Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: June IVF
I won't have all the details for a couple of weeks- I was hoping to have a retrieval before the end of June, but looks like it won't be until July.
Bah, the waiting is the hardest part of this!
i am 32 and DH is 36.. We did our first IVF cycle last July/Aug and it failed. We didn't have any embabies left to freeze. Tried clomid and IUI a couple cycles since. We just switched REs and will be starting IVF #2 in early June (my cycle is due May 31st) with egg retrieval likely falling around the 2nd week of June. We are doing PGS testing this time and a SET in July/Aug (depending on my cycle).
I love our new RE and he slightly changed my protocol so hopefully we can get those ovaries producing.
Background is mostly in the signature below, but I'm always on mobile so I can't see it either:
Me 39.5 (40 in October), DH 42
Married last June, *TW* natural BFP with July cycle, MC @11w5d in October
IVF#1 - antagonist - 12R, 7M and ICSI'd, 3F, 0B (one morula at day 7, nothing to test)
IVF#2 - luteal lupron w/o OCP - 10R, 8M, 8F (5 IVF, 3 ICSI), 6B, 1 PGS normal
Primed with Androgel (testosterone) and used Omnitrope (HGH) for both cycles.
I've been taking lupron for suppression and testosterone priming again for IVF#3. I just had my baseline u/s this morning (4+4 which is normal for me), and now I'm just waiting on AF to start stims the later of this Monday or CD2. This will be my first cycle after a full 3 months on a ton of supplements so I am wondering if I'll see any difference.
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
for those not taking bcp, are you using protection for sex? Once I have my meds delivered my insurance company counts it as an ivf cycle...... just in case I'm a special snowflake...
overall im super nervous about ivf. We will be transferring one fresh and freezing the rest for pgs.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
Try not to be nervous! The prescriptive part is pretty easy to just take day by day, it's the waiting that is excruciating.
Edit: I did start stimming last night as planned. ER should be 6/2 or 6/3, assuming all goes well.
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
@bionerdsteph gl
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
@SP128 No protection recommend for us but bc of MFI there is pretty much no chance so we might be a different case.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
It's sad that this process seems so familiar now... hope everyone else is doing okay! I know it's not June yet, but this board seemed so quiet.
Hope this cycle is the one for you!
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
I start my first IVF cycle this month. I'm a bit nervous with all the tracking and monitoring. I thought I was obsessed with IUIs. This will be even more to keep track of. Just waiting for AF to start. She seems to be arriving gradually as we speak. Hurry up!
Sorry for the newbie questions, but for those doing egg retrieval, did your RE put you on birth control to give you time to get situated?
me 36 | him 42 | married 5/2016
Nov 2016 dx male infertility - intermittent azoospermia during intercourse & unexplained
• Dec 2016 - IUI #1 | cd 30/10 dpiui: BFP | 8w4d: MC by D&C due to blighted ovum
• April 2017 - IUI #3, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• May 2017 - IUI #4, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• June 2017 - IVF #1, 5 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized, 2 high quality blasts chillin'. During retrieval, Dr. had to go through my uterus so we switched from fresh transfer to frozen. Giving my uterus a full cycle to heal.
• August/September 2017 - Natural FET #1, transferred one day 5/6 embryo on Sept 3rd, Beta #1 171, Beta #2 402.6 | Saw heartbeat at 6 weeks, 3 days | BFP
• April 2017 - Baby Boy Beckett was born.
• August 2019 - FET, transferred one day 5/6 embryo | BFP
• December 2019 - Diagnosed with low AFI of 3.41 on 12/3, cause unknown. No tear in membranes, no issues with Baby Girl. On bedrest.
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
me 36 | him 42 | married 5/2016
Nov 2016 dx male infertility - intermittent azoospermia during intercourse & unexplained
• Dec 2016 - IUI #1 | cd 30/10 dpiui: BFP | 8w4d: MC by D&C due to blighted ovum
• April 2017 - IUI #3, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• May 2017 - IUI #4, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• June 2017 - IVF #1, 5 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized, 2 high quality blasts chillin'. During retrieval, Dr. had to go through my uterus so we switched from fresh transfer to frozen. Giving my uterus a full cycle to heal.
• August/September 2017 - Natural FET #1, transferred one day 5/6 embryo on Sept 3rd, Beta #1 171, Beta #2 402.6 | Saw heartbeat at 6 weeks, 3 days | BFP
• April 2017 - Baby Boy Beckett was born.
• August 2019 - FET, transferred one day 5/6 embryo | BFP
• December 2019 - Diagnosed with low AFI of 3.41 on 12/3, cause unknown. No tear in membranes, no issues with Baby Girl. On bedrest.
Also because I'm AMA and sort of subscribe to Dr. Sher's theory of too much endogenous testosterone being bad for egg quality, and the luteal lupron addresses that. Second cycle we tried luteal lupron and ended up with 6 blasts (from 5 IVF, 3 ICSI of 10 retrieved), but only one normal. We think maybe our embryos just don't like IVF. And yes, I trigger with a single dose of Ovidrel.
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
*TW* I got pregnant on my first IUI so they have every reason to believe that it will work. It didn't end as I had hoped but I am ready to get this show on the road!!
me 36 | him 42 | married 5/2016
Nov 2016 dx male infertility - intermittent azoospermia during intercourse & unexplained
• Dec 2016 - IUI #1 | cd 30/10 dpiui: BFP | 8w4d: MC by D&C due to blighted ovum
• April 2017 - IUI #3, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• May 2017 - IUI #4, 100mg Clomid (cd 3-7) | BFN
• June 2017 - IVF #1, 5 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilized, 2 high quality blasts chillin'. During retrieval, Dr. had to go through my uterus so we switched from fresh transfer to frozen. Giving my uterus a full cycle to heal.
• August/September 2017 - Natural FET #1, transferred one day 5/6 embryo on Sept 3rd, Beta #1 171, Beta #2 402.6 | Saw heartbeat at 6 weeks, 3 days | BFP
• April 2017 - Baby Boy Beckett was born.
• August 2019 - FET, transferred one day 5/6 embryo | BFP
• December 2019 - Diagnosed with low AFI of 3.41 on 12/3, cause unknown. No tear in membranes, no issues with Baby Girl. On bedrest.
Are bcp the norm? I'm trying to figure out if they are trying to do as little estrogen as possible for me of if it's generally not given if ur cycle is predictable enough.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
AFM, really hoping that tonight's my last night of stims! Tomorrow morning's monitoring appointment will tell...
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
@bionerdsteph I don't get a period on my own usually and so far the bcp hasn't been too suppressing, so that's what we do. Good luck with your medication education! It felt like a lot of info at first but you get the hang of it
Apparently my follicles are growing more at a 1.5mm/day rate this cycle than 2mm/day. I a little wonder if I screwed anything up not stopping inositol for my first week of stims (last cycle I stopped when I started stims), but can't do anything about that now. RE says she's okay with up to 12 nights of stims (10 was the most I'd done before but tonight will be 11). Ovaries feeling heavy and the left one twingey, and I'm ready to be done with this (whenever eggs are as ready as they'll be)!
@Aera11 What's your timing looking like?
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
Since it is officially June i guess its time to move over from May IVF to June IVF yay!! IVF cycle #7 and hopefully the last one!! See some familiar faces hoping ur break will be you success this month. And look forward to catching up and meeting the rest of you!!
For those that dont know me my cycles are in my spoiler box. I was fortunate enough to get my fist BFP even in Nov 2016 with IVF 3 via a fresh transfer. I also (TW) MC my angel in Jan 2017 (10 weeks) Still dont have the answers as to why. Had an US earlier and they were both perfectly strong and healthy until they were not. (TW over) So now I am banking a few cycles with PGS testing so that I can hopefully have more then one child down the road. Time is also not on my side so banking feels like it was to be now or never.
This is my 4th ivf cycle back to back...have been through March, April, May and now June. Funny my birthday is March and that cycle only brought me abnormal embryos. I'm lucky that April and May bought me 2 each so now I have 4 normal frosties in waiting for me...all the same gender REALLY!!! Even without knowing that I was already stemming this cycle before my May results came in and was always going with another cycle. SO heres hoping for the best!! I always want 5/6 normies before moving on to an FET...so hopefully I will get there with this cycle...not to sure after my follow up today.
I'm did a few days of estrogen priming with an antagonist protocol. Today is day 4 and I'm off to a slow start. I have one 1 follie on the right (7) and 3 on the left (9,7 and 6.) Luckily I dont have to go back till sun for BW and US. I feel like that appt will probably be the indicator as to how things are looking. I have low amh so for me its always quality over quantity but its still nerve racking and super expensive being OOP!
artemis618 looks like you're getting close thats exciting!! i just started a whole bunch of different vitamins today so hoping they can help make some super babies
@Aera11 hey twin ur definitely looking great and ahead of me! My E2 was 41 today so my body definitely has some work to do!! Hopefully the rest of urs will catch up to the 13!! When do u go back?
bionerdsteph After my MC I asked about the estrogen priming BUT my levels were always fine so they didn't think I really needed it. I believe they usually look at your levels and thats the indicator. Hope ur appt went well.
Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN
IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle
IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F, 3DT)-BFP
IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal :'(
IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!!
IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!!
IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!
@Hopeful_mom welcome to June! And you're amazing, four back-to-back cycles is intense in so many ways. This is my third since February and I can't even believe that. I am crossing my fingers so hard for you round! I didn't know you knew all the genders of your frosties! I usually start slowly too, it's like my body needs a jump start to get the ball rolling haha. I'll go back tomorrow for another u/s & blood...my insurance capped out mid-cycle this time, so I pay $232 each day, literally makes me want to cry but if this works...I am sure I won't ever regret that!
@Hopeful_mom Hopefully this is it for you! Your persistence and stamina are amazing. I'm feeling pretty over all this after three cycles and am *probably* done after this. Even though it's only been three cycles, with the lupron I've been on some sort of medication every cycle this year, and IVF just doesn't seem to agree with our embryos that much. Plus with this cycle and going forward we're OOP (except meds, thankfully - which certainly helps!). But we'll see. Also, I'm just about out of that acupuncture coverage (20 visit cap) for the year as well!
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
We had an IVF orientation today, and we shelled out a few thousand dollars for the drugs, which I put on a line of credit. Now, my fridge and a cupboard are full of FSH (stims) and some antagonist - they'll have me on orgalutran (Ganirelix).
I'll start birth control next week, and will be on that for three weeks before we start stimulation.
All through the orientation, I was so irritated about the scheduling. I was irritated that we couldn't have done this last month - that I'm not on birth control now. I was pretty forthcoming with my doctor's assistant that I wanted to start ASAP, but she wanted me to wait for his schedule to be clear (and to make sure my IUI hadn't worked) to move on, and then we had to wait for a nurse to be free for the orientation, etc. etc. Part of me is grateful we're moving on, or thinks it was good for my body to have a month off after my last clomid cycle, but part of me is so annoyed. Like, I feel like my patience has been tested a little too far.
And my H, he wasn't annoyed at all. Now that we're spending $15,000 he's really sitting up and paying attention - he wants to mix medications and help me with injections. Like, he's less pissed off by my clinic than I am, and thinks we should just focus on the future. But I can't help but think: "Oh, now you want to help?!" Like, I'm annoyed with him and my clinic. I'm annoyed that I've been trying so hard for so long, with nothing to show for it.
Then I feel guilty, because he's a good guy and I love him and he's just trying to help, and the reality of the situation is that women have to do all the heavy lifting of fertility and infertility - them's the breaks. I just wish I weren't so resentful about it!
Anyway, this cartoon felt especially apt today:
I see my DH drinking beer and having coffee (even decaf/half caf) and it makes me feel like he's not taking this seriously. I keep reminding him...$15,000!! But that also makes me not want to do another cycle.
Unfortunately, there is a lot of hurry up and wait with this process
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
Gah. I know I'm probably just being impatient, but my God! Every woman going through IF has the patience of a saint, you know?
Some days are easier than others, and all of it is an awful slog!
FX you have great, great, blow-em-outta the water eggs at your ER
I'm glad your DH wants to help though.
What frustrates me with the clinic and I'm sure it is common is that they are not in our shoes. When things don't start when we want it (ASAP!!), then it could mean waiting another cycle.
@artemis618 Good luck this cycle. Hope the ER goes well : ) I have no clue what follicles need to be how large and what the growth rate should be since this is my first cycle. I'm rooting for you : )
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
My estradiol was ~4400 yesterday, and I had blood drawn again this morning - this will be the first cycle I'll know what my E2 was on trigger day (last two cycles I only got the numbers from the days before).
Really excited about only two more shots after...61(edit: an extra b/c I was short 75iu of gonal from overfill last night) shots so far this cycle (I had to count!) and to get this show on the road!
Edit: @SP128 Your user name looks familiar to me - were you on the April 2017 BMB, by chance?
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
I'm in wtf is going on land. Had a saline sonogram on my uterus & they found polyps. I was on a drug that puts me at a higher risk for edometrial cancer so trying to get these out ASAP. The fertility clinic can do it Monday but it wouldn't be covered by insurance so I'm going through my onocologist & normal Gyn group. That's proving to be more difficult, even though my onocologist gave me a urgent referral of 5-7 days for an appointment. They tried to give me June 27th & just NO. Now I'm insisting on next week- they had agreed to that but said they'd have to call me back with an exact appointment. They called me back & said by the end of the month right? I'm starting to feel crazy.
I'd really like to know I don't have cancer again & be able to do IVF as planned but can't get an answer about an appointment, ugh....
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
@bionerdsteph - oh man, how stressful! That's awful! FX you can have the polyps removed ASAP and that they are totally benign... UGH! so sh*tty!
@o0smn0o - welcome!
My H and I share our online calendars with each other. Yesterday, I put my tentative IVF schedule in my calendar.
I was checking something today, and noticed this new little note, above mine:
Touché!
I mean, I'm not someone who is afraid of confrontation on my best days anyway, and I have been extra grouchy lately. So it really made me laugh. Hahaha.
@bionerdsteph Thanks for the wishes. Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that and for the extra insurance stress on top of it
@o0smn0o Welcome!
Learned that my E2 was ~5900 this AM and my RE was going to give me the option to trigger with lupron instead of Ovidrel to reduce OHSS risk...till she realized that I'm on a lupron protocol and can't. Just sort of reinforces how we have to pay attention because other people aren't always (and they're dealing with multiple patients/cycles at once). Edit: DH pointed out that it could have also been baby brain on my RE's part, plus the IVF nurse is out today.
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)