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November 2017 Moms
ineedsixeggs
member
SAHM sound off
ineedsixeggs
member
Inspired by the mat leave poll, I just wanted to hear from those of you who either stay at home, or plan to after baby. Part time SAHMs and work from home moms also welcome!
1. What is/was your current/previous profession?
2. What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM (for future SAHMs, what are you most looking forward to)?
3. What is your least favorite thing about being a SAHM (future SAHMs- what are you most anxious about)?
4. What do you do (or plan to do) to maintain social interaction/sanity?
5. Do you feel supported or isolated by your decision?
Re: SAHM sound off
I'm very lucky to have other mom friends with similar aged children, so we get them together often. We also trade off each other's kids so having extra kids around keeps DS distracted so I don't have to constantly entertain him.
My most recent profession before going on bed rest with DD was a contract administrator at a printing company.
My favorite thing about being a SAHM is that I didn't miss any of the big milestones and I got to record them for DH if he was at work.
My least favorite thing about being a SAHM is feeling like since I'm home 24/7 my chores should be getting done but then I feel guilty about not spending as much time with DD as I would like.
I will be 100% honest and say I'm a complete introvert but for DD she needs that interaction so during the winter we go to the library story time, church playgroups or the playground in the mall. When the weather gets nice we go to the park.
My MIL was a stay at home mom so he actually kind of encouraged me. I thought my dad would have a fit because I'm not using my degree I spent $60000 on but he seems to like that I found something that I'm good at. (his words)
I agree with @baycamp and @MKmandeville and feeling like I have to choose between spending quality time with DD or fulfilling the expectations of all the chores I should have done for a perfect home.
Neither really. I don't feel supported or isolated by anyone in general although sometimes I feel like I should be doing more than I am and contributing to the income.
honestly, lately I feel more isolated than anything. As I said if I was able to do things ( like get her hair cut, go away for a few days, legally leave her with a babysitter) I think things would be different. Also if children's aid wasn't so fucking frustrating all the time then I would be less angry in general and I think I'd enjoy my time with her a lot more.
I also feel like this whole post I wrote is pretty jaded negatively because I'm having a rough day with her and with children's aid. I'm feeling resentful of her in this moment, but I know that the reality is that I do love staying with her it's just a hard day today.
2. I love being there for all his life events and milestones! He only does new things once, and then they're not new anymore, so I definitely feel very blessed to get to witness all of them as they happen.
3. Sometimes I feel like I need me time. It feels like I never have time to myself since I'm always with him, but now that he's getting older, my husband is able to care for him for longer periods of time (no longer breastfeeding) so I can go out and enjoy myself.
4. We are part of a MOM's group at our church which provides nursery once a week so we moms can do Bible study. We also play at the Mommy and Me group there once a week. Now that it's summer, our friends from the neighborhood are home all the time (she is a teacher) so we go to the pool with them. Also, my family lives close, so we can go see them whenever we want as well.
5. Definitely supported! My husband has always known that I wanted to be a SAHM, and my mom lives in town which is a huge help. His parents also live here, so we have an abundance of babysitters for date nights or doctor's appointments.
1. What is/was your current/previous profession? I was a vet tech.
I was really enjoying a Mom & Me work out class, until one of them got super pushy with their Essential Oils and I had to start avoiding them.
Early morning yoga helps me set my mood for the day but I have not been able to get up early enough before my toddler to keep up with it during this pregnancy.
I haven't felt judged; I'm supported by DH etc. We want our kids to have lots of time with us, especially as infants and young toddlers. If some friend, relative, or acquaintance has some feelings then they've hid them really well but then again they know I DGAF what they think.
All the time you get to spend with your child.
All the time you get to spend with your child. I am joking, but the limited adult interaction can get to you.
Library children groups and late coffee with friends.
Both. My DH is fantastic but have gotten a lot of flack by others. I think though the people who were judgemental also were ones who wishes their circumstances were different so they could stay home.
My husband has been so amazingly supportive. He has worked his tail off to let me choose to be at home, and he supported me starting to work outside the home again a bit, and he is supporting me going back to school and getting a second degree to go back to work in a few years when I am finished with school.
My favorite part was not missing special moments and also being able to have my son on a schedule.
My fiance will support whatever I decide I want to do.
I love being home with my kids and not having to deal with office drama or politics. I also hate most people. I love being there for all the new experiences and new skills and it's awesome to be able to watch them grow up.
Largely yes. My mom was a SAHM, my MIL was a SAHM who ran a daycare out of her house, so they are supportive and understand my desire to stay home. Every so often some shmuck thinks they have an opinion worth sharing, but I usually just give them a bland expression and ignore them.
Being a mom is hard, and anyone who tells you differently has no clue. My house isn't as clean as it "should" be, but my kids are fed, healthy and happy.
2. My favorite things are the flexibility (i.e. Not worrying about arranging childcare when my DH travels) and being a constant presence in my kids' lives.
3. My least favorite aspect is the falling that it ALL depends on me. My 4 year old doesn't hold the pencil properly? My fault for not teaching him. The house isn't clean? I'm the one who was here and should have done it. Behavior problems? On me. Bad food habits? Probably me. This is a feeling that I put on myself, but it's legit.
4. We are involved in a mom's group and have several friends in the neighborhood who stay home. We also go to the YMCA every day, so the kids get 2 hours of interaction with other kids each day.
5. I feel supported. Sometimes I feel like I'd like to go back to work, that I'd be a better mom if I did, but I know that I would feel guilt if I went in that direction, too. It's too hard with my husbands crazy travel schedule anyway.
Supported. My husband was the one that initially encouraged me to be a SAHM, and both of our families view it as a situation where if you can afford to do, do it. I sometimes feel really guilty because I somehow feel lazy because I'm not earning money to contribute but I felt even worse when I went back to full time work for a while!
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Both. Depends on the day and what mood I'm in. There's the financial stress and feeling like we're losing that income, but then there's the reality we'd be losing it in other ways anyway and the reality that I'll have more time to take care of our family with cooking and couponing so hopefully that will lower some current expenses. I know it probably won't completely make up for it, but my new "job" will be our household budget. DH and I had planned on me being a SAHM pre marriage but then life happened and he got a little iffier so it's kinda a "bite the bullet" for us cause it was the original plan and I still want it and ultimately he does too, it just lands a lot of financial burden on him in the providing area that he finds stressful. I do hate that.
ETA: Other: Any input on what y'all did insurance-wise. Health insurance for me and baby (and eventually DD) is massively expensive on his plan. Any thirds party recs?
Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012
TTC#1 since June 2015
June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN
July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN
August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying"
October 2016- We became licensed foster parents
November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo
March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
Right now I am in potty training hell. My son is super stubborn, but ready. He just wants to fight everything. It's actually going okay, but being mostly in charge of it sucks. DH is really good about taking over when he gets home though, bless that man.
Both. Sometimes it can feel very isolating, but I have a great support network so if I feel isolated, it's usually my own fault.
Married 9-19-2009
Baby Karrot 2.0 - 6.25.2015 - He's here! Via VBAC @ 36 weeks.
Supported for sure!!
Married: 11/2013
"Q" DS1: 3/2011
"T" DS2: 10/2012
"A" DD: 1/2014
EDD #4: 11/26/2017
1. What is/was your current/previous profession?
I also specialised in formal and bridal and do customs as a seamstress.
I'm an illustrator and do sell commissions infrequently
And my in between staple income of 12 years is as a model
And burlesque/exotic dancer the last 4
So I work from home anyway
Looking forward to it . Like I don't know that I'll know the difference not coming from a conventional job . I suppose I'll like being less lonely or isolated sometimes it's like I do t get to talk to anyone all week
most concerned that I won't cope on my own we are moving this year . Buying a house, great timing hey lol . We will be 2 hours away from both families. So not too far to visit every week but too far to just duck in on a random day
I often feel isolated anyway . I have a lot of anxiety about the move and baby all together with my income being self generated and family support being too far . I also worry about the pressure this will add to my husband and his working life and financial obligations and it will in a way isolate him in obligations
But he cannot conceive of me just dropping it and getting a normal job .
I think it's hard because with the pregnancy I loose my main income as I loose my body . And my body confidence which I've never struggled with
I don't feel judged anyone I know who matters and who has kids wouldn't think twice about it i know if my sister could afford stay home she would . And she'd probably have #4 . The only people I know who wouldn't give up their career shy of financial need are self employed and kind of full time stay home mum and full time working . And doing what they truly love with both. At least I know it's possible . Its Not easy but if you just do what you're passionate about its life and not really work so you have more in you to give
Wedding/event planner
I love that I don't feel like I'm missing any milestones, big or small. They're only little once and I love that I get to be with him all day.
Going a little stir crazy, especially when baby is cranky lol.
Mom friends with kids similar ages, mommy and me play groups, going to the park, and I'm very lucky I hang out with my mom and sister a lot.
supported.
2. I love being able to spend every second of the day with my daughter. On my days off, I take her to do fun things and I really enjoy the one on one time I get with her.
3. Cleaning ALL DAY
4. My best friend lives 2 streets over so we see eachother a lot. Plus, since I watch my friends kids I get to see my friends at drop off and pick up times
5. Supported for sure. For me, it's nice that I still get to make a little money with staying home with my kids.