my uterus!" 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



  • I personally enjoy gender reveals. Whether it's close family, friends, or just acquaintances, I am always excited to find out. I did mine at my shower, but I don't think I would ever have a separate, huge party just for that. If I do it again it will just be a little get together with immediate family. 

    I have never understood why so many people think 2nd+ showers are "tacky." Unless you are literally throwing yourself a party. Most people around here have "sprinkles."

    I thought of an OU yesterday and was waiting for today to use it and it has completely escaped me. *Face palm*
  • awb1216 said:
    My unpopular opinion is that I don't get the point of gender reveal parties.  I don't have a problem with making it a fun event for the parents with a cake or something like that, but it seems excessive to have a big party for a big group of people to find out the gender.
    Yup. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sex reveal parties: When the baby shower just isn't enough attention. I also take the philosophy that no one thinks your kid is as cute/special/important as you do. If you want to have one, more power to you, but I'll politely decline the invite.
    Couldn't agree more. 

    And it's a sex reveal. It isn't a gender reveal. And if you can't use the correct term that you aren't grown up enough to be having the damn party.
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Agreed on sex reveal, Native American themed nurseries, and Starbucks...

    I can't think of a UO today.
  • @meatball37 you have hurt my heart. I don't drink coffee though but I love chai. And their salads. And..um...the chocolate chip muffin. 
    I love Starbucks chai lattes too. Although I did have to go from a venti to a grande.:)
  • Chawk17Chawk17 member
    edited June 2017
    MrsJ2410 said:
    @meatball37 I have become OBSESSED with Starbucks since getting KU, mostly because its a chain and they have the caffeine in mgs on their website which I feel like I can trust more. And they will honor whatever crazy pregnant request I have.

    My UO is I can't understand why everyone thinks its ok to have Native American themed things for babies. Like baby headdresses and teepee print everything and "raising my tribe" shirts. Just so disrespectful. Sorry.  
    2 things to comment. What are you getting at Starbucks? I get chai lattes but don't know what else I can get while pregnant...so I'm after advice.

    And 2nd is it bad that I've intentionally picked out spiritual names. Hawk and Fox. I don't want to be disrespectful. But I love the native spiritual names. I'm not doing teepees or anything though. I'm with you on that. 
  • @Chawk17 I get a decaf iced coffee with two pumps of chai, its like a dirty chair but cheaper, and there is a little caffeine from the chai syrup but not too much because only two pumps! Or I get a Strawberry refresher with lemonade because the lemonade waters it down a bit and the refresher's don't have a lot of caffeine to begin with and they weirdly help me with my morning sickness ( tart fruity things seem to help me). 

    I wouldn't assume those names were picked to be Native American, just different and nature based. I am not the be all end all expert on this, and I am more referring to when like smiling super blonde mommy bloggers dress their blue eyed, blond babies in headdresses because its "boho". I just think the line between "boho" and cultural appropriation has become a little blurred...
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • DD is blonde haired blue eyed and part Native American. I think assuming children that have lighter features can't be part of Native American culture is ignorant. 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



  • I love coffee! All the coffee! I miss the caffeine terribly. Although,  I do agree that there are much better place to get your coffee then Starbucks. 

     Second baby showers don't bother me… If I don't want to come I just decline. But I do see how it can be gift grabby. 

    I always  invited to the family out to a restaurant and had a cute way to announce the sex there. With DS it was around easter so  we gave everyone an Easter egg, and they opened it to find the blue candy. With DD we brought pink filled cupcakes. It was fun and not all about the baby. We will do something similar again. 

    My UO is that I so dislike watermelon. Yuck. It's like textured water!  It's annoying this time of year, because it's everywhere. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • MrsJ2410 said:
    @meatball37 I have become OBSESSED with Starbucks since getting KU, mostly because its a chain and they have the caffeine in mgs on their website which I feel like I can trust more. And they will honor whatever crazy pregnant request I have.

    My UO is I can't understand why everyone thinks its ok to have Native American themed things for babies. Like baby headdresses and teepee print everything and "raising my tribe" shirts. Just so disrespectful. Sorry.  
    YES. As a full status First Nations woman with a full status DH and DD I completely agree with this. It just looks weird and out of place to me. My friend once said she was going to make an apartment building print and see if it would sell the same as all the teepee stuff, lol. I like this article 

    https://www.scarymommy.com/cultural-appropriation-versus-appreciation/?utm_source=FB
    DD - 4.15.16
  • I guess my unpopular opinion is that I can't stand 2nd showers.  I live in a small town, though, where everyone knows everyone and showers/sprinkles/diaper parties are a huge deal.  At the school I work in, things have gotten out of control--showers, sprinkles, showers for 2nd marriages, etc.   In a 3 year time span, though, we have had a baby shower, a wedding shower, and a "sprinkle", for the same girl.  That's a lot.  I do understand there are times a second shower is completely appropriate, in which I gladly participate :) 
  • I can't stand watching team sports. The sounds of football on the TV revolts me. Im secretly hoping my DD and future child have zero interest in sports because becoming a soccer mom and driving from practice to practice is my worst nightmare. Gymnastics, karate, swim team is OK. Soccer, football, hockey not OK.
  • clc515clc515 member
    I dont enjoy that after we got married last year, everyone asks about kids. We used to talk about things besides that right?  And yes we want kids, and we will announce around 12 weeks, but Im cringing at the thought that kids are all people will ask about for now on. 

    P.S. totally agree about big ass gender reveal parties (i think a family dinner is cute), and i do think 2nd and 3rd showers are just fine. 
  • Ok, I had a patient today tell me that her husband gave her this beautiful engraved necklace as an early "push present".  I've never heard of this before...so she proceeded to tell me that it was a present that the birth partner gives to the mom for "pushing the baby out"!!  UMMMMMMM.....WHAAAAT?! Apparently this is a thing...something I think is completely ridiculous and puts a lot of pressure on the birth partner.  Shouldn't the baby be the push present lol?
  • Ok, I had a patient today tell me that her husband gave her this beautiful engraved necklace as an early "push present".  I've never heard of this before...so she proceeded to tell me that it was a present that the birth partner gives to the mom for "pushing the baby out"!!  UMMMMMMM.....WHAAAAT?! Apparently this is a thing...something I think is completely ridiculous and puts a lot of pressure on the birth partner.  Shouldn't the baby be the push present lol?
    I think husbands/partners have probably been giving their wives a gift after the birth throughout history (if they wanted to), but it only recently was given a name and became a "thing" that you just "have to" do. 
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • Ha! I love you ladies. 

    My unpopular opinion is that I get really irked when I receive 1 year, 2 year, etc... birthday invited with a registry. 

    I can see the one year thing, but by 2 years, it starts to irk me. 

    However, I'm amazed at people's generosity. For my son's first birthday party, we wrote some version of "your presence is our present" and people poured out so many gifts. I cried. Couldn't believe it!
  • I'm all about the push presents! DH got me DDs birthstone in a set of earrings. I deserved it. Her delivery was god awful. 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



  • I'm with @eggplantface in that birth partners have probably been giving gifts forever. But yea, calling it a push present just sounds stupid. 
    But maybe I'm bitter because my H has never given me one?  :D
  • ashhsaashhsa member
    Okay- I've got one- that I myself might regret saying in a few weeks- 

    I am looking forward to morning sickness! 
    Now hear me out- im only 4 weeks and 4 days- and have had none yet- I had it in my last pregnancy- but obviously it wasentt so bad for me. And I found it reassuring that everything was progressing as it should. I hope I don't get it worse than last time though, and if I do I'll regret ever saying this at all. 
  • I think the term "push present" is stupid. I don't think I would have ever heard it in a million years in real life or in my circle, I only ever heard it here. With that said, I would love to receive one, but I don't think anything should be "expected." I would feel like a total brat if I was mad about not getting one. DH was so supportive before, during, and after birth that he didn't really need to spend money on anything IMO. 
  • I have 5 little boys.... had a shower for the first.... shower for 2 and 3 since they were twins.... a friend party with 5 friends for the 4th.... and nothing for the 5th.... we had an 11 week loss between the 4th and 5th and I feel like I definitely wanted something to celebrate him.... afterall it is a miracle anyone has a baby...
    From now on.... I support people having more than that original shower.... every baby deserves a celebration . ...

    That said... there's a girl in my town who had 7 .... SEVEN.... huge showers for her little girl... OVERKILL
  • @Chawk17 Same! :smile:
    TTC #1 - December 2015
    Me:31 H:31
    DX: MFI - 1% Morph 
    12/16 -IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol w/ Lupron trigger
    ER - 11 retrieved- 9 mature - 7 fertilized - 3 sent for PGS on day 5 - No normals (1 XXX Embryo - may use in future)
    3/17 - IVF #2 - Antagonist Protocol w/ HCG trigger
    ER- 13 retrieved - 11 mature - 8 fertilized - 2 sent for PGS on day 5 -2 Normal
    FET #1 - 5/16/17 - BFP! - Beta #1 5/25 - 156 - Beta #2 5/30 - 2562 - Beta #3 6/1 - 5191!




  • Ok...hearing your different sides on push presents has definitely helped me understand a little better.  Just the way this lady talked about it seemed outlandish to me.  But I can see how a sentiment related to the baby or relationship can be really cherished by an expectant mama.  Let's just not call is a push present! Please! 
  • @mamajenna_cnm haha ok won't call it a push present. I agree thats the baby :) 
  • clc515 said:
    I dont enjoy that after we got married last year, everyone asks about kids. We used to talk about things besides that right?  And yes we want kids, and we will announce around 12 weeks, but Im cringing at the thought that kids are all people will ask about for now on. 

    P.S. totally agree about big ass gender reveal parties (i think a family dinner is cute), and i do think 2nd and 3rd showers are just fine. 
    Yes!!!  We got married last July and all I've heard since then is when are you having a baby?  You know you're 35 right??  People literally said this at our reception.
  • On the gifts after the baby's birth (avoiding the term lol), I think it's not a bad thing but it shouldn't be mandatory.  I'm getting a new car next month bc my convertible is not baby friendly and we've now decided to build a house next year so I'm just gonna say that's my gift.  
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