@HappyToBeHere the offers to babysit etc when one is not really capable are horrible! My mom was offering and telling her friends she was going to be 'grandma-daycare' 2 days a week. Which was never the plan, she just can't do it.
I feel badly, b/c a bunch of her friends do it for their grandkids but, they are in much better physical shape etc. My mother had a minor stroke just last weekend and is in rehab now, we are lucky it was minor, and we are glad she is doing well, but once we knew things were going to be ok, I told my dad she better not think she can still babysit alone. When I saw her in the hospital one of the things she said was not to worry b/c she would be better before I went back to work. Because that is my concern here-at all!
I might work from home one day a week after leave, and I told him she can come that day, so I am there too, she gets time with the baby, I can take calls etc if needed, but I won't worry about her and the baby all day. It is hard to have to tell family that what they think is ok, is actually not.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
I might work from home one day a week after leave, and I told him she can come that day, so I am there too, she gets time with the baby, I can take calls etc if needed, but I won't worry about her and the baby all day.
It is hard to have to tell family that what they think is ok, is actually not.
I had to go buy prenatals with iron after my iron levels dropped from my previous blood draw. I was going to buy the 200 count bottle for a few cents more, but realized I only needed the 100 count. Where has the time gone?
I had to go buy prenatals with iron after my iron levels dropped from my previous blood draw. I was going to buy the 200 count bottle for a few cents more, but realized I only needed the 100 count. Where has the time gone?
I had to buy the Iron supplements, count 200 (didn't see a 100). CVS had buy one, get one for $1. The cashier was like, "are you sure you don't want to buy another bottle?" Yup, quite sure, just a preggo issue!
I had to go buy prenatals with iron after my iron levels dropped from my previous blood draw. I was going to buy the 200 count bottle for a few cents more, but realized I only needed the 100 count. Where has the time gone?
You'll want to keep taking them if you plan on brestfeeding
Anyone have any good bathing suit recs?? Going on vacation next week (THANK GOD) and my boobs don't fit in anything. I have no problem rocking a bikini with the bump but need a top with much more support than I'm use to.
@pinkyswife If you need a bathing suit next week, I've had good luck with some of the high neck style bikini. I have one from Target that I got last year.
@pinkyswife I got a maternity bottom from target when pregnant with DS. The top was a regular top from there with underwire and halter style top, it worked well pregnant and postpartum
@pinkyswife I got mine from motherhood. I went with a tasteful one piece because my stretch marks are getting real I would also check zulily and target.
@smallbutmighty77 - First off, I'm glad to hear your mom is doing so much better!
But yes, it's just impractical to think that the demands of a LO can be met by someone who isn't in great physical/mental shape. My MIL has both issues: she is on disability from work, has a 15 lb weight lift limit for life, and is on some meds that have really changed her as a person (she's not attentive, forgets quite a bit, spaces out frequently, doesn't react, etc.).
She says her doctors just wrote down that weight limit to get her off work (which, as an employer, bugs me to no end), but told her to "enjoy her grandchildren" which she thinks means she can babysit. Our 2.5 yo DD is the most active, daring little girl I've ever met ... I myself had to get into better physical and mental shape in order to keep up with her when she started walking. MIL is nowhere near what is needed to stay on top of our DD, and I'm not about to put a newborn in her care.
I think your idea about working a day from home and having your mom over during that time is perfect. Then at least you'll be able to assess your own comfort level with how she handles the demands. I think she'll understand, but you're right that it is SO HARD to tell them it's just not ok.
@pinkyswife - have a wonderful trip! I got this suit with a 40% off coupon at a pea in the pod I got a large tankini top- and I am probably a B/C cup. The bottoms are awesome. I may splurge on the bikini top as well. I think pregnancy may be the only time I feel comfortable wearing a bikini!!
I had to go buy prenatals with iron after my iron levels dropped from my previous blood draw. I was going to buy the 200 count bottle for a few cents more, but realized I only needed the 100 count. Where has the time gone?
You'll want to keep taking them if you plan on brestfeeding
You ladies are amazing. Thank you! I'll update you with what I end up with. I ordered a few from amazon last night that come tomorrow and I'll start going through your suggestions now too.
Maybe I'll participate in my first HDBD next week with the results
There must be something in the water as MIL is driving me nuts as well. She's actually been over everyday. I need my space. My mother warned me not to say anything to DH about his mother and her neediness. Sure enough I mention it and he is pissed at me for not being more "understanding". Yes, she does a ton for us, but I wish she'd do a bit less. I'm going to lose my s#+@ if she calls DS, her "baby/ boy" one more time. This even bothers my SIL who has called MIL out on it. I told my MIL once, "no he's my baby, yours is right there" and she was asshurt for like a week. She also uses made up words for everything and is trying to teach them to DS. No "gumblie" does not equal "car". Stop using it! I don't care what you called it when you were a kid. I want my son to use the correct words for things.
I am terrified she'll be over more once this new one comes. I've ready made it clear I do not want her sitting in vigil when I am in surgery like she did when DS was born. I am already getting push back. I also don't want her watching DS when baby arrives as she lets him do whatever he wants and then leaves dirty diapers and dishes everywhere.
@Lauradi1010 if people started giving my kid fake words, I would thrown down so hard! Luckily, my SIL is a kindergarten teacher, my mom taught english for a bit, and my sister has a 6yo she never used baby talk with, so I think we are good. I can not with the fake words, nicknames for blanket or something are one thing, but your MIL just sounds nuts. I am sorry you have to deal with all that.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@Lauradi1010 do you have the same MIL as my SIL? SIL is pregnant right now and her MIL calls it her baby and says, "When are we due?" They had to tell her to stop. She was super offended. And making up words? No. My MIL has terrible grammar and always tells DS how much he has "growed", he's not even 2 and I'm already trying to unteach poor grammar. DH's family also has a habit of calling obscure relatives aunt and uncle when they're actually distant cousins. DH doesn't even know if he's actually related to some of them. Drives me crazy.
@smallbutmighty77, thanks for the encouragement. I'm a former English teacher, so it drives me insane.
My MIL used to be a kindergarten teacher so I really don't get it. She's really into, "we did this when I was a kid" and it makes my skin crawl. I constantly have to ask her what "X" means and she's like "oh it's..." then acts hurt when I tell her we use the right words in this house. She actually respnded with, "well, you call the pacifier a binky, why can't I call it an ooshi?" Um...how about because I have never heard of a pacifier being referred to as an ooshi outside of you mentioning it.
I swear I come out looking like the bad guy more than I should over dumb stuff like this. My husband just says to "humor her" but I don't even humor my parents.
@Lauradi1010 do you have the same MIL as my SIL? SIL is pregnant right now and her MIL calls it her baby and says, "When are we due?" They had to tell her to stop. She was super offended. And making up words? No. My MIL has terrible grammar and always tells DS how much he has "growed", he's not even 2 and I'm already trying to unteach poor grammar. DH's family also has a habit of calling obscure relatives aunt and uncle when they're actually distant cousins. DH doesn't even know if he's actually related to some of them. Drives me crazy.
@SouthernMama15 My DH calls so many people aunt/uncle/cousin who arent! He technically has 2 uncles and no aunts or cousins! The issue is that the family is, otherwise, huge and calling someone who is related to him a great aunt or second cousin is confusing, so they settled on, if they are of an age that would make sense to be a cousin, they are cousin, and same with aunt/uncle. I still dont know how the whole family is related after 13 years!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@littlebug2010 I don't get it. DH's cousin and his wife refer to themselves as Uncle Scott and Aunt Mandy. DH calls his dad's cousins aunt and uncle whatever. I don't get the need to label them. I always called my aunts and uncles by their first name. When I was older I vaguely remember figuring out how my aunts where my mom's sisters and that my dad's siblings were aunts or uncles. FIL recently tried to argue with me that 2 of DH's first cousins were DS's first cousins simply because they're young (10 & 11). I was like no, they are DH's first cousins and DS's second, their dad and MIL are brother and sister, she's just 19 years older than her brothers.
FIL has a cousin who never had kids and her brother died young so no nieces or nephews either. All her cousin's kids call her Aunt Dale because they think in some weird way that makes up for things.
Ok guys if DD and I wherent injured in our accident are we entitled to settlement money? My mom is saying that I am. I just have no idea how this really works (I've never been in an accident before) or if we really deserve anything at all. I mean yeah this guy just came into my lane and hit me (he's been found liable), and I know it *could* have been much much worse so I'm truly thankful that we are all physically ok. They already sent me a settlement offer, but after talking to my mom it makes me wonder. Again as of right now everything appears ok so Makes me think why would they owe me? I was hoping today would be easier, but it isn't any less complicated. Also now having to search for a new SUV, just got word that mine is declared totaled.
Met DH 2008-engaged 8/10/2011-married 7/21/12
DD1 born on her due date 05/01/2012 7lbs12oz and 19 3/4 inches long
DD2 born 12/07/2013 @ 39w6d 8lbs15oz 20 3/4 inches long
#3 EDD 09/27/2015 ~ we are going for a HOME birth!
@homemakermama You don't need to be a saint--take the settlement money. I got hit by an uninsured driver earlier this year and my own insurance company was the one who gave me settlement money and compensation for my totaled car. If nothing else, consider settlement money compensation for how inconvenient it is to deal with insurance, going to the doctor, and picking out a new car. Also, if you do need any treatment down the line (massage, chiro, whatever), you can dip into your personal injury protection through your auto insurance instead of your medical insurance.
@homemakermama most insurance companies offer money for pain and suffering, lost wages, etc. They also do it so if something happens once you've signed the settlement you can't try to go back and say it was an injury related to the accident and try to get them to cover medical care.
@homemakermama You don't need to be a saint--take the settlement money. I got hit by an uninsured driver earlier this year and my own insurance company was the one who gave me settlement money and compensation for my totaled car. If nothing else, consider settlement money compensation for how inconvenient it is to deal with insurance, going to the doctor, and picking out a new car. Also, if you do need any treatment down the line (massage, chiro, whatever), you can dip into your personal injury protection through your auto insurance instead of your medical insurance.
I don't so much have an issue taking the money, as much as I'm being told I deserve more then $600. I guess thats where I'm torn at, I thought that was ok. And then I was also told insurance companies will be offer quick to off small settlements like that when they know that you're entitled to more, but I don't know if that's the case.
Met DH 2008-engaged 8/10/2011-married 7/21/12
DD1 born on her due date 05/01/2012 7lbs12oz and 19 3/4 inches long
DD2 born 12/07/2013 @ 39w6d 8lbs15oz 20 3/4 inches long
#3 EDD 09/27/2015 ~ we are going for a HOME birth!
@homemakermama I'd also like some input on this. My husband had to have a partial amputation of his big toe due to a work related injury. He's still going for follow up appointments, but I would have thought we would have been contacted about a settlement by now (it happened about 3 weeks ago). But even if we had been, I don't have the first clue as to how this all works. It's so hard to put a price on what you are "entitled." Ours is a little different too - being a work related injury, we will be dealing with his employers insurance I'd assume. We definitely don't want to seem greedy because his good job is worth more to us than a settlement would be.
@pinkyswife I bought two suits from Pea in a Pod that were on clearance. The regular prices were insane, but the clearance price was comparable to Target or Motherhood
@homemakermama following an accident, you have two years to file an injury claim, but you need to be seen by a doctor within the first 72 hours for documentation. The settlement offer is exactly what @SouthernMama15 said, it prevents you from being able to come back for more money should you down the line have back or neck pain that could trace back to this accident. It's truly your call if you want to take the money now or wait to see if you start feeling any injuries.
And I'm sure you already know this, but in case you don't, your car seat should be replaced and your insurance is responsible for covering that as well.
I'm sitting at a college acapella concert and feeling super old! Its the group my DH sang in at MIT, so I'm sitting with the alumni, but being a pregnant lady on a college campus is super odd. There are multiple girls who have nothing on top, and painted their chests, I have no idea why, and I didn't realize this was an acceptable thing to do.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Re: Weekly Random 5/15
Also, I bought bra strap extenders and am now all
I feel badly, b/c a bunch of her friends do it for their grandkids but, they are in much better physical shape etc. My mother had a minor stroke just last weekend and is in rehab now, we are lucky it was minor, and we are glad she is doing well, but once we knew things were going to be ok, I told my dad she better not think she can still babysit alone. When I saw her in the hospital one of the things she said was not to worry b/c she would be better before I went back to work. Because that is my concern here-at all!
I might work from home one day a week after leave, and I told him she can come that day, so I am there too, she gets time with the baby, I can take calls etc if needed, but I won't worry about her and the baby all day.
It is hard to have to tell family that what they think is ok, is actually not.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
https://www.ripematernity.com/us/maternity/maternity-swimwear
I also recommend the high neck two pieces. Athleta suits are flattering.
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
But yes, it's just impractical to think that the demands of a LO can be met by someone who isn't in great physical/mental shape. My MIL has both issues: she is on disability from work, has a 15 lb weight lift limit for life, and is on some meds that have really changed her as a person (she's not attentive, forgets quite a bit, spaces out frequently, doesn't react, etc.).
She says her doctors just wrote down that weight limit to get her off work (which, as an employer, bugs me to no end), but told her to "enjoy her grandchildren" which she thinks means she can babysit. Our 2.5 yo DD is the most active, daring little girl I've ever met ... I myself had to get into better physical and mental shape in order to keep up with her when she started walking. MIL is nowhere near what is needed to stay on top of our DD, and I'm not about to put a newborn in her care.
I think your idea about working a day from home and having your mom over during that time is perfect. Then at least you'll be able to assess your own comfort level with how she handles the demands. I think she'll understand, but you're right that it is SO HARD to tell them it's just not ok.
I got this suit with a 40% off coupon at a pea in the pod
I got a large tankini top- and I am probably a B/C cup.
The bottoms are awesome. I may splurge on the bikini top as well.
I think pregnancy may be the only time I feel comfortable wearing a bikini!!
Maybe I'll participate in my first HDBD next week with the results
I am terrified she'll be over more once this new one comes. I've ready made it clear I do not want her sitting in vigil when I am in surgery like she did when DS was born. I am already getting push back. I also don't want her watching DS when baby arrives as she lets him do whatever he wants and then leaves dirty diapers and dishes everywhere.
I can not with the fake words, nicknames for blanket or something are one thing, but your MIL just sounds nuts. I am sorry you have to deal with all that.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
My MIL used to be a kindergarten teacher so I really don't get it. She's really into, "we did this when I was a kid" and it makes my skin crawl. I constantly have to ask her what "X" means and she's like "oh it's..." then acts hurt when I tell her we use the right words in this house. She actually respnded with, "well, you call the pacifier a binky, why can't I call it an ooshi?" Um...how about because I have never heard of a pacifier being referred to as an ooshi outside of you mentioning it.
I swear I come out looking like the bad guy more than I should over dumb stuff like this. My husband just says to "humor her" but I don't even humor my parents.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
FIL has a cousin who never had kids and her brother died young so no nieces or nephews either. All her cousin's kids call her Aunt Dale because they think in some weird way that makes up for things.
#1 - DD: 7/5/12
#2 - DS: 5/21/14
#3 - EDD: 8/25/17
And I'm sure you already know this, but in case you don't, your car seat should be replaced and your insurance is responsible for covering that as well.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020