UO Thursday 6/1

lund · June 2017

Go ahead and tell us your wrong opinion so that you can be property chastised

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/hk/0zmqod11lhq2.gif

theoryofwhat · June 2017

I don't understand the obsession and popularity of Chipotle, I think they're so overrated.
Their food, IMO, is average at best.

Plus, they have a history or giving people food poisoning. They poisoned half of Boston (exaggeration) like a year or so ago and there have been outbreaks even after that.
Just, ew.

pebbledam · June 2017

UO #1: I don't like Labrador Retrievers. I feel bad saying that because I'm a total dog person, but I find them boring and not really all that smart. That being said, some of my favorite dogs have been Lab mixes.

UO #2: I like flossing.

@yayglitter - Qdoba > Chipotle

vflux33 · June 2017

I don't like when moms talk down to people who aren't moms and tell us we "don't know what being tired/drained/happy/afraid/insert whatever" is like because we aren't moms. I have NOT experienced that here from any STM/TTMs in TTGP--it's just something I've experienced a lot IRL (like from my sister for instance, who I probably talk too much shit on in here lol).

Yes, I'm TTC. Yes, I know my life will change (if I ever get KU etc.). But I am in my mid-30s and have definitely experienced emotions, severe sleep difficulties, and stress even though I currently don't have kids. And I find these comments really hurtful BOTH to people struggling with IF as well as people who purposely decide not to have children.

lund · June 2017

@pebbledam I generally love all animals, but most of the dogs I find annoying are labs and golden retrievers. This could be because these dogs had irresponsible owners who didn't train or exercise them enough. I've also purposely never owned a super high energy dog because that ish gets old and eventually I'm just like CALM THE EFF DOOOWWWWWWWWWWN.

@vflux33 yeah that stuff is total bullshit. We're not stupid, we realize that being a parent is difficult, but not currently being a parent doesn't invalidate all of our life experience thus far.

eggplantface · June 2017

@vflux33 Yeah, that's sanctimommy bullshit. Just because you were up with a child last night does not make me any less exhausted, so yes, I get to complain too. I don't think you'll find that a UO around here!

Ooooo in that vein, let's see how U this O is: Having a dog IS like having a child. Not exactly like having one, but it will prepare you for eventual parenthood. Except eventually your child will be able to wipe his own ass, while I will have to pick up my dog's crap for his entire life. So really...it's harder. ;P

vflux33 · June 2017

@lund Yes, EXACTLY.

@eggplantface Good to know! I never know how U my Os really are. I admit I do try to strike a balance here and not share any Os here that I know are really, really U because I don't want to offend people or be shunned lol.

Also I think cats count too, as moody teenagers.

laurad75 · June 2017

@yayglitter I totally agree on Chipotle – I thought it was gross even before they poisoned Boston

@vflux33 The worst is when mom’s say ‘oh we’re boring you talking about your kids’. So condescending.

I love dogs but irresponsible owners drive me nuts. I HATE flexi-leashes - if your dog is 10+ feet ahead of you, you have no control over them!

lund · June 2017

vflux33 said:

*SNIP*
@eggplantface Good to know! I never know how U my Os really are. I admit I do try to strike a balance here and not share any Os here that I know are really, really U because I don't want to offend people or be shunned lol.

.... now I really want to hear these UOs

pebbledam · June 2017

@vflux33 - see @lund's response for how I feel about that ish.
@lund, @laurad75 - Irresponsible owners are mostly to blame, I'm sure, but I'm struggling even with the lab I currently live with. He's gotten soooo much better until someone comes new comes over. And he's constantly running over DSS, not that DSS minds because he adores that dumb dog.
@laurad75 - I used a retractable leash with my last dog (8 pound chi/pug mix), but honestly those are only good for little dogs (and only if you don't let the dog run 10 feet ahead of you).
@eggplantface - Dogs are hard work!

lund · June 2017

@eggplantface totally agree that having dogs is like having kids. Like you said, not exactly like having kids, but you're still responsible for another living thing and have to keep it alive. I can't speak for every pet parent, but a portion of our (DH and I) lives are certainly tailored around our pets. I thinks it's good human-parent training!

vflux33 · June 2017

@lund No, I really can't. I have some judgmental ones and there are 1 or 2 I have that will 100% offend or alienate people here who I genuinely like chatting with and I'm not willing to do that UNLESS you'd accept non public UO PMs.

But I will dig deep and see if I can find something slightly more offensive for next week, just to please you.

pebbledam · June 2017

@vflux33 - You tease....

Image: https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oLQ_HS9okls/VeOFPtT7ikI/AAAAAAAAC0s/J7krLJX_B4s/s1600/TEase_zpsyiafpsna.GIF

Avrilmai · June 2017

@vflux33 Preach! yes totally agree. my SIL does that "just wait" and "it's so hard" crap all of the time. ALSO, I completely agree with @lund now I REALLY want to know. I think @pebbledam (is it weird that I still think morando as I type your name?) said it best...TEASE.

@eggplantface I agree about the dog. We have to be home in time to feed and walk and have to make arrangements for them if we plan to go out of town. They wake us up in the middle of the night, etc. It is nice that I can leave them home alone.
I guess I don't really have an opinion on labs because I haven't had much interaction with them, but the tiny yippy dogs drive me nuts.

elisek · June 2017

@yayglitter - Yes! Chipotle is fine, I guess, but it's nothing special. I like Pancheros and there is one 5 min from work. But three coworkers go to chipotle together about once a month even though it's 15 min away and requires parking downtown on meters. I usually have to cover the phones and door when they do this trip and they ALWAYS end up taking more than our given hour break. Just go to pancheros!

UO: I think fake eyelashes nearly always look terrible. I was at a wedding recently and could barely keep up a conversation with the bride because her lashes were so distracting. In general I think heavy eye makeup has an aging look for anyone over ~23.

charlestonchew · June 2017

Hmm trying to think of an interesting UO. I much prefer silver/platinum/white gold over yellow gold. To me, yellow gold looks dirty and I'm not sure why I feel that way. No offense meant to people who have special jewelry that are yellow gold.

vflux33 · June 2017

@elisek Yeah, false eyelashes look like spiders to me. If they were more subtle, maybe, but they never are.

@charlestonchew I agree. Also platinum bends less-- I feel like I don't have to be as careful about it getting misshapen over time.

Cricket648 · June 2017

@laurad75 I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels strongly about flexi-leads! They're seriously a pet peeve of mine. When we first got our dog, she was reactive to other dogs. She's not anymore, becasue we've worked really hard on training her, but it would drive me nuts whenever we ran into someone with a dog on a flexi-lead who would inevitably look at my barking dog and go, "Don't worry, he's friendly"! I always wanted to tell them that just becasue their dog is friendly, it doesn't mean that every other dog is friendly, so get your dog under control!

jenotontx · June 2017

On a similar note to @charlestonchew I have absolutely no interest owning a lab created diamond. I want the ones that came out of the earth under natural circumstances. I know they look exactly the same and no one would know... but I know. Does it make me sad to think of the impact owning a potential blood diamond has... absolutely. Does that stop me from wanting diamonds? Nope.

And just to be even worse of a human I also like real fur.

theoryofwhat · June 2017

@elisek
Are they hipsters? 95% of Chipotlers are hipsters.
Also, I made up that statistic buuuut still, a lot of their patrons are of that sort.
Never heard of Pancheros, but it already sounds better than Chipotle.

The eye makeup thing, I completely agree. I think it's even worse when there is glitter eye makeup involved. It gets in creases, and it's just bad.

doxiemoxie212 · June 2017

@yayglitter haha hipsters where? hipsters in NYC and SF (where I am most frequently) are certainly not patrons of Chipotle...

theoryofwhat · June 2017

@doxiemoxie212
Texas, DFW area.
It's their go-to place here, but that may be because we don't really have the same kind of food and entertainment districts as NYC or SF. Could be more of a lack of options thing, or your hipsters out-hipster mine.

elisek · June 2017

@yayglitter absolutely not hipsters. they are between 35 and 60 and each live in rural areas about 20-30 miles from our place of employment. Very conservative in all applications of the term. Two are accountants, which seems like one of the least hipster jobs ever. For anonymity (why did I use my real first name here?!) I can't really say the industry, but I'd be very surprised if a hipster was drawn to this type of employment.

laurad75 · June 2017

@cricket648 ‘He’s friendly!’ is the worst and I often will yell back ‘Mine’s not!’. My dog isn’t aggressive but she gets growly when she’s uncomfortable and that can set another dog off.

pebbledam · June 2017

@JJMNO1616 - I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I don't know why anyone would want to spend that much money on jewelry unless they were filthy rich and it didn't make a dent in their bank account.

catlady1215 · June 2017

I'm going to chime in with the eyelashes. I don't mind eyelash extensions etc that look *mostly* natural. What bothers me is the younique sellers that pile on that mascara stuff they push and it looks like they have 5 eyelashes cause they're all clumped together. That doesn't look good. Yet everyone is commenting on the pics on how good it looks.

... if there's any younique sellers in here, this isn't about the products themselves. But about the few sellers I see on my social media... that I think are just not doing it right and the people commenting.

jenotontx · June 2017

@catlady1215 NO it's totally the mascara!! I bought that Younique mascara and sent it right back. It was super clumpy and looked so weird to me.

@pebbledam I hear you... we certainly have lots of other more important things to spend our money on, which I guess is why my engagement ring is really the only real diamon I own. I also have these small diamond earrings but I have no idea if they were lab made or not. I would love to eventually own a new pair of diamond stud earrings at some point though.

doxiemoxie212 · June 2017

I think fake eyelashes get a bad rap. They shouldn't look fake if they're applied correctly (and you're not using tacky ridiculous ones). In fact, I think they often look way more natural than mascara would because there's no clumping. Exhibit A:

Image: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fa/75/af/fa75af16a7c7fdadb317ce337058f19e.jpg

That said, I don't wear them because I have oddly ridic lashes naturally.

vflux33 · June 2017

@JJMNO1616 I don't wear fur, but I do wear leather, which isn't much different. And I definitely have a real (probably blood) diamond too. We got engaged at the height of the recession and MH got a good deal (joke's on us because he was actually laid off a few weeks later, but we kept it). I don't wear or buy a lot of fancy jewelry, but it's an engagement ring. I love it. Fuck it. It's not like I buy blood diamond necklaces every day.

petethecat · June 2017

I'm with you @vflux33. I can't stand moms who make comments like, "Oh, you don't understand what being tired/afraid/in love/whatever until you have kids is." Like, just stop. It reeks of superiority and makes me feel icky. It also assumes that they know the totality of someone else's existence, which is impossible. *TW* Like, maybe you don't sleep because you had a loss or you got a devastating IF diagnosis (that you maybe don't talk to everyone about) and you just cry all night. That's probably pretty fucking exhausting. Or, maybe you are afraid that you may never be able to have a biological child at all. Or you are scared of sex with your partner because it makes you think of your loss/IF/the number of times that you have had sex that didn't result in a baby, etc. TW* Those feelings are real and raw too and just because they don't come from what someone else deems the epitome of emotional enlightenment, based on their own existence, doesn't make them any less legit.
Also, I'm really really curious about your defcon 1 UOs. I feel like mostly everyone gets a pass for what they say on UO Thursday anyways. Really unpopular opinions intrigue me! I want to know!

@Avrilmai Same thing- like, the "just you wait" comments and the "you'll see." It sounds like, "Oh, I know way more than you because I'm a mom and you're not." Objectively, I think when someone says, "Oh, you don't understand," they are speaking more to the fact that they themselves did not understand the extent of what things were going to be like before it happened to them. I feel like it usually comes from a place of wanting someone else to recognize their struggle with whatever you "couldn't possibly understand." KWIM? Like, I feel like they are really saying, "Holy crap I just went through this shit with my kid and it was fucking real and it (the tiredness, fear, depression, anxiety, etc.) knocked me on my ass because I wasn't expecting it and I need someone to appreciate or recognize that." Again though, I feel like people need to be careful with sounding too sanctimonious because there are women who would give anything to be up all night with a baby, etc, and I feel like making those comments without recognizing that is really irresponsible.

I think that having a dog is totally good kid prep for someone who isn't used to taking care of another living thing. Mine are total PIAs and wake me up MOTN more than DD at this point.

@catlady1215 I didn't know what younique was, so I googled it. None of those pictures look good. None.

I love chipotle.

I hate flexi leashes and I don't love little yappy prurse dogs. At all.

I have a lab and I love him. He's actually pretty smart and knows the difference between left and right. He's old and lazy though and pretty much does nothing these days.

elisek · June 2017

I have a blue sapphire engagement ring and white sapphire wedding band and I hate diamonds. Mostly because of the manipulated, false market. I think it's much easier these days to make sure you're not getting a blood diamond, I just hate the artificially high prices when there are a gazillion diamonds locked away in the debeers vault. Also, as anyone paying attention could see, most of my decisions are based on money!

Avrilmai · June 2017

@kbamomma33 I totally get what you mean, I guess I just wish they would actually say this:

kbamomma33 said:

*snip*
KWIM? Like, I feel like they are really saying, "Holy crap I just went through this shit with my kid and it was fucking real and it (the tiredness, fear, depression, anxiety, etc.) knocked me on my ass because I wasn't expecting it and I need someone to appreciate or recognize that."

let's be real about it and have an honest conversation. This is the kind of stuff that I want moms to share with me

Also, I've never had chipotle...we have several I've just never been don't plan to either.

jenotontx · June 2017

You guys I totally want Chipotle after work for dinner now.

mschanandlerbong1214 · June 2017

This may be more appropriate for FFFC but I'll put it here since it seems to be a UO.

There is not a tired like parent tired. It's a whole different level of exhaustion that unless you're a parent you really can only get an idea of. BUT! That being said my mom tired doesn't diminish anyone else's exhaustion! I don't ever use it to make my life seem harder than anyone else's. It was my choice to have kids and I knew full well it was going to be exhausting. I just didnt understand the exhaustion until I got there. I hope that makes sense.

jsnakehole · June 2017

My engagement ring and wedding band have small diamonds on the band and halo, but the center stone is morganite (and the bands themselves are rose gold). My set came from Etsy.

I hate it, not only when parents say that I don't understand X/Y/Z because I'm not a parent, but also when they try to tell me something about child development and act like they know so much more than me. It's my JOB to know child development things like milestones. Literally my job.

vflux33 · June 2017

@mschanandlerbong1214 I definitely didn't mean to imply that mom tired isn't its own beast--I'm sure it is. And I don't want to discredit or belittle that.

That said, I have a sleep/anxiety disorder, which thankfully, I'm managing currently, but at its worst, I went 10 days without sleeping more than an hour (accumulated 1 hour over 10 days, as opposed to one hour per night). I was in a really intense professional degree program back then, which was the best timing ever. I was delirious and seeing multiple doctors and uncontrollably bursting into tears by day 10. I could be wrong, but although waking up every 2 hours for BFing and running after toddlers may be a different type of exhaustion--and a severe one at that, I doubt that I personally will be in worse shape (if I'm lucky enough to get there, etc) than I was at the end of that 10th day in part because at least then I'd know my exhaustion was for a good reason. So I don't know about the whole "level" thing because that implies a hierarchy of tired and that's what feels belittling, at least to me. But as long as you're not going around telling people they don't know what tired means, if it feels that way to you, then you have every right to feel that way.

doxiemoxie212 · June 2017

@vflux33 yeah, I agree. I think for most people without sleep disorders or something crazy like that, being a new parent is probably the first time they've experienced that level of tired, so it feels super new (I know my mom says she literally didn't even know when she was pregnant with me that babies don't sleep through the night, lol haha I never ever did). I struggled with insomnia for most of middle school, high school and college, so IDK, I don't think sleep deprivation would feel new for me - though most certainly would feel awful. That said, frustration on top of it? Added stress? All the other things and responsibilities that come with having kids? Sure, that could add a component on top of it that makes it worse. Hopefully we'll all get to find out how (terrible?) it really is!

mschanandlerbong1214 · June 2017

@vflux33 I totally get that. I'm bipolar and when I'm manic I can go days without sleep too. It's effing intense and horrible.

Because I don't know everyone's personal sleep battles is exactly why I don't tout my exhaustion. It's not harder or worse to be a tired parent. Just different.

Cricket648 · June 2017

@mschanandlerbong1214 I totally get where you're coming from, I'm sure parenting is a whole new kind of exhaustion for many people. I think the main reason I get annoyed when people say things like that is becasue I feel like it overlooks the fact that different people have different experiences. I know plenty of people who are exhausted for other reasons (chronic illness, insomnia, working nights, chemo) who have said that they've never experienced an exhaustion quite like that, too. I actually have no problem when people say, " I've never experienced an exhaustion quite like parent exhaustion" I just don't like it when people say things like, "You won't truly understand exhaustion until you're a parent."

vflux33 · June 2017

Cricket648 said:

**snip**

I actually have no problem when people say, " I've never experienced an exhaustion quite like parent exhaustion" I just don't like it when people say things like, "You won't truly understand exhaustion until you're a parent."

^^ Yes, 1,000 times this!

mschanandlerbong1214 · June 2017

vflux33 said:

Cricket648 said:

**snip**

I actually have no problem when people say, " I've never experienced an exhaustion quite like parent exhaustion" I just don't like it when people say things like, "You won't truly understand exhaustion until you're a parent."

^^ Yes, 1,000 times this!

Exactly! That is just a shitty thing to say because no one knows every aspect of everyone life!

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