FFC 5/12

[Deleted User] · May 2017

Image: https://bestanimations.com/Nature/Fire/simpsons-fire-gif.gif

*not guaranteed to be flame-free*

mamakassie2 · May 2017

I *really* want a sprinkle for this baby, especially if we end up having a girl. DS will be nearly 5 when this one is born and it would be nice to have just a few new things and a little celebration. This baby is also the first one since DS on my side and will be the first in 4 years on DHs side. I think that deserves a party!

missblaze · May 2017

mamakassie2 said:

I *really* want a sprinkle for this baby, especially if we end up having a girl. DS will be nearly 5 when this one is born and it would be nice to have just a few new things and a little celebration. This baby is also the first one since DS on my side and will be the first in 4 years on DHs side. I think that deserves a party!

@mamakassie2 I feel this way too. I don't want a huge shower like the 1st time, but I REALLY want a sprinkle.

EmilyLove25 · May 2017

@mamakassie2 and @missblaze I couldn't agree more, and I feel that's especially true if this is a boy... I had never heard the term sprinkle but love it!

mamakassie2 · May 2017

omg @missblaze and @EmilyLove25 I feel so much better now! I was afraid I was being a bit ridiculous.

cyanope · May 2017

I may get TOTALLY flamed for this one...but here it goes.
I think it's lame when women use pregnancy as a reason not to be intimate with their husbands.
I will stop here and say that I know there are some real physical and emotional reasons for not having sex while pregnant...and these are NOT the ones I'm referring to. I'm talking just the, "eh...I can't work up the energy, or don't have the drive to do so" kind of excuses. I'm not saying that there are days when this doesn't happen. I'm human. I say no too. I just know a lot of women who basically didn't have sex for their whole pregnancy for one reason or another, and I judge the crap out of them.
Disclaimer: My husband does not "expect" me to have sex with him. I do so because it is mutually enjoyable. I also struggle with a lack of drive during the first trimester, but I make an effort to keep our sex life a reality, because that is how he connects to me. I connect through conversation and contact. I would be heartbroken if he told me, "I'm too tired to talk tonight, babe." So, that's how I look at it. He always makes time to connect with me emotionally, so I try to make time to connect with him physically. We're both just trying to speak the other one's love language!
Sheesh...that was long!

AnyMax · May 2017

^^Eff that noise^^
I'm working 50+ hour weeks overnight, caring for our 2 yo during the day on little to no sleep, and his newest offspring is draining the life out of me and making me puke constantly.
He can live without sex until I feel like it again.

AnyMax · May 2017

@mamakassie2 I have thrown so many damn sprinkles after my friends hinted at wanting one, I better not have to even hint at it

cyanope · May 2017

Haha, @AnyMax, like I said, I knew I would get flamed for that confession...we all know FFFC are usually not "flame free."
I also work an insane amount of hours (teaching does not just equal bell to bell. I also have prep and grading, which puts me at 50+ hours a week too), have a 16 month old, and am barely functioning as well. But I make time for physical intimacy, because, like I said, it's important in my relationship. It's one of the major ways I connect with my husband, and I feel that void if we go too long without it.
You do you. I'm not judging you for it. I just judge my friends who use that excuse for their ENTIRE pregnancy, because it's a "get out of jail free" card for them.

[Deleted User] · May 2017

I think we had sex twice during my pregnancy with DD. DH absolutely understood that I was self conscious, tired, and uncomfortable and I had no drive, and we were able to connect more with communication instead of physically. It was actually great, and I don't regret not having sex more for 9 months. Don't get me wrong, I love me some good sex, but when the drive isn't there, it isn't there.

cyanope · May 2017

Hey, if you find other ways to connect, @schaze, you go for it! There are definite physical/emotional reasons that some women can't have sex while pregnant. I get that.

libbberty · May 2017

@cyanope I'm with you! It's tough, though. Some people believe you should never have sex if you aren't in the mood (which I totally get), and others believe it's like exercising - you gotta stay on the horse or get back on the horse even if you just don't feel like riding the horse one bit

I'm in that camp. Plus, our relationship just goes better when DH feels loved - even if I'm not in the mood, I get it back in return other ways!

tdevlindrye · May 2017

My view re: sex (like, actual intercourse) is I don't want it and probably won't. But I like keeping DH satisfied by other fun activities.

mamakassie2 · May 2017

@AnyMax If no one else throws you a sprinkle, I will! Haha! The only way I'm getting one is if this lo is a girl.

EmilyLove25 · May 2017

@schaze @AnyMax @cyanope OH I love this conversation! First, for my anxiety I cannot have sex until I see the baby (early US) because if I bled from sex, which is normal, I would absolutely lose my mind and have an anxiety attack... but also we were TTC so we were having more sex than we've ever had, so a break is okay... but to @schaze point--I actually feel incredibly sexy pregnant once the belly is showing. Like 5-9 months was, I think, the hottest I've been in my entire life, but the belly scared DH too much, lol. He could barely ever do it! He said it looked like my vagina was connected to where the baby was... I said, "yeah, it is!" Haha.

[Deleted User] · May 2017

@EmilyLove25 I feel the same. Until I see the baby on an ultrasound, I'm not doing it.

cyanope · May 2017

I get the anxiety with sex, @EmilyLove25. **TW My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks. So, when I got pregnant with DD, it took a LONG time for me to be able to have sex. Logically, my mind knew that sex wouldn't harm the baby, but my anxiety was too much to do it. DH totally understood, and we didn't have sex for about six weeks after I found out I was pregnant. With this pregnancy, I (thankfully) haven't been experiencing that anxiety, so it has been "game on." I totally get why some women can't do it. I do not diminish their anxiety/emotions regarding the act.
ETA: I didn't have ANY drive in my 1st and 3rd trimesters, but during my 2nd, watch out!

mamakassie2 · May 2017

I have no sex drive while pregnant, my poor H.

AnyMax · May 2017

@mamakassie2 joint sprinkle

mamakassie2 · May 2017

AnyMax said:

@mamakassie2 joint sprinkle

Oh my god, that would be so much fun!

PhillymommaX2 · May 2017

I average sex 4-5x per pregnancy. We have a great non- pregnant sex life so I have no worries about our temporary situation and lack of sex. Plus I throw some BJs his way to keep him satisfied ;-)

mamakassie2 · May 2017

Man. What a lame FFFC.

burnsmommy27 · May 2017

Here's one for you ladies. I am unpacking my maternity clothes this weekend because stretchy pants for amazing. I waited way to long last pregnancy trying to squeeze into pants or wear them unbuttoned. Not this time, I'm getting an early start.

jakobaby · May 2017

I have zero drive during pregnancy as well. Where are these women that supposedly have an amazing sex drive during pregnancy?

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