I think birth announcements are cute. I went all-out for my first kid, and grandma guilted me into making them again for spawn 2. I think they are great for family that isn't on Facebook and live farther away.
I was was induced for both babies, and pitocin is awful. I had to have an epi because I'm allergic to commonly used anesthetic drugs and I'm hard to intubate. It was safer to have the epi in case of an emergency. I would not complain, after toughing it out for hours and hours my first labor, it was a miracle drug to get that epi.
My UO is that I don't give a rats ass about Chris Cornell. This is probably more relevant locally because I am from the same area Soundgarden formed. The radio and new sounds has been nothing but about his death.
Oh man... if I get pitocin, all bets are off! That is my biggest fear. Also. If they say the words forceps or vacuum I will be replying with c-section. A surgical scar will heal, but prolapse may not.
Uo... moms making things sound too extreme for ftm. I love my cousin to death and I totally expect that I will be shocked by the difficulties motherhood truly entails..... but she's already telling me I will never ever be able to spend a free hour for myself again. I believe it's true I will have zero free time. .. but really I'll never be able to take 2 hours for myself while someone watches my kid? (This convo started because I said how I won't be able to use my paddle board this summer since I'm pregnant and she said I won't be able to use it next summer either)
Edited for extra: I should add her kids are 9 and have never really been watched by anyone else.
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
@AMCsquared dude I totally feel you on that one. Maybe because DS was a really easy baby (from what I've heard) but I never thought the newborn stage was the nightmare that everyone described it as, and I have never missed a shower or had to drink my coffee or tea cold or skipped a meal... I mean that might change with two, but it's a matter of prioritizing, your well being (mental, or otherwise) is just as important as your children's
@MJDsquared I like untoasted bagels if they're fresh! As a kid, I used to tear fresh bagels in half, scoop out the dough from the inside with my finger, then eat the outer part. I wonder if my LOs will inherit that quirk lol.
@AMCsquared, some people don't have appropriate spousal support either so they really may feel like they have no time to themselves. AFM, I trained for a marathon for six months, which had me out of the house for four hours at a time on weekends with a 3 year old and almost 2 year old. You definitely can make time for yourself with a support system in place.
@AMCsquared same.. both my SILs have young children and they both were like LOL ENJOY IT NOW when I told them I was pretty tired these days and was sleeping way more than normal. They made me sound like such an ignorant child that I would dare say I was tired in my first trimester when I have 0 kids running around the house. Obviously I know the days of sleeping in are coming to an end... I am aware that babies and kids wake up in the middle of the night and super early in the morning. And that they're a handful and you'll probably never sleep properly again. I was simply responding to their question of "how are you feeling?" and I made the mistake of saying I was tired. Ugh.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@Peachy13 Ugh! That bugs me. I've been getting that response from one of my co-workers when she asks how I'm feeling. I understand I am a FTM, I don't know everything about child-rearing, but standing there telling me "just wait" only sounds condescending and rude. Geeze.
Me: 30 DH: 31
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #1 07/2016 BFN
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
Honestly, I don't think it's that bad. Like @kvacmak, I've never missed a shower. Sometimes my meal gets cold while I'm trying to make sure DD is eating and not just throwing food on the floor. You know what's great about that? Microwaves. I have a great support system and my husband doesn't need to be asked to help, he just does. He's never said no when I ask for free or alone time. And I honestly miss the newborn stage sometimes! Lots of cuddling and lots of sleeping. You'll be plenty well rested if you take to heart the age-old rule of thumb to sleep when baby sleeps. They do it alllllll the time. Yeah, it will be in small clumps, but it helps so much.
Yeah I'm a strong believer that we all need time to still be ourselves. I refuse to believe my friends who say they won't allow a babysitter, grandparents on either side, or even their DH be alone with their kids. Come on.
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
I finally thought of one (after getting a craving for garden vegetable cream cheese and inhaling a bagel): I prefer my bagels untoasted 99% of the time.
ooooo man, i'm the opposite. that shit better be TOASTY. not my mom's version of toasted, which i would call "slightly warmed by the vicinity of the toaster"
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
I was 4cm when I went in at 11am for induction. My water broke at 1pm and DS came at 5pm. So not sure if it was the pitocin bec I didn't mind it at all. Got an epi at 6 cm and had an allergic reaction. So for me, I loved Pitocin and hated the EPI
I'm with you guys on the condescending "oh, JUST YOU WAIT" response from my mom friends. It's like, uuuuummm, you guys? I know what I signed up for. And making a baby is exhausting. It's all relative to your own situation. I AM TIRED. It's not a competition between us on who's more tired. When I thought I was just having one, I was fully on board with leaving the baby with my mom or my bff who watches all of our friends babies for a little hour here and there while I run an errand or two. But now that we're having two, I believe I'll be on lockdown for at least a year. Everything about my first pregnancy and baby has changed.
Honestly I never understood the 'just you wait' comments about being tired. I felt more exhausted in the first trimester with my DD than I did during my DD's first year. The only exception to that was the first week after she was born when I was just trying to get my strength back after 40+ hrs of labor. She was not an easy baby, she was colicky and didn't sleep well, but at least some sleep would leave me feeling better rested. During the 1st trimester I feel like I could sleep 10-12 hrs a day and wake up still utterly exhausted.
@whiska you'll be sad to hear that one time at Dunkin donuts they gave me a hot bagel and I told them to exchange it for a non fresh one bc I can't stand anything similar to toasted lol
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
I feel like the 'just you wait' comments are dependent upon situation and like @vvitchhazel said a lot probably has to do with support systems. I have a great support system and am able to sleep/shower/go out occasionally/be a person on the regular. Is it waaaaay different from when I didn't have kids? Hell yeah. Did it take some adjusting and miserable days, yes. But having a life after kids is doable and healthy and I hate when STM scare the bejeezus out of FTM and tell them their lives will be over. I hard core eye roll those comments.
My UO (though I'm chiming in late) is I don't believe that kids should be your entire existence after you have them. Not saying they have to fend for themselves or anything. I think as parents we have a huge responsibility to raise loved, well adapted, socially adjusted kiddos. I just don't believe in the hype of giving up who you are as a person because now you have kids.
@AMCsquared we have always set early bedtimes, between 6:30 and 7. Two reasons: my kids are early risers so early bedtimes are necessary (sleep begets sleep) AND then dh and I have 2+ hours of us time every night. Has really worked well for us.
@missbmama exactly!!! It's important for us to still be us. Mom is a huge role but it's not our entire identity. Some moms say that moms who don't give up their whole lives for their kids are bad moms... but I disagree and say moms who totally lose themselves are bad moms.
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
My daughter was born by c section after pitocin and then a crappy eipdural. Everytime I sat up, my kid stopped breathing so he tried to get it in while I was laying down and my back looked like a pin cushion for several days after. The epidrural worked but it totally stopped my contractions and my daughter again decided breathing was for suckers. I fought it when my doc said we needed to do a c section but I'm sure that my daughter wouldn't be here without it. I'm not going through that again. I've tried labor and it sucked. I'm doing a repeat c section, no questions asked. Give me an appointment and I'll show up, thank you very much.
I hate the just you wait comments. Happened with our first, our second and now people just assume we've gone insane. We know what we're getting into and we're excited. Yes it's an adjustment, but you get used to it. I definitely missed showers after my second - she was a totally different baby than my first who was super easy. She was attached to me literally 24/7 - so if it meant showering once DH was home from work, that's what we did. Everyone adjusts during the newborn phase, personally I don't love every single moment of the newborn phase, but I do love those baby cuddles. There is nothing like it in the world - and that fresh baby smell. The best.
I actually think potty training is a bigger test on your sanity and patience than the newborn phase. I hate potty training, but I think that's probably a popular opinion? I don't know - it's the worst and my girls were fairly easy to train. Of all the things with having another child, potty training is what I dread the most. THE WORST.
@disneyfan0511 Potty training is the worst! We've been trying to train my 3 year old for over a year now and it's torture. Add to it that he is withholding his bowel movements and I want to scream. He'll hold it for 3-5 days, straining to keep it in. Try telling a 3 year old that he HAS TO poop and that it will only hurt more the longer he holds it. Holy moly, the struggle is real.
@GraysonsMama oh the pooping. So terrible - my youngest held it in all the time and then we had to give her Miralax - horrible, horrible times when you give your kid a laxative to poop and potty training. I still have nightmares. She is almost 4 and still has an occasional accident where she doesn't make it to the toilet in time (thankfully just pee)...I feel like I will never win the potty battle with her!
Re: Unpopular Opinion (UO) Thursday
April 2016 - AMH, FSH, Progesterone normal
June 2016 - HSG clear
*TW* BFP - Aug16, demise confirmed Sep16, incomplete m/c, D&C Nov16
BFP 3/27/17, edd 12/7/17
DS - 12/9/17
TTC #2 December 2018
BFP 2/22/19, edd 11/4/19
DD - 11/1/19
My Chart
I was was induced for both babies, and pitocin is awful. I had to have an epi because I'm allergic to commonly used anesthetic drugs and I'm hard to intubate. It was safer to have the epi in case of an emergency. I would not complain, after toughing it out for hours and hours my first labor, it was a miracle drug to get that epi.
My UO is that I don't give a rats ass about Chris Cornell. This is probably more relevant locally because I am from the same area Soundgarden formed. The radio and new sounds has been nothing but about his death.
Edited for extra: I should add her kids are 9 and have never really been watched by anyone else.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN
IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN
IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
My UO (though I'm chiming in late) is I don't believe that kids should be your entire existence after you have them. Not saying they have to fend for themselves or anything. I think as parents we have a huge responsibility to raise loved, well adapted, socially adjusted kiddos. I just don't believe in the hype of giving up who you are as a person because now you have kids.
but you know babies don't breath in utero, right?
I actually think potty training is a bigger test on your sanity and patience than the newborn phase. I hate potty training, but I think that's probably a popular opinion? I don't know - it's the worst and my girls were fairly easy to train. Of all the things with having another child, potty training is what I dread the most. THE WORST.