Yesterday my dog snuck out of the house when I went out to hang a rug to dry on the porch. I didn't even notice she was gone until a neighbor (whom I hadn't met before) brought her back. Oops
my dogs kill basically every nondog nonhuman thing that comes into our fenced yard. Might not seem like much but it's been about 10 different kinds of animals up to 20 lbs.... since we've had them they have probably killed 25-30 creatures (a bird and two raccoons just so far this year that I can think of). Every time it happens we just grab the gloves/shovel and a trash bag and throw it away with the regular trash. Sorry trash man!
Also I feel nothing when it happens. Other than irritation that some dumb animal came into the yard.
I went to an infant/mother care class last night and they talked about pelvic floor exercises. You still have time! They also said to do them laying down or at least reclined bc your pelvic floor needs a little break from holding everything up. So they said not to while you're sitting straight up or standing (or on the toilet!).
They also said to start doing them again immediately after birth - like while you're still in the hospital. Again, while laying down for a couple weeks and to take it slow. Just bc the exercise sounds easy, your muscles went through a lot of trauma so don't try to overdo it.
FWIW I haven't been doing them either. I always intend to, but I always forget.
@Potterphile - My dog does the same thing. Bunnies, groundhogs, moles, birds. Anything she can get. Last year she actually brought the dead baby groundhog up on the deck and dropped it by the door like it was a gift. yuck.
re- dog killing little critters Our first dog would always kill any animal that came into our yard as well. Wish he hadn't passed before we moved into our new home. He would have rid us of the gophers in the yard. My yard was destroyed from the gophers. We have a new dog and he does NOTHING! WTH dog!! Do you not see that blue jay eating my berries!?! At least chase it out!!
@notachanski we have to pull rank to get it from them most of the time. They're not gifts they're...dinner? They never want to leave it alone, and then they get this bloodlust look in their eyes and its just all bets are off. I've never understood that they don't do anything like this will small dogs or people though- they go to daycare and are model citizens, and the neighbor has small kids who stick their hands though the fence and it's no big deal. Weird.
@AdaByron I often wonder what their upper limit is.. we've got three huskies and they hunt as a pack so I don't know what the animal would have to be for them to back off. Fortunately the yard is fenced so we haven't had to face the deer scenario which terrifies me. I have no doubt they would kill it but I worry about them getting hurt. They've never had more than a little scratch or two. Most of their fur is so thick that it's impossible for a critter to penetrate it.
When I still lived at my parents and had a yard, my dog would work with my cat to corner and hunt small animals. They had to have killed at least 10 chipmunks a week. Without the cat, my dog doesn't even look twice unless she thinks the animal wants to play with her.
Not quite the same, but Re: pets hunting, I'm sure my cat would bring me all kinds of presents if we let her out. We don't, but she hunts every bug worth the size of hunting inside the house, and I love it. I love that she hunts down all the moths and flies that get in and then eats them so I don't even have to clean them up.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@kerils, our Maine Coon is huge so he gets outdoor time otherwise he would tear the house apart. Last week, I opened the back door to let him in and he had a bird in his mouth. I told him to drop it. Finally he did and THE BIRD FLEW OUT OF HIS MOUTH. Two nights ago I caught him hunting a tiny lizard.
@potterphile - Usually her go to response is to roll on them. She throws them around and plays with them basically until they are dead, then rolls over them until I catch her and scream. Its so gross. And my FFFC is that I don't always even wash her after LOL.
we have deer, coyotes, rabbits, etc. in our backyard and our dogs will chase them but are trained not to leave our yard. I honestly don't know what they would do if they caught one. I think they would just want to play with them lol
The most vicious thing my 12 pound dog's done is bark at a horse, and she was shaking the whole time. Oh, and once she played with a big spider, that was disgusting. Usually she's a dog of luxury and couldn't hurt anything even if she tried.
Re: dogs hunting. Ever since we moved into my in-laws house, our dog has hunted in their yard. She has caught multiple mice, a few rats, and has cornered opossums. She chases all the birds and is also at war with the squirrel that my FIL feeds. It's funny because she is scared of everything, but when she's outside doing her thing, she's fearless.
I grew up on a farm and work in an animal-related field, and do not understand the obsession with pets. Maybe that's a UO.
I am trying to figure out how to tell DH that un/loading the dishwasher makes me SO nauseous (I hate the word nauseated, don't care that it's correct). It's the truth, but it sounds so man-flu like that I'm embarrassed to mention it.
FFFC: Today is Free Donut Day at Dunkin Donuts. I got a donut AND a bagel.
I got an email that they were giving out free donuts at DH's work. I texted him to bring me one but he got out early and was already on the way home. FFFC: I wanted to punch him in the face.
I got an 80 minute pregnancy massage yesterday. It was amazing. I'm trying to figure out how to talk DH into one more before this pregnancy is over (it's $189 and worth every penny!!!)
I've started eating dates in hopes of avoiding an induction. My doctor never heard of it, and I doubt it will work, but I'll do it anyway. Being induced is super scary to me!!
My FFFC: I have little to no patience for coddled, oversensitive children. I want all my children to be strong and self-reliant. I see so many students at my school that crumble in the face of adversity, and I just want to tell them to man or woman up.
My FFFC: I have little to no patience for coddled, oversensitive children. I want all my children to be strong and self-reliant. I see so many students at my school that crumble in the face of adversity, and I just want to tell them to man or woman up.
Good luck with that.
Regardless of what you want, children are their own people and will react to situations not how we'd like them to, especially when we (parents) are not around. Despite what they have been taught or how they've been brought up.
My FFFC: I have little to no patience for coddled, oversensitive children. I want all my children to be strong and self-reliant. I see so many students at my school that crumble in the face of adversity, and I just want to tell them to man or woman up.
Uff you spoke my mind. This has been on my mind for a few weeks now. I feel like children here are a lot more sensitive and probably have been conditioned to be extremely sensitive about themselves! That is not how I was brought up. It was about being patient and ignoring what you don't like, and not taking things so seriously. I'd give all credit to the society I was brought up in like my parents and grandparents, and fifty other relatives for that.
My FFFC: I have little to no patience for coddled, oversensitive children. I want all my children to be strong and self-reliant. I see so many students at my school that crumble in the face of adversity, and I just want to tell them to man or woman up.
Uff you spoke my mind. This has been on my mind for a few weeks now. I feel like children here are a lot more sensitive and probably have been conditioned to be extremely sensitive about themselves! That is not how I was brought up. It was about being patient and ignoring what you don't like, and not taking things so seriously. I'd give all credit to the society I was brought up in like my parents and grandparents, and fifty other relatives for that.
Right. Okay. Well on the flip side of that, sensitive children are often more empathetic and nurturing. I would rather raise a person who doesn't ignore issues and can be empathetic to other people's situations and speak up.
Backing up here for a second, this is probably a btdt thing but there are sensitive to highly sensitive babies and children that just have different needs. My daughter is one of them. she certainly kicked my a$$into motherhood and taught me how to be HER mother (vs expect her to be my daughter) and figure out the right way to comfort and nurture her and as she got older, help her express her frustration, process her emotions, and advocate for what she needs to move forward. The result is a very shy 5year old who is amazingly creative, so empathetic, plays well with others, pretty much never throws tantrums, and always willing to talk and hug it out. Again, every child is different, but I started out with the same idea you guys had, realized my child was sensitive, started giving her tools rather than training her to toughen up and ignore, and am very happy with how she's growing up. (also to note I couldn't have done it without the support/network of other moms and a child therapist to help me work through my some of own expectations and immediate reactions and develop the right approach for her)
My two are are polar opposites as far as personality but they are both sensitive in their own way. I have cared and supported them but I wouldn't say coddled by any stretch. My 2 year old in sensitive to change, any interaction she does not initiate, and anything she has to do that she can't control. My 1 year old on the otherhand is so eager to please and will do anything you want him to but he is a sensitive heart and will throw tantrums if I leave him for 2 seconds to use the bathroom and any stern reprimands break his heart. He will give up his last toy or bit of food even if he wants it to make someone else happy. I love every bit of both their sensitivities even if it means I couldn't spoon feed my daughter and my son has to sit in my lap while he drinks his sippy cup every single time.
Coddling doesnt manifest sensitivity. My best advice as a mom is to not have expectations as to how your children will be or turn out, that loving them means to love who they are not your idea of what you want them to be. I wouldn't change my sensitive babies for the world and I am eager to find out what sensitivities my new one will have.
I am a sensitive person myself, but I can handle hardships and disappointment. Some of the kids I teach don't have problem solving skills or flexibility. It rides the line between being sensitive and being spoiled and overindulged. When parents try to shield their children from any negativity, they don't learn how to handle it on their own.
I will encourage my children to feel their emotions and express them. However, I will also teach them to regulate their emotions--which is a developmental milestone. Also how to express their emotions appropriately (when they're old enough to regulate them). I'm going to expect my 2 year old to fling herself on the floor and scream and cry. An older kid having a temper tantrum or crying inconsolably when they don't get their way is less acceptable.
@Dcwtada yes! A lot of people who just don't know about HSCs would probably look at the way I interact with DD and judge me for being too coddly, but when she's just a toddler and she's clearly overstimulated and there are too many big personalities around her and maybe she's either hungry or tired or both, she doesn't need to buck up or go on time out by herself etc - she needs me to hold her, comfort her, take her out of the situation and reset. I will tell her that sometimes things get too intense and when that happens we just need to step back out of the situation and chill out for a second and then we can decide what we want to do then.
Oh my gosh yes @satsumasandlemons. And it's so tough because she can be so affectionate and playful but if she gets overwhelmed or something makes her uncomfortable it's a different story. And anything you push on her back fired. I don't know if it was the pressure or what, but little things like being able to feed her with a spoon, hold her hand when she was walking, pushed on a swing, or even calling me momma she flat out refused to do because I was trying so hard to get her to do them and she shut down.
She has gotten so much better as she has gotten older, we can hold hands but even to this day she refuses to call me momma, swing, or let anyone feed her. She is happy and content but out of her element or, like you said, being around a big personailty she freaks out. Every child is different and some can have strong negative reactions to outside stimuli or not being able to control their environment. And I can understand how it looks like a happy or well behaved child throwing a tantrum for no reason. It's tough to explain why she was fine until we had to hold hands to get to the car or the last couple days we used the stroller to take her to the park and today we used it to go to grandmas and she got upset when we didn't go there and was sobbing in the stroller.
I love when FTMs make general statements. I used to be one so I can sit back and laugh now. My DD has just about humbled every single "I'll never" I ever had though. Some kids are just sensitive. My DD is one of them. Judging another mom or their child because of how the child is acting in one moment is never a good idea. You don't know the backstory and you don't know their struggles.
I love when FTMs make general statements. I used to be one so I can sit back and laugh now. My DD has just about humbled every single "I'll never" I ever had though. Some kids are just sensitive. My DD is one of them. Judging another mom or their child because of how the child is acting in one moment is never a good idea. You don't know the backstory and you don't know their struggles.
Oh man. My big one was hard core judging anyone who's toddler had a snot trail down the front of his/her face. How could you just not keep their face clean?
Cue the move to the U.K. and 6 months of perpetual snot leakage from anyone under the age of 10. There were days where there were not enough tissues in the world.
I tried to find a gif to accompany this, but they all grossed me out...
Being highly sensitive is a personality trait. It's not something you can just unlearn through exposure to less sensitive people. It affects something like 15-20% of the population. This type of sensitivity means you take in more environmental stimuli and process things more deeply. It means you get overstimulated and exhausted more easily, but you're also very comfortable going "deep" with people one-on-one and being extra empathetic, as others have mentioned.
I know some of the discussion here is more about not being able to deal with adversity/setbacks/criticism, which is a little broader and probably is more malleable - as in, you can teach your children coping skills and to have a healthy relationship with failure. But I would hate for people to think they could or should change something that actually has a genetic basis - and has both advantages and disadvantages.
Re: FFFC
my dogs kill basically every nondog nonhuman thing that comes into our fenced yard. Might not seem like much but it's been about 10 different kinds of animals up to 20 lbs.... since we've had them they have probably killed 25-30 creatures (a bird and two raccoons just so far this year that I can think of). Every time it happens we just grab the gloves/shovel and a trash bag and throw it away with the regular trash. Sorry trash man!
Also I feel nothing when it happens. Other than irritation that some dumb animal came into the yard.
am I doomed now?..
do I still have time..?
They also said to start doing them again immediately after birth - like while you're still in the hospital. Again, while laying down for a couple weeks and to take it slow. Just bc the exercise sounds easy, your muscles went through a lot of trauma so don't try to overdo it.
FWIW I haven't been doing them either. I always intend to, but I always forget.
I want another one because I didn't get to sit down and enjoy it.
Edited - bump ate my second sentence
Our first dog would always kill any animal that came into our yard as well. Wish he hadn't passed before we moved into our new home. He would have rid us of the gophers in the yard. My yard was destroyed from the gophers.
We have a new dog and he does NOTHING! WTH dog!! Do you not see that blue jay eating my berries!?! At least chase it out!!
most of the time. They're not gifts they're...dinner? They never want to leave it alone, and then they get this bloodlust look in their eyes and its just all bets are off. I've never understood that they don't do anything like this will small dogs or people though- they go to daycare and are model citizens, and the neighbor has small kids who stick their hands though the fence and it's no big deal. Weird.
@AdaByron I often wonder what their upper limit is.. we've got three huskies and they hunt as a pack so I don't know what the animal would have to be for them to back off. Fortunately the yard is fenced so we haven't had to face the deer scenario which terrifies me. I have no doubt they would kill it but I worry about them getting hurt. They've never had more than a little scratch or two. Most of their fur is so thick that it's impossible for a critter to penetrate it.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
He is a thug brute.
I am trying to figure out how to tell DH that un/loading the dishwasher makes me SO nauseous (I hate the word nauseated, don't care that it's correct). It's the truth, but it sounds so man-flu like that I'm embarrassed to mention it.
Me: 26 Him: 27
Dating: 5/2011 Married: 6/2014
Mirena out/TTC: 02/2016
BFP #1: 12/01/2016
EDD: 07/24/2017
my happy boy
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
my happy boy
Regardless of what you want, children are their own people and will react to situations not how we'd like them to, especially when we (parents) are not around. Despite what they have been taught or how they've been brought up.
my happy boy
That is not how I was brought up. It was about being patient and ignoring what you don't like, and not taking things so seriously. I'd give all credit to the society I was brought up in like my parents and grandparents, and fifty other relatives for that.
Backing up here for a second, this is probably a btdt thing but there are sensitive to highly sensitive babies and children that just have different needs. My daughter is one of them. she certainly kicked my a$$into motherhood and taught me how to be HER mother (vs expect her to be my daughter) and figure out the right way to comfort and nurture her and as she got older, help her express her frustration, process her emotions, and advocate for what she needs to move forward. The result is a very shy 5year old who is amazingly creative, so empathetic, plays well with others, pretty much never throws tantrums, and always willing to talk and hug it out. Again, every child is different, but I started out with the same idea you guys had, realized my child was sensitive, started giving her tools rather than training her to toughen up and ignore, and am very happy with how she's growing up. (also to note I couldn't have done it without the support/network of other moms and a child therapist to help me work through my some of own expectations and immediate reactions and develop the right approach for her)
My two are are polar opposites as far as personality but they are both sensitive in their own way. I have cared and supported them but I wouldn't say coddled by any stretch. My 2 year old in sensitive to change, any interaction she does not initiate, and anything she has to do that she can't control. My 1 year old on the otherhand is so eager to please and will do anything you want him to but he is a sensitive heart and will throw tantrums if I leave him for 2 seconds to use the bathroom and any stern reprimands break his heart. He will give up his last toy or bit of food even if he wants it to make someone else happy. I love every bit of both their sensitivities even if it means I couldn't spoon feed my daughter and my son has to sit in my lap while he drinks his sippy cup every single time.
Coddling doesnt manifest sensitivity. My best advice as a mom is to not have expectations as to how your children will be or turn out, that loving them means to love who they are not your idea of what you want them to be. I wouldn't change my sensitive babies for the world and I am eager to find out what sensitivities my new one will have.
I will encourage my children to feel their emotions and express them. However, I will also teach them to regulate their emotions--which is a developmental milestone. Also how to express their emotions appropriately (when they're old enough to regulate them). I'm going to expect my 2 year old to fling herself on the floor and scream and cry. An older kid having a temper tantrum or crying inconsolably when they don't get their way is less acceptable.
She has gotten so much better as she has gotten older, we can hold hands but even to this day she refuses to call me momma, swing, or let anyone feed her. She is happy and content but out of her element or, like you said, being around a big personailty she freaks out. Every child is different and some can have strong negative reactions to outside stimuli or not being able to control their environment. And I can understand how it looks like a happy or well behaved child throwing a tantrum for no reason. It's tough to explain why she was fine until we had to hold hands to get to the car or the last couple days we used the stroller to take her to the park and today we used it to go to grandmas and she got upset when we didn't go there and was sobbing in the stroller.
Cue the move to the U.K. and 6 months of perpetual snot leakage from anyone under the age of 10. There were days where there were not enough tissues in the world.
I tried to find a gif to accompany this, but they all grossed me out...
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
I know some of the discussion here is more about not being able to deal with adversity/setbacks/criticism, which is a little broader and probably is more malleable - as in, you can teach your children coping skills and to have a healthy relationship with failure. But I would hate for people to think they could or should change something that actually has a genetic basis - and has both advantages and disadvantages.
Tests to see if you or your child meets the criteria:
https://hsperson.com/test/
For anyone who thinks their child might be highly sensitive, get this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Overwhelms/dp/0767908724
For anyone who thinks they might be highly sensitive themselves, get this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Thrive-Overwhelms/dp/0553062182/
End social sciences researcher mode