We announced to immediate family on Mother's Day. My mothers reaction was, as always, lackluster. Barely even cracked a smile. It broke my heart. My dads reaction was similar, but his memory is starting to go. They say they're happy, but I want the reactions you see if the announcement videos. I want them to be overjoyed. But the true twatwaffle of the group was my FIL. He saw DSs "big brother" shirt, asks me if I'm pregnant. Then he sighs, shakes his head and goes, "Well, congratulations I guess." What the hell?! I could've punched him in the face. I wanted to flip the eff out and walk out, but I won't act like that in front of my son. I'm so tired of our family always living up to my worst expectations.
I also got got a lot of pressure from the entire family because they want this LO to be a girl. Not really something under my control there people!
I'm sorry they lived up to the worst! My bff actually gave me the reaction I was hoping for complete with hyperventilating crying and squealing, our parents were happy but no squealing to be had....
@mamakassie2 What the absolute F***? Even if I thought
someone was making a terrible “life” decision by having a child, I would still
be thrilled when they told me. No matter how you slice it, the pros outweigh
the cons. I can relate on the pressure. My FIL (who is not a bad guy)
desperately wants me to have a boy to “carry on the blood line.” Umm… is it the
1500s?
My TW is whomever is controlling the heat in my office building. We were told because of a steam outage (what?) that it "might be cold" until May 21st and to "bring a sweater." Cold is an understatement and my sweater isn't doing ANYTHING. Ughhhh.
@EmilyLove25@mamakassie2 when we found out DS2 was a boy (which I was THRILLED about) my MIL: goes "ugh, you were supposed to give me a granddaughter." WTF. Its one of the reasons I'm undecided about finding out this time, because if its another boy I don't want anyone being disappointed about that. People are beyond.
DS1: Nov. 2013 DS2: Jan. 2016 DS3: Dec. 2017 Baby #4 on the way!
My TW goes out to my workplace - our email has been down for over 24 hours now, and then this morning they decided to block all web based email (e.g., gmail) as well. So I'm essentially in a communications deadzone, right as I'm waiting on several documents I need for a grant submission...
@mamakassie2 I would have cried! I'm super excited for you and I don't even know you! @KatieEl my mil said the same thing! So ridiculous! I also had people (more than one!) say "now you'll have to try for a girl" when I told them it was a boy. Um, excuse me, this one isn't even out yet and he's already not good enough for you??
My tw is the weather where I live (if that counts) ). It's been so cold in the morning so I have the heat on then a few hours later it's over 70! I'm already having a difficult enough time regulating my temperature.
my TW is our admin, who is a waste of space, and she is smelly and gross. I cant stand her and my boss is never around to see what a crappy employee she is since the only work she ever actually does is for the boss to get as much brown on her nose as she can.
@mamakassie2 I am not a violent person by any stretch of the imagination, but I would have absolutely smacked the **** out of him for that comment. Is disgusting and totally unacceptable. You're creating another human inside of your own body and are introducing a new person into your family - it's BEAUTIFUL!!! And I am super excited for you as well!!
Like. I'm aggressively body-positive, and the amount of body policing and shame that society piles onto women during a hugely vulnerable time in their lives in effin' BS.
Furthermore, it doesn't even specify what amount of weight is "too much," just lists off a bunch of "oh no, so many bad things happen to people when their bodies don't conform to specific societal standards."
@scatteringashes My Mom was telling me a story about her being pregnant with my older brother. She said she gained almost 60 lbs while being pregnant with him! She was about 8 months pregnant and at that point had gained about 50 lbs, the nurse that saw her said "Do you know how much a baby weighs?" and my Mom answered. And the nurse goes "You know you wont magically lose all that weight when the baby is delivered, maybe 10 pounds, do the math". The shock and horror in those moments she realized she was going to have to work those other lbs off lol. She was pretty upset no one had told her that until she was that big at 8 months. So second time around with me she gained 25 lbs.
@scatteringashes that is bs! I gained 55lbs with both pregnancies and I was super healthy - running until I was too big to be comfortable, doing Zumba and aerobics classes until delivery, daily walks at lunch, etc. and to top it off, all the weight was in my stomach (I looked like I was smuggling a huge watermelon)! People handle weight differently. I hate seeing stuff like that, including the archaic BMI...
@miranda21037 what a rude comment from the nurse! I'm glad your mom was able to control her weight the 2nd time, but you lose more than 10lbs on average (baby+placenta+blood loss+general fluid loss). I was down about 25lbs 5 days after my 2nd section!
6th cycle of meds/iui combos = BFP!! - EDD 1/21/13 Born via emergency c-section - 8lb, 19.75 in, 100% stubborn
BFP Chart 8 cycles of unmedicated trying = BFP!! - EDD 1/10/18 *Waiting for Baby Eags 2.0*;
@EmilyLove25@KatieEl@caeilievalor Honestly, I'm not even surprised at his reaction. It was the same reaction he had when we got engaged, when we got married, when we announced with DS. He's just miserable and incapable of being happy for anyone.
@schaze He actually has a great relationship with DS, everyone does. He only ever complains that he doesn't get enough time with him. We tell him he can always stop by to see him, but we have busy lives and jobs and can't drop everything to take him over to his house 3 times a week. We do make time every Sunday to see him but it's never enough.
I'm biased, but DS is a pretty phenomenal little boy. Everyone is always so surprised at how well behaved, well mannered and sweet he his. Even his gymnastics coach mentioned to me that he's the best listener in class. I wish I could take credit, but he was born that way. My sisters call him "the sucker baby" because he was/is so easy he could sucker you into having a dozen kids.
Yeah it's all BS. I gained almost 60 lbs with DD. My OB didn't say anything about my weight. Unfortunately I couldn't lose the last 30lbs until I stopped nursing, but then it melted off.
@mamakassie2, what is wrong with your family? You have better self control than I do. I try to avoid confrontation and find a peaceful solution in most situations...but I would have lost my S*** in that one.
My students are total twatwaffles right now. I hate saying that because I love them, but it's like they seriously know I'm weak right now. They're like sharks. They smell blood in the water, and they attack. Examples: I had one student literally just get up and walk out of class last period. When I asked her why, she responded, "I had a phone call." What? When is it ever okay to just walk out of class? And another kid. He just shouted across the classroom, "Brian is totally stoned," in the middle of my demonstration? What is happening to these kids? When did a basic understanding of proper classroom behavior just fly out the window?
Ugh I'm so annoyed with my realtor who all but promised our house would sell the day we listed. She bullied us into listing it for a price that seemed way too high to DH and me, and now we've had only 4 showings and no offers. And she knew time was of the essence here. Just frustrated.
DS1: Nov. 2013 DS2: Jan. 2016 DS3: Dec. 2017 Baby #4 on the way!
@cyanope Your post made me lol (although I totally
sympathize with your situation). A high schooler having a phone call, lol. My college
students are done for the semester but final grades post tomorrow. I’m just
astonished at these people sometimes… one kid simply did not properly withdraw
from a class, so instead of a W, he has an F… because he was too lazy to click “send”
on his email? Must be nice having rich parents funding your wasted hours here!
@KatieEl Ugh to the realtor. Annoying! Like it is your JOB
to give good advice here.
@scatteringashes What the absolute F? Their statistics seem
faulty to me too! I also find it hilarious “ : Study” That’s your title? You
are ending it with colon study? You are not even going to identify the study here?
[Also Of and Too should not be capitalized] It may as well be, “Nearly Half Of US
Women Gain Too Much Pregnancy Weight: Uncle Ned’s research on three women he
knows on FB indicates”
@mamakassie2 Your FIL's reaction sucks! We haven't told anyone yet but when my sister announced her pregnancy my dad's reaction was "I'm not sure I'm old enough to be a grandfather". Literally no excitement from him at all. That POS is well over 65 and honestly old enough to be his own youngest children's grandfather. Dick.
@cyanope Kids being like sharks is the perfect comparison, they have a sixth sense about weakness.
@KatieEl That sucks about your listing - I will say that when we were looking sometimes a price drop drew our attention. Still, it's better to have the right price up front.
@scatteringashes I have been reading the book "Expecting Better" which was written by an economist who, upon becoming pregnant, was totally baffled and horrified by the way modern medicine treats pregnant women - as if we can't make our own decisions. I just got to the section on weight and she has the recommendations for weight gain in there based on pre-pregnancy BMI. She points out some interesting flaws in these types of studies - like that it's hard to isolate causation when you have a mom with an overweight/obese BMI who gains more than the suggested weight. Studies show children of those mothers may in turn have trouble with their own weight , but is that because of the weight gain during pregnancy, or is it more about lifestyle?
My dr's office are being twatwaffles by not calling me with my initial bw results. I know nothing will be definitive until the second beta draw but for FUCK's sake they told me I'd get my results this afternoon and I've left a message and nada. I am on the fence about this practice anyway-- my normal OBGYN is in the practice and somehow has been out of network for my (incredibly common type) of insurance for over a year so I'm currently being treated by their midwife -- and this might push me over. If it's going to be an ordeal to get information from them this isn't going to work.
@scatteringashes thank you for posting that here. I HATE the weight gain talk. I constantly get comments from my dad about "being more healthy" and to his defense he was a hardcore Marine so I get the mentality behind it.. BUT I don't think women should be made to feel guilty about gaining weight. I'm the heaviest I've been in about 10 years but I'm still a size 8 and I have curves so I say eff off to anyone who gives me shit. Be healthy and be happy. Should I use my extra 300 calories a day to eat a candy bar? No.. does it happen on occasion? Yes. lol moderation. I also plan on getting a jogging stroller and hiring a trainer after baby if possible.
I always, in every way, shape, or form, hate fat shaming. I'm technically obese and am also a nurse practitioner and I couldn't give 2 f*ucks about the weight thing. I actually changed OBGYNs because of the fat shaming. No one knows what it's like being me and what I've gone through in my life, and I don't judge my patients either about their weight, just like I don't judge them on their height or hair color. IMO, just eat healthy and move your body daily and it'll all work out fine. Sorry, rant over, but this topic always gets to me on a personal level
...Even though this is from *Tuesday*, I can still post here. My TW is my DH. Last night he wanted to get all cuddly and I told him my boobs were sore (still are btw) and he SCOFFS. He straight up let out a whiny laugh and said..and I quote, "You're not feeling anything yet my gosh Brit, what's the other 7-8 months going to be like...geesh."
EXCUSE ME?? I proceeded to show him my Bump App and the literary section where it states CLEARLY that we all at 5-6 weeks are experiencing some sort of sore boobs, fatigue and nausea. GGGRRRRRRRRR. Needless to say, I rolled over.
Re: Twatwaffle Tuesday
I also got got a lot of pressure from the entire family because they want this LO to be a girl. Not really something under my control there people!
Together Let Us Seek the Heights
@mamakassie2 What the absolute F***? Even if I thought someone was making a terrible “life” decision by having a child, I would still be thrilled when they told me. No matter how you slice it, the pros outweigh the cons. I can relate on the pressure. My FIL (who is not a bad guy) desperately wants me to have a boy to “carry on the blood line.” Umm… is it the 1500s?
My TW is whomever is controlling the heat in my office building. We were told because of a steam outage (what?) that it "might be cold" until May 21st and to "bring a sweater." Cold is an understatement and my sweater isn't doing ANYTHING. Ughhhh.
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
DS2: Jan. 2016
DS3: Dec. 2017
Baby #4 on the way!
@KatieEl my mil said the same thing! So ridiculous! I also had people (more than one!) say "now you'll have to try for a girl" when I told them it was a boy. Um, excuse me, this one isn't even out yet and he's already not good enough for you??
My tw is the weather where I live (if that counts) ). It's been so cold in the morning so I have the heat on then a few hours later it's over 70! I'm already having a difficult enough time regulating my temperature.
Mine is just my cat for using my boob as a launching pad this morning to the dresser. Ouch.
Like. I'm aggressively body-positive, and the amount of body policing and shame that society piles onto women during a hugely vulnerable time in their lives in effin' BS.Furthermore, it doesn't even specify what amount of weight is "too much," just lists off a bunch of "oh no, so many bad things happen to people when their bodies don't conform to specific societal standards."
@miranda21037 what a rude comment from the nurse! I'm glad your mom was able to control her weight the 2nd time, but you lose more than 10lbs on average (baby+placenta+blood loss+general fluid loss). I was down about 25lbs 5 days after my 2nd section!
Born via emergency c-section - 8lb, 19.75 in, 100% stubborn BFP Chart
8 cycles of unmedicated trying = BFP!! - EDD 1/10/18
*Waiting for Baby Eags 2.0*;
@schaze He actually has a great relationship with DS, everyone does. He only ever complains that he doesn't get enough time with him. We tell him he can always stop by to see him, but we have busy lives and jobs and can't drop everything to take him over to his house 3 times a week. We do make time every Sunday to see him but it's never enough.
I'm biased, but DS is a pretty phenomenal little boy. Everyone is always so surprised at how well behaved, well mannered and sweet he his. Even his gymnastics coach mentioned to me that he's the best listener in class. I wish I could take credit, but he was born that way. My sisters call him "the sucker baby" because he was/is so easy he could sucker you into having a dozen kids.
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
My students are total twatwaffles right now. I hate saying that because I love them, but it's like they seriously know I'm weak right now. They're like sharks. They smell blood in the water, and they attack. Examples: I had one student literally just get up and walk out of class last period. When I asked her why, she responded, "I had a phone call." What? When is it ever okay to just walk out of class? And another kid. He just shouted across the classroom, "Brian is totally stoned," in the middle of my demonstration? What is happening to these kids? When did a basic understanding of proper classroom behavior just fly out the window?
DS2: Jan. 2016
DS3: Dec. 2017
Baby #4 on the way!
The weight stuff is absolute bs. It makes me so ragey.
@cyanope Your post made me lol (although I totally sympathize with your situation). A high schooler having a phone call, lol. My college students are done for the semester but final grades post tomorrow. I’m just astonished at these people sometimes… one kid simply did not properly withdraw from a class, so instead of a W, he has an F… because he was too lazy to click “send” on his email? Must be nice having rich parents funding your wasted hours here!
@KatieEl Ugh to the realtor. Annoying! Like it is your JOB to give good advice here.
@scatteringashes What the absolute F? Their statistics seem faulty to me too! I also find it hilarious “ : Study” That’s your title? You are ending it with colon study? You are not even going to identify the study here? [Also Of and Too should not be capitalized] It may as well be, “Nearly Half Of US Women Gain Too Much Pregnancy Weight: Uncle Ned’s research on three women he knows on FB indicates”
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
@cyanope Kids being like sharks is the perfect comparison, they have a sixth sense about weakness.
@KatieEl That sucks about your listing - I will say that when we were looking sometimes a price drop drew our attention. Still, it's better to have the right price up front.
@scatteringashes I have been reading the book "Expecting Better" which was written by an economist who, upon becoming pregnant, was totally baffled and horrified by the way modern medicine treats pregnant women - as if we can't make our own decisions. I just got to the section on weight and she has the recommendations for weight gain in there based on pre-pregnancy BMI. She points out some interesting flaws in these types of studies - like that it's hard to isolate causation when you have a mom with an overweight/obese BMI who gains more than the suggested weight. Studies show children of those mothers may in turn have trouble with their own weight , but is that because of the weight gain during pregnancy, or is it more about lifestyle?
My dr's office are being twatwaffles by not calling me with my initial bw results. I know nothing will be definitive until the second beta draw but for FUCK's sake they told me I'd get my results this afternoon and I've left a message and nada. I am on the fence about this practice anyway-- my normal OBGYN is in the practice and somehow has been out of network for my (incredibly common type) of insurance for over a year so I'm currently being treated by their midwife -- and this might push me over. If it's going to be an ordeal to get information from them this isn't going to work.
...Even though this is from *Tuesday*, I can still post here. My TW is my DH. Last night he wanted to get all cuddly and I told him my boobs were sore (still are btw) and he SCOFFS. He straight up let out a whiny laugh and said..and I quote, "You're not feeling anything yet my gosh Brit, what's the other 7-8 months going to be like...geesh."
EXCUSE ME?? I proceeded to show him my Bump App and the literary section where it states CLEARLY that we all at 5-6 weeks are experiencing some sort of sore boobs, fatigue and nausea. GGGRRRRRRRRR. Needless to say, I rolled over.