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Upset with high risk pregnancy :/ short cervix and now liver problems

So my first son was born 7 weeks early. They didn't know why my water broke but I had well we thought I had the PUPPS rash it basically looks like chicken pox on your belly and I told my Dr I also had a lot of itching on my hands and he was concerned about possible liver problems and was going to test me 3 days later my little one was here. This time around they wanted me to do progesterone shots and told me my cervix was "oddly shaped" and thin which they though was from my poly cystic ovaries so since 16 weeks I've been getting a shot in my ass once a week and my cervix checked every 2 weeks and it's been steadily getting shorter make me nervous about having to get a cerclage now this last week I was having the intense itching again and told my Dr and she said oh it's probably just from the injections but we'll check you just in case and sure enough I have the liver problem and will need blood drawn every two weeks and need to take medication 3 times a day. And if I don't do all of these things this baby is in danger. I'm just feeling really discouraged and broken... I mean I wanted to be pregnant so bad both times and both times my pregnancies have been so horrible and I just want that pregnancy everyone talks about !!! I don't have the glow and I feel like I'm dying all the time (from all the symptoms) and I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and it just feels like I have to much to worry about and deal with and I'm frustrated that there are women who drink heavily and do drugs and have these easy freaking pregnancy and totally take them for granted and don't take care of their kids and I want all of this and it's like I'm being punished. And I feel bad for saying that I'm just really feel like I'm a broken and don't make babies right like why is all of this bad stuff happening to me ?!?!!?! UHHHHH ! Am I a bad person for feeling this way ?): 

Re: Upset with high risk pregnancy :/ short cervix and now liver problems

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    meggymemeggyme member
    So my first son was born 7 weeks early. They didn't know why my water broke but I had well we thought I had the PUPPS rash it basically looks like chicken pox on your belly and I told my Dr I also had a lot of itching on my hands and he was concerned about possible liver problems and was going to test me 3 days later my little one was here. This time around they wanted me to do progesterone shots and told me my cervix was "oddly shaped" and thin which they though was from my poly cystic ovaries so since 16 weeks I've been getting a shot in my ass once a week and my cervix checked every 2 weeks and it's been steadily getting shorter make me nervous about having to get a cerclage now this last week I was having the intense itching again and told my Dr and she said oh it's probably just from the injections but we'll check you just in case and sure enough I have the liver problem and will need blood drawn every two weeks and need to take medication 3 times a day. And if I don't do all of these things this baby is in danger. I'm just feeling really discouraged and broken... I mean I wanted to be pregnant so bad both times and both times my pregnancies have been so horrible and I just want that pregnancy everyone talks about !!! I don't have the glow and I feel like I'm dying all the time (from all the symptoms) and I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and it just feels like I have to much to worry about and deal with and I'm frustrated that there are women who drink heavily and do drugs and have these easy freaking pregnancy and totally take them for granted and don't take care of their kids and I want all of this and it's like I'm being punished. And I feel bad for saying that I'm just really feel like I'm a broken and don't make babies right like why is all of this bad stuff happening to me ?!?!!?! UHHHHH ! Am I a bad person for feeling this way ?): 
    I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this and that your pregnancies have not been picture perfect. But you won't be pregnant forever, and when you have your baby in your arms I hope it will all have been worth it. Try and trust your medical team and do your best to take care of yourself physically and mentally.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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    meggyme said:
    So my first son was born 7 weeks early. They didn't know why my water broke but I had well we thought I had the PUPPS rash it basically looks like chicken pox on your belly and I told my Dr I also had a lot of itching on my hands and he was concerned about possible liver problems and was going to test me 3 days later my little one was here. This time around they wanted me to do progesterone shots and told me my cervix was "oddly shaped" and thin which they though was from my poly cystic ovaries so since 16 weeks I've been getting a shot in my ass once a week and my cervix checked every 2 weeks and it's been steadily getting shorter make me nervous about having to get a cerclage now this last week I was having the intense itching again and told my Dr and she said oh it's probably just from the injections but we'll check you just in case and sure enough I have the liver problem and will need blood drawn every two weeks and need to take medication 3 times a day. And if I don't do all of these things this baby is in danger. I'm just feeling really discouraged and broken... I mean I wanted to be pregnant so bad both times and both times my pregnancies have been so horrible and I just want that pregnancy everyone talks about !!! I don't have the glow and I feel like I'm dying all the time (from all the symptoms) and I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and it just feels like I have to much to worry about and deal with and I'm frustrated that there are women who drink heavily and do drugs and have these easy freaking pregnancy and totally take them for granted and don't take care of their kids and I want all of this and it's like I'm being punished. And I feel bad for saying that I'm just really feel like I'm a broken and don't make babies right like why is all of this bad stuff happening to me ?!?!!?! UHHHHH ! Am I a bad person for feeling this way ?): 
    I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this and that your pregnancies have not been picture perfect. But you won't be pregnant forever, and when you have your baby in your arms I hope it will all have been worth it. Try and trust your medical team and do your best to take care of yourself physically and mentally.
    My first was definitely worth it all and I know this one will be too I just wish I made babies like everyone else does :/
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    harpseal135harpseal135 member
    edited May 2017
    meggyme said:
    So my first son was born 7 weeks early. They didn't know why my water broke but I had well we thought I had the PUPPS rash it basically looks like chicken pox on your belly and I told my Dr I also had a lot of itching on my hands and he was concerned about possible liver problems and was going to test me 3 days later my little one was here. This time around they wanted me to do progesterone shots and told me my cervix was "oddly shaped" and thin which they though was from my poly cystic ovaries so since 16 weeks I've been getting a shot in my ass once a week and my cervix checked every 2 weeks and it's been steadily getting shorter make me nervous about having to get a cerclage now this last week I was having the intense itching again and told my Dr and she said oh it's probably just from the injections but we'll check you just in case and sure enough I have the liver problem and will need blood drawn every two weeks and need to take medication 3 times a day. And if I don't do all of these things this baby is in danger. I'm just feeling really discouraged and broken... I mean I wanted to be pregnant so bad both times and both times my pregnancies have been so horrible and I just want that pregnancy everyone talks about !!! I don't have the glow and I feel like I'm dying all the time (from all the symptoms) and I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and it just feels like I have to much to worry about and deal with and I'm frustrated that there are women who drink heavily and do drugs and have these easy freaking pregnancy and totally take them for granted and don't take care of their kids and I want all of this and it's like I'm being punished. And I feel bad for saying that I'm just really feel like I'm a broken and don't make babies right like why is all of this bad stuff happening to me ?!?!!?! UHHHHH ! Am I a bad person for feeling this way ?): 
    I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this and that your pregnancies have not been picture perfect. But you won't be pregnant forever, and when you have your baby in your arms I hope it will all have been worth it. Try and trust your medical team and do your best to take care of yourself physically and mentally.
    My first was definitely worth it all and I know this one will be too I just wish I made babies like everyone else does :/

    ----stuck in box-----

    You are making babies like everyone else does...your womb is providing a protective home for him/her to grow and develop to be able to enter this world as healthy as can be.  You are making a baby by providing yourself with the best medical care to get through pregnancy the best you can.

     Unfortunately, though you are experiencing pregnancy developed issues, that not everyone experiences, but there are MANY that do experience your issues, and worse....not that it makes things better for you.

    it's picture perfect in the sense that you are doing your best to have a healthy beautiful child brought into this world, the best that you can as a great mother does for her child.
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    Thank you (: that made me feel better (: 
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