Okay I need to just get this off my chest. My friend had a baby girl last year and her best friend went out and bought her baby a Pandora bracelet (one of the leather ones) and when she posted a photo of that tiny little fist with a pink Pandora bracelet wrapped around that chunky little baby wrist my ovaries exploded. Ever since that day I look longingly at the Pandora store just waiting to have a daughter that I can buy one for. Now I know I'm having a boy. And yes trousers and over alls and old man hats all that jazz, little vests very cute I know. BUT this ridiculous, irrational, stupid part of me cannot get over the fact that my child will never have a little Pandora bracelet, and it kind of breaks my heart. I know it's stupid and ND I know Pandora bracelets themselves are kind of ridiculous and I know my baby would in reality never wear it. But I want it and I'm emotional about it. So I'm gonna tell you guys because you won't judge me. That is all.
Btw obviously its totally ok to feel how you do and just feel that way with no fix
But , Why not get him something custom made and masculine . With the same sentiment as you would a daughter . This is one I had made for my hubby for his 30th birthday gift . He liked the concept of the Pandora leather bracelets but they don't offer a masculine option and always looks for a cuff or something with no luck so I went to our jeweller
Love @foxaírt idea for @bcashaw! Or what about a leather cuff or some kind of piece with his name or initials? The great thing about boys is that (usually) have the same initials for life!
@foxairt that's a great idea and initials is great too @08-16-08jms it's so ridiculous for me to get so upset over something straight up materialistic like that.
@bcashaw totally not ridiculous. DH accuses me of being too materialistic, which I probably am, but I'm in denial. For example: birthstones. DS is october, which makes his pink or an opal. Fine. Let's go with opal. DD is september, which makes hers sapphire (dark blue). This LO is November (obviously lol).... orange... barf. I have some pretty sapphire and opal earring now as "mothers jewelry". I can't imagine creating something beautiful by adding orange to the mix.
If we do a push present kind of thing, I want stackable rings with the bands being each child's birthstone that I can wear on my right ring finger. I think all the colors will look nice together! And true, there is always topaz.
@bcashaw I love the sentimental gifts! My old boss got an Hermes bracelet which was obviously very nice but for me, I'd want something sentimental that I could wear and look at when I can't be with the baby. Otherwise I don't think I'd want a push present.
Now that we're done having kids (well, after this one is born), I want to get a necklace with each kid's first initial and birthstone on a charm. I've been eying Heather Moore Jewelry for a long, long time.
So I just found out we're having a boy. I was not as excited as I had hoped to be when my husband did the reveal, though I pulled a good game face. I was trying to figure out why I was struggling with this, because before we got pregnant with our daughter we always talked about how fun it would be to have all boys. Of course after she was born I kind of decided I wanted all girls.
My husband is such a good girl dad. I guess I'm just kind of worried how he will be with a boy. Our daughter is allowed to love playing dress up and playing in the mud. She can wear pink tutus or she can rock a sporty jersey. I don't feel like the same gesture will be extended towards our son. My husband is very traditional about male roles (less so with female), and I'm just kind of worried about what that will look like in our combined parenting efforts.
@foxairt that's a great idea and initials is great too @08-16-08jms it's so ridiculous for me to get so upset over something straight up materialistic like that.
not at all ridiculous. it isn't about the materialistic thing anyway it represented for you in your mind clearly the relationship you imagined and that being changed or taken from you is impacting - it means nothing to how you feel about your little boy or anything like that . its just a feeling and a moment and its totally acceptable .
its also in the light of a new day re-creatable which is why i suggested the boy cuff or bracelet . its ok for those little tokens to matter and they'll matter more when its it tangible rather than imagined
please don't feel ridiculous , your totally valid
another note - Topaz can come in lovely colours even brown topaz , if you can find a glassy pale piece it can mimic notes of champaign or citron and orange can complement opals and blue stones in a lovely way
(cough- my entire body jewellery collection is a mix of silver/white gold and rose gold settings adorned with light blue opal , my hair is vibrant foxy copper to ginger orange , (henna) )
08-16-08jms if you go with blue topaz you have 3 different shades of blue , if you go with fire opal you'll have a blue stone a blue and red stone and an orange stone . also sapphire come in all different colours and topaz comes in lots of shades of amber as well as an aquamarine like blue ,
@ooodalollly DH is very much a "guys guy" everything is about sports and more traditional "man stuff" but he's surprisingly very relaxed about some things DS does. All his little friends are girls so he watches more girl oriented shows, likes to dress up, etc and DH has just kind of adjusted. He still very much likes stereotypical boy things like dinosaurs, trucks, and rough housing but DH just rolls with whatever. Hope yours can adjust the same!
Altbough to be fair we did hit a stumbling block with a conversation about getting him a doll to adjust to having a baby. He was dead set against it until I told him to give me reasons other than that only girls play with dolls. I won that round.
btw birthstones : these are all Topaz colours - i think the middle triangle cut looks like a garnet (my birthstone) i also don't hate the peach tones it comes in 08-16-08jms look at milk opals with Blue topaz too - and even yellow and green party sapphires to pick up the pastel blue green and honey the white opal give
I wouldn't say I'm disappointed I'm having a boy because I always pictured our kids with a big brother but I'm sad I'm not having a girl. It makes me feel silly because we want more so there is still plenty of time if God blesses us with more children. I think I wanted both so much that I would have been a little sad about "missing out" on the other gender regardless of what we were having. I feel ridiculous!
@ooodalollly My DH is very much what you describe yours as and we've had some issues with it. DS just wants to do what DD does, which means he wants to play dress up with her, play with her dolls, brush his hair, etc. DH disliked it when he thought I was pushing DS to put on a princess dress, etc., but once he saw that DS specifically asked to get dressed up or whatnot, he got over it. He still doesn't love it, but he looks past it now. The only thing he still gets pissy about is if I put DS' hair in a hair tie.
@kissthesky32 I'm trying to prepare him for some of that ahead of time. Our daughter loves wearing jewelry and playing with baby dolls, so I'm sure our son will be involved in that and get makeovers all the time. I mentioned this to my husband and he was less than pleased at the idea. His whole family is very conservative, so these ridiculous notions where children of a certain gender aren't supposed to like certain toys have been drilled into his head his whole life. I'm really hoping we can overcome that.
DS has a doll named Charlie that he loves. My husband was a little weird when the doll first came home but now he thinks it's adorable when Henry picks it up and kisses it and pats it's little booty. DS promptly follows it up by throwing the doll though so we've still got some work to do before sister gets here
In my family it's normal for every child, boy or girl, to receive a bracelet (usually gold) and a gold Buddha necklace (the pendant can be jade or gold). I'm sure it has something to do with some Vietnamese tradition that I never was aware of the reasons for, but perhaps it's a viable choice for you to do something similarly personal for your son @bcashaw ?
I like topaz and totally forgot it's the November birthstone. I'm a May baby (emerald) so I personally think that with Honeybear's birthstone (diamond) it would make a great combination!
25 - FTM - BF Mom - Using CDs - Blogger and Soap Merchant Married for two years to my Honeybear and expecting a little Honeybee on our homestead in Belgium.
When I found out DS1 was a boy I was slightly disappointed. I really wanted a girl but knew I wanted at least one more child so the thought of my second child having a big brother grew on me. DS1's dad and I did not workout so I wasn't sure if I'd ever settle down to have more kids. I accepted the fact that I'd have just one child, a boy. When I met DH 10 years later and knew he was "the one" I knew I'd have at least one more child with him. He wanted two but I was on the fence due to my age. He is 9 years younger than me. When I got pregnant with DS2 I had to have a girl! I had my heart set on a girl. I would look at all the cute girl clothes, shoes, headbands and pray for a girl. When we opened the envelope and it say we were having a boy, I was highly disappointed. It took a good few weeks for me to accept that I was having another boy and may never have my girl. Today, I couldn't imagine not having my two boys in my life. They are my world, my heart, my driving force. But I still longed for a girl. I wanted the experience of raising both a boy and a girl. I felt as if my life wouldn't be complete without being able to raise a girl. The feeling was very intense which is why I decided I wanted to try one more time. Before I knew that LO is a girl, I prepared myself to be a boy mom. Although I felt strongly this one was a girl, based on wives tales only, I kept in the back of my mind that LO could possibly be a boy. I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment. I told everyone that I would be visibly disappointed if we were having another boy. When we opened the envelope and saw the inside of the card was pink, I was overcome with so many emotions. This would have been my brother's first niece (my sister has two boys as well) and he's not here to experience her. He would have been an amazing uncle to her! I feel like my life will be complete in November.
@foxaírt thank you for the great examples of all the shade the stones can come in! It's hard to image that when traditionally, you just see these 12 "standard" colors. I know you said you have a wealth of creative hobbies... do you have an etsy shop or anything like that? If you aren't comfortable sharing any info like that yet, I understand.
Big hugs to everyone! I have 2 little boys and we found out who they were at birth. I had a twinge of disappointment that baby 2 was a boy and thoughts that perhaps it meant we'd never have a girl. But when you hold that precious person in your arms it changes things. I found it helpful to kind of write out and ask myself WHY I was disappointed/fearful about never raising a girl and it brought up a lot of fears/thoughts about my childhood experiences and relationships that I hadn't really processed. Once I realized those things were my issues, it was easier to just bond with the little guy in front of me! I am hopeful this next one is a girl because it would be fun to raise both genders. But each kid is so different from the next, I know a third boy would be an adventure in its own right. For the mamas to be of 2 little boys-- I love having them back to back now. They are such good buddies! They have similar interests! I can justify buying more expensive clothes knowing they will go through 2 kids! LOL.
DH and I found out today. I wouldn't say I was exactly disappointed - I felt from day one that it would be a boy. But a small part of me was hoping to be surprised by a girl. I am very close with my Mom, like the Gilmore Girls, and was hoping to have a similar relationship with a daughter. But I also love boys and grew up with a brother, all male cousins, and in an all-boy neighborhood, so I am definitely well prepared. Hopefully we can be close, too!
Anyone's kids more disappointed than themselves? When I told DS about the baby he immediately got excited and wanted it to be a boy and wanted a baby brother. He got so revel up in the idea that when we told him it could be a girl he would screem 'nooooo'. Cute but worrisome a little bit. He now at least has come around to the idea of a sister but if you asked him what he wants he will say brother. I'm kinda sad for him but I think being a big brother to a girl is going to be so amazing in its own way.
@ShePersisted One of the reasons we are finding out is to give DD some one to cope if baby is a boy. She wants a sister SO badly and she will be really disappointed if it's another little brother.
@foxaírt thank you for the great examples of all the shade the stones can come in! It's hard to image that when traditionally, you just see these 12 "standard" colors. I know you said you have a wealth of creative hobbies... do you have an etsy shop or anything like that? If you aren't comfortable sharing any info like that yet, I understand.
no no store - its on the list and since my modelling work is dyeing a bloated puffy death ha ha I'm planning on getting something up and running - i have a bunch of things to launch with its really just the capital investment in stock even for limited runs of a few things to test what sells -
happy to share once i have something together enough
my grandmother is the source of my gemstone knowledge and its always fun to think outside the standard norms
@ShePersisted I am a little worried about this. My 4 year old is dead set on it being a boy, and the 2 year old says whatever the 4 year old says. We do talk about how it might be a girl and the 4 year old brainstorms names with me. His latest contributions "Liam if it's a girl and Pickle if it's a boy"
I've been avoiding scheduling my anatomy scan because I'm so afraid of it being a girl. I know I will cry and be very upset if they tell me its a girl. One of my twins passed away when they were two weeks old and I was done having children but didn't end up getting my tubal done due to complications. I should have my girl still here, not be having a new one
With my first, I started sobbing at the 20 week scan when we found out DS was a boy. I had been so worried about having a boy due to the risk of Autism, which runs in my family, that we had used microsort. We were about to do ivf with pgs (infertility) when I surprisingly conceived naturally. And of course my DS does have Autism and I even gave him a rare x linked genetic disorder. So this time around we had to end up using an egg donor, but I still really wanted a girl. I was sooo relieved that our one good embryo was female, and that was verified on ultrasound! I felt so bad about DS at first, that I had to keep reminding myself he must have really wanted to be a boy, because I sure tried otherwise. I cannot wait to buy girl clothes!
Jms, we also have a good girl name! I was worried about finding a boy one. I am also excited that this is the first girl baby in the cousin group. I have 4 nephews. And I fully recognize this as silly, but I never pretended to not be.
Well its been a week since we learned that our baby is a girl. I'm feeling still in denial. I've spent the week collecting together girl stuff for the baby....buying a couple of baby girl outfits and going thru DDs old things to see what I've got left over. I bought the cot blanket that matches DDs doona cover. We've settled on her name (I think). And we if course told the family that we are having a girl.
And I am still struggling with it all. The guilt over not being excited is the worst part. I'm a PGAL girl. Im an IF girl. 9 pregnancies leading to only 3 take home bubs. I used to lay there after a loss and beg the universe for a baby...any baby at all. So how on earth can I be so messed up over a healthy baby that will more than likely be my 4th take home baby...just because its female? I've decided to speak to a professional as I think its linked to the perinatal depression and my own messy mother/daughter relationship.
I want to give birth to her and feel this overwhelming moment of falling in love. Like I have before. And I am scared that i wont.
*written in tears. Please excuse the TW or potential emotionalness of this post*
@laura3+2 I am so sorry to hear about your baby girl. That is hard and I can totally understand of ideally wanting your angel baby. I do hope whatever you find out somehow helps heal the loss of your little girl.
Re: Gender Dissappointment
But , Why not get him something custom made and masculine . With the same sentiment as you would a daughter .
This is one I had made for my hubby for his 30th birthday gift .
He liked the concept of the Pandora leather bracelets but they don't offer a masculine option and always looks for a cuff or something with no luck so I went to our jeweller
It's white yellow and rose gold BTW
Point: you are totally not alone.
Now that we're done having kids (well, after this one is born), I want to get a necklace with each kid's first initial and birthstone on a charm. I've been eying Heather Moore Jewelry for a long, long time.
My husband is such a good girl dad. I guess I'm just kind of worried how he will be with a boy. Our daughter is allowed to love playing dress up and playing in the mud. She can wear pink tutus or she can rock a sporty jersey. I don't feel like the same gesture will be extended towards our son. My husband is very traditional about male roles (less so with female), and I'm just kind of worried about what that will look like in our combined parenting efforts.
Altbough to be fair we did hit a stumbling block with a conversation about getting him a doll to adjust to having a baby. He was dead set against it until I told him to give me reasons other than that only girls play with dolls. I won that round.
i also don't hate the peach tones it comes in
08-16-08jms look at milk opals with Blue topaz too - and even yellow and green party sapphires to pick up the pastel blue green and honey the white opal give
I like topaz and totally forgot it's the November birthstone. I'm a May baby (emerald) so I personally think that with Honeybear's birthstone (diamond) it would make a great combination!
Married for two years to my Honeybear and expecting a little Honeybee on our homestead in Belgium.
Sorry, this got a tad bit long.
I found it helpful to kind of write out and ask myself WHY I was disappointed/fearful about never raising a girl and it brought up a lot of fears/thoughts about my childhood experiences and relationships that I hadn't really processed. Once I realized those things were my issues, it was easier to just bond with the little guy in front of me!
I am hopeful this next one is a girl because it would be fun to raise both genders. But each kid is so different from the next, I know a third boy would be an adventure in its own right.
For the mamas to be of 2 little boys-- I love having them back to back now. They are such good buddies! They have similar interests! I can justify buying more expensive clothes knowing they will go through 2 kids! LOL.
DS#2 3/15
Baby #3~
DS#2 3/15
Baby #3~
<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers">
<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers">
And I am still struggling with it all. The guilt over not being excited is the worst part. I'm a PGAL girl. Im an IF girl. 9 pregnancies leading to only 3 take home bubs. I used to lay there after a loss and beg the universe for a baby...any baby at all. So how on earth can I be so messed up over a healthy baby that will more than likely be my 4th take home baby...just because its female? I've decided to speak to a professional as I think its linked to the perinatal depression and my own messy mother/daughter relationship.
I want to give birth to her and feel this overwhelming moment of falling in love. Like I have before. And I am scared that i wont.
*written in tears. Please excuse the TW or potential emotionalness of this post*