I send DH home. I'm not a "I'm miserable so you have to be too" kind of person. He needs sleep for us and really I haven't really had a bad experience.
I also am ok with him going back to work as soon as I am home. I need my space and can handle my children. He just gets in the way.
Wow, you guys who are sending your husband home so they don't have to sleep on the uncomfortable hospital chairs/couches are way nicer than I am. At our old hospital dh had a full bed, and I could never get him to wake up when I needed him to help me. When I saw on our hospital tour that this time he will just have one of those too-short pull-out chairs, I was like... "Good, maybe if you are uncomfortable I won't have to throw shit at you from my bed to get you to wake up and hand me the baby!" If I have to deal with my vagina being ripped open and a hungry person gnawing on my nipples, he can deal with less than ideal sleeping conditions for a couple nights. Does that make me a bitchy wife?
My husband was like this too and it can be so frustrating. Since I've been Prego this time he has become a light sleeper. He now gets up with my 2 year old at night if necessary. I'm LOVING it! So he is totally on the hook for helping my on day & night one for all the reasons you mentioned! The second night is more for my son to get back home and on his schedule. If it wasn't for that I'd make him camp out with me for the long haul!
At my birth center, they have one huuuuuge bed. Biggest I've ever seen. Probably at least California king size. It's actually two mattresses on the same bed and covered with a sheet to make it one bed so the parents can sleep in the bed but on a separate mattress so they won't disturb each other if they have to get up. I really like their set up!
At my birth center, they have one huuuuuge bed. Biggest I've ever seen. Probably at least California king size. It's actually two mattresses on the same bed and covered with a sheet to make it one bed so the parents can sleep in the bed but on a separate mattress so they won't disturb each other if they have to get up. I really like they're set up!
This sounds awesome! I'd love something like that. Our recovery rooms aren't very big.
@ellie111227, I personally don't send DH home because of the uncomfortable chairs and such. We don't have a long term babysitter, so he is only able to be there for birth day and then he stays overnight with our other three while I'm at the hospital. He stayed with me and slept on the uncomfortable recliner for DD1.
I will be sending DH home so he won't be totally useless when baby and I come home. I am going to want to lay in bed and sleep. I don't want him thinking he has an excuse to sleep bc he had crappy accommodations at the hospital....he can entertain DD while baby and I rest.
^^ and this.
I don't really care about DH being uncomfortable...he stayed with me last time and his ass was snoring while I was uncomfortable as hell. But even though my in-laws will be at the house with DD, she's going to find it really strange that we are both gone. She's never been alone overnight without at least one of us there, mainly bc our families live several states away so we don't have regular overnight babysitters. I will have him stay the first night, for sure, but if I stay a second night I'm going to send him home. Though he definitely slept more than me last time, he still didn't sleep much what with the baby crying to be changed and fed about every 2 hours...and we were both useless when we got home. If he's functional, i'll feel much better about going directly to my bed and passing out until the baby needs to nurse.
If I get my VBAC I'll be outta there ASAP. With my c-section I left a day early because they said I was doing fine and OMG you cannot sleep there with all the check-ups every two hours or more. I loved the room service, yes, but I needed to get a little sleep and I was useless when I got home because I was soooo tired. This time around my in-laws and mom will be watching DD so that is another reason I want to get home. I don't like other people in my house when I'm not there.
MC Sept 2010 BFP Oct 2011 - DD born July 2012 TTC again since July 2014 First IUI 9/26/16: BFP! EDD 6/19/2017 It's a girl!
Born 6/26/17, 9lb 5oz
If it helps: I asked the nurse to tape a sign up on my door from like midnight to 4am (if it's medically possible to not need checks during that time) and nobody came in unless I called them!
@LAMCH1980, a sign on the door is a great idea. I'm going to try that. One of my biggest reasons for wanting to leave the hospital asap is that I can't stand being woken up constantly. It's an awful feeling to get the baby asleep and then be woken up 30 minutes later to have vital signs taken.
I like the idea of being taken care of and us getting as much help as possible with this being our first baby, but I also despise hospitals with a passion. I hope to be out as soon as they let me, but with my bleeding risk I'm probably stuck for a couple days.
I like the idea of being taken care of and us getting as much help as possible with this being our first baby, but I also despise hospitals with a passion. I hope to be out as soon as they let me, but with my bleeding risk I'm probably stuck for a couple days.
With our first having that extra day because of the bleed was so nice. The nurses took extra good care of us and left us alone as much as possible so I could sleep and recover. It sounds weird, but it was almost like a vacation. Hopefully if you have to stay extra, they will do the same and make you extra comfy.
I'm planning on staying until they tell me to go home... I'm a FTM so being able to ask questions about BF and such as soon as they come up seriously makes me happy, I tend to forget them if I have to wait (and I never remember to write the questions down). So as long as they will take me off the IV and such I'm ok with staying.
I'm not sure what I'll do. But with my first I stayed for the 2 days they allowed me to. I enjoyed having the help with nursing and the reassurance that we weregettig good bills of health while we were there. It was also nice to have meals made and brought to me and less worry about blood stains on my things since I was in a hospital bed with their clothes and disposable underwear.
When i left it was bittersweet. I finally got to go home and sleep in my own bed etc but I had to part with the lactation consultant because insurance didn't cover home visits. I was totally ok though. It was just a transition.
I think I'll do the same but I'm not sure. We will see how we feel I suppose!
Is anyone else having trouble setting up arrangements for care of the other littles at home? My hubs is thinking he will have to go home to take care of them at night since we are having an issue with getting someone to watch DS. Could DS stay in the hospital with us? Any experience here?
@neludelu, we faced this issue when I went into labor this weekend. I had been nervous about who would end up watching DD( 21 months) b/c everyone in our family is so busy, so I had been packing her a bag over the last couple of weeks with diapers, wipes, other supplies for a sleepover with family. I also left a list next to the bag of last minute items to pack like clothes, coats, snacks, food and made sure to keep as much laundry clean as possible and as many snacks and groceries available. When the time came, she ended up being watched by a bunch of different family members but they were all just able to grab what they needed from my pile. I also suggest you be sure one or two people have a car seat, or know how to install and uninstall your car seat safely, and the stroller. And, also have a guest bedding and towels ready in case someone will sleep at your house. Once I was in labor, I basically had to let it work itself out, but at least I felt good knowing her stuff was somewhat prepared. Our family members all did a great job stepping up and transferring her back and forth and she actually had the time of her life doing fun stuff and getting spoiled. Because my labor was longer we spent 3 nights in the hospital, so on the 3rd night my husband did go home and stay with DD, which was great because he got the house back in order and got her back on her routine prior to me and the baby coming home. I was comfortable alone in the hospital and lucky enough to have a fantastic night nurse. Don't know how old your DS is, but it would not have worked to have DD in the hospital with us logistically and kids weren't allowed at night anyway. Whew, that was long, good luck, try not to stress! It'll go quickly.
@neludelu, we faced this issue when I went into labor this weekend. I had been nervous about who would end up watching DD( 21 months) b/c everyone in our family is so busy, so I had been packing her a bag over the last couple of weeks with diapers, wipes, other supplies for a sleepover with family. I also left a list next to the bag of last minute items to pack like clothes, coats, snacks, food and made sure to keep as much laundry clean as possible and as many snacks and groceries available. When the time came, she ended up being watched by a bunch of different family members but they were all just able to grab what they needed from my pile. I also suggest you be sure one or two people have a car seat, or know how to install and uninstall your car seat safely, and the stroller. And, also have a guest bedding and towels ready in case someone will sleep at your house. Once I was in labor, I basically had to let it work itself out, but at least I felt good knowing her stuff was somewhat prepared. Our family members all did a great job stepping up and transferring her back and forth and she actually had the time of her life doing fun stuff and getting spoiled. Because my labor was longer we spent 3 nights in the hospital, so on the 3rd night my husband did go home and stay with DD, which was great because he got the house back in order and got her back on her routine prior to me and the baby coming home. I was comfortable alone in the hospital and lucky enough to have a fantastic night nurse. Don't know how old your DS is, but it would not have worked to have DD in the hospital with us logistically and kids weren't allowed at night anyway. Whew, that was long, good luck, try not to stress! It'll go quickly.
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad it all worked out for you and congrats on the baby! My DS is also 21 months. I'm thinking my experience will be very similar to yours.
Is anyone else having trouble setting up arrangements for care of the other littles at home? My hubs is thinking he will have to go home to take care of them at night since we are having an issue with getting someone to watch DS. Could DS stay in the hospital with us? Any experience here?
Our plan is for dh to stay with her at night. If she happens to fall asleep though, I doubt they will kick her out. I'm packing her a bag and bringing it, because our plan is that she's in the waiting room with Grandma (unless she is asleep when we go in, then grandma will stay home with her). She will be with us from Morning until bed time. Dh will take her home at night to sleep and bring her back in pajamas. I'm nervous about being alone with the baby the first few nights and being away from dd. Ive never been away from dd at night. When she was born I had a major bleed and was super weak. Dh did pretty much everything except breastfeeding during our hospital stay. I changed 1 diaper in 3 days. So I just keep telling myself it will be different this time because I won't bleed, I'll have more energy hopefully.
We will be going with the flow on this because dd is 4 and is super calm, she will do fine either way. And we might have to share a room and in that case dh isn't even allowed to spend the night.
Is anyone else having trouble setting up arrangements for care of the other littles at home? My hubs is thinking he will have to go home to take care of them at night since we are having an issue with getting someone to watch DS. Could DS stay in the hospital with us? Any experience here?
Our plan is for dh to stay with her at night. If she happens to fall asleep though, I doubt they will kick her out. I'm packing her a bag and bringing it, because our plan is that she's in the waiting room with Grandma (unless she is asleep when we go in, then grandma will stay home with her). She will be with us from Morning until bed time. Dh will take her home at night to sleep and bring her back in pajamas. I'm nervous about being alone with the baby the first few nights and being away from dd. Ive never been away from dd at night. When she was born I had a major bleed and was super weak. Dh did pretty much everything except breastfeeding during our hospital stay. I changed 1 diaper in 3 days. So I just keep telling myself it will be different this time because I won't bleed, I'll have more energy hopefully.
We will be going with the flow on this because dd is 4 and is super calm, she will do fine either way. And we might have to share a room and in that case dh isn't even allowed to spend the night.
Sharing a room, I've never heard of such a thing. I'd be really mad if they told my DH he couldn't stay because the hospital isn't big enough to accomedate him. Family bonding is important and I feel the hospital should do all they can to promote that!
Sending positive vibes everything will work out smoothly for you all. I had a lot of bleed as well. I'm worried because my 28 week blood work said my iron levels were 2 points below the average low. I've been taking 2 iron pills a day since and I really hope it's enough. Since I had a lot of blood loss right after delivery and was slightly anemic at the time, I discussed my concerns with the dr early on. I was on the low end of normal at 11 weeks but she didn't say to increase iron. I'm mad that I didn't just do it anyways. I'm hoping the iron pills will help at least some.
Is anyone else having trouble setting up arrangements for care of the other littles at home? My hubs is thinking he will have to go home to take care of them at night since we are having an issue with getting someone to watch DS. Could DS stay in the hospital with us? Any experience here?
Our plan is for dh to stay with her at night. If she happens to fall asleep though, I doubt they will kick her out. I'm packing her a bag and bringing it, because our plan is that she's in the waiting room with Grandma (unless she is asleep when we go in, then grandma will stay home with her). She will be with us from Morning until bed time. Dh will take her home at night to sleep and bring her back in pajamas. I'm nervous about being alone with the baby the first few nights and being away from dd. Ive never been away from dd at night. When she was born I had a major bleed and was super weak. Dh did pretty much everything except breastfeeding during our hospital stay. I changed 1 diaper in 3 days. So I just keep telling myself it will be different this time because I won't bleed, I'll have more energy hopefully.
We will be going with the flow on this because dd is 4 and is super calm, she will do fine either way. And we might have to share a room and in that case dh isn't even allowed to spend the night.
Sharing a room, I've never heard of such a thing. I'd be really mad if they told my DH he couldn't stay because the hospital isn't big enough to accomedate him. Family bonding is important and I feel the hospital should do all they can to promote that!
Sending positive vibes everything will work out smoothly for you all. I had a lot of bleed as well. I'm worried because my 28 week blood work said my iron levels were 2 points below the average low. I've been taking 2 iron pills a day since and I really hope it's enough. Since I had a lot of blood loss right after delivery and was slightly anemic at the time, I discussed my concerns with the dr early on. I was on the low end of normal at 11 weeks but she didn't say to increase iron. I'm mad that I didn't just do it anyways. I'm hoping the iron pills will help at least some.
Yeah it's pretty weird. I've never seen it either. The nurse said they don't room in unless absolutely necessary. It could work out good though and I could get a shared room with no room mate. Then maybe dh and dd could sleep there? I don't know. I'm trying not to stress about it. For iron try floradix. It worked wonders for me when I was anemic last year. It's liquid and made from food so it doesn't constipate you and drink lots of water before going to the hospital. My iron is high this time luckily, but I'm still going to eat meat and stay hydrated on the big day.
@neludelu , the hospital I work at wouldn't bat an eye at your son staying the night as long as there was another adult present besides yourself. They probably wouldn't allow him to be there during the labor, but postpartum shouldn't be an issue. Not sure what your hospital allows, but it's certainly worth trying if you don't have an alternative option and don't want your DH to have to leave you and baby.
Is anyone else having trouble setting up arrangements for care of the other littles at home? My hubs is thinking he will have to go home to take care of them at night since we are having an issue with getting someone to watch DS. Could DS stay in the hospital with us? Any experience here?
Our plan is for dh to stay with her at night. If she happens to fall asleep though, I doubt they will kick her out. I'm packing her a bag and bringing it, because our plan is that she's in the waiting room with Grandma (unless she is asleep when we go in, then grandma will stay home with her). She will be with us from Morning until bed time. Dh will take her home at night to sleep and bring her back in pajamas. I'm nervous about being alone with the baby the first few nights and being away from dd. Ive never been away from dd at night. When she was born I had a major bleed and was super weak. Dh did pretty much everything except breastfeeding during our hospital stay. I changed 1 diaper in 3 days. So I just keep telling myself it will be different this time because I won't bleed, I'll have more energy hopefully.
We will be going with the flow on this because dd is 4 and is super calm, she will do fine either way. And we might have to share a room and in that case dh isn't even allowed to spend the night.
That would make me really upset. When DD was born, I was so exhausted that her crying didn't even wake me at night. She woke up DH, so he changed her and woke me to feed her.
I stay as long as possible. 4 nights last time, hoping for the same this time around. I heard it may only be 3 nights for repeat csections and that makes me sad.
Is anyone else having trouble setting up arrangements for care of the other littles at home? My hubs is thinking he will have to go home to take care of them at night since we are having an issue with getting someone to watch DS. Could DS stay in the hospital with us? Any experience here?
Our plan is for dh to stay with her at night. If she happens to fall asleep though, I doubt they will kick her out. I'm packing her a bag and bringing it, because our plan is that she's in the waiting room with Grandma (unless she is asleep when we go in, then grandma will stay home with her). She will be with us from Morning until bed time. Dh will take her home at night to sleep and bring her back in pajamas. I'm nervous about being alone with the baby the first few nights and being away from dd. Ive never been away from dd at night. When she was born I had a major bleed and was super weak. Dh did pretty much everything except breastfeeding during our hospital stay. I changed 1 diaper in 3 days. So I just keep telling myself it will be different this time because I won't bleed, I'll have more energy hopefully.
We will be going with the flow on this because dd is 4 and is super calm, she will do fine either way. And we might have to share a room and in that case dh isn't even allowed to spend the night.
That would make me really upset. When DD was born, I was so exhausted that her crying didn't even wake me at night. She woke up DH, so he changed her and woke me to feed her.
It's especially strange to me because they don't have a nursery either. I'm personally against nurseries, but it would only make sense for me to have two moms and no babies share. That way they could actually sleep instead of having double the newborns up at night. Very strange mix of old fashioned and modern.
Is anyone else having trouble setting up arrangements for care of the other littles at home? My hubs is thinking he will have to go home to take care of them at night since we are having an issue with getting someone to watch DS. Could DS stay in the hospital with us? Any experience here?
Our plan is for dh to stay with her at night. If she happens to fall asleep though, I doubt they will kick her out. I'm packing her a bag and bringing it, because our plan is that she's in the waiting room with Grandma (unless she is asleep when we go in, then grandma will stay home with her). She will be with us from Morning until bed time. Dh will take her home at night to sleep and bring her back in pajamas. I'm nervous about being alone with the baby the first few nights and being away from dd. Ive never been away from dd at night. When she was born I had a major bleed and was super weak. Dh did pretty much everything except breastfeeding during our hospital stay. I changed 1 diaper in 3 days. So I just keep telling myself it will be different this time because I won't bleed, I'll have more energy hopefully.
We will be going with the flow on this because dd is 4 and is super calm, she will do fine either way. And we might have to share a room and in that case dh isn't even allowed to spend the night.
That would make me really upset. When DD was born, I was so exhausted that her crying didn't even wake me at night. She woke up DH, so he changed her and woke me to feed her.
It's especially strange to me because they don't have a nursery either. I'm personally against nurseries, but it would only make sense for me to have two moms and no babies share. That way they could actually sleep instead of having double the newborns up at night. Very strange mix of old fashioned and modern.
That is strange. I hope you get a room to yourself so you can at least try to rest.
Re: GTKY - Hospital Stay
I also am ok with him going back to work as soon as I am home. I need my space and can handle my children. He just gets in the way.
^^This...
^^ and this.
I don't really care about DH being uncomfortable...he stayed with me last time and his ass was snoring while I was uncomfortable as hell. But even though my in-laws will be at the house with DD, she's going to find it really strange that we are both gone. She's never been alone overnight without at least one of us there, mainly bc our families live several states away so we don't have regular overnight babysitters. I will have him stay the first night, for sure, but if I stay a second night I'm going to send him home. Though he definitely slept more than me last time, he still didn't sleep much what with the baby crying to be changed and fed about every 2 hours...and we were both useless when we got home. If he's functional, i'll feel much better about going directly to my bed and passing out until the baby needs to nurse.
BFP Oct 2011 - DD born July 2012
TTC again since July 2014
First IUI 9/26/16: BFP!
EDD 6/19/2017
It's a girl!
Born 6/26/17, 9lb 5oz
BFP #1 9/1999. DD Born 6/7/2000
BFP #2 10/2011. EDD 7/11/12. MMC discovered 11/2/11. D&C 11/4/11.
DX PCOS 10/2012.
BFP#3 1/11/13. DS Born 9/17/2013
BFP#4 9/30/17. Grow baby grow!
~Everyone Welcome~
This is time I'll give birth at a birth center and will stay max of 12 hours.
When i left it was bittersweet. I finally got to go home and sleep in my own bed etc but I had to part with the lactation consultant because insurance didn't cover home visits. I was totally ok though. It was just a transition.
I think I'll do the same but I'm not sure. We will see how we feel I suppose!
We will be going with the flow on this because dd is 4 and is super calm, she will do fine either way. And we might have to share a room and in that case dh isn't even allowed to spend the night.
Sending positive vibes everything will work out smoothly for you all. I had a lot of bleed as well. I'm worried because my 28 week blood work said my iron levels were 2 points below the average low. I've been taking 2 iron pills a day since and I really hope it's enough. Since I had a lot of blood loss right after delivery and was slightly anemic at the time, I discussed my concerns with the dr early on. I was on the low end of normal at 11 weeks but she didn't say to increase iron. I'm mad that I didn't just do it anyways. I'm hoping the iron pills will help at least some.
For iron try floradix. It worked wonders for me when I was anemic last year. It's liquid and made from food so it doesn't constipate you and drink lots of water before going to the hospital.
My iron is high this time luckily, but I'm still going to eat meat and stay hydrated on the big day.
~Declare it..Claim it..It will be!!~
5/9/09
Here We Go Again!!