Working Moms

ColeBug89

For the moms that are back at work or going back to work at some point, this is for you! If you have any work/baby related questions, fears, concerns, happy thoughts, whatever, let 'em out here!

ColeBug89

I'll start 

I went back to work last Tuesday, and week one back had been pretty good. I was bummed to leave DD home with H last week, but it feels good to be back in the swing of things.

I think it helps that I have amazing bosses and coworkers that made the transition back pretty smooth! When I went back last week, I was greeted with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a snack/coffee gift basket. I also had a "welcome back" sign...I'll attach a picture lol I'm not sure if they were too lazy or busy but my "sign" is pretty hilarious. It was intended for my replacement (she worked here for many years before she retired and I took her place), but they made it work for me as well haha.

H also brought DD in to visit two days last week and that helped as well.

Now that H and I are both back to work and DD is in day care, I think we can start having some normalcy and routine again!

chef'swife

That is so sweet (and funny) @ColeBug89!  Yesterday I let my boss know that I won't be returning full time. They were really understanding and are willing to accommodate me coming back part time/PRN. I work in addictions treatment and the work is rewarding but very stressful. DH and I agreed that it's just not best for our family if I try to go back full time now. My time on hospital bed rest plus 1 month in the NICU ate up half of my leave time and really made us feel "cheated" on time to settle in with the babe. DHs restaurant schedule is still crazy and he and his partners are looking at locations to open another soon so he really appreciates having us home in the morning for family time. We are lucky that we can manage with me only working a few days a month. My family also owns a large retail business and I've always managed our books, leasing, and product ordering so I'm still doing those tasks from home. 

chef'swife

Today is my first day back to work at the hospital. So anxious leaving Harrison this morning and glad it's only for 1 day. The final plan with my employer it that I'll be working 1 day a week with the option to fill in extra days if I want. I know today will be spent learning a ton of procedural changes that took effect while I was out, so it shouldn't be too busy with clients but should keep my mind focused on work. 

ColeBug89

I understand how you feel @chef'swife I was so anxious leaving Ella my first day back. It's so nice that you have the flexibility at work though! 

My first week back was just spent in my office getting things prepped for the kiddos on my caseload, so I wasn't overwhelmed with traveling out to the schools right away. I think it's better to ease your way back in after being on leave rather than just jumping right in!

chef'swife

@ColeBug89 My previous job was an ACT Team case manager- there's no way I could have jumped right back into that caseload and schedule. When I left the position I was averaging 8-9 client visits in the community per day. 

ColeBug89

@chef'swife that's crazy! I have about 10 kids on my caseload now (doesn't sound like a lot but there is so much involved with evaluations lol) but I only picked up 2 during my first week back...everyone is putting their eval requests in now before school is out for the year so we've been getting slammed! I'm just ready for June so I get my six week summer break home with DD haha.

imalwaysme79

I go back on 4/3 and I'm not ready. I can't stand that I'll be away from my baby for 9+ hours a day, everyday. I can't stand that he will spend 9+ hours a day in daycare in someone else's care. I'm not ready. Nope. 

paigeed

@chefswife @ColeBug89 I feel ya on the feeling cheated of maternity leave. Spending 6 weeks of it on the NICU/hospital really sucked. I teach and asked my principal and super if I could take the rest of the school year off and they were ok with it. We get out in early May though so it was 4 weeks longer. I'm so thankful they extended it for me, I can't imagine having to go back yet. I'm sure you guys have all the feels leaving your LOs and going back to the daily grind. Did you find an awesome daycare option though that makes you feel more comfortable? I'm thinking of you all! 

ColeBug89

@paigeed I did get a little lucky with my leave. I work in the schools and DD was born the last school day before Christmas break so I was able to use a personal day that day and my
actual leave started when the kids came back in January.

As as far as day care goes, H's work has an on-sight day care and that's where DD goes. I really like that H is so close to her if something were to happen. Her day care also has a really cool app that shows exact times for naps, feedings, and diaper changes so I'm able to see exactly what's going on during the day. They even take a daily photo of her so I can see what she's doing!

paigeed

@ColeBug89 Oh that worked out nicely to have Christmas break free and clear! Having LO so close to YH is super convenient as well. 

MissMerciBeaucoup

I'm not going back to work for a couple more months, but so glad this thread is here when I do!  I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it!

imalwaysme79

I'm going back on Monday and I'm struggling hard with it. I'm trying not to think about it and enjoy my last few days at home with him, but I break down and ugly cry a couple times a day. I hate hate hate that women (and men) don't get longer (and paid) leave. I'm not ready. 

ColeBug89

@imalwaysme79 I hope you enjoy the rest of your time home with your LO! It's definitely not easy, I cried the night before I went back to work. I agree, I wish parents could get longer and paid leave as well!

kswiger06

***bump***
A lot more ladies sound like they are heading back to work, thought this thread might come in handy up at the top

ColeBug89

Thanks @kswiger06!

peachesnbean

Hey y'all I am back to work. So you should see me around these parts more often? IDK. We've actually been incredibly busy this week which is a total 180 from before I went on leave. Oye.

ColeBug89

@peachesnbean When I went back to work in March, we were super busy and it hasn't slowed down yet! The kiddos last day of school is next Friday though so we should have things slow down a bit for June.

die_frau

I still have another month or so before I head back to work -- part of me is totally ready and another part of me is dreading it!

How much of a breastmilk stash did people have ready before they went back? And how did you know the amounts to pump? It seems so daunting! What seems to make sense in my mind is to have a couple days worth saved up, and then once I go back to use the milk I pump at work from the previous day for the next days feed. But should I probably have more? LO will be almost 5 months at that point. 

ColeBug89

@die frau I'm not sure if this really helps since I EP, but I can tell you my experience. I don't really have a stash and I manage to have enough for her. What I pump at work I use the next day.  As far as how much for the bottles, have you tried giving LO a bottle yet? For me, it was easier because DD has been using bottles since day one, so I've always known how much to give her. My DD is almost 5 months and takes 5 oz per feeding. I hope this helps!

ETA - What I pump at work plus what I pump when I get home in the evening is what I use the next day for LO. There's no way I could pump a whole day's worth of milk just at work lol.

die_frau

ColeBug89 said:

@die frau I'm not sure if this really helps since I EP, but I can tell you my experience. I don't really have a stash and I manage to have enough for her. What I pump at work I use the next day.  As far as how much for the bottles, have you tried giving LO a bottle yet? For me, it was easier because DD has been using bottles since day one, so I've always known how much to give her. My DD is almost 5 months and takes 5 oz per feeding. I hope this helps!

ETA - What I pump at work plus what I pump when I get home in the evening is what I use the next day for LO. There's no way I could pump a whole day's worth of milk just at work lol.

This is super helpful -- I've introduced the bottle, so there's no issue there, but I'm more concerned about how much to start saving up and when! But it's good to know that I may not get a days worth of milk just by pumping at work. I assumed that I would! 

MommaBean

@die frau (idk if tag will work)

ideally, you'll pump during the day around when LO is eating and will pump enough for the next day's bottles. Personally, I tend to get the most from my first pump and less from my next two, but it usually works out to be enough + a little extra. 

As as far as stashed, you'll want to have at least what LO will need for day 1 plus a spare bottle or two worth, just in case. You don't need to have a huge freezer stash by any means, but it's nice to have some reserves if a bottle gets spilled or you don't pump much one day, etc. 

my sitch: LO is 3 months, around 14 lbs, and I leave three 5 oz bottles for the day. I pump at work around 7, 11, and 2:30 and get home around 4:30. Usually I've ended up dumping a couple leftover ounces each evening, but he's eaten a lot the next two days and I might try 6 oz bottles soon. We just switched to #2 nipples and I think he might be ready for more. 

Hope this is helpful!

BlondePeanut

I am back to work now, so I will be back around these parts now that I have computer access again. I cried on my drive in. I am pumping, breastfeeding and also have to supplement some formula due to supply issues. I BF while I am home, pump before I leave and again at work with formula feedings mixed in while I am at work. DH watches her while I am working. I am greatful for that, but boy I wish I could just stay home with her. I miss her terribly

ColeBug89

@BlondePeanut I know how tough it can be that first day/week going back to work after being with LO! I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

That's awesome that your DH watches your LO! My H is with DD on Fridays and he absolutely loves the time they spend together

chef'swife

FX for a smooth(as can be) transition for you, @BlondePeanut. We are happy to have you popping back in!  

BlondePeanut

Thank you @ColeBug89 and @chef'swife

The hardest part is walking away from her to leave. I feel just awful. I work second shift, so I leave at 2:30pm and get home around midnight. I feel like I am losing so much time with her. I am hoping that DH will soon get into a higher paying position so I can go part time, but it is what it is right now. We need the medical insurance my job offers and the pay checks to make sure we make ends meet. It is nice to know how much fun he is having with her though and I know he is taking great care of her. 

madamerwin

Hi all! I am also back at work, which means I will be popping on here more often again.

@BlondePeanut I went back to work last Wednesday, and I cried a few times that first day. Each day has been a little easier, but I definitely would rather be home with my LO as well. My mom is watching him for the summer (he'll go to daycare at my work starting in August), but it's still hard not to be the one to be there with them. Nonetheless, it DOES get a tiny bit easier each day!

BlondePeanut

So I am almost a month in to being back to work....and I still have some days with extreme separation anxiety. I check in with my husband multiple times when I am at work to check on her, not b/c I am concerned how he is doing with her, I know 100% he is fantastic and taking good care of her. I just can't focus on anything else if I don't do that and get reassured she is OK. Today I am almost fighting off a panic attack feeling wanting to rush home and be with her. DH and I haven't done any date nights, his Mom got us a gift card for the movies which won't be used for a while. I am just not comfortable going out right now without her in tow. I feel like with my work hours (leave for the day at 2:30pm and return home at midnight 5 days a week) that I am missing so much time with her and I won't sacrifice any of my time away from work to go out without her (unless she is sleeping and I have to run to the store quickly, I won't wake her to drag her out). I don't think I am neglecting my marriage either, I give my husband love and affection and we still have intimate time when she is sleeping at night or napping, and he seems happy with how things are going. I have stopped the crying spells when I go to work for the most part, but some days I have this heavy feeling in my heart that is a mix of guilt from leaving her at home and the need to be with her. I just figured I would air my feelings here amongst other working Moms to see if anyone is having similar feelings. I am a FTM too, so this is all very very new to me. Thank you in advance for being non-judgmental.     

kswiger06

@BlondePeanut I'm not a working mom, but I assure you it's all normal feelings. I get anxiety sometimes when I'm leaving Austin home for only 45 minutes or so. In your situation, it is great that you are able to offer your family good benefits from your job. I know it's rough, and I know if it were me, I'd handle it with less grace for sure. I remember being little and running out to meet my dad at our gate in the front yard when he was coming home. In fact one day he was running really late and I didn't know, so I waited and waited for him and had actually peed myself because I was waiting for him. (I was 4-6 years old). Even though it's sort of an embarrassing story, I wanted to share because my dad was the one who worked and yet we still had an amazing bond and I was so excited when he got home. And I think we are all going through stuff with our husband's, it's hard rebalancing life after adding a new baby. I'm sure you're doing great, stay strong mama

BlondePeanut

Thank you @kswiger06
That helps. I have been having fear along with the guilt that our bond that we have will be affected b/c I am not home with her 24/7 like i was the first 3.5 months of her life. Your story gives me reason to shove my fear aside. And the big smile I get when she sees me every day too

ColeBug89

@BlondePeanut I understand how you feel. I get (for the most part) frequent updates on what DD is doing during the day with her day care app, but some days I freak out if I haven't seen an update in a while. I also constantly text my H when he has her on Fridays. I also feel bad about doing things without DD because I feel like I don't get enough time with her after work. Just know you aren't alone in these feelings! I wish I could say it gets easier, but I've been back to work for 4 months now and while it's easier than the first day I went to work, I still feel bad some days. I hope it does get easier for you! And there are still a few of us left here to vent to whenever you need it 

BlondePeanut

Thank you! @ColeBug89