My friend just had a baby and it's a good thing I'm pregnant because I am having EXTREME baby envy. Or am I having baby envy because I'm pregnant and my body is all hormonal...idk either way, so glad I get my own little bundle in 186 days
Just spent 45 minutes setting up this kiddie pool for DS and the toddler terror (the babysitting kid) to play in this afternoon. It recommends 3 adults for set up. I managed it with one pregnant adult and a toddler "helping" which I think qualifies me as 1/2 a functioning adult lol
Last night I decided I'm super into the whole natural childbirth idea for a number of reasons. Before, I wanted to try it out and get an epidural if I decided it was too hard. Now I want to really really go for it and prepare and try my very best to not get an epidural. DH and I talked about it a lot andddd Bradley Method it is for us! Never thought this would be something I would want. Hopefully when we get down to it I'll be able to do it!
you can totally do it! It's 90% mindset. Once you know that it's something you truly want the rest is tolerable mainly because it's temporary. I don't fault anyone for NOT wanting to experience it, but if it's your decision you just need to keep reminding yourself in the moment that you can do it. I didn't think of making it through all of labor, I just thought "let me breathe through this contraction and I'll worry about the next when it comes" although it feels overwhelming the pain truly is temporary. And definitely don't beat yourself up if you end up asking for pain meds.
Well, I was going to make it my trophy high tuesday but apparently we didn't start that thread this week so to randoms I go: I now officially own (and am wearing) maternity pants for the first time which I feel is quite a milestone! Haha. Made it to 15+4 but finally succumbed.
ETA: @BayCamp, I love that mindset and way your phrased all that.
~Ziggy
Me:27 (diagnosed anovulatory May 2016) DH:29 (normal) Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012 TTC#1 since June 2015 June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying" October 2016- We became licensed foster parents November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
@baycamp that's such a great way of looking at it, just one contraction at a time. I'm really more scared of the actual delivery. Labor does sound intense, but I've heard it described as really terrible period cramps which I think I could get through. If my monstrous menstrual cramps haven't been trying to prepare me for that then I don't know what they were for lol. Delivery though...ouch.
@DuchessOfCambridge once you are at that point there's no return. I kind of pushed it out of my mind until the time came, and even then just handled it one feeling at a time. It's intense, but manageable.
I didn't see an appointments thread. We had our NT scan/bloodwork this morning. Scan looks great so hopefully we get good results from the bloodwork back sometime next week. Baby was VERY uncooperative so we were there awhile.
@DuchessOfCambridge (and anyone else in similar shoes) I'm going to try my best to say this without sounding condescending or preachy. It may be impossible though; I always felt my sister was preaching until it became my reality too.. Anyway, just know I'm sharing this from the goodness of my heart because it made a huge difference in my recovery mindset.
Ive said before I made it to like 9.75 dialated, or I was fully dialated but he wouldn't descend enough. Something. I definitely went through transition and all that without medication. I was so determined to be prepared and to do it for the sake of my baby and beating the odds and not increasing my chances of a c-section. On and on. But I stalled. It wasnt even a real complication. They weren't saying I had to have the epidural or talking about a c-section yet. They were saying that I was tired and stressed and it might help me rest and relax enough to get the job done. So I got it, and that's exactly what it did. I was finally in a place to push. My sister had been trying to warn me all along that something subtle like this might happen and that it's okay. It didn't make me a failure. She really saved me a lot of guilt over things changing. So much more so than the birth program I used did. And I've heard some about Bradley only having one ideal outcome that it can lead to a lot of disappointment if things don't go as planned. So yes, emergencies happen and we all know our doctors just want to help baby be born in those situations. But also sometimes more subtle things happen to change your plans, and that's okay.
I 100% agree with @artificalred. With both of my births, I didn't progress once I got to the hospital. I experienced transition with both, but even after a good amount of time, my cervical measurements didn't change. (Also, fun fact - it's possible to throw up or dry heave with every contraction during transition.) For me, I think it's a stress and control issue and I just can't relax enough to progress once I get to the hospital. So go in prepared, but don't beat yourself up if, like @artificalred said, some not-really-a-complication complication arises.
@kissthesky32 If she mobile bumps, does she get PM notifications? I have a guess and I'm curious, too, but I have no idea who to even connect with because I don't know who mobile bumps or not.
@ArtificialRed@kissthesky32 oh definitely. I should have prefaced what I was saying with "I understand things can happen and plans may have to change". A friend of mine was determined to go all natural and labored for 38 hours (!!!!) before getting an epi because she was literally just too exhausted. I will absolutely go into it understanding what I want may not work. All I'm really saying is, I've now decided I'd like to give unmedicated birth a real go instead of my previous "eh if it works then cool" attitude and part of that is truly understanding everything that will be going on and DH understanding how to help me since I won't have a doula or anything. You're both so right though, unforeseen things can happen and I need to be flexible.
TBH, sometimes all natural stuff makes me roll my eyes so half the challenge will be me understanding I need to take it seriously, ha. Which making the decision to really go for it has been helping me do. Thankfully DH is all in for whatever I want to do.
I have a girlfriend who like @artificalred was at a 10 for 4 hours before getting an epidural. I made a deliberate effort to let her know that, epidural or not, that is phenomenal and I don't think I could do it! Some women just go through a lot more than others, and it's okay to admit it. My first (induction, failed epidurals) was by far my most challenging labor, even though some in the natural birth world would say that I failed that time. Maybe, and I *am* very proud of my 2 unmediated births, but THAT birth that I "gave in" was the highest mountain I've ever climbed!
I also intend to have my child med-free. I respect everyone's choices to birth how they want (or what is best for them and baby) but I would say that if you're planning w med free birth prepare yourself for the stories when people find out and the earnest attempts to discourage you!
I just watched a video from a local mom who used my birth center for a home birth. She vlogged the experience, she had 12 days of prodromal labor TWELVE days at 8cm with contractions as close to a minute apart and then tapering off to an hour apart. Cheese and rice, I was committed to the natural route but even I would have been screaming c-section. When the baby finally came it was fast!
@baycamp omg. I will have my limits. I don't think I could do 12 days! I'm amazed my friend got through 38 hours!
@bcashaw honestly I'm in it mostly for not having a spinal headache and everything I've read says recovery is faster, which is very important to me. Those are my main motivations. Anyone who argues with me over those things is dumb. And has def never had a spinal headache.
@DuchessOfCambridge I honestly think a part of it is curiosity for me. We do not plan to have any more so this feels like my only chance to feel that feeling. I'm not worried about the delivery at all, I'm worried about the laboring. I think the delivery will be so fast (in the grand scheme of things) and then the baby is so immediate that it will override any pain. But to be laboring for hours beforehand.... worried.
@duchessofcambridge don't let people tell you what they think is best or even try to argue/justify your position. Just tell people you appreciate their concern but don't want their opinions and that you're preparing yourself for different scenarios. Idk why so many people think the laboring and birth process of other women is something they're allowed to have such strong opinions about. We are all different and I believe we all do what we feel is right for us. It doesn't need justified. KWIM?
I've already had quite a few people ask if I am going to get a VBAC (some that made me feel guilty about having a C-section). I simply tell people that I'll do whatever my body decides. I'm prepared for different scenarios and I'll know what's right when the time comes.
@mariposa_767s I've gotten those questions too. It's between me and my doctor and if we think I'm a good candidate for a VBAC. People are so nosy and judgy.
3 weeks? Dang @ElizabethSchuyler you must have been exhausted and frustrated!
So so many people the first time told me I'd fail in going natural and it helped with my mental resolve to prove them wrong. I don't know why people who are supposed to love and support you seem to root for you to fail.
I am all for birthing however you see fit, I think labor is fascinating from all natural in a tub to getting a needle in your back to c-sections it's always amazing to me when that baby comes out and each one requires its own kind of mental and physical strength.
@BayCamp I feel like that's me. My SIL in particular is so convinced that I won't do it that it really makes me want to do it even more to prove her wrong.
Agreed @BayCamp. The important thing is that both baby and mom come out of it all safely. Seriously starting to hate all the "just you wait" comments from friends. Like yes, I wouldn't put it past myself to cave after 24 hours of labor that isn't progressing and get an epi but you don't have to disregard me right off the bat. Give me a chance! Or just hush and keep your comments to yourself. The ONLY time anything like that is helpful is when it's said in the context of "that's great and I truly hope it works for you but don't beat yourself up if things come up and it doesn't". That's more empowering. You believe I can do it but you want to let me know giving birth is really hard and a feat in itself and there's nothing wrong with taking meds if I want them.
I get slightly frustrated when people say "as long as the baby is healthy" because I feel like it doesn't account for the physical and mental health of the mom. I have a friend who didn't have her last baby in a hospital because she had a violating birth trauma with her son. Her epi didn't work and she told the doctor she could feel everything. He still stuck his hand up her vagina and fingers in her rectum to force the baby out. Everyone kept voiding her feelings of being violated by saying "at least the baby is healthy". Meanwhile she had one of the worst tears one can have and feels her vagina is now mutilated as a result. She was screaming in pain as he was doing it and asked him to stop. He got rude with her and basically told her to shut up because he was doing his job. I have other friends who have had birth traumas as well. So I always try to say "as long as we are healthy". ETA that I don't think anyone in here has said that, so this wasn't directed at anyone.
I'm also planning to go all natural if possible. I have this irrational fear of unnecessary meds and it really bothers me to think about how close the epi is to the spine. I am also terrified of a spinal headache or having another bad reaction to the epi! I havent shared my personal plan with people yet but in the past have heard a lot of people say "no need to try and be a hero" in regards to natural birth...I don't look at it as trying to be a hero, my fears are just a little different from most people's! I'm not planning to do Bradley method or any other structured method, just hoping to be able to power through. I'm honestly not that scared of the pain of childbirth right now, although I know it will feel more "real" as it gets closer. Of course, I am going into it knowing not to beat myself up if I do end up needing the meds. I would love to avoid a c section if at all possible, but I know that's not under my control.
Re: Weekly Randoms May 15
you will not defeat me $20 Walmart pool!!
::::as long as there are no complications:::
you can totally do it! It's 90% mindset. Once you know that it's something you truly want the rest is tolerable mainly because it's temporary. I don't fault anyone for NOT wanting to experience it, but if it's your decision you just need to keep reminding yourself in the moment that you can do it. I didn't think of making it through all of labor, I just thought "let me breathe through this contraction and I'll worry about the next when it comes" although it feels overwhelming the pain truly is temporary. And definitely don't beat yourself up if you end up asking for pain meds.
I now officially own (and am wearing) maternity pants for the first time which I feel is quite a milestone! Haha. Made it to 15+4 but finally succumbed.
ETA: @BayCamp, I love that mindset and way your phrased all that.
Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012
TTC#1 since June 2015
June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN
July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN
August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying"
October 2016- We became licensed foster parents
November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo
March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
Ive said before I made it to like 9.75 dialated, or I was fully dialated but he wouldn't descend enough. Something. I definitely went through transition and all that without medication. I was so determined to be prepared and to do it for the sake of my baby and beating the odds and not increasing my chances of a c-section. On and on. But I stalled. It wasnt even a real complication. They weren't saying I had to have the epidural or talking about a c-section yet. They were saying that I was tired and stressed and it might help me rest and relax enough to get the job done. So I got it, and that's exactly what it did. I was finally in a place to push. My sister had been trying to warn me all along that something subtle like this might happen and that it's okay. It didn't make me a failure. She really saved me a lot of guilt over things changing. So much more so than the birth program I used did. And I've heard some about Bradley only having one ideal outcome that it can lead to a lot of disappointment if things don't go as planned. So yes, emergencies happen and we all know our doctors just want to help baby be born in those situations. But also sometimes more subtle things happen to change your plans, and that's okay.
TBH, sometimes all natural stuff makes me roll my eyes so half the challenge will be me understanding I need to take it seriously, ha. Which making the decision to really go for it has been helping me do. Thankfully DH is all in for whatever I want to do.
@bcashaw honestly I'm in it mostly for not having a spinal headache and everything I've read says recovery is faster, which is very important to me. Those are my main motivations. Anyone who argues with me over those things is dumb. And has def never had a spinal headache.
You can get through it, guys. Your bodies are amazing.
@duchessofcambridge don't let people tell you what they think is best or even try to argue/justify your position. Just tell people you appreciate their concern but don't want their opinions and that you're preparing yourself for different scenarios. Idk why so many people think the laboring and birth process of other women is something they're allowed to have such strong opinions about. We are all different and I believe we all do what we feel is right for us. It doesn't need justified. KWIM?
I've already had quite a few people ask if I am going to get a VBAC (some that made me feel guilty about having a C-section). I simply tell people that I'll do whatever my body decides. I'm prepared for different scenarios and I'll know what's right when the time comes.
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
@elizabethschuyler my favorite part is when they give their opinion anyway. It's almost always "Well I think you should try at least". Ugh
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
So so many people the first time told me I'd fail in going natural and it helped with my mental resolve to prove them wrong. I don't know why people who are supposed to love and support you seem to root for you to fail.
I am all for birthing however you see fit, I think labor is fascinating from all natural in a tub to getting a needle in your back to c-sections it's always amazing to me when that baby comes out and each one requires its own kind of mental and physical strength.
Except give birth without an epidural. You can't do that.
I mean a baby. A cute baby.
@duchessofcambridge definitely watch it. it's good
I get slightly frustrated when people say "as long as the baby is healthy" because I feel like it doesn't account for the physical and mental health of the mom. I have a friend who didn't have her last baby in a hospital because she had a violating birth trauma with her son. Her epi didn't work and she told the doctor she could feel everything. He still stuck his hand up her vagina and fingers in her rectum to force the baby out. Everyone kept voiding her feelings of being violated by saying "at least the baby is healthy". Meanwhile she had one of the worst tears one can have and feels her vagina is now mutilated as a result. She was screaming in pain as he was doing it and asked him to stop. He got rude with her and basically told her to shut up because he was doing his job. I have other friends who have had birth traumas as well. So I always try to say "as long as we are healthy". ETA that I don't think anyone in here has said that, so this wasn't directed at anyone.
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.