TTCAL Week of 6/12

dpjennifer · June 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new).
2. Status?
3. R/R?
4. GTKY: What's your favorite crafty thing to do (if any)?

dpjennifer · June 2017

2. Status? Benched. CD 7

3. R/R? *TW* My friends from other coast visited me this weekend, and I got to hold the 9 month old baby and it was super fantastic! I can't believe how excited I got and how uplifted I was to be able to hold her and rock her to sleep. I usually avoid these types of situations since I usually find myself more enraged and bitter, but maybe because these are good friends it was a completely different experience? Anyway, I loved it.

4. GTKY: What's your favorite crafty thing to do (if any)? I'm coming off of a weekend of trying some new cookie recipes and piping royal icing flowers and looking at decorating ideas for SIL's wedding cookies. So, right now I'd say cake/cookie decorating. But, I love doing crafty things (scrapbooking, sewing, quilting, painting, etc.) and want to hear about yours!

SP128 · June 2017

2. Letting science to its thang. First bloodwork and ultrasound this morning to see how the body is responding

3. So hot here. No ac at my schools = ovens

4. My craft is cooking and baking from scratch !! Other than that, not crafty at all. I can barely iron let alone crochet, knit and all that fancy stuff

@dpjennifer I'm so glad you had a good experience with the baby. Would love to pics of your cookies. I've been trying to learn to ice. Need to take a beginners class at michaels. I have all the tools but don't know how to use it

SP128 · June 2017

2. Letting science to its thang. First bloodwork and ultrasound this morning to see how the body is responding

3. So hot here. No ac at my schools = ovens

4. My craft is cooking and baking from scratch !! Other than that, not crafty at all. I can barely iron let alone crochet, knit and all that fancy stuff

@dpjennifer I'm so glad you had a good experience with the baby. Would love to pics of your cookies. I've been trying to learn to ice. Need to take a beginners class at michaels. I have all the tools but don't know how to use it

dpjennifer · June 2017

@SP128 I love baking. I am trying some new recipes for cookies and icing at the moment, and will let you know how they turn out.

I'll post some pics when I have some! I'm basically just 'practicing' and messing around at the moment, and we'll see how it all turns out! :: fingers crossed :: I took some of the cake decorating classes eons ago at a hobby store... I can't remember if I did mine at Michaels or Jo-Anns. BUT they go on sale for like 1/2 off and stuff all the time, which is a great deal then for the first class!

tlq0726 · June 2017

2. Status? 2nd cycle post-mc. CD3.

3. R/R? We (possibly) have our house sold!!! We had one couple come look at it before it even hit the market, and they want it. Gave us more than our asking price and everything. Hopefully all goes well, and we get to close on time.

4. GTKY: What's your favorite crafty thing to do (if any)? I love to do all things crafty. I love to paint, and did all the pictures for DD's recent room make over. I'm no Picasso, but I can paint a mean cartoon hedgehog. I was also planning to learn to sew this summer, but with the impending move I'm not sure that's going to happen. Oh well, there's always Christmas break.

Chawk17 · June 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new).
2. Status? CD 32...just hanging out in TWW
3. R/R? School gets out on Friday- So excited. Heat hasn't hit us yet...some days can still get by with sweatshirt. It's weird to almost be on summer break but temps are cool. Temps today are only projected in mid 70s..might hit 80 by 5 pm.
4. GTKY: What's your favorite crafty thing to do (if any)? I love to knit. 4 years ago when I was youngish and naive and thought getting pregnant was easy...made tons of monster themed baby blankets. Now they're just piled in a closet!
Tried sewing...I'm not patient enough for straight lines.

MooFish2364 · June 2017

1. Not new.

2. Benched at CD 19 I think. Will hopefully find out tomorrow for how long.

3. We had great weather this weekend but I couldn't swim at my moms with everyone else because of my lapro last week. So looking forward to swimming this weekend. I have my follow up with my RE tomorrow. I'm excited to have a plan moving forward. He told DH and my mom after surgery that I should have a normal 25% chance each cycle now but can boost it with meds. It will be nice to have a plan even though it sucks that I have endo. Any others with endo here?

4. I love all sorts of crafts and hobbies. I also do fancy sugar cookies and have been working on my skills for over 15 years. I also crochet, paint, and make stickers and vinyl decals on my Silhouette. Just to name a few. Lol.

@dpjennifer I love to bake sugar cookies too!

@SP128 I hope everything goes well with your u/s today!

@tlq0726 congrats on selling your house. I'm sure that's a huge relief.

@Chawk17 the heat his us this weekend. It was around 90 Saturday and Sunday and today it is supposed to be 89. I live in Michigan and it is unusual for it to be this hot so early in June.

dpjennifer · June 2017

tlq0726 Awesome on the house! Hopefully all goes smoothly with that! And I find that colder winters, with earlier nights, when you're inside more is a perfect time to craft!

Chawk17 Ugh. yes. My collection of things made for 'baby' is depressing when I think that I may never get to use them.

Mack2342 · June 2017

2. Status? TWW insemination this past Saturday
3. R/R?DHs sperm count was low this month and doc said it was probably due to more activity this month than last month said it fluctuates from month to month and not to worry

4. GTKY: What's your favorite crafty thing to do (if any)?i love DIY home improvement projects. I'm not super crafty but I would like to get into cake decorating. May take class at michaels

@dpjennifer. I'm glad you loved holding your friends baby. While I get bothers by some pregnant ladies I find that I truly love babies no matter what.

@sp128. FX for science!

@tlq0726 hope sale goes through

@Chawk17. I'm with you in the TWW

@MooFish2364 hope your appointment goes well tomorrow

ladipale · June 2017

Checking in and will respond soon.

2. WTO and also going for a days with sex streak. so far, its 5 days in a row - our goal is 10 which will put me right dab in middle of fertile window so we'll probably stretch it a few more days.

3. R/R - finals week. brutal. also, my mother in law is getting spinal surgery today and my FIL has chemo this week. rough rough week.

4. I am super into bullet journaling and hand lettering these days. so therapeutic.

hdaley · June 2017

1. Not new.
2. Cd 24/ 9 DPO TWW. Testing tomorrow morning.
3. Very nervous about tomorrow. Some of my TWW symptoms have been different. Smells are enhanced. A little woozy especially after standing up from sitting/lying down. More little headaches.
4. I don't really have a craft per se. I have just gotten into bible journaling but can't find the time to devote to it

Mack2342 · June 2017

FX @hdaley

tlq0726 · June 2017

Good luck @hdaley!!! Sending positive vibes your way. I'd love to get into Bible journaling, but I'm not artsy in that way. I'd probably make myself mad and then never want to look at my Bible

chaser61 · June 2017

2. Taking this month off.
3. R/R? Not really either but I did get blood work back. My PTT was off, which indicates a blood clotting issue. They suggest I go to a hemotologist to check it out and it might be LA Sybdrome. OB said if it is causing MCs then the only treatment would be baby aspirin everyday.
4. GTKY: Not crafty. I have had several Pinterest fails! LOL.

MooFish2364 · June 2017

@ladipale I love bullet journaling! I currently use an Erin Condren life planner but infuse bullet journaling aspects and follow a bujo group on fb. I make all of my own stickers that I use daily.

dpjennifer · June 2017

I just looked up Bible Journaling and am super intrigued now!

Chawk17 · June 2017

Wait. Is it bullet journaling or bible journaling?
I want to look into this but several people are calling it different. Are these two things different or the same

40momma · June 2017

benched for just 1 more cycle but after a few cocktails the other night we didn't take any precautions. I know my OB would scowl a bit for that one but I was CD19 so chances are pretty slim.
It's mid June and I'm wearing a sweater. Seriously summer where are you??
I pick up crafts and then get bored of them pretty quickly. I recently made string art and that was pretty fun.

ladipale · June 2017

So - bible and bullet journaling might be different? I definetley do bullet journaling - its like a planner and journal together in one.

justsuzie · June 2017

So I have been seriously MIA as some of you have noticed. Short end of the long story...well there is no short, so here is the long... I think I had major unresolved issues from not dealing with the multiple losses I've had over the past year and I had a bit of a major meltdown. I think I had/have PTSD. I had been feeling pretty anxious for the past 3-4 weeks but was just trying to deal with it. I was at a 4 on the anxiety level at all times sometimes peaking to a 5 or 6 out of 10. And then my BF had her baby last week and I pretty much had a nervous breakdown with full blown panic attacks multiple times a day. I was hysterical on the phone with my OB who found me a therapist and got me back on my anxiety meds. I am managing now but the therapist says I should put ttc on hold for a while considering my fragile state. The worst thing is that I don't feel like I have unresolved issues but my body and brain feel otherwise.

And it just gets better...my husband had major surgery last week and has been doped up on painkillers so he really hasn't been coherent enough to help me.

And, there's more... The day after my bf's baby was born my dog ingested a toxin in the woods of some sort and started having grand mal seizures and was rushed to the emergency vet for 3 days. Thankfully he pulled through.

So I have just barely been able to hold it together. I do feel much better on the meds and the therapy is just beginning but I still haven't been able to visit my BF and the baby. My EDD was only 3ish weeks ago so it's just like a stab in the gut. I tried to drive to the hospital to see them but ended up having a panic attack while driving there which was not good. I think I've pretty much ruined that relationship and don't know if she will be able to understand. I know her husband hates me because of it.

I'm taking it one day at a time and trying to stay present. I've missed you ladies but it was too stressful being online so I went off the grid for a while. I don't think the therapist suggests we ttc so don't really have a plan. I have however spent the past hour catching up on all the threads. We NEED some bfps dammit.

ladipale · June 2017

Oh @justsuzie - I am so so sorry for everything you are going through. The PTSD and unresolved issues from multiple losses is not uncommon - I hope you know that. Its such a tough place to be - sad for the losses and want to be pregnant/have a baby, but also having anxiety about being pregnant. Hang in there. We are here for you when you need us but I understand when/if you need space.

Chawk17 · June 2017

We missed you @justsuzie. First sorry about your dog- they are our babies so I'm sure you were a mess.
Your BF should understand if she's really a friend- or at least try to understand. Hopefully her husband doesn't try to ruin that relationship.
Get your mental health self together...thats the most important.

vlagrl29 · June 2017

@justsuzie. I've been lurking cause I said a big FU to ttc for the 2nd time in a year. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all that but god you've been thru a heck of a lot with all your losses! It's totally understandable. I've had anxiety attacks in my past and I hate that feeling. Getting that anxiety in my last TWW is what showed me I just need to stop thinking about this entire process. I'm glad you found a therapist. Glad your dog is ok. I really do hope you get your rainbow soon. Why would your friends not understand? Do they know about your losses.

Mack2342 · June 2017

@justsuzie good to hear from you. I'm so sorry for everything that you have been through. I'm glad you getting some help. You have to take care of yourself and PTSD is real. Glad your fur baby is ok. Hopefully DH is on the mend so he can assist you. I sure hope your friend understands. You will be in my thoughts.

dpjennifer · June 2017

justsuzie Sorry you’re having a rough time! Understood because I have PTSD from RPL as well. It sucks. Glad that the meds and therapy are starting to help. Not much you can do besides give it some time and hope for the best. You’ve had a rough road and I hope you can get your body and mind back on track. Hopefully your BF will understand, I would hope she would since you’re so close! But it is hard for people who haven’t experienced loss to ‘get’ it. And I really hope that your dog is ok! That’s so upsetting. I can’t imagine!

justsuzie · June 2017

@dpjennifer @Chawk17 @ladipale @Mack924 @vlagrl29

thank you ladies. Thankfully (and unfortunately) you all are he only ones that understand. For a few days I felt so lost and hopeless that I just counted down the minutes until I could go to sleep because it was the only time I felt not horrible.

PTSD is a real thing that I never thought would hsooen to me. I have hope that therapy will help. And I'm trying to find s group meeting. I hear Hope after loss is a great group.

Thanks again for all your kindness. World needs more of it.

msstephanielynn · June 2017

Status/R/R: Woof. I've been pretty quiet over the last few weeks because it's been extremely emotionally trying and overwhelming. Sorry to those on Trouble TTC board because this is a repeat.

I went to a bridal shower for a second cousin to which her Mom asked me if I was pregnant to which I responded "no, not me" and then she persisted saying "are you sure". UM YES I AM PRETTY SURE. After she walked away I broke down in tears. Ugly cry, mascara everywhere, then had to explain to my Aunt and cousin's wife why. After she walked away I broke down in tears. Ugly cry, mascara everywhere, then had to explain to my Aunt and cousin's wife why and be told that "things happen for a reason". SERIOUSLY!? Needless to say, Ben & Jerry were my BFFs that night.

Fast forward a few days to my OB calling me and letting me know that I came back positive for autoimmune disease and MTHFR mutation. So great, not only can I not get pregnant but may have bigger fish to fry.

Then met with the RE for the initial consult this week. Of course everything she says conflicts with my OB... but she's the expert so I guess we should trust the process. I need to have more testing on CD3 and then HSG from CD5-12, which of course I'm scheduled to be away on vacation when AF shows up, so probably will have to wait another month for any of the testing. Any tips or tricks to get AF here sooner? Or know of a hole I can just crawl into to avoid it all?

GTKY: Probably doodling. I wish I had more time for all the things I pin on pinterest

msstephanielynn · June 2017

@dpjennifer That sounds so sweet Glad it was a nice experience for you!

@SP128 How do they not have AC in schools with the crazy weather we get?!

@tlq0726 Wow the housing market is crazy now. FX for an easy sale for you!

@moofish2364 I posted to you on the Trouble TTC but really glad things went well for you! I use the Erin Condren as well but feel like I always run out of space in a day!

@mack2342 and @hdaley FX for you!

@ladipale Wow you must be tired hehe. I love bullet journaling – so pretty

@justsuzie It sounds like you have had a really rough few weeks. Hang in there. I hope that time will help heal and the meds make it more bearable. Glad your pup is OK. My guy just went in for surgery too.

dpjennifer · June 2017

@justsuzie Sorry you're going through this... when I was reading about MC and RPL I saw an article talking about PTSD and MC and my first thought was "what a load of crock." But I was struggling at the time and kept reading and it really started to resonate with me and the checklist of feelings/symptoms/etc. was pretty much exactly my life. And I was like, well, I'll be danged... That was right before I started happy pills and therapy. I'd never thought of it that way.

I hope you feel better/more yourself. And let me know if you need to talk or rant or come up with creative ways to stab people in your head or cry... I'm here for all of those... sometimes at the same time!

@msstephanielynn Ugh sorry. I hate it when people say 'helpful' things like that crap. I would've said something abrasive back for sure. Also, I've seen 2 RE's and they even said some conflicting things. So, if you aren't sure, get another opinion. Sometimes I swear that obstetrics as a medical field hasn't changed much in 100 years...

hdaley · June 2017

@justsuzie. Glad to hear from you! Sorry you are dealing with so much shit. PTSDeffects so many people. Most people hear it and think military but that's not true. I believe I have some form of it too. I was sexually assaulted at 18 and dealt with attacks whenever I went to the town it happened in. I wish it was something people didn't blow off unless you were in a war. It's not fair.

Hugs to to you and I am glad you realized you needed help and are getting it. Most people aren't brace enough to do that. Myself included. I have never seen a therapist but I have been on medications before.

SP128 · June 2017

@justsuzie hugs to you lady. I'm sorry life is so hard for you right now. You are dealing with a lot. I'm glad you are talking to someone and taking meds.

hope your dh recovers quickly so you have his support.

I sincerely hope that your bfs dh doesn't give you a hard time about not visiting. The losses you went through was traumatic and it was all recent and to have such close edds to boot.

Right now, you need to do what keeps you sane and healthy. It's the only thing that matters.

@msstephanielynn you would be surprised at the state of these schools. For one school, I share an office with two other people if you can call it that. I'm sorry people are so effing nosy answer don't monday their own business.

zamoraspin · June 2017

@justsuzie I am so sorry for what you have been through and what you are going through, glad you are getting some help, you don't have to carry it all by yourself.

@msstephanielynnI'm so sorry you went through that and the news re autoimmune and MTHFR. I agree that the "things happen for a reason" thing is terrible. Your post made me want to post just to say, fuck that expression.

1. Introduce yourself (if new). Hi guys, I am 35, MH is 33 and we've been married just over two years. We have four furbabies, three dogs (mutts) and one elderly high maintenance cat. I am currently going through the loss of my first pregnancy. BFP 5/14, at our first appt on 6/8 (should have been 7w1d) we saw only a sac on u/s (about 5w size). At first I vacillated between devastation and denial. A couple days later I started bleeding. 6/13 I took Misoprostol after a follow-up u/s which showed the sac was still empty. Still having pain and bleeding.
2. Status? Certainly benched atm. I know I want to try again "soon" but am leaning towards waiting one cycle. I brought up to MH last night that there are some studies that indicate women are more fertile 3-6 months after mc and he quickly changed the topic so I'm going to have to see how he feels about a timeline.
3. R/R? Here is my rant for the day/week. On Tuesday at my appt the nurse told me that "God has a plan for all of us, and this is part of his plan". At the time I was just trying to keep it together at the doctor's office and not ugly cry so I didn't react. If you are religious, I don't mean any offense, but to me, that is maybe one of the most hurtful things someone could say. So, God has a plan for us, and his plan includes me getting pregnant just so we can lose our baby? No thank you to that plan. I prefer to think that this is something that happens, and that we are just unlucky.
4. GTKY: What's your favorite crafty thing to do (if any)? I love to bake but I have been trying to keep my sugar intake very low so I don't do it much. I have taken up crochet. The toughest projects for me are the ones where you make two of something. It's hard to make a project look exactly the same twice.

Mack2342 · June 2017

@zamora_spin. So sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. While we all hate to be here, these ladies are awesome! I hate when people tell me that too. I am religious and I told my husband after our 2nd loss that I felt like we were being punished for something. I think people say things because they just don't know what to say. My sister sent me a card after my second loss that said something about me being one strong person because god only gives us what we can handle. My thoughts were then I'd rather be weak! This is such a difficult process. Be kind to yourself and know that whatever feelings you have are ok.

MooFish2364 · June 2017

@justsuzie I'm so sorry for all of the anxiety and heartbreak you have been through. I'm so glad that your fur babe pulled through. I also had pet issues right after my loss and it just compounded everything. I needed duonlosing her a few months after my mc. We just love our little fur babies like family.

I really hioe hope that your friend will understand. Her husband should too. I know it's hard for people who have never suffered a loss, but they are new parents. Ask them how they would feel if their baby didn't end up being a take home baby. Maybe that will help put some things into perspective.

@msstephanielynn I also feel like I run out of room in my EC. But I think I'm too much of a perfectionist to truly bullet journal. I just end up too frustrated when I mess something up and spend too much time redoing things.

zamoraspin · June 2017

@Mack2342 I know you are right, people are just trying to help. They just say the darndest things.

Now I am freaked out that I have made a wrong decision by taking the Misoprostol. I just spoke with my doctor's office and they told me my hCG actually went up between Thursday (1800) and Tuesday (3800). When I saw the doctor Tuesday he told me the loss was inevitable and the u/s still showed just a sac when it should have been nearly 8w. I am trying to tell myself I was bleeding, I couldn't have had my dates that wrong (would require that first positive HPT was pre-conception), my body was just confused, and that the levels could have gone up and then started to come down and we'd have no way to know. Did any of you have doubt after the fact? How did you deal with it?

dpjennifer · June 2017

@zamora_spin Agreed on the "God has a plan" thing. I hate it! I had a bit of doubt when my first MC showed a sac 5.5 weeks instead of 8 weeks along and hadn't grown since my 7 week ultrasound. But I trusted medical science that it hadn't grown and it was over.

ChloandCoco · June 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new)
Both DH and I are 30, we have a 5 year old corgi and an almost 2 yo DD. I am currently going through my first loss, it started happening last Monday at 6w6d. The ER doctor told me that with that much blood loss there would be no positive outcome. I had an US the next day and it confirmed that I was having a miscarriage and it was a blighted ovum. Things happened naturally, and the bleeding has almost stopped. I'm going for an US in a couple of hours to make sure it's progressing normally.
2. Status? Limbo - Both DH and I agree that we don't want to wait to TTC, so we will start NTNP in a couple of weeks.
3. R/R? Rant - It's just a hard week, and I'm not looking forward to all the family gatherings this weekend. My MIL keeps talking about pregnant women in front of me (we told her about the loss), so I'm going to ask my DH to step in if she starts talking about that again.
4. GTKY: What's your favorite crafty thing to do (if any)? I'm not into crafty stuff, but I do like to do home renos.

rklinge0 · June 2017

@justsuzie I would assume that she would understand. But if not possibly make up the excuse that you were waiting to come by when things slow down, which will give you more time.
@msstephanielynn I got asked around the holidays when we were going to give Dd a sibling. (Miscarried right before thanksgiving) It was heartbreaking to be asked. Sorry you had to go through that.
@zamora_spin so sorry that the nurse was a "god planner". I don't think people realize how hurtful it is to say something like that. If you want to get snarky back when people say that,don't hesitate. For me, comments like that push people away from religion in their hour of need.

zamoraspin · June 2017

Hey, @ChloandCoco, how are you feeling? I'm sorry about your MIL, that sucks. Some people just do not know how to be sensitive. I wish I was handy, that's so cool that you know how to do home reno.

ChloandCoco · June 2017

@zamora_spin - I'm sorry you are second guessing taking the medication. Are you getting some more blood taken in a few days to see if it's decreasing? I'm doing a lot better today; I just had another US and my uterus is now empty.

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