I'm so sorry this is long, this is more of a post trying to understand my own feelings so that maybe I can look at this differently, and it can make me a better person. My baby boy is three months old and before he was born, I got along really well with the majority of my bfs family. Especially his mom, I would say we were very close. I will say I understand 100% why our family wants to be around my son and us. Which is because they love us, duh. That's why I feel stupid for struggling with certain things.
MIL drives me nuts now. Even my mom drives me crazy too. I'm sure the majority of these feelings can be chalked up to horomones and I feel awful for it because I love both of our families so much. When we came home from the hospital we didn't keep visitors away like we should have. That's when the annoyance started with me. There were too many phone calls and questions. They all really care about his weight. Baby and I struggled to breastfeed so there were many nights of tears, and syringe feeding while my bf held me to comfort me over my feeling like a failure because baby wouldn't take my breast at all. MIL truly never did a thing, but for some reason with her I am struggling the most. She is helpful and wonderful. She loves our son Very well. but shes killing my nerves. She and my bf are close because she pretty much raised him and his sis alone. He tells her every detail about our life with baby. Which I dont mind to an extent. I don't think she or anyone need to know every time we go to the dr, or what his weight is, how much he poops, if our nursing session just went well. I feel like that's just on a need to know basis. Like if he had a condition everyone needed or be aware of then we would tell everyone. Otherwise, I think a general he's doing great and is healthy should suffice. Right?
She bought him a ton of clothes, books and toys. Bought him his first Easter basket, which broke my heart because I wanted to do that, and decided to wait another year so he would understand more. She bought all these toys, books, a Boppy, changing pad etc. for her house. We have only been over once. She doesn't live at home full time (living with and taking care of ailing father.) And every time she holds baby I just want him back. I get jealous when I feel like she's sitting there talking about him as if she knows everything about his temperament. It's almost like I'm internally rolling my eyes whenever she's around. I hear her constantly saying "ohhhhhh he's so cute, ohhh omg." "Look at that hair." "Look at those feet, toes, ears, eyes and mouth." I hate it when she fawns all over him. I hate it. He was even screaming and didn't offer to give him back. I wasn't cringing wanted to pick him up, but felt awful taking him away.
Idk what's wrong with me! I love this woman with all my heart. She is very easy to talk and relate to. Her ex and so are very similar in their butthole ways, so she has helped a lot in giving me perspective. She is so kind and loving toward me. I don't want my horomones to affect my relationship with her. I want to be able to feel comfortable being around her and letting her play with my boy, and just be happy watching them interact, but right now it makes my skin crawl. Does anyone have any suggestions or stories that could help me with this situation in the future? Trying to grow and be a better person and mama.