Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ColeBug89
member
Re: Working Moms
I went back to work last Tuesday, and week one back had been pretty good. I was bummed to leave DD home with H last week, but it feels good to be back in the swing of things.
I think it helps that I have amazing bosses and coworkers that made the transition back pretty smooth! When I went back last week, I was greeted with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a snack/coffee gift basket. I also had a "welcome back" sign...I'll attach a picture lol I'm not sure if they were too lazy or busy but my "sign" is pretty hilarious. It was intended for my replacement (she worked here for many years before she retired and I took her place), but they made it work for me as well haha.
H also brought DD in to visit two days last week and that helped as well.
Now that H and I are both back to work and DD is in day care, I think we can start having some normalcy and routine again!
My first week back was just spent in my office getting things prepped for the kiddos on my caseload, so I wasn't overwhelmed with traveling out to the schools right away. I think it's better to ease your way back in after being on leave rather than just jumping right in!
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
Married 6.22.13
Hoping for a Herd Linky
12/15--IF testing
3/16--Dx Unexplained IF
Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI + Progesterone cycle
Cancelled due to cysts. Started 3 weeks of BCP.
4/16--Cute Ute! Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI+Progesterone TI.
Cancelled-no response
5/16--Hemmorhagic cyst and other cyst discovered.
No medicated cycle. MRI scheduled to rule out
septate uterus.
6/16--Septum discovered. Consultation for surgery.
Surprise BFP 6/8/16--EDD 2/13/17
Kole David--1.7.17--Tiny but Mighty, born at 34+5 after HELLP syndrome
Chart Stalk Me
actual leave started when the kids came back in January.
As as far as day care goes, H's work has an on-sight day care and that's where DD goes. I really like that H is so close to her if something were to happen. Her day care also has a really cool app that shows exact times for naps, feedings, and diaper changes so I'm able to see exactly what's going on during the day. They even take a daily photo of her so I can see what she's doing!
Married 6.22.13
Hoping for a Herd Linky
12/15--IF testing
3/16--Dx Unexplained IF
Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI + Progesterone cycle
Cancelled due to cysts. Started 3 weeks of BCP.
4/16--Cute Ute! Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI+Progesterone TI.
Cancelled-no response
5/16--Hemmorhagic cyst and other cyst discovered.
No medicated cycle. MRI scheduled to rule out
septate uterus.
6/16--Septum discovered. Consultation for surgery.
Surprise BFP 6/8/16--EDD 2/13/17
Kole David--1.7.17--Tiny but Mighty, born at 34+5 after HELLP syndrome
Chart Stalk Me
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
A lot more ladies sound like they are heading back to work, thought this thread might come in handy up at the top
How much of a breastmilk stash did people have ready before they went back? And how did you know the amounts to pump? It seems so daunting! What seems to make sense in my mind is to have a couple days worth saved up, and then once I go back to use the milk I pump at work from the previous day for the next days feed. But should I probably have more? LO will be almost 5 months at that point.
ETA - What I pump at work plus what I pump when I get home in the evening is what I use the next day for LO. There's no way I could pump a whole day's worth of milk just at work lol.
This is super helpful -- I've introduced the bottle, so there's no issue there, but I'm more concerned about how much to start saving up and when! But it's good to know that I may not get a days worth of milk just by pumping at work. I assumed that I would!
ideally, you'll pump during the day around when LO is eating and will pump enough for the next day's bottles. Personally, I tend to get the most from my first pump and less from my next two, but it usually works out to be enough + a little extra.
As as far as stashed, you'll want to have at least what LO will need for day 1 plus a spare bottle or two worth, just in case. You don't need to have a huge freezer stash by any means, but it's nice to have some reserves if a bottle gets spilled or you don't pump much one day, etc.
my sitch: LO is 3 months, around 14 lbs, and I leave three 5 oz bottles for the day. I pump at work around 7, 11, and 2:30 and get home around 4:30. Usually I've ended up dumping a couple leftover ounces each evening, but he's eaten a lot the next two days and I might try 6 oz bottles soon. We just switched to #2 nipples and I think he might be ready for more.
Hope this is helpful!
That's awesome that your DH watches your LO! My H is with DD on Fridays and he absolutely loves the time they spend together
The hardest part is walking away from her to leave. I feel just awful. I work second shift, so I leave at 2:30pm and get home around midnight. I feel like I am losing so much time with her. I am hoping that DH will soon get into a higher paying position so I can go part time, but it is what it is right now. We need the medical insurance my job offers and the pay checks to make sure we make ends meet. It is nice to know how much fun he is having with her though and I know he is taking great care of her.
@BlondePeanut I went back to work last Wednesday, and I cried a few times that first day. Each day has been a little easier, but I definitely would rather be home with my LO as well. My mom is watching him for the summer (he'll go to daycare at my work starting in August), but it's still hard not to be the one to be there with them. Nonetheless, it DOES get a tiny bit easier each day!
That helps. I have been having fear along with the guilt that our bond that we have will be affected b/c I am not home with her 24/7 like i was the first 3.5 months of her life. Your story gives me reason to shove my fear aside. And the big smile I get when she sees me every day too