Finding out gender

hmthom89 · June 2017

I am a first time mom and very excited to know what my little baby is going to be. My doctor says they don't do the scan until 21 weeks. Is this typical? I hate not knowing until end of August. Oh well.

dkizz82 · June 2017

Yes. Mine doesn't do it until 20 weeks. We have scheduled an elcetive ultrasound for next Friday.

missbmama · June 2017

Mine is also 20 weeks. It's not really for gender but to measure baby and make sure he/she is growing healthy. The gender is just an extra perk with the scan. You could check around your area and see if there are any elective ultrasound areas available. We have one here called My Little Me and I've made an appointment for each of my kids at 16 weeks to find out because I love knowing early and then confirming at the 20 week scan. But it will cost you out of pocket and most places wait until 16 weeks at the earliest to try seeing gender.

anewadventure · June 2017

you will find out the SEX of your baby at your anatomy scan, typically scheduled around 20 weeks.
if you're so very desperate to know, pony up for an elective ultrasound some time after 16 weeks.

your LO will indicate his/her gender identity to you all in good time.

if you're not 21 weeks til the end of august, you aren't due in december anyway. perhaps participate in your BMB in addition to using us as your personal version of the google.

breezybee · June 2017

@anewadventure

maddilatti · June 2017

@anewadventure I'm not sure that you meant it to be that way but that sounded very rude.

And I'm due December 31st and will not be 20 weeks until August 20th which I would call late August. Considering most of my appts fall the week following whatever week I hit, aka my 20 week appt will be somewhere between the 21-25. I just think that was an unnecessary reply.

anewadventure · June 2017

hmthom89 said:

I am a first time mom and very excited to know what my little baby is going to be. My doctor says they don't do the scan until 21 weeks. Is this typical? I hate not knowing until end of August. Oh well.

maddilatti said:

@anewadventure I'm not sure that you meant it to be that way but that sounded very rude.

And I'm due December 31st and will not be 20 weeks until August 20th which I would call late August. Considering most of my appts fall the week following whatever week I hit, aka my 20 week appt will be somewhere between the 21-25. I just think that was an unnecessary reply.

....so you have two sn's? neither of which participate here? it's not my job to be nice to you. you can post as you like and, guess what, so can i.

gender and sex are not the same thing.
google exists, use it.
come chat with us more often, get to know the group, if you're looking for kisses and hand-holding.

dkizz82 · June 2017

anewadventure said:

hmthom89 said:

I am a first time mom and very excited to know what my little baby is going to be. My doctor says they don't do the scan until 21 weeks. Is this typical? I hate not knowing until end of August. Oh well.

maddilatti said:

@anewadventure I'm not sure that you meant it to be that way but that sounded very rude.

And I'm due December 31st and will not be 20 weeks until August 20th which I would call late August. Considering most of my appts fall the week following whatever week I hit, aka my 20 week appt will be somewhere between the 21-25. I just think that was an unnecessary reply.

....so you have two sn's? neither of which participate here? it's not my job to be nice to you. you can post as you like and, guess what, so can i.

gender and sex are not the same thing.
google exists, use it.
come chat with us more often, get to know the group, if you're looking for kisses and hand-holding.

Hmmmmm and there's a baby in the picture.....

mcfeldbb · June 2017

I'm also due in late December, so I participate in this month's board even though if I deliver late I'll be in early January. My dr said that they don't do a gender check until the 20 week ultrasound which would put mine same as yours in late August. I'm not sure why the snippy responses from some users, we all have questions that yes google can answer but sometimes it's nice to get answers from people who had recent experiences with all of this. Or at least I sometimes feel better asking here rather than google. If you want to find out earlier you can do that as part of the CVS test or go to an elective ultrasound place I think after 16 weeks and should get the answer.

maddilatti · June 2017

@anewadventure definitely not two screen names. I was also active in the Sept 15 bump board. And I was not referring to the sex/gender comment as I do agree with you there. I think many people are misinformed on the subject however as many doctors offices and elective ultrasound businesses refer to them as a gender scan.

I was was simply referring to the last comment about her not being due in December. My original due date was Christmas Eve, and then with my dating ultrasound was pushed back to December 31st which would put me at 21 weeks on Aug 27th. I just try to be polite to everyone as I would want people to be to me and I think there is a way to educate people without being condescending.

maddilatti · June 2017

Also I have participated some in the board. I posted in introductions and several other feeds on this board.

anewadventure · June 2017

@mcfeldbb obviously i don't speak for everyone but if you participate (as you do), it's not weird to ask questions of the group. it IS weird to have a sn that you intro for (which this OP apparently does?!) but make a separate one to ask a random drive-by question. very bizarre and, honestly, gets a big WTF from me.

i feel compelled to respond to the rest of your response to say, woah, do NOT have a CVS just to determine the sex of your baby. that is an invasive test with a multi-percentage point chance of miscarriage and is not to be undertaken lightly or for frivolous purposes. yikes.

anewadventure · June 2017

@maddilatti thank you for clarifying. it would be totally crazy for you to be the OP as well and your post did not make it clear that you were not.

coming to white knight a drive-by poster isn't winning you points in my book since you didn't even respond to her concerns, only to your affront at my "rudeness." cool. it's the internet, i can be snarky if i want to. and you can be nice if you want to. that's how it works.

mcfeldbb · June 2017

@anewadventure yep I am fully aware of the test and I am having it for what you seem to be referring to as the "right reasons". But one of the additional pieces of information you get is the gender, which is why I mentioned it. Honestly there's no reason to jump all over people or be judgemental about what they're doing with their body or their pregnancy. Yikes! Please don't feel compelled to respond to me again.

Im also using the ignore feature after this post. Pregnancy isn't a time for additional stress!!

jlemons-2 · June 2017

When you're busy at work for a few hours....

maddilatti · June 2017

@anewadventure Can I make clear that I am most definitely not the original poster! I am a second time mother with a 2 year old daughter that has been a member of the bump since 2015! I know that I can get an elective ultrasound because I did so with my daughter and already have an appt set up for mid July to find out with this baby! I was just pointing out that I thought your response to this poster was somewhat uncalled for!

anewadventure · June 2017

mcfeldbb said:

@anewadventure yep I am fully aware of the test and I am having it for what you seem to be referring to as the "right reasons". But one of the additional pieces of information you get is the gender, which is why I mentioned it. Honestly there's no reason to jump all over people or be judgemental about what they're doing with their body or their pregnancy. Yikes! Please don't feel compelled to respond to me again.

@mcfeldbb your suggestion is indefensible. period.

and, lest i sound like a broken record, it is the SEX. not the gender.

mcfeldbb · June 2017

@maddilatti if you go to someone's profile you can use the upper right icon to hit ignore and no longer see them. In this case it seems like the best move, not worth engaging anymore.

katiegeminimoon · June 2017

adirat · June 2017

Not my circus here, but a point of fact: a CVS does not have a multi-percentage point risk of miscarriage. I agree you should not have a CVS just to find out the sex, but even the conservative stats put the risk at 1 in 200 which is 0.05%. The place I had my CVS has a rate of less than 1 in 1000.

Tennis11785 · June 2017

@adirat - it's like you take the thought right out of my head. I was just about to chime in with that. I've seen some places go a bit higher than the stat you cited, but even then it's only 1%. And almost all credible places admit that it's likely lower because now-a-days the fetus that undergo a CVS often times have something wrong with them and so it's really hard to know if the CVS caused the miscarraige or if the baby would have passed anyway.

With that said, CVSs involve gigantic needles and are no fun at all. I think it's crazy to go through that just to find out the sex of the baby a couple weeks sooner.

If you really need to know, get the NIPT test. Way less invasive and painful.

rainbowdashh · June 2017

@mcfeldbb if you're having CVS done for the "right reasons", why would you ever suggest someone doing it to know the sex? Sure, the complication rate is low. But it's not something you just do for funsies because you can't wait to know.

rainbowdashh · June 2017

Seriously. If you're that desperate, pay to have an elective ultrasound. Hell, pay to have one of the genetic screenings. Do not do invasive testing.

breezybee · June 2017

I'd just like to say that I don't think @anewadventure was out of line calling OP out. We have many threads that address this issue, and I think it's a little annoying to start a whole new post for this question. It's been talked about ENDLESSLY.
I'd also like to add that a little snark never hurt anybody, so relax ladies.

Tennis11785 · June 2017

@breezybee - Agreed that the call out was def necessary. We've got threads on threads on threads on this. And I also agree with her pointing out of sex vs gender.

I just didn't want anyone who might need a cvs to get scared because they think the risk is higher than it is. It's scary enough to be in that situation and knowledge = power!

mcfeldbb · June 2017

@rainbowdashh I didn't! I just mentioned it as part of the results you'd also get that info. I never said go get this test just for the gender. I certainly want everyone to make decisions on testing themselves or with their doctor. I happened to just learn that it was part of the results so I thought maybe others didn't know too. I was merely commenting to the other poster that the "right reasons" are subjective, I don't want to police anyone's testing other than my own, which I'm sure no one on this board does! I'm sorry it appears my comment was misinterpreted, but I think we could all benefit from a little less stress on this post!

As a result of this thread I don't feel like the community is worth participating in anymore so I'll be leaving. Best wishes to all of you with your pregnancies!!

anewadventure · June 2017

my bad on the stats, gals. i absolutely don't want to scare anyone that legitimately needs invasive testing. the suggestion to have a CVS to find out sex was just flabbergasting to me and i didn't check the numbers. glad to have you guys to set it straight!

ameliabedelia-2 · June 2017

What kind of reputable doctor would even do a CVS for sex determination? I feel like if I asked my doctor for that, I would get....

katiegeminimoon · June 2017

@ameliabedelia-2 I think you meant

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/1y/aw8h38j3072z.jpg

ameliabedelia-2 · June 2017

@ktcakes87, at great risk of looking dense.....I don't get it, lol. Who is Paul?

AMCsquared · June 2017

U right u right
#wtfpaul

speach13 · June 2017

Lololol did we just get our first Goodbye Cruel Bump?

Zoyiaperry · June 2017

Here's my $0.02..I'm due 12/31, I had the counsyl screening test. It's a blood test, super easy and noninvasive considering all the probing that goes on with exams and ultrasounds that you get throughout a pregnancy. It screens for a ton of nasty defects and medical syndromes as well as tells you the sex of the baby (I'm having a girl btw), and your insurance may even foot the bill for it. So glad I don't have to wait weeks for a scan

katiegeminimoon · June 2017

@ameliabedelia-2 it was something some people started a few weeks ago on this bmb, so no you don't look dense, it just hasn't fully caught on yet

I'll see if I can find the thread tomorrow and tag you in it.

AMCsquared · June 2017

It was some dude named Paul who kept trying to out someone about being pregnant.

anewadventure · June 2017

our first GBCB? how did it take this long?
still waiting for "I feel sorry for your children."

thatlauragirl · June 2017

What fresh hell is this?? As someone who had a CVS done, that teensy chance of a loss? Trust me, it feels freaking huge when it's your own pregnancy you're talking about. And to determine the sex of the baby? That's a solid no.

If you can't take the waiting, pay for an elective ultrasound.

ameliabedelia-2 · June 2017

@thatlauragirl....lol "what fresh hell is this"...adding to my repertoire.

hmthom89 · November 2017

Sorry that I asked. I'm new here but I guess I should've known? I will no longer be posting or bothering to read this forum because it seems to me that everyone here is not here to help but simply put down others and judge them for asking questions or responding with personal experiences. Makes me sad really that everyone here is supposedly expecting and you cant even talk to one another politely. Regardless I did wait patiently to find out the SEX OR GENDER of my child until the 21 week scan. We are very happy that we are having a baby girl and she IS due in December. Not that anyone cares because I am sure something I just said will start up a whole other uproar. Nice to meet everyone...but I am officially done with this forum.

mdcd44127 · November 2017

Came back just to say she's taking her toys and going home.... 5 months later.

Image: https://media1.tenor.com/images/d3276249a978c7d76bb681435efddfda/tenor.gif?itemid=4986298

MJDsquared · November 2017

Want a personalized experience?

Finding out gender

Re: Finding out gender

Choose Another Board

Search Boards